TLOU Another Journey Chapter 5, a last of us fanfic

Jackson

Chapter Five

Sunday had been a real pisser for Tommy. He had a headache most of the day and felt like he was going to hurl all morning. Maria waited until dinner time to even tell him Ellie had come by in the morning looking for Joel. Tommy had been drunk, but he remembered big brother cutting in on his dance. He remembered that Joel walked Lil home. His hangover subdued his fury and he let it go for the night. In the morning he had some official duties to take care of, but a little before noon he headed up to the plant to have lunch with big brother.

They retreated to a private office reminiscing about the good beer they had on Saturday. It was an easy segway for Tommy. "You see Lil home alright?"

Joel looked up at Tommy chewing his pickle. "Yes I did."

"Ellie showed up at my place lookin for you Sunday morning. You spent the night at Lil's didn't you?"

"I was invited Tommy."

I bet you were. "Did you sleep with her?"

"I really don't see how its your business."

The smug look on his big brothers face was all the answer Tommy needed. "You son of a bitch. I asked you one thing, one fucking thing Joel; leave my friend alone. You tell me you're gonna then you go and stick your dick in her."

"Step off boy, it aint your business and you have a wife!"

"You can just leave Maria out of this. It aint about her its about you. I don't know what you think you're doing with Lil, but I'm puttin a stop to it right now. You need to back the hell off and I mean now."

He had expected Tommy to get pissed when he figured it out. "Lily and I like each other Tommy, you're just gonna have to get over it like I been tellin you."

Tommy shook his head. "No, not you. Anyone else in this godamn town, but not you!"

"It aint your choice."

"It is when I say it is."

"You need to let Lily go."

"So she can go runnin to you? I don't think so."

"It aint your choice," big brother repeated.

No, it wasn't his choice, but in this case Tommy was sure his friend was making a very bad, very under informed choice. He knew just how to remedy that. "You just couldn't leave her alone could ya?"

"I didn't do it to spite you little brother. Me and Lily got something between us, there's chemistry at work."

"I didn't ask to hear about the fuck she threw ya," he snarled.

"I'm trying to say things just happened when we got to know each other a little bit better. I didn't go after her to piss you off. I aim to treat Lily right, you got nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, well we just see about that." Tommy got up and walked out. He had things to do.

Joel sighed and drank some of his tea. Little brother was bent now, but he'd get over it eventually. Joel was sure that given enough time he and Lily would have something great, Tommy would see that and see what an asshole he was being. In a few weeks it would all be water under the bridge. He finished his lunch and went back to work not worrying about Tommy.

He bide his time at the town hall waiting for Lil's kids to leave for the day. When he was pretty sure they were gone Tommy head over to Lil's. He knocked on her back door, she was in the kitchen figuring out what she wanted for dinner. She opened the door for him. "Lil, I gotta talk to you."

"Is this about Joel?"

"Yeah."

"Are you going to yell at me?"

"No, not this time Lil." He stepped past her into the kitchen. "Why don't you go ahead and bust out the booze. I got something I need to tell you."

Tommy didn't look half as angry as he looked miserable. "What the hell is going on Tommy?" He went to the table and sat down. Lily closed the door and went to the cupboard to get him some booze. Something is wrong , really wrong. "Is Joel alright?"

"He aint dead if that's what you're frettin." Tommy waited as she poured him a short glass of whiskey. He picked it up and downed half of it right off.

"Then why do you look like he just died? Jesus Tommy what is it?"

"Sit down Lil." She took the seat beside him at the little round table. "I heard about you and Joel."

"There's nothing wrong with it." She poured a drink for herself.

"My brother is a dangerous man."

Lily poured a drink. "We're all a little dangerous aren't we?"

"Some of us more then others." He sipped again and studied Lily's face in the afternoon sunlight filling the kitchen.

"You got something to say, say it."

"Alright Lil, we'll do it your way. They're lieing to you, my brother and Ellie."

"What does Ellie have to lie about?"

It was time to burst the bubble, to share Joel's secret with another. "Ellie is infected and she's immune."

"What? What kind of horse shit-"

"It aint a burn scar she's covering up on her arm, its the spot where she got bit."

"I don't believe you."

"Last year, he and Ellie came through here looking for the fireflies. See back in Boston Marlene hired Joel and his woman Tess to smuggle Ellie out of the city. They were supposed to meet up with some of Marlene's buddies and they was all gonna skin out to Salt Lake City, but when they got to the rendezvous point the fireflies that were supposed to take Ellie were all dead. Tess got bit on the way there, she laid down her life so Joel and Ellie could get away."

There was a huge lump in Lily's throat now. "How do you... even know that?"

"Joel told me, and that aint all of it either Lil"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" she picked up her glass and downed a shot.

"My brother brought Ellie here thinkin I'd take her to Marlene, but the two of em went off together before they even stepped foot in town. He took em all the way to Salt Lake City only to find out Marlene's firefly doctors were gonna cut up Ellie's brain and study it. They had her under when Joel saved her. He killed a lot of fireflies gettin to her. He killed Marlene too."

"No way Tommy..." she knew he was telling the truth, Lily could tell when Tommy was lieing. He finished his glass and poured himself another as she stared at him.

"Joel thinks he mighta killed anybody that might come after Ellie. They're here 'cause its a quiet place to be; remote and hard to find."

"Ellie...is infected?"

"She got bit back in Boston over a year ago."

"That's just not possible."

Tommy lifted his glass. "Ellie is immune."

The faces of fireflies she knew in Boston seemed to bloom and fade in her minds eye, she remembered Marlene. "If Ellie is immune then she is the key to finding a vaccine."

"That's what the fireflies thought, now they're all dead at my own brother's hands. He lied to Ellie, told her she was one of dozens of immune and they had given up looking for a cure. He told her what to keep quiet about and she has."

"Tommy..." she let the weight of it all sink in. "No, not Ellie, not..."

"I can't let you do this Lil. You need to quit my brother. He aint good for you."

Lily picked up her drink and downed another shot, she let it burn its way down. "He killed Marlene are you fucking serious?" she hung her head and resisted the urge to cry. She might not have agreed with some of the ways Marlene did things, but she was a good leader and a friend. I'm fucking the guy that killed her? How can that even be?

"He shot her down."

"Fucking Marlene?" she looked up at him.

"Fuckin Marlene," he sighed and sipped some booze.

She shook her head, trying to process it all at once. "How long have you known Tommy?"

"He told me about Salt Lake just a little while ago."

"What about Ellie? Have you known she's...infected this whole time?"

"I tried to warn you away from them Lil I tried! But you don't listen to me, you don't listen to Maria and you go and cozy right on up to em! You fucked the guy that killed our friend Lil!"

"Stop it!" Lily shrieked getting to her feet. Her heart was racing, her stomach was a tight little ball.

Tommy took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "I didn't want to have to tell you this. I was hoping you'd never have to know. I'm telling ya now 'cause you need to know just who you're sleeping next to. I love my brother I do, but he is a liar and he is a killer and I am damn worried about you Lil."

"He wouldn't," she started and stopped. Lily couldn't know what Joel would or wouldn't do now, especially if he was protecting Ellie.

"You need to quit my brother," Tommy finished his drink and got up. His business here was finished and Lil needed some time to think. "Maria is makin dinner, you wanna come eat with us?"

"No."

"You gonna be alright Lil? I can hang out if you need me."

"Go home Tommy."

He pushed his chair in. "Alright." He backed off to give Lily her space. "I'm gonna have Maria come by tomorrow and check on ya."

"I'll see her then." She turned away from Tommy, she didn't want to see him go. She wanted to hit him and tell him what a jerk he was and cry on his shoulder. Lily couldn't do that this time, Joel was his brother and Tommy tried to stop her. Lily was going to have to deal with this all on her own.

Lily paced in her kitchen for a while. She thought about her killer boyfriend and his girl. She thought about what Ellie's immunity meant to science, she thought about the dead. Finally Lily went out; she had to talk to Ellie, she had to see for herself.

Joel was in the kitchen mixing noodles and sauce so Ellie went to the door. "Hey Lily," she saw the weird look on her teacher's face. Something was wrong. Ellie stepped back as Lily came in. "What is it?"

"Ellie," the words seemed to die on her lips. "Let me see your arm."

"My arm?" Ellie backed up another step.

"Your burn scar, let me see it."

"But... its really bad."

She stayed as calm as she could. "Let me see the scar on your arm now Ellie."

Joel had heard Lily's voice so he came out into the dining room just in time to hear her ask. Joel felt cold fingers run down his spine. "Ellie?" The girls looked at him, Ellie looked afraid, Lily looked upset. "What's going on?"

"Tommy told me Ellie is infected."

"It's not like that, I can explained!" Ellie panicked.

His heart fell into his stomach. "Tommy did what?"

"I'm not infected I'm immune," Ellie was on the verge of tears. She was sure Lily didn't like her anymore. "I'm immune, lots of people are immune, right Joel?"

"Ellie, get on up to your room. I need to talk to Lily."

The adults were staring each other down. Ellie backpedaled toward the stairs. "Lily," her teacher looked at her. "Please don't hate me."

"I don't Ellie." Her student nodded and ran upstairs with tears in her eyes. Lily heard the door slam and went to meet Joel in the living room.

"Tommy told you about Ellie?" Joel rubbed his chin through his beard.

"He told me a lot more then that. He told me you killed Marlene."

Joel stepped up to her and made his case. "I didn't have a choice. I was protecting Ellie. They were gonna kill her, cut up her brain and study it."

Reality was horrific sometimes. "What makes her immune isn't in her brain it's in her blood."

"Well that aint the way your little firefly buddies were playing it."

"How many of them did you kill Joel? How many of my friends did you fucking kill?" She couldn't help it, she couldn't hold back anymore. She shoved Joel away as hot tears sprang into her eyes.

"I did what I had to do to keep Ellie alive, same godamn thing I've been doing since we left Boston."

"Marlene?"

"She would have come lookin for Ellie. I had to Lily."

For a long time she just stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I brought Ellie here to start a new life. That's the past."

"She is immune to a plague that has killed billions of people Joel. You don't just put something like that in the past!"

"What would you have me do Lily? Give her to somebody else to dissect?"

"I don't know what kind of quacks Marlene was working with, but they were going about it all wrong."

"No shit," he was scared to lose Lily and ready to punch Tommy in the face. "Look Lily, I would have told you about all this when the time was right."

Lily shook her head. "Which story would you have given me? The bullshit one you gave Ellie?"

He had tried not to think about it. "I woulda told you the truth."

"When?"

It was time to sack up and tell the truth. "When I knew you loved me and Ellie and you wanted to be with us."

Her heart was breaking. "You mean when you had me trapped."

"I don't want to trap you Lily, I want to love you."

A hysterical laugh bubbled out. "Love? What the fuck do you know about love?"

"I love Ellie. I love Tommy too even though I wanna beat the shit outta him right about now. He came to see me today, told me to back off, told me he was puttin a stop to you and me. I guess this is what he meant."

"Don't you blame Tommy for this. The only thing he did wrong was not tell me this shit sooner!"

"He had no business telling you anything!" Joel argued back.

"I've been tutoring Ellie for months, I fucked you!" Lily felt the first tremble of rage. "Ellie being immune doesn't make her any less contagious you ignorant fucking hick!"

His sweetheart looked at him with murder in her eyes, Lily was shaking. "Ellie aint dangerous."

"I should shoot you, I should just fucking shoot you!" She squeezed her eyes shut to bring herself under control. The sight of him was enough to make her want to hit him.

Joel saw the tears roll down Lily's cheeks. Godamnit. "Lily." He went to her and tried to take her in his arms. Lily pushed away from him violently.

"Don't touch me! Don't you fucking touch me!"

Things were going from bad to worse fast. "You're pissed, I get it, but lets just calm down and talk about this Lily."

"If you put your hands on me again I will kill you. This," she pointed at the two of them in quick succession. "It's over."

"Come on Lily you don't mean that."

"I do mean it Joel. Fuck you, you fucking asshole!"

A break up was only half the problem. As Lily turned to go Joel hurried to get between her and the door. "Wait a minute Lily I aint done with you yet."

"Get the fuck out of my way Joel. I will tear your head off."

"What are you gonna do now that you know about Ellie?"

"Are you going to kill me too?"

"I don't wanna do that." He stared into Lily's eyes seeing the hurt there. It made him hate himself a little more. "I reckon Tommy dropped by on you right after Ellie left for the day. You've had some time to think about things and you've got a mighty clever brain Lily. I'll ask you again, what are you gonna do?"

It was frustrating to even consider Joel was thinking more clearly then she was right now. "I'm going to take samples of Ellie's blood to a doctor I know back east. Richard is still working on a vaccine."

His heart leapt into his throat at the idea of Lily striking out alone to head cross country. "Back east where?"

"Fuck you."

"Where?"

"New York, the lakes region."

"Like hell you're going all the way there."

"You have no fucking say in what I do."

Joel stepped closer to Lily. "It's up to me what goes on with Ellie and I sure as hell aint lettin her give you blood so you can run off on some damn fools errand and get yourself killed!"

"You unbelievably selfish bastard! I'm talking about the cure for mankind!"

"You're talking about committin suicide!"

"I can take care of myself!"

"I aint lettin you go out there Lily!"

"It isn't up to you. If you wont let me take samples to Richard I'll go get him and bring him here."

"No," Joel stood his ground. "Aint nobody pokin and proddin Ellie no more."

The rage was dissipating leaving Lily feeling queasy. "You cant decide that."

"She is a fifteen year old girl and I'm responsible for her and I did decide that."

She couldn't believe it, Lily shook her head in disbelief. "You know, you're exactly the person Tommy said you were."

"I am protecting Ellie and I am trying to protect you too Lily."

"Get out of my way Joel."

The broken couple stared at each other for a long moment. Finally Joel stepped back, sighing he opened the door for Lily. She went out without another word, he watched her go down the drive and onto the sidewalk. Lily didn't look back, Joel hung his head and closed the door. When he turned around again Ellie was half way down the stairs staring at him. There were tear tracks down her puffy, red cheeks. "Ellie?" his heart broke all over again.

Ellie had heard everything, the vent in her room carried their argument right up to her. "Is it true? Did you kill Marlene?"

Shit. "I did what I had to do Ellie."

"Lieing to me is what you had to do?"

"They were going to kill you. I wasn't going to let it happen. I wasn't going to lose you too."

"There are no other immune people are there?"

"I don't know."

She understood how he felt about her, about Sara. It made her cry more. "Please don't kill Lily."

"Ellie," he moved to the bottom of the stairs and reached a hand out to her. "I aint gonna hurt Lily." She took his hand and he led her down to the couch.

"You guys totally broke up," she sniffled as they sat down together. "Lily hates us now and its all my fault."

"Aint nothin your fault Ellie. Lily don't hate nobody she's just mad. We'll give her a couple of days to cool off, I'll go talk to her my next day off and smooth things over."

"Is she right about my blood? I'll give her some blood if she wants."

"No you wont. You do that and she's gonna light on outta here for parts east. Lily needs to keep her ass right here."

Ellie didn't want Lily going anywhere. "But if she knows someone still looking for a cure..."

"We're done with that Ellie and that's my final word."

In a way she was grateful. She was happy here with Joel, alive and happy. She wiped the tears off her face. "I bet you're pretty mad at Uncle Tommy."

Joel chuckled. His little girl had no idea. Joel's brother had betrayed his trust to try and bust up what he had going with Lily. "He's at the top of my shit list alright."

"Are you gonna...kick his ass?"

"I don't know about that, but I aim to give him a mighty stern talking too."

"Why is Uncle Tommy trying to sabotage you and Lily?"

He let out a tired sigh. "I reckon he thinks I might be bad for her."

"But you're not are you?"

"Trying not to be."

"Do you love her?"

"It's a little soon for all of that Ellie."

"Think she'll take you back?"

"I'll just crawl on over there on my hands and knees and kiss her feet and beg her forgiveness. That what you wanna hear?"

It sounded like a trick question. "Do you think it will work?"

I shoulda let Lily shoot me. "Don't you worry about it. Lily just needs some time. Now you get yourself together and come eat. Your dinner is getting cold."

"Okay." She watched him go back into the kitchen. She was heartsick over Marlene and worried about Lily. Part of her hoped Joel would punch Uncle Tommy in the nose. "It's gonna be okay," she soother herself. Ellie got up to go have dinner with her dad.

Joel spent the evening talking to and reassuring Ellie. He told her he wanted her to take a few days off from school, he wanted them both out of Lily's crosshairs for a while. The girl protest, but Joel put his foot down and kept it there. Ellie was sleeping in when he left for the plant. She heard Joel leave and then drifted back down into sleep for a while. By eight Ellie was up, by nine she was walking to Lily's with finished homework in her backpack.

When she arrived Ellie saw the garage door open, the truck inside had its hood up and Lily was doing something under there. "Uh, hello? Lily?"

Lily looked up at Ellie surprised to see her. "Ellie?"

"Is it still okay for me to come here?"

"Of course it is." Lily set the socket wrench down and went to Ellie in the short drive.

"I...I don't want you to be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you Ellie."

She reached down and untied the bandana covering her bite scar. Ellie offered her arm to her teacher. "Its over a year old."

She looked from the infectious bite scar to the poor kid bearing it. "Oh Ellie," Lily hugged her hard.

Ellie felt like crying again. "Is it true my blood has the cure in it?"

Lily let Ellie go and looked her in the eye. "I think so."

"You really know someone that could find the cure using my blood?"

"If anyone can do it Richard can."

"But he's all the way in New York, right?"

Lily suddenly realized "You heard me fighting with Joel?"

"I wasn't trying to eavesdrop I just," Ellie sighed and covered her scar again. "You guys got kinda loud."

"I'm sorry that you heard that."

"He was protecting me," Ellie dropped her eyes. "I understand that. I'm still alive because of what he did, I'm safe because of him. If it weren't for Joel my brain would be in a Petri dish somewhere."

"He did the right thing for you Ellie."

"I can forgive him, can't you?"

Lily shook her head. "It's not the same."

"Marlene was my friend too. She knew my mom." Ellie looked up at her teacher.

"Forget about it Ellie, please. I'm done with Joel."

She didn't want to push, Joel said Lily needed some time. "So what about that doctor?"

"I'll go get Richard and his equipment and bring him back here."

It was what Joel had warned Ellie about. "You can't leave Lily!"

"I'll be gone a couple of weeks tops. I'll leave you with work to do."

"No, you can't go out there!"

"My truck is running fine."

"It doesn't matter. The hunters will kill you! They'll..." Ellie couldn't spit it out.

Lily put a hand on Ellie's shoulder. "Calm down Ellie, you don't have anything to worry about. The outside world is my world. This town here, its just fluff."

I have to tell Joel. "When are you leaving?"

"In the morning."

"You shouldn't do it, please don't do it Lily."

"I have to. Trust me Ellie, it will be alright."

Ellie felt responsible for sending another friend to slaughter. She turned away from Lily and started running. She heard Lily call after her, but Ellie didn't stop. She ran all the way back to Uncle Tommy's, he wasn't there but Maria was. The girl told Maria everything; the fight the adults had last night, Lily getting ready to leave town.

Maria and Tommy had talked about his big brother and the girl last night. Maria got pissed hearing Lily was ready to run. She went for her radio. "Tommy you got your ears on?"

Tommy freed his walkie for a chat with the wife. "What you need babe?"

"Get your godamn ass home now!"

Tommy hurried home, Ellie was waiting in the living room with Maria. The girl repeated everything for Tommy. "Godamnit," he grumbled.

"Why did you tell her Uncle Tommy? Why couldn't you just wait and let Joel do it?"

"Whose to say he woulda?" Tommy was defensive, both ladies looked pissed at him.

"Joel did. He said he would have told her when he was sure she loved us."

His eyebrow twitched. "You're too young to understand some things Ellie."

"Fuck that! I'm not just some stupid kid."

"I didn't say you were. I'm saying grown up relationships is complicated that's all."

Maria pointed at her husband. "You need to fix this Tommy. If Lily leaves she might not make it back again and we cannot afford to lose her."

"I aint lettin Lil go nowhere." Tommy got up. "Alright, I'll go talk some sense into her head."

"I'm going with you," Ellie stood too.

"Ellie," Tommy nearly groaned. "You just sit tight."

"She's leaving because of me. I'm not going to sit here and do nothing."

He wasn't going to win this battle. "Fine, lets go."

Lily had pulled the snap on cover off the back of the truck, pieces of chain link fence lay behind it in the drive. "Lil?" Tommy called to the woman rooting through the toolbox in the back of the truck.

Lily looked up and saw Tommy and Ellie. Oh christ here we go. "What's up Tommy?"

Tommy went to the truck and rested an arm on back quarter panel. "I hear you think you're takin a ride."

"I'm going to go get Richard."

"I can't let you do that Lil."

"I don't need your permission Tommy."

"It wont do you any good. My brother already said no doctors."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "We can get him to change his mind once Richard is here."

"It aint gonna happen Lil."

Ellie spoke up. "What would this Richard guy do to me?"

"Take blood samples." Lily stood and wiped her hands off on her shorts.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

"Then take me with you."

"It isn't safe Ellie."

Tommy cut in "Joel aint lettin you go nowhere."

"Joel can just fucking come with us," Ellie argued back.

"No, no no no," Lily hopped out of the back of the truck.

"Why not? It's what makes the most sense. We'll go to New York and your guy can do his tests and we'll come back with a vaccine."

"No Ellie," Lily tried to calm the girl.

"You can't tell me no. It's my blood he needs and I'm telling you the only way he's getting it is if you take me to him."

Tommy almost laughed. "Joel aint gonna go for that."

Ellie stared down her teacher. "I mean it Lily. If you just leave us, I swear I wont be here when you get back."

Her student was smart, Ellie had the upper hand. "Ellie this is important."

"Yeah it is."

Traveling across country with Joel and Ellie wasn't what Lily had in mind. "Tommy is right, Joel would never agree to it."

"I'm not giving either of you a choice," Ellie frowned at the adults.

"We'll just see about this happy horse shit." Tommy had enough. He whipped out his walkie and changed channels to contact the plant. "Somebody got their ears on over there?"

"That you Tommy?" Ned came back.

"Yup, hey Ned can you get my brother on the line for me. I need a word with him."

"Tommy," Lily warned.

A minute later big brothers voice came over the air. "What do you want Tommy?" Joel was short with him.

"I thought you'd wanna know your girls is fixin to pack up and head to New York. I'm over to Lil's right now. She's gettin her truck ready and Ellie is threatening to run away if she leaves here in the morning."

Godamnit. "You just sit on them two. I'm on my way." He dropped the mic and got his ass moving.

Lily glared at Tommy. "You're an asshole."

Tommy shrugged. "Oh well."

"I do not want that fucker here."

"That's too bad Lil. You girls aint gettin away with this bullshit."

"I've said everything I have to say." Ellie crossed her arms in defiance.

Lily started for the house. She was going to send Kyle home. He didn't need to be here for what was to come. Damnit Tommy you ass.

Joel got back to town and over to Lily's as fast as he could. Sure enough it looked like she was readying the truck in the garage. Ellie, Tommy and Lily were out in the drive when he arrived. Lily looked away from him at once, but Tommy came over to meet him. "You," Joel couldn't help himself. "I outta whip the skin right off of you boy."

"You got bigger troubles then me big brother. Ya see, Lil wants to go get that doctor friend of hers."

"I already told you no Lily," he over spoke Tommy.

"I'm going after Richard," she stated flatly.

Ellie piped in. "If you leave without me I'll run away."

"The hell you will!" Joel turned his attention to his girl.

"I'm going to New York with Lily and neither one of you can stop me! You'll just have to come with us Joel."

"Aint nobody going nowhere! " His temper flared. "Ellie, get your ass home and wait for me there like I told you to last night!"

"No."

"Ellie!"

"Fuck this! I'm going with Lily!"

"No you are not!"

Ellie shook her head. "It's the only way to do this. I'm the one that's immune and if a doctor can use my blood to find a cure-"

"You don't know it can be done, neither one of you!"

"We have to try!"

"That is enough Ellie!"

Lily hated to see him yell at the girl. "Get off her case Joel."

"You put these fuckin ideas in her head," he pointed a finger at Lily.

"I was going to bring Richard here not take her to him."

"I already told you no woman!"

"You can't horde the cure for mankind Joel!" Lily shot back.

"She's a kid, my kid!"

Ellie loathed to see Joel and Lily at each other like this. That it was over her just made it so much worse. "Stop it, both of you!" She turned to Joel. "After everything we've been through, after the things we've done, it can't end this way Joel. You lied to me about the fireflies. You told me nobody was looking for a cure anymore. I didn't believe you, but I wanted to so I tried. Now, knowing that there's someone still trying to save us... I have to help. I have to be a part of that Joel."

His stomach tightened. "Ellie no."

She stood her ground, she had to. "I'm going to New York with Lily and if either of you don't play it my way, I'll just disappear."

"Ellie," she was making him worried.

"Fine, I'll take you," Lily stepped up.

"The hell you will," Joel took a protective step toward Ellie.

Ellie got between Joel and Lily. "This is happening. If you want to help, come with us. You can keep me safe."

This was way more than what Tommy bargained for when he let the cat out of the bag. "It's dangerous out there," he reminded them all.

"We aint doin this Ellie."

"Yes we are. Lily is right, you cant hoard the cure. I wont let you."

Just when life was the best it had been in years, the bottom fell out and the landing was mighty hard. "So this is how its gonna play out huh? After everything I've done for you, you would just walk away from me?"

"Don't make me," Ellie begged for understanding.

Joel looked up at Lily, she looked miserable. "This truck runnin?"

"No way Joel," Tommy butt in.

"Shut up Tommy," he snapped back at little brother.

"Yes." She didn't want to do this, but Lily knew she had to.

"How far we talkin between here and there?"

"About two thousand miles, give or take a few."

Joel looked over at the Silverado that had been new the year before the world turned to shit. "Will this thing make it that far?"

"You can't be serious," Tommy was more then nervous.

"There and probably back again," Lily answered.

Tommy wouldn't be ignored. "Joel I brought you down here to talk some sense into these girls not to join em!"

"What do you want me to do Tommy? Leave em tied to a chair until their urge to save humanity passes?"

"If that's what it takes."

"I wouldn't even have to be worrying about this if you had kept your godamn mouth shut. You just couldn't stand to see me with Lily, you jealous little bitch."

"I told you Lil was off limits from day one."

"It wasn't your place to."

Lily grabbed Tommy by the back of his shirt and pulled him back a step her way. "Stop it. Tommy was looking out for me. Trying to save me from you."

"You didn't need savin. I never meant you any harm Lily."

She couldn't help it, the wound was still a fresh one. Under her breath Lily mumbled "Is that what you told Marlene?"

"I wasn't intimate with Marlene," he passed back just as coolly.

"That's enough," Tommy didn't want to hear about his brother fucking Lil anymore then him shooting Marlene in the head.

He wasn't done with Tommy. "Is this what you meant about puttin an end to me and Lily, huh Tommy? You figured if you told her about Ellie's condition and that I'm some crazy murdering bastard she'd just drop me like a bad habit?"

"Yeah that's about right." Tommy straightened.

"You are unbelievable. Wake up little brother, Lily aint your woman!"

"She's my friend."

Lily got between them. "We're not doing this. I will not allow you two fucktards to brawl on my lawn."

Joel looked down at Lily. "I'm gonna take Ellie home. I'll come back over later to look at the truck then we'll talk about drivin to New York," he sneered the name.

Tommy could barely believe his ears. His Lil meant to leave here with his brother and his girl. "No fuckin way."

"Tommy!" Joel had reached his limit with his baby brother. He didn't care if Lily would get mad, she was already anyway so Joel said fuck it and let his fist fly. He clocked his brother in the jaw and sent him staggering back into the truck.

"Joel!" Lily latched onto one of his arms.

He stepped back bringing Lily with him. "I'd appreciate it if you'd keep Ellie out of the way." He peeled her off and shoved her into Ellie just as Tommy charged foreword. Tommy caught him around the middle and the two crashed down into the neatly trimmed grass. They wrestled around a bit, but Joel came out on top. "It's payback time little brother." He let the punches rain down.

Lily wasn't going to just stand there and watch Tommy get his ass handed to him. She jumped on Joel's back hooking an arm around his throat. "Get off of him!"

"Holy shit..." Ellie backed up a step.

"Damnit Lily," Joel reached for her. Suddenly his face exploded in pain. Tommy had got him in the nose good, he tasted blood already. Furious he stood bringing Lily up with him. He twisted out of her hold and took her by the arms. "I said stay with Ellie!" He pushed Lily and turned to face his brother.

"Stay outtta it Lil I got this," Tommy got to his feet and glared at Joel. "Come on mother fucker lets dance."

"If that's the way you want it." Joel stepped up and the fists started flying.

Lily went to step in again and Ellie grabbed her. "Are you kidding me? Don't get in the middle of that!"

"Stop it!" Lily shouted at the brawling men.

They ignored her and went on exchanging blows. Years of pent up anger, frustration and disappointment were channeled into every punch. Their time together, their time apart, all of the painful memories in between. Joel punched Tommy hard in the jaw and he spit out molar at Ellie's feet.

"Jesus Christ Joel!"

Lily ran to the gate and grabbed the hose. She set the nozzle on jet and turned it on the brothers soaking them both. "I said knock it off!"

The freezing water took the fight out of both of them pretty quick. "Cut it out Lil!"

She hit Tommy in the head with the spray. "You done?"

"Yes, I'm done! Turn it off already!"

She dropped the hose and looked at the brothers dripping blood and water all over her lawn. "You fucking assholes."

Joel shook water from his hands. "I'll be back later Lily. Come on Ellie lets go. Tommy, you too."

"Fuck you man." Tommy shook like a dog fresh out of the water.

"I'll get you cleaned up Tommy," Lily sighed.

"No you wont, he's got a wife at home to nurse his wounds." Joel looked from Lily to Tommy. "I said lets go."

He was tired and sore and his face hurt. He wanted Maria to baby him some. "You don't even think about going nowhere Lil." Tommy hobbled his brothers way. "Especially not with this fuckin guy." He started down the drive and Ellie began to follow.

Joel took a long look at Lily. "I'll be back in a little while to look over the truck."

"Fuck off Joel, you're bleeding on my lawn."

"Yeah well I'm bleedin for you and if you aim to drag Ellie all the way across the godamn country then I reckon I'll probably bleed a little more for you along the way."

"I don't need you to bleed for me."

"I don't give a shit what you think you need. I will protect you Lily." Joel turned and started after his kin. His head was pounding and his mouth tasted like iron. He caught up to his troublesome girl. "Let's go."

Lily watched the dysfunctional family walk down the street and turn the corner. "Fucking rednecks."

He dropped his little brother off and left before Maria got a look at him. Joel took Ellie home; they headed in and he headed for the stairs. "You glue your ass to that couch young lady. I'll deal with you when I get dry." He took the stairs by two and went up to change his clothes.

Ellie sat in the living room waiting to be in trouble and rehearsing her answers. Joel came down cleaned up and in dry clothes. There was a Band-Aid covering a cut under his left eye. "Are you okay?"

"I'll manage." It was barely noon but he went for a drink anyway.

"You beat the hell out of uncle Tommy. He lost a tooth and everything."

"He aint that badly busted up." Joel poured a drink. "I went easy on that son of a bitch if you ask me."

"Maria is going to freak out."

"Maria needs to put Tommy on a much shorter leash." He downed some soothing whiskey. "I thought I told you to stay the hell home today."

Here we go. "If I hadn't gone there today none of us would have even known she was going anywhere. Lily was going to leave tomorrow morning."

The idea was frightening. "And you got the bright fuckin idea to go with her?"

Joel rarely dropped f bombs on her. He was seriously pissed. "If I can do something to help beat this shit and give the human race a second chance I have to do it Joel."

"That kinda thinking almost got you killed." He downed another shot. "After everything we went through to survive out there, after all the shit you've seen, you just wanna give up the good life and go right back out into that shit?!"

"We have a truck," she tried.

"We had a truck when we left Bill's too."

"We wont get caught in an ambush this time, we'll be careful."

He drank deep and swallowed hard. "It aint enough I gotta worry about you, ya'all go and throw Lily in there too! This could damn well be a suicide mission!"

She stared at him for a long moment. "I have to do this Joel."

"Right, of course you do." He slammed the rest of this drink. In a fit of fury he threw the glass against the wall. It shattered into pieces that looked like rock candy. "Godamnit!"

Ellie hung her head and waited. Joel would calm down in a bit and he'd see she was right. "Its the right thing to do."

It took him a good while to calm down. Ellie was patient with his tirade and strong in her beliefs going east was the right thing to do. Joel had a second drink, cleaned up the glass and then made Ellie something to eat. Once he had her settled in Joel walked over to Lily's. He braced himself as he made his way up the walk to the gate. He passed through into the backyard and went to the back door. "Lily?" he called stepping into her kitchen.

There were two boxes on the table that Lily had started packing with supplies. A worn looking road atlas was accompanied by equally beaten looking notebooks also lay on the table. Joel heard the faint sound of music coming from up in Lily's room. He went to the stairs and called up to her. "Lily?"

Lily hit pause and listened. "Joel?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be down in a second." Lily left the pile of clothes on her bed and went to the stairs. Joel was at the bottom waiting for her. "I didn't hear you come in."

"I yelled for you." Lily came down the stairs and stopped when they were eye to eye.

His eye was turning black and there was a band aid under it. His top lip was bruised on the right side too. "It looks like you got jobbed over pretty good."

"I imagine Tommy looks about the same."

"Your both idiots."

Joel smiled. "He told me this aint the first time he' got punched in the face over you."

"You didn't have to hurt him."

"And he didn't need to come between us the way he did."

"Tommy did what he did to protect me and I'm glad he did."

She was lieing and he knew it. "Two nights ago we lay up in my bed smokin a joint and plannin a picnic. We were happy. You can't just turn that off like you're throwing a light switch Lily."

"Two nights ago I didn't know you killed my friend."

Clearly Lily still needed some time. He shook his head. "Alright then, I reckon I'll go give the truck the once over. Anything in particular I need to know about it?"

"Other then we'll need to be scrounging up a lot of gas?"

"How many miles to the gallon does it get?"

"Fifteen or sixteen."

"That aint good. How much gas can we take with us?"

Lily had given it some thought. "Probably enough to get us to Iowa. I've got a stash of supplies, including gas, about thirty miles south east of Souix Falls."

"A secret stash huh?"

"I have supplies hidden in safe houses in a few places between here and there."

"I bet you got our route all drawn up, don't you."

She stepped past him and started for the kitchen. "I never wanted to take Ellie with me. You know that."

"No, you wanted to run off by your damn self."

"It's my choice."

"You really gotta get away from me that bad? You gonna pull up roots and trek across the country like a godamn gypsy?"

"Richard needs to know about Ellie's immunity."

They stopped in front of the table. "Who the hell is Richard."

"He's a genius, a doctor I know working to find a vaccine."

A vaccine Marlene haunted him. "How do you know this guy?"

"I've known Richard since near the beginning of the end. Helped him and the group set up a safe base. Last time I was there was right before I headed back here."

"He's an old friend?"

"Yes I've fucked him if that's what your fishing for," Lily hope it stung.

His right eye twitched. "You got something goin with Richard the doctor?"

"Not presently."

Her eyes were black, unforgiving. "You expect me to trust him?"

"He's brilliant." She turned away from Joel "Do you want to go over our route or look at the truck first?"

Joel stepped up close enough behind her to smell the flowers in her hair. "What I feel for you hasn't changed Lily. Keep that in mind." He brushed past her and went out to look at the truck.

Lily watched him through the window. He went to her truck and popped the hood. It was some consolation to know that she had hurt him back, she was just sorry Ellie had to be at the center of it all. The time she had spent with the Boston fireflies had made her care for so many of them. Lily hadn't talked to Marlene in three years, but she and Tommy never stayed distant for more then two years at a time. Knowing Joel ended their friends, it was more then she could forgive. She understood his reasons, but it was still his finger on the trigger. Lily looked down at her atlas and tried not to think about two nights ago. It wasn't easy.

The Silverado was in good running condition. It had a double cab and a standard box. It was that brownstone color, it could blend in to woods or rock. The chain link attached to bolt plates outside the windows; it was great protection from infected, but a bullet could still find its way through. There were two toolboxes bolted to the bed, one for tools and one gear. The only real problem was the headlights. One was completely smashed out and the other only worked on low. Overall Joel was pretty impressed with Lily's transportation. When he was satisfied he closed the hood and went back inside.

Lily had moved the boxes off the table. The atlas was laid open showing Wyoming. There was a bottle of whiskey and two short glasses on the table. Lily was finishing her dishes, she turned around drying her hands on a faded kitchen towel and looked at Joel. "Well?"

"It's a nice truck."

"It will make the trip." She threw the towel on the counter. "I figure you and I can take turns driving, let the truck sit and cool down a few hours a day. We could be there in about a week."

He looked at Wyoming, Lily had highlighted different highways and marked spots on the map. "You got a route figured out?"

"We'll go back the same way I got here. Its the safest route I know."

"You came back here from New York all alone?"

"I promised Tommy and Maria I would come back."

"Traveling is dangerous enough let alone a woman all by herself."

"I can take care of myself Joel."

For that he was thankful, but he still wanted to be the one taking care of her. "Alright Lily, lets sit and go over this route of yours."

They sat at the table and Joel poured them a round. "We're going to get on 789 and head north. Then it will be 216 to 90."

"How's the roads between here and ninety?"

"Bumpy," Lily concede and sipped her drink.

"We take ninety all the way to New York?"

"We can't. The road is too rough in some places, hunters are in control of others. We'll stick with it though mostly until we're almost to Minnesota, then we cut down to Iowa. Here, I'll show you the route."

They sat at the table going over road maps and discussing their travel plans for nearly two hours. Lily had places picked out for them to stop and let the truck rest, places they could spend a night or more if need be and resupply. She pointed out the places that were still thick with the infected and the territories hunters had control over. Joel took it all in, asking questions when he needed, but mostly he listened.

He finished his second glass. "How long is it gonna take you to round up all the gas we can carry?"

"I can take care of it tomorrow."

"And we'll leave the following mornin, get an early start." He rubbed his chin through his beard. "Maybe I can find a headlight for the truck. You want a hand gettin the gas together?"

Lily shook her head negative. "I'll take the truck to go get it."

"Alright, I'll talk to Tommy about some gear in the morning, see if I can find a headlight for the truck. If not I wouldn't recommend we do too much night drivin. Too much shit layin around on the roads. Is there somethin else you want me and Ellie to bring along?"

"No, I'll take care supplies and camping equipment."

For a long moment he stared at her. "We don't have to do this Lily."

"Then sit on Ellie while I go get Richard. Tie her to a chair or whatever."

"I aint lettin you go out there alone."

"I really don't need a babysitter."

"Maybe so, but I am going to look out for you whether you like it or not."

She looked down into her glass. "Are we done here?"

Joel was far from done with Lily. "After Ellie and I left here we rode all the way out to that university in Colorado." He poured himself a drink. "The fireflies were gone, there was some infected around; clickers and bloaters mostly. We found out they had gone on to Salt Lake City and then we came under attack. Hunters." Joel sipped some whiskey. Lily was looking at him again. "We was just about out of there when one of them bastards got a hold of me. We went over the balcony and a piece of rebar went clean through me when I hit the ground."

"That scar," she remembered seeing it when he had his shirt off.

"Yeah that scar." He smiled at her a little knowing she was thinking more pleasant things. "Messed me up pretty bad. I was down for weeks with Ellie taking care of the both of us. She was out getting food when she ran into this hunter, David. Him and his boys had developed quite the taste for long pork."

"Cannibals," Lily shuddered.

"They got a hold of Ellie; she managed to get away mostly, but David cornered her. She killed him and then I found her and I got her out of there. She didn't leave my site again." He sipped and went on. "We got to Salt Lake, the tunnel to the hospital was flooded. We fell in crossin a bus, I got Ellie out before she drown, but she wasn't breathing. I was giving her CPR when a couple of fireflies found us and bashed me in the head. I woke up in the hospital to Marlene tellin me I couldn't see Ellie 'cause she was being prepped for surgery. They never even gave her the chance to wake up and consent before they drugged her to cut out her fucking brain."

Tommy hadn't told her everything. "Ellie never agreed to..."

"She didn't even know until she heard us." Another shot. "I made my way to the OR, grabbed Ellie and ran. Marlene was waiting for us in the garage. I didn't have a choice. She woulda sicked what was left of her army on me and Ellie and killed us both. I shot Marlene, I took Ellie and I ran. We came here so I could give Ellie a safe place to make a fresh start."

It was a hard truth, but "You did the right thing for Ellie," she shook her head. "You did the right thing. I would have done the same."

"I'm sorry if some of your friends got caught up in that shit Lily and I'm damn sorry I had to take Marlene down. I knew her a long time, longer then you even. I don't regret it, I can't. Ellie is alright and that's all that matters."

Lily nodded and sipped her drink. "I understand."

"I didn't want Ellie to know any of it so I told her a story and I told her what she should and shouldn't be telling other people."

"Like me?"

"Things the way they are between us, I woulda told you about Ellie soon enough and the truth woulda followed."

"The way things were," she corrected.

"Oh fuck that Lily. You get why I've done what I've done, woulda done the same godamn thing yourself even. Let's put this behind us and move on."

She took a deep breath and sighed. "They were my friends."

"They were a bunch of fuckin savages aiming to kill my little girl."

The thought was nauseating. How far did you fall Marlene? "I...I can't."

"You're still upset, I get it. I'm gonna back off and give you some space, but you need to think about this and I mean really think hard. I'm the same man that loved you in your bed the other night Lily. We still have a chance, you just gotta take it." He finished his drink in one go and got up. "I need to see to Ellie. I'll be by tomorrow. Goodnight Lily."

Joel went out and Lily finished her drink. She understood him better then she wanted too; it made it hard to hate him. He wasn't ready to give up on them either; clearly the door was still open, all Lily need do is walk through. She thought about Joel smiling up at her from the stacked pillows on her bed. How he pulled her down into his arms and kissed her, the weight of his body on top of her. "Fffffffuuuuuuck," Lily sighed into the kitchen. There was still much to do to get ready for the trip back east. Lily got up and took the glasses to the sink and went to finish packing.

"Ya'all are fuckin crazy goin all the way back there," Tommy said through his puffy mouth.

The brothers had mostly made up, but Tommy was still upset they were leaving. They sat having coffee in Tommy's kitchen as Joel told him their plans. "You gonna hook us up Tommy or what?" Joel frowned at his little brother.

Tommy shook his head, no amount of arguing was going to stop anyone from going anywhere. "Yeah, I am. You gotta promise me you're coming back, all three of you."

"Sure we are little brother. We'll have a vaccine too."

"You sure are hopeful."

"Aint gonna do me no good to be any other way."

"Just be careful out there," Tommy was serious. "I know you can take care of Ellie, she listens to you for the most part, but I need you to watch Lily for me too. I'm tellin you now, she's gonna wanna do everything her way."

"We got our route all figured out. We're just gonna drive straight there."

Tommy nodded silently hoping that's exactly what they would do. "If you run into trouble...Lil's good in a fight especially from a distance, but she's still a little woman. She can probably take out one or two guys hand to hand, but if a bunch of scumbags jump her." Tommy stopped and sipped some coffee.

"I'll keep my eye on Lily." Little brother looked all kinds of distressed. "There somethin else you wanna tell me Tommy?"

There was a lot Joel should know and none of it was anything Tommy wanted to share. He sighed depressed. "Lily don't feel fear. Before she has a chance to realize she's scared her crazy mind turns that shit into... well, violent anger."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing. Its kept her alive."

So have I. "She used to leave a calling card on the bodies of the hunters and soldiers she killed. Lil would carve a big ol' cursive capital l on their face, if they had one left. She kinda reminded me of you when she pulled stunts like that. I guess that's another reason why I liked her."

He frowned at the backhanded compliment. "Is that so?" Joel remembered hearing about the mysterious killer L many years ago. He had no idea L was a woman let alone one of Tommy's friends.

Little brother shrugged his shoulders. "In some ways Lil was every bit as bad as you, but when it came to her friends, with us she still had a heart. You didn't in those days."

"Is that what made you such good friends?" he jabbed and sipped his coffee.

"We've been through a lot together." Tommy reached up and scratched around the itchy cut above his eyebrow.

"Maybe you outta tell me about it."

"What's Lil said?"

"She said she's saved your ass plenty of times."

Tommy quit scratching. "She has. It goes both ways."

"Yeah, and?"

"And what?" Tommy downed more coffee.

Joel rolled his eyes. "Do you know this Dr Richard guy?"

"Yeah," Tommy looked out the window at the sunny day trying to keep dark memories at bay. "He was an intern when the plague hit. Smart guy."

"Is he trustworthy?"

Richard had saved Lily's life. "I reckon."

"He come down to Boston with Lily?"

"Naw he's always been in New York."

Joel leaned back in his chair. "Then how do you know him?"

"Took Lil up to see him once." He closed his eyes and shut out the summer day. At once he was back in Boston standing in Lil's doorway looking at her ghostly white face. Jesus Christ Lil what's wrong?

His little brother was behaving strangely. "What's a matter Tommy, you run Lily up to see Richard and she dumped ya for him?"

Tommy looked at Joel. "I took Lily to New York 'cause she was dieing and needed surgery. Richard was the only one she'd trust after what our firefly doctors done to her."

"What they do?"

"Screwed up," he frowned at his coffee then took a sip.

"You wanna explaine?"

"No I don't."

"Why not?"

He sighed. "It's personal. If Lil wants you to know she'll tell ya."

"So you'll keep Lily's secrets but not mine huh?"

"She had a right to know what I told her."

"I woulda told her Tommy." He sipped his coffee as the brothers hard eyed each other. "I aint givin up on her."

Tommy shook his head. "If you hurt her..."

"You don't need to worry about that."

"I do worry about Lil. She's been through enough. You just watch out for her, bring her back in one piece."

Joel would have time with Lily, time to get her to talk with him. He hoped that eventually she'd tell him about her past with Tommy in a little more detail. "That I will do." They finished their coffee and headed over to the town garage to make some nail bombs.

Lily went after the gas they would carry in the morning. She secured the containers in two wooden crates in the back of the pickup. After finish up with the gas she took the truck home again to put the chain link fence on over the windows. when that task was done she loaded food, medical and camping supplies. Lily loaded her favorite guns, her trusty crossbow and boxes of ammo and arrows into the gear box bolted opposite the tool box. Tommy got a hold of her over the radio and told her to bring the truck down to the public garage to load up even more supplies.

Joel's brows went up as his vicious looking ride pulled in. He and Tommy packed a box of bombs and another box with the fixins to make molotov's in another into the back away from the crated gasoline containers. Tommy nagged, begged and pleaded; he got them both to agree to come have dinner at his place. He wanted one last meal together as a family before big brother took Ellie and Lil and went east.

The truck was packed and the plans were made, Lily gave Joel a ride back to his place. Along the way he assured her "Me and Ellie will have our bags together in the mornin. She's still fussing over what to take."

"You can tell her I'll bring books."

"Schoolbooks I hope."

"I won't let her slide too much just because we're out on the road. She's a very smart girl, I wont let her waste it."

He nodded wishing he could rest his arm on the window, fence blocked the hole. "Ya'all can do your thing while I'm drivin."

"I would have liked to drive straight through, but I don't want to kill the truck half way between east and bumfuck."

"Naw we can baby it a bit. Stop and stretch out every few hours. No headlight in this town, but once we get back on the road maybe we'll come across one. Until we do I'd rather not have us driving much at night."

They had come to several compromises last night. "It will be fine. There's a Chevy dealership across the state line, might be able to find what we need there."

"This is gonna be a smooth run Lily," it was a statement and a question.

"Of course."

"I'm trusting you'll make sure nothing happens to Ellie, out on the road and once we get to your friend. I swear if anyone means to harm Ellie, I will put a stop to it."

"No one is going to hurt Ellie."

"You see to it."

"I will." She pulled into his drive and put the truck in park.

Joel put his hand on the door handle to get out. He turned and looked at Lily. "I'm gonna be watchin you."

"I'll mind Ellie."

"Ellie aint the only reason I'll be keepin my eyes on you. I'll see you at dinner." He got out of the truck and stood in his drive as she backed out and drove off. Joel shook his head and went in to tell Ellie Maria was cooking tonight.

Maria whipped up a feast, Lily brought a giant bowl of salad all fresh picked from her garden. The food was good, they kept the conversation and the mood light. Lily stuck around for one drink after dinner then bowed out to go home and take care of a few things. Joel had a few more with Tommy and Maria then took Ellie home for the last night they'd spend in their house for a while. They watched Xena until almost midnight before he called it a night and sent Ellie up to bed.

Joel walked around the downstairs a bit, memorizing his house before it was a thousand miles away. He relived the memories he had made here with Ellie and Tommy and Lily. He was going to miss this place. Quietly he promised his home that Ellie and Lily would be back on the couch watching tv again in no time.

Lily was in the driveway at ten of seven, they were packed and ready to go on the hour. Tommy was at the gate to see them off in the morning. He hugged them all hard and told them he'd leave the light on for them. He watched the Silverado round the bend and fought the sinking feeling he'd never see them again. "Ya'all come back ya hear?" Tommy turned away from the gate and went to get to work.