Early the next morning, Jenny brought a change of clothes for Louisa and offered to drive with us to London. I wouldn't hear of it.

"That won't be necessary. We will manage, take rest stops and get home long before evening."

"Don't be silly Martin. Louisa is not well. What if she needs medical attention during the trip? Can you drive and attend to her?"

Jenny insisted and I was glad she had. It took Louisa some time to relax around Jenny. For the first hour or so, I drove and Jenny sat with Louisa in the back seat. Then Louisa got restive, and started mumbling the only two names she seemed to remember, Martin James. Jenny and I switched seats. Louisa calmed down and fell asleep in my arms, waking up when we stopped for a bathroom break. Jenny handled that and I shot her a grateful smile. We switched seats again after our break and Jenny was able to keep Louisa distracted by chatting about all manner of things that were of no interest to me.

When we arrived home, James was there to meet us and Louisa immediately called out, "Martin James." He hugged her and looked anxiously over at me. I returned his gaze with what I hoped was a reassuring smile. Louisa looked over James's shoulder at me and said, "I'm glad to be home."

Jenny helped me to get her settled, stayed with us a little, then James drove her over to her son. After a cup of tea, Louisa said she was tired and asked me where should she sleep. It pained me to see her a stranger in our home. I hoped it wouldn't be for long. I took her upstairs, showed her around our bedroom, tucked her in bed and left her.

Within a short time, I saw her coming down the stairs. "I can't sleep. May I stay with you?"

I made space for her on the sofa, made her comfortable and sat with her feet in my lap until she fell into a deep sleep.

I fixed lunch and brought it to her on a tray when she awoke. She took a few bites and said she wasn't hungry and asked me to tell her about us. I told her what had happened prior to her trip, including Margaret's home invasion; her conversation with Jenny while she was on the train; the problem with the train and how she ended up at the hospital. She didn't say much, just nodded her head, but I could see that she was trying to process the information. She dozed off every now and again but seemed relaxed now that she was home.

When it was time for bed, I wasn't sure if I would be intruding by being in the same bed with her since her memory was still deficient.

"Louisa, you're tired and it's time to go upstairs to bed. I know you don't remember things fully so I don't want to be in bed with you if it makes you uncomfortable."

"No, no. Don't leave me. I want to be with you," she quickly responding, clinging to me as I tried to extricate myself from her arms which she had flung around my shoulder in near panic.

I helped her with her ablutions, without invading her privacy, did mine and fell into bed with her. She seemed comfortable and turned to me when I reached over to switch off her bedside lamp and rested her hand on my cheek. "Thank you for looking after me."

"Oh, Louisa, I love you so much. Please remember soon." With that she cuddled up against me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. We slept soundly that night, me from exhaustion and she … I guess our bedroom felt better than the hospital.

The next morning I woke up to find Louisa waiting on me to wake up. I could see the worry on her face.

"I'm sorry. I still don't remember anything more than what you and the doctors have told me."

I quieted her by assuring her that worrying about it would not help, she would remember when she was ready to process the events leading up to it.

I called Dr. Milligan and swore him to secrecy. I didn't want Louisa to think I was invading her privacy. He wasn't surprised when I told him about Dr. Kent and the ensuing events.

"I'm not surprised Louisa choose to deal with it this way. She has to work out her issues herself. It will take some time, but she will. She'll come to see me when she's ready. Be patient Martin. From what you have described, her memory loss is short-term."

I knew Milligan was correct, but it was so frustrating, this thing called patience.

Our day was uneventful, beautiful really. Nothing mattered more than having Louisa safe and at home with me. Despite her wandering around the house, poking around in cupboards and even on her computer, nothing helped. I wanted to have her talk with Caroline or Isobel, but thought better of it. The stress of trying to remember might be too much. We fixed dinner together and I was amazed at how much she did without my prompting, almost as if she had retained her memory of such a mundane task which we always did together. As expected, she still didn't have much of an appetite. I didn't push, I knew she was preoccupied trying to remember.

As we sat together listening to music, she asked me to tell her about James. "I know he's our son, I see the resemblance, but I can't remember anything about him. I'm so sorry …"

It pained me to see Louisa struggling to remember James. I wished I could erase the horrible experience with Margaret which had led to her leaving for Portwenn. I realized she was looking at me expectantly with one of her trademark bright smiles, so I swallowed and got on with it.

I filled her in on as much as I knew. Early in, I remembered that I had the photo albums of him growing up which she had faithfully given me over the years, even when my response to each had been a scared, polite thank-you note.

She inspected the photos, occasionally wanting to know more about a particular one. When she saw Auntie Joan holding James as a baby, she looked at me then at Joan. "Are you related? You resemble each other."

That took us off on a whole other tangent about my family tree and my connection to Cornwall. There were no questions about Nathan and why I wasn't in any of the photos and for that I was grateful.

The next morning, Saturday, I was awakened by Louisa shaking me.

"Martin."

I jumped up in alarm fearing that something was wrong with her. "Louisa, are you feeling ill?

"No, I'm just sorry that I can't remember anything more."

Then the question came. "If James is our son, why aren't you in any of his baby photos?"

That morning we stayed in bed for a long time while I explained how I had met her when I came to interview for the GP position in the village, our on-and-off romance, our mutual jilting on our wedding day, her pregnancy and my leaving the village.

When I was finished, we were silent for a long time. "Did you always love me?" she asked searching my face for an answer.

"Always."

"Did I always love you?

"That's what you told me."

"Tell me about Nathan?"

I groaned inwardly. What the hell did I know about him that could not be found in his obit or from a casual chat with someone from the village. She took my hesitation as a no.

"You don't have to answer. You have helped me enough already."

Then I remembered that her memory of him was zero and shared the little I knew which seemed to satisfy her curiosity.

I told her about her lavender oil weekend baths and asked if she wanted me to set one for her, to which she said, yes. When it was ready, she asked me to stay with her.

I wanted to, but I couldn't. Not with her memory loss. That would be too invasive. I had agreed to share our bed with her, but to see her unclothed, defenseless, no. I agreed to a compromise. I would stay in the bedroom while she was in the en suite, that way we would be in calling distance of each other. I couldn't help thinking what else would we have to compromise on before her memory returned.

James and Rosie came over for dinner. Looking at us, we looked like a normal family having a meal. You would never guess that there was such turmoil in our household. Louisa was talking a little more and asking questions. When James and Rosie were leaving she asked James when he was going to get married to Rosie.

"When we finish our programme, Mum." She kissed him back, "Don't wait too long."

James and I looked at each other over her head. Where was this coming from?

As we did the night before, we spent some time on the sofa listening to music before going upstairs to bed. When we were settled, she asked in a small voice, "May I kiss you?"

I was shocked. That would be like kissing a stranger.

"Louisa, you don't have to rush anything. When your memory returns, we can resume that side of our relationship." I didn't want to force anything. What if a medical disaster happened and she never regained her memory. "Oh God," I groaned.

"I'm sorry for asking" she said in a small voice.

"No, that wasn't meant for you. I just don't want to do anything you or I will regret."

Before I knew it, she leaned over, held my face and gave me a long, slow kiss.

"Thanks for looking after me. I feel safe with you."

She crawled on top of me and deepened her kiss. I couldn't help it. I returned it with equal ardour. I'm not sure when we fell asleep but the next morning , without even opening my eyes, I felt her cuddled up against me as she normally would be.

"Sleepyhead," I murmured.

Turning around to face me she said, "I have something to tell you."

Fully awake now, I asked, "Are you feeling ill?" I thought our kiss last night might have brought back unpleasant memories.

"No, I'm well." Then she gave me the best news ever. "I remember now. I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused you," she said with a slight tremour in her voice.

"All that matters is that you are here safe with me Louisa …" I couldn't continue. To think I had brought this on her.

Still I had a few questions. "Why didn't you call me? I would have come."

"I kept thinking that we would eventually get there and I kept wanting to turn back and come back to you, then I lost track of time. As more people kept getting off the train, I began feeling ill. I wanted to call for help but I was embarrassed and everything was so noisy. Children were hungry, parents were angry, everybody was late, missing their connections, and I didn't want to add to the confusion. I thought that if I closed my eyes I would feel better, then I didn't remember anything after until this morning," her voice trailed off.

"Do you remember exactly when your memory came back, what made you remember," I asked gently.

She giggled, "It was your ears. I got up to go to the loo and when I came back into bed I couldn't stop staring at your beautiful ears. When James was growing up that was one thing about him that always reminded me of you – his ears. They don't jut out as much as yours, but he has your ears."

We both burst out laughing. After we had laid quietly for a time I announced, "Time to get up. I I'll fix your breakfast, you are not out of the woods as yet."

I decided to save the questioning for another time and went to take a shower. When I got back into the bedroom, Louisa was fast asleep. I pulled the cover over her and went downstairs.

Breakfast ready, I brought up coffee, toast, eggs and orange slices on a tray for both of us. Louisa slid from under the duvet with a big yawn and joined me on the sofa.

"This is such a treat, thank you Martin."

I gave her a peck on the cheek and watched as she ate hungrily.

" I am glad I have my memory back. I didn't mean to not call you and ... I left because I wanted to talk things over with Joan."

I couldn't believe what she said. Was she slipping back?

"Joan? Joan is dead," I said softly.

"Please don't think I'm silly. When I say I talk with Joan, what I do is imagine I'm talking with her and somehow all the wise things she would say comes to me. I have done this ever since she died. I was very afraid of Dr. Kent. I didn't know what I would do if you had a son and both became a part of your life. I was worried about me and James. I know Joan would help me to think things through."

"Is this what your leaving was all about? Louisa, there never has, never will be anybody but you. And by the way, she does not have a son, not for me or anybody else. Chris is still investigating the matter. Please believe me, she never has nor ever will be a threat to you or to our happiness."

We sat there not saying much until we finished eating, I went to the bathroom and while I was finishing up after brushing my teeth once again, Louisa joined me.

"I'll be out in a sec," I told her thinking she still wasn't feeling well.

"No, no. I wanted to make up for lost time, for all the worry."

"In the bathroom?" I wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"Yes the bathroom. Let me jog YOUR memory." And she proceeded to do just that.

Later, when things had calmed down, Louisa informed me that she had called Dr. Milligan and had scheduled a few sessions with him. She realized that her insecurities about herself and towards me were still an issue and she needed more professional help to put it behind her. So Milligan was right, again.

"I have a favour to ask you Martin."

"Whatever you want Louisa. Please tell me."

"I know I have my insecurities but … do you think I could get to know some of your friends, if it's not asking too much?"

Only then did it strike me that when Louisa was in London, she was without her circle of close friends. James was busy and although my schedule was lighter than it had been in years, most days I left the house for work or was holed up in my study working on the computer.

I gently caressed her beautiful, anxious face. "It's not too much Louisa. The next time Imperial has one of their fundraising events, I'll get us tickets. Jenny and Chris usually come up for a few of them."

The look on her face was precious. If this was all she wanted to feel comfortable and at home in London with me, it was a small price to pay.