A/N: Reviews = love. Thanks for taking time to leave reviews. This one is one of my favorite chapters and I sure do hope it's yours as well. Enjoy!

-3 hours after posting chapter 9-

A guest reviewer has posted her comment on this chapter, and after taking into consideration what he/she has said, I thought he/she made a fair point, so I adjusted Bella and Edward's conversation a bit. This is probably the first and the last time I'll adjust a chapter though. I just realized some things weren't that clear on some points…

~WHAT IT TAKES TO STAND~

Chapter 9: Circumstances and Situations

"You know."

I was wearing not an ounce of expression as I looked at Edward's face. One look at me and he already knew what the issue was. I wheeled myself away from the door to let him in.

"I talked to Rosalie," I mumbled.

The silence stretched on as I looked at his bedraggled face. When I could take it no longer, I moved to my room. His strained voice stopped me.

"Please Bella, let me explain," he pleaded, defeated.

I tried to keep my voice detached but the loathing tears were threatening to overcome me. "There's nothing to talk about."

"There are tons, and you know it."

I continued to wheel myself away from him. He came to stand directly in front of me.

"Bella!"

I finally erupted – my anger lashing out of me – as I stared at him with tearful angry eyes.

"I don't want to be that girl, Edward! I don't want to be cheap! I don't want to be some mistress! And most of all, I don't want to destroy your future!"

"God, help me, I want to kill Rosalie right now." He ran his hand through his face. I tried to wheel myself away from him again.

"Bella, listen to me. Please." There was hopelessness in the way he pleaded to me.

"It's good we end this before it even actually started." My voice broke twice. At that, he also reached his limit.

"Don't hide, Bella! And don't just cry! That's all you do - cry, and run away. You're too afraid to love me that you don't even want to have sex with me. And now, you're too afraid to be hurt that you shut me out before I even talk to you. I don't even know why you're on wheels, but I think I know that it is fear once again. You're too afraid to walk that you don't even want to consider it."

His words cut deep because I knew that he was right. "Get lost!" I shouted with only the voice I could muster, but he was resolute on what he wanted to make me realize, now that he knew he was hitting bull's eye.

"I won't. I'm fighting, Bella. Dammit, I don't want this life. I don't want the life my father pushes me into. And I see you, and I thought for once maybe it's time I make a stand. I don't want to marry Tanya. I don't even like her. But all of this is just hopeless if you cower in fear as I fight for us."

I wiped the loathing tears as I struggled to keep my emotions in check.

"There's nothing to fight for, Edward. We're not even officially together. We only dated a few days. There is no 'us'."

"Don't say that. I know you want me too."

How could I deny him the one truth that I've been trying to refute within myself all this time? I knew he was spot on. However, my fears kept me shying away from giving all of me to him.

"How dare you."

"Yes, I could dare and tell you outright how you want me. I see it in your eyes. I feel it with your touch. I taste it from your lips. You want me, Bella. Dammit, just admit that you want me."

My voice quivered as my weakness was put up front.

"What good would it do, Edward? I'm just me. Pathetic. Weak. Always crying. I couldn't even fight to stand for myself, how could I fight to stand with you?"

He senses that I was losing it and immediately grasped my moment of weakness. He lowered himself and pushed his mouth to mine. At my gasp, his tongue was fast to take control over mine. In one swift uncertainty, I almost gave in to his kiss. It was needy, and God forbid, it was damn sexy. But I knew this was wrong, and I knew how much it makes me look cheap. Using all my force, I pushed him away. And slapped him hard on his face.

"I'm not some whore you could just use at your own whim and pleasure. Go find someone else to fill in your needs, Edward. Goodbye." More tears followed my retreat to my room. When I was near my bed, I heard Edward murmur very quietly.

"Cheeky."

"What?" I faced him with a vexed look.

"Cheeky is much better than you. At least she could fight not just for herself but for someone else. You can't even admit what you truly want."

I saw how his eyes melted and found it hard to breathe because once again, he was right. Cheeky is better than me. A cat, with not one-fourth the intelligence of humans, can fight for her life. I couldn't even admit my feelings for him without cowering in fear.

"Why do you keep on telling me that I want you?"

"Because you're a shitty liar that you try to lie even to yourself."

Damn him.

"Kiss me."

I saw him struggle, gauging if I was really serious. I wiped my weak tears and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"Damn it Edward, kiss me. Make me forget everything. Make me forget even my own name."

It was a losing battle for both of us as soon as the words left my mouth. With purposeful strides, Edward walked to me and lifted me from my chair. He carried me to my bed and set me down there without removing his eyes from mine. I nodded, and swiftly, his mouth was on mine. It was needy. It was forceful. It was right.

I couldn't remember exactly how but soon, we were both topless as we remained kissing. I could feel his need growing down below and hissed as it made contact with my hip. We momentarily departed from each other to look at each other's bodies. I ravished at his perfect muscles and glided my hands on it. He unclasped the front of my bra and gasped, looking at my bare chest.

"You are beautiful."

His words instigated me to be more courageous. I tugged at his pants – my hands shaking as I worked on his fly – and he helped me remove them, together with his boxers. As I saw his wholeness, I couldn't look away. His need was very evident on how high it stood. To know that I was the one creating that effect on him made me feel sexy. Wanted.

Edward lowered himself to me again as he kissed my jaw, and made the kisses reach my chest. He kissed my breast with force and need and I moaned and arched myself to him. It has been so long since someone made me feel that way.

Next, he removed the pants and panties that I was wearing, lifting my feet one at a time.

"God, Bella, you're perfect."

He kissed my right breast and worked his way down to my thigh. And then, with one sweet motion, he inserted his finger in me.

"Edward!" I moaned.

He kissed my lips again as he worked his finger, inserting the second one later, and removed them from mine to cup my breast. He saw my need from my eyes, and felt it when he touched my most intimate part, and soon he was hovering at my entrance.

I closed my eyes. I wanted – badly – to wrap my legs around him but because I couldn't move them, all I could do was to tell him exactly what to do.

"Edward, my legs – I want them around you," I breathed with a foreign voice. He did as I said and wrapped them securely around him.

I remembered one important detail and opened my eyes.

"Edward, God, please tell me you have condoms with you."

"Wait." He hissed. Hastily, he reached for his pants that we discarded near my bed, brought his condom out of his wallet and put it around him as fast as he could. Waiting for him was an agony and when he finally made contact to me, I felt like I was in cloud nine – which was a childish notion, but doing what we're doing, it was nothing but childish.

He thrust into me – deep – ruled with his need, and I easily reciprocated. He kept on kissing me – my jaw, my neck, the spot below my ears, and my lips – as we both moved in perfect sync. I never have been a screamer but with him, I was gasping, moaning and panting for him as words that I couldn't focus on floods out of my mouth.

We were easily reaching our climax when Edward murmured "let go, Bella. Let go of your fears."

At that, I came hard unlike anything before with a loud cry of his name. He soon followed with a garbled version of my name and we both collapsed to the bed, catching our breaths.

"You were so beautiful, Bella," he murmured in a breathy voice as he kissed my forehead.

I couldn't exactly say that it was love making, for it was a moment of unconstrained need and passion, but Edward uttering the things he did throughout our contact made me feel wanted, needed, sexy and beautiful, that I felt it made up for all the years that I didn't have sex.

"That was…" I said, looking up to the ceiling and unable to put words into what we did.

"Yeah," he murmured on my shoulder, filling my sentence.

And then we were both laughing – for what reason, I was not so sure. Maybe we both were just dang happy and finally fucking satisfied.

"Did I make you forget your name?"

We were both lying on our sides' moments later, in perfect post-coital bliss, as I was tucked on his right arm and our legs intertwined.

"Not really."

He turned my head to look at me and said with conviction "I can make up for it. Let's do it again."

I chuckled as I kissed his chest. "I didn't forget my name because you were screaming it as you came."

"Oh really? I didn't even notice."

"I couldn't blame you. You were a bit preoccupied." I winked.

"I could do worse than get a bit preoccupied. In fact, I think I want to always be preoccupied." He winked back and I laughed.

"God, Edward, you're insatiable."

"I hope that's a good thing."

"Well, for now, it is." I smiled.

We were both satisfied to keep quiet for a few moments but we knew that there were issues needed to be addressed. One sex – though great – could not solve anything that we needed to overcome. He sighed, and I knew that our thoughts were aligned at that moment.

"So, Tanya," I started. He sighed again.

"Later." He kissed my head.

"No. We need to discuss this now."

"I know. But, I don't want to ruin the moment. We will talk about her a bit later, okay?"

I gave in – also wanting to prolong our short happiness.

"What do you want to talk about then?" I asked, nuzzling his slightly hair-covered chest.

He thought for a moment before posing a question for me.

"Why can't you walk, Bella?"

As usual, he was direct to the point. I realized that I should be, too.

"Trauma."

He looked at my face.

"What?"

"I can't walk because I don't have the courage and will to do so. I could easily dodge your question and say it's because of the car accident, but that's not all true. I was traumatized. It's a type of Somatoform Disorder formerly known "hysteria". It's called Conversion Disorder."

He took a moment to process the information.

"So you mean to say you can still walk but couldn't because you still don't want to?"

"Something like that."

"And it's because of the car accident that you're traumatized."

"Not exactly. It's not just that. There's something else," I answered vaguely.

He smiled.

"That means there's still hope."

I sighed. "Most people with this type of disorder can overcome it only by a few months, Edward. It's been six years since the incident. I am still on wheels."

I sensed that he still wanted to know more. However, I also sensed that he sensed that I couldn't say more than what I already shared. He changed the subject and focused on what we really need to talk about.

"Tanya was just someone forced in my hands to marry. All my life I let Mr. Cullen – I meant Carlisle – rule me. Well, not just me, but every one of us. But then, this time, I wanted to do something right with my life and be man enough to stand up against him."

"Do you know Tanya aside from being your forced fiancé?"

"The Denalis have been partners with the Cullen family in some business ventures. You could say that they are my father's business friends because they're the only ones he consider good enough for him to be co-owners on some of our franchises."

I took a moment to word what I wanted to say.

"Tanya is very beautiful."

He shrugged. "She could be, for a fake woman."

"Fake?"

"Let's just say that her nose and her body parts were not God-given."

I tensed. "You know her intimately?"

He looked at me with his all-too-familiar smirk.

"Are you jealous, Ms. Swan?"

"No, not jealous. 'Intimidated' would be a more correct term." I answered honestly. He kissed my forehead.

"We've known them for years. She and Rosalie have complete animosity towards each other. I guess you could say that Rose made it her job to point out every flaw on Tanya whenever they happened to be in the same room, and I'm just someone in the hearing range as all hell breaks loose. But, no, Bella, I didn't have sex with her, so you shouldn't worry on that regard." And then he added in a hushed low voice, "And to tell you the truth, I prefer brunettes."

That settled some of my insecurities away as I felt a shiver run down my spine from his last comment. However, one chill-inducing thing crossed my mind and I voiced it out.

"I'm also intimidated by your sister," I mumbled, remembering meeting Rosalie King on that coffee shop. I cringed. For some reason, Edward laughed at me. Puzzled, I looked at him.

"I would be surprised if you wouldn't find her intimidating because that's how she is – well, mostly for me she is annoying, but then, we always fight each other. She's just very blunt but once you get to know her more you'll see that she actually cares. She's been through a rough time and only wants what's best for us." Suddenly, his voice turned from playful to sincere and dead serious. "But what she did and said to you was no excuse. You didn't deserve being told off in that way. Rosalie is my sister, but she crossed a line. I am sorry of what you had to go through with her."

I put his hand close to my lips to kiss his palm. "I understand her. I saw how she looked at me – I know there was something going on about her. Instead of hating her for her bitchy ways, I feel only sympathy towards her."

"You're too kind. She doesn't deserve it."

I only shrugged.

I contemplated about what Edward has been saying. It is apparent their father, Mr. Cullen, is a very daunting man and imposes on their lives. I wonder what brought him to be such a character.

"Bella, I was thinking."

"Yes?"

"You said that your disorder is mostly psychological, right?"

I didn't like where this was heading.

"Yes. I'm a complete coward."

"What if I help you walk?"

I shook my head. "It will be a very hard fit, Edward. And given your current circumstances, I'd much rather you focus on straightening your life than making me walk."

He briefly pondered on what I told him. "Okay then, let's do this – you focus, very hard, on your recovery while I face the wrath of the Great Carlisle."

I looked at his eyes to see utter determination reflecting back on me.

"You mean let's be brave together?"

"Yes. You have your fears so you can't stand. I have my lack of courage so I can't also stand. We have very similar circumstances, if you ask me. So, what we need to do is we need to be adults and face them."

"But the question is, how?"

"I have an idea on what to do with mine. However, for yours, we need to address your greatest fear first."

"My shrink made me realize that at the moment, it's my own shadow that I fear. I fear being around too many people, I fear their judgement, I fear the looks that they will give me. But mostly, I'm creating my own ghost, fearing things that are not there. And guilt – above all, guilt." I didn't want to elaborate on that part. Again, understanding was on Edward's eyes.

"We all have our internal battles. We just need to have the will not to make ourselves lose."

We were quiet for several minutes. I was contemplating on what his battle could be when Edward spoke again.

"I think we need to continue on with our deal. And we start by me, taking you out tomorrow. So, can I ask you out?"

At my confusion, he explained what he meant. "I mean, a real dinner at a restaurant?"

I looked at him sadly. "I can't, Edward. I still can't."

He kissed my forehead lovingly.

"We'll take it one at a time. Why don't we start by having breakfast together tomorrow? So can I ask you to have breakfast with me, Ms. Swan?"

I abruptly felt that it was my call and that I should be facing things by now. I nodded and Edward beamed.

"And I should really do something about the engagement situation."

I nodded again.

"But first, there are other situations."

I furrowed my brows. "What situations?"

Suddenly, he aligned himself atop mine and looked at me with a sexy smirk that I was growing fond of.

"Only one, actually. My 'growing' situation."

Right on cue, I felt his 'growth' and I chuckled.

"I guess it is an emergency situation."

"It is a desperate situation."

And we made love again the second time for the night, until finally; the situation has calmed down a bit.