Martin and Louisa had been invited to Christmas dinner at the Parsons. Christmas at the Parsons was a noisy, rambunctious affair with their three children and their spouses, five grandchildren, Chris's brother, Jenny's sister, Martin and Louisa. Mercifully, they didn't all arrive at the same time. After years of trying to get everybody to eat at the table together, the Parsons now served a Christmas buffet and had placed tables and chairs throughout their spacious home for people to dine as they pleased.
After a delicious meal of turkey with homemade spicy stuffing, roast beef, roasted potatoes, Quiche, sprouts, carrots and a green salad, the older adults ended up in the study for dessert and drinks.
Louisa hadn't eaten much. Christmas was still a sad time for her. Her best moment of the evening was when she joined the children in a makeshift playroom to read them a modern pop-up version of Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol. When Martin looked in on her, she was sitting on the floor with two of the toddlers in her arms giggling at the antics she had come up with to get a laugh out of them. She gave Martin a wide grin and a wink, when she looked up and saw him. Satisfied, he went back to the study.
After rejoining the others in the study, Louisa excused herself to go to the loo. When she didn't return after what Martin thought was a reasonable time, he got worried and went looking for her. Chris wasn't far behind.
She had begun feeling faint as the evening wore on. If she could just take deep breaths and splash water over her face, she thought, the feeling would pass. She barely managed to close the door behind her when she felt her throat and chest tightening. She knelt on the floor, splashed water on her face, held her head over the bathtub and tried to pant hoping it would go away. But she couldn't get her head and her breath to work together and this is how Martin and Chris found her. She looked up at them pale and terrified, tears rolling down her cheeks, water dripping from her hair and face, her hands at her throat, struggling to breathe.
Chris ran to the kitchen and returned paper bag in hand.
Martin knelt beside her, took her in his arms and in a soothing, firm voice said,"Louisa, you're having a panic attack. I am going to place this paper bag over your mouth and I want you to breathe into it."
Even with the bag over her mouth, she continued to struggle,
Martin in the most calming voice he could muster, said "Please take deep breaths, Louisa."
"I can't. Please help me, I can't," she moaned, as she tried to wriggle out of his arms.
Ignoring her writhing, he held her tighter and said, "I'm here, you're safe. Slowly now, deep breaths. Another one. No rush, just breathe slowly. That's it."
When she had her breathing under control, he asked, "Louisa, tell me what happened."
"I don't know," she gasped, still imagining that she was dying.
"Take your time and try to remember." Martin was trying not to sound brusque, but he was horrified to find Louisa in this state and wanted to get to the bottom of it quickly if it was more than a panic attack.
"I had begun to feel sad and tired, like my legs could not hold me up. The next thing I knew, I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to die. I thought that if I found somewhere quiet I could deal with it. I didn't want to be a bother."
"Shush. You're not going to die and you're not a bother to anyone. See, you're feeling better already," Martin assured her gently now that he felt she had told him all he needed to know.
When she had recovered enough to talk without squirming and not wanting to spoil the evening, she tried to swear them to secrecy about her panic attack, If not from Jenny, at least the others. Martin helped her up from the floor from where they were kneeling, and that's when Chris stepped in and Jenny pushed her way into the loo.
"NO Louisa. You and Mart MUST decide where your relationship is going. You're putting yourself through needless stress, worrying yourself sick about the unknown. This is what caused your panic attack." He paused for breath. "The life you had in Portwenn with Nathan is OVER. You and Mart fell in love with each other when you met on that Interview Committee. And what happened? You both mucked it up. I have been fixing Mart's life since I met him. Since that seems to be my life's work, let ME fix this mess once and for all."
Martin blustered. "Chris, there's no need...
"Yes, there's need. For God's sake, ask Louisa to marry you now." Shaking his head in despair, he pushed them into each other's arms.
Louisa reached up and buried her face in Martin's neck.
Chris interrupted. "You're stalling. The proposal."
Louisa collapsed in laughter as Chris and Jenny backed up against the door, while Martin slid his tall frame down to the floor, next to the bath, knelt before her, and pleaded.
"Please Louisa, marry me. I can't bear to be without you."
She pulled him up to her from off his knees and answered him with a long kiss, "Yes, I will. I love you Martin Ellingham."
Chris and Jenny burst out in applause. "Let's go back to the study and raise a proper toast for Mart and Louisa," Jenny said.
They piled out. Outside the door, a crowd had gathered curious about what was happening inside the loo.
"Mart just asked Louisa to marry him and she said yes..." Chris began.
He didn't get a chance to finish before everybody started cheering. Someone brought glasses and bottles of port and right there, in the corridor, outside the loo, a toast went up for the newly engaged.
"Uncle Martin, you're full of surprises." Laura exclaimed giving him and Louisa a kiss.
Even the older children got into the act as they skipped and jumped about, in the narrow corridor, excited at this turn of events at their Christmas dinner. Laura brought them to attention by reminding them that it was time for their Christmas tradition, the exchange of gifts. Chris had told Martin and Louisa that they could bring a generic gift for someone or choose someone to gift and let him know. Martin chose Louisa, baby Martin and Jenny. Louisa chose Jenny and Martin.
Louisa was still stunned by how quickly things had progressed. She knew she was worrying too much, especially about what would become of her and Martin when he returned to London now that the Project was over. She was certain she wanted Martin in her life. How and where, she didn't know. Not in her wildest dreams could she have imagined that on Christmas Day, Martin would have asked her to marry him, in of all places, a loo and that Chris would come to their rescue and Martin would allow him to do so.
Sitting around the Christmas tree, she held on to Martin's big strong hands. The rant from Chris had forced her to admit to herself that she had deluded herself for a long time. Once more, she appreciated the gem of a friend he was to them. Martin nudged her gently back from her thoughts when Laura handed her Martin's gift. Slowly, she peeled away the gold and red gift wrap and matching ribbons from the small box. She gasped. Inside was a platinum ring inset with yjr most perfect dark, vivid red ruby stone she had ever seen. Holding her breath, she read the words on the card in the box: L. Always, M.
Jenny nudged her playfully, "See. You are meant for each other."
She turned to Martin and whispered, "This is more than I ever expected. It's beautiful. I have another gift for you at home."
He leaned down and whispered back, "Can't wait."
Louisa's gift to Martin was a beautiful pastel of Portwenn's harbour. She knew that when he lived in the village he used to look out across the harbour from his surgery most mornings, as he drank his coffee. She had found it at an estate sale for an art collector, and had it cleaned and reframed. There was a perfect spot for it in Martin's bedroom. From that spot, she hoped it would keep her in his thoughts. They didn't stay long at the Parsons as they were leaving on the early train the next morning. They had decided to celebrate Christmas at Louisa's cottage because it was homier than his hotel and they had wanted to make this Christmas special. When Chris and Jenny followed them to the door to see them off, Chris took Martin aside and said:
"You have made Louisa a happy woman. Congratulations. "
Jenny hugged her friend and said, "Please hurry up and get married. Don't wait too long, I know you. Don't be fooled by Martin's charm, his old impatient self is not dead. "
When we walked through my door, Martin stopped, lifted me in his arms and said, "I'm practicing." I put up a little protest, but it was so sweet of him.
"Put me down. We're not young anymore. Save your strength for later."
"It's not about strength, stamina maybe. Trust me, I have had years of practice working on delicate body parts," he teased.
"And your patients were all anaesthetized, may I remind you, and you had the support of a surgical team."
"Yes, but only one person makes the precise cut and does the delicate procedure."
"Point taken. Just remember that I'm not your patient. I'm your very much alive fiancée."
Martin laid out glasses, the bottle of champagne he had brought me for Christmas and sparkling water for himself on a tray and placed it on the coffee table in front of the fireplace in the lounge. The only lights were from the small Christmas tree in the far corner of the room and a few scented candles scattered around. I hadn't done too much decorating because I was going to spend most of the holiday at Martin's.
We had just gotten settled, when he held out his arms and said, "Let's dance," pulling me up from the sofa. Martin had created a special playlist for us to celebrate our first Christmas together. We never dreamed our evening would have ended as it did. We fitted each other perfectly. With his hands around my waist, my head on his chest and his face buried in my hair, we slowly danced to At Last, a song we now called ours.
"It's time for our toast." Martin said after we had done a few turns around the room.
"Please share a glass of champagne with me. Tonight is special," I begged. I was still feeling wobbly and hoped the champagne would give me a little kick.
Uncharacteristically, he agreed. We wished for each other everlasting love and health and for James, happiness and success. James was not far from our thoughts, more so, how to break our news to him. Just for tonight, we put it on hold until tomorrow. Tonight belonged to us. After our toast, I reminded Martin that we had other gifts for each other. I knew that Martin had slipped my gift under the Christmas tree when he had arrived earlier. His was already under the tree with others for James, a few friends and neighbours.
"You first," Martin suggested.
I retrieved a box in the same wrapper as the one he had given me earlier from under the tree. Inside was an exquisitely crafted mother-of-pearl brooch inlaid with rubies, just like the one on my ring. I stared at the brooch in disbelief.
"This is a lot for one day. It must have cost a fortune. I …"
I couldn't believe Martin's generosity, he must have spent a fortune on jewellery for me. This was all turning out to be an unbelievable day. I had to lay my head on his shoulder until I recovered properly. When I did all I could say was, "Thank you, Martin."
Squeezing me, he said, "Only the best for you, Louisa. This might be the only gift I have ever given you. May I have my gift now?"
Glad for the diversion, I handed him his silver paper wrapped gift. I prayed he would like it. In comparison to his, he might think it was rubbish. I watched him as he opened it. Inside was a keepsake silver antique box with a lock of James's hair from his first haircut. There was also a silver mold of his feet taken when he was a week old. I had hoped to give them to Martin one day but when I accepted that it was never going to happen, I had put them away. Searching for something special, a gift for our eyes only, I had retrieved them from my "Treasure Chest" and hoped he would like them.
Martin was speechless. His face seemed to crumble. He pulled me on his lap, laid his head on mine for a long time until I felt something wet on my hair and realized he was crying. We stayed like that until he settled. I couldn't believe it, I know he was crying for missed opportunities with James.
"It's okay to show sadness Martin. Just remember James and me are now in your life. What's gone is gone, we have time to create new memories." I didn't know what else to say to comfort him.
Martin's tears scared me a little. I always thought of him as invincible. What an incredible day this was. What an incredible Martin I was discovering.
"Uhm ... I will spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you, Louisa. To share this with me, a precious bit of James as a baby …." He couldn't continue.
"It's okay Martin. These were always meant for you when you were ready for them."
Martin was not a Christmas person. When I had asked him to come back to Cornwall to have dinner with the Parsons's he had told me why. His parents couldn't be bothered to make the season special for him and preferred to spend it in some exotic warm place which meant that he was usually kept at school with a few other unlucky boys. Not having a family when he grew up, he preferred to spend it working to give his colleagues time with their family. The hospital had its usual Christmas parties, some of which he had to put in an appearance, but he began coming less and less and nobody dared say anything to him.
That night, as we were drifting off into a contented sleep, each grateful for the gifts of Christmas, Martin nuzzled my neck and whispered "I don't want to call it divine intervention, I'm not really a religious person, but whatever it was, I'm glad I overcame the obstacles that led to you." I clung to him and whispered back, "I remember how empty I felt when James left for London but I'm grateful he did and that he brought you into my life again."