Hullo, I just need to quickly say that Jess' last name has changed, and err, that's it. It's now "Whestone" so don't get confused. I did this simply because I didn't like her old name. -le sigh- Yuuppp. Enjoy the fanfiction though!

It was the first day of term and I was sitting in the Great Hall eating my breakfast. I was not, what you could call, happy. In fact, I was very, very cranky because I was woken up before 12, a time that in my opinion at least, should be gunned and then dumped into a river.

So as I was saying, there I was, eating my breakfast as peacefully as possible when I noticed Draco's head, just sitting here. On top of that it was so greasy it was actually casting light across the hall, directly into my face, how is that even possible? I don't know, but what I do know is that it really began to annoy me, so I decided to throw stuff at it. I picked up a bread roll and began to quickly dismantle it, I ripped it into tiny pieces, all the while my eyes were focused on the back of his greasy blond head.

I began to throw the bread chunks one by one at him. I noticed that I was quickly gaining a lot of attention. He still hadn't turned around to yell at me, he's no fun. He probably hasn't turned around through the fear that one of the high-speed bread pieces would hit him in his stupid face.

As I threw the bread I noticed that the last piece was strangely shiny and a lot heavier than the rest. It took until a metallic clang sounded through the hall, soon followed by a yelp and "OUCH" for me to realise I had accidentally, though slightly on purpose, thrown a fork at him.

"Hem, hem" I heard from behind me. I decided to pretend I didn't hear it, maybe the thing'll go away.

"Hem, hem?" she repeated slightly louder this time. She just doesn't know when to give up, does she?

When once again I didn't answer, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, pretending to jump slightly and smiled pleasantly.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked sternly but in a sickly sweet voice.

An idea formed in my head as I tried to keep the evil smirk off my face.

"I'm sorry Miss, but could you repeat yourself?" I answered in voice that matched hers perfectly, "I'm deaf, you see."

Her eyebrows raised so high up on her forehead that they were practically making out with her hairline. She closed her tiny eyes and took a deep breath, before repeating herself.

"What. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing?" She took a great pause between each word, as if she were talking to a four year old. I took offence to this, and it's never a good idea to offend me.

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows this time, "I'm deaf love, not mentally retarded," I retorted in a manner that one would use when talking to someone they didn't like very much. See what she says about that, shall we?

"Excuse me?" she spluttered, obviously not used to being spoken back to, good she's going to have to get used to it too.

"OH!" I exclaimed, "it wasn't me you were being slow for," I smacked my head in mock embarrassment. "It's you that needs to go slow, don't worry dear, there are quite a few of your kind around here, I think you'll find them over there." she followed the line of my arm until her eyes came to rest to the Slytherin table. I had thought of pointing at the Hufflepuff's table, but that seemed mean.

She was shaking with fury by this point, "How...DARE you!" she shirked, "your kind?" she wailed like a banshee, "You, young lady will-"

I'm guessing she was about to give me detention, but as luck may have it, Professor McGonagall came to my rescue. Not purposefully mind you, she was just giving out time tables. But she got toad face to clear off none-the-less.

"I do believe, "I said out loud to no one in particular, "that I have made a new friend." I finished earning a few giggles from around the table.

From a few chairs down I heard Ron groan unhappily.

"Look at today," he groaned again, "History of Magic, double Potions, Divination, and double Defence Against the Dark Arts... Binns, Snape, Trelawney and that Umbridge woman all in one day! I wish Fred, George and Jess'd hurry up and get those skiving snackboxes sorted..."

"Do mine ears deceive me?" said Fred, arriving with George and squeezing onto the bench between me and Harry, opposite Ron. "Hogwarts prefects surely don't wish to skive off lessons"

"Look what we've got today," said Ron grumpily, shoving his timetable under Fred's nose. "That's the worst Monday I've ever seen."

"Fair point, little bro," said Fred, scanning the column, "You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like."

"Why's it cheap?" said Ron suspiciously.

"Because you'll keep bleeding till you shrivel up, we haven't got an antidote yet," said George, helping himself to the food from my plate.

"Cheers," said Ron moodily, pocketing his timetable, "but I think I'll take the lessons."

"And speaking of Skiving snackboxes," said Hermione, eyeing Fred, George and I beadily, "You can't advertise for testers on the Gryffindor noticeboard."

"Says who?" said George, looking astonished.

"Says me," said Hermione. "And Ron."

"Leave me out of it," said Ron hastily, looking my way, oh the fun I have in scaring him.

Hermione glared at him. As Fred, George and I sniggered.

"You'll be singing a different tune soon enough, Hermione" said Fred, thickly buttering a crumpet.

"you're starting your Fifth year, you'll be begging us for a snackbox before long -HEY!" he yelled, as I leaned across the table and took a large bite of his crumpet. (Oo-er)

"And why would starting fifth year mean I want a skiving snackbox?" asked Hermione.

"Fifth years OWL year," said George.

"So," I said, "you've got your exams coming up haven't you? They'll be keeping your noses so hard on that grindstone they'll be rubbed off." I finished for George in a satisfied tone.

"Half our year had minor breakdowns coming up to OWLs," said George happily. "Tears and tantrums... Patricia Stimpson kept coming over faint..."

"Kenneth Towler came out in boils, d'you remember?" said Fred reminiscently.

"That's because you put Buladox powder in his pyjamas," I said, laughing.

"Oh yeah," said Fred, grinning. "I'd forgotten about that... hard to keep track sometimes, isn't it?"

"Anyway it's a nightmare of a year, the Fifth," said George, "if you care about exam results, anyway. Fred and I managed to keep out peckers up somehow."

"Yeah...you got, what was it, three OWLs each?" said Ron.

"They seem to think that because I got eight they'll be fine." I said, sighing and rolling my eyes.

"Yep," said Fred unconcernedly to Ron's statement, "but we feel out futures lie out-side of the world of academic achievement."

"We seriously debated whether we were going to bother coming back for our Seventh year," said George brightly. "Now we've got-"

He broke off at a warning look from Harry, who knew George had been about to mention the Triwizard winnings he and I had given them.

"- Now... now I've got Jess!" said George hastily, pulling me into a one-armed, side hug.

"And we've also got out OWLs," Fred added.

"Yes," said George, "I mean do we really need NEWTs? But we didn't think Mum could take us leaving school early, not on top of Percy turning out to be the world's biggest prat."

"We're going to use it to do a bit of market research, find out exactly what the average Hogwarts student requires from a joke shop, carefully evaluate the results of our research, then produce products to fit the demand."

"But where are you going to get the gold to start the joke shop?" Hermione asked sceptically. "You're going to need all the ingredients and material - and premises too, I suppose."

Harry made a large show of dropping his fork before I said.

"We're planning on selling my body to the students of Hogwarts, want a go, Hermione? 4 gallons for an hour." (A.N that's about £20)

Ron, who was in the process of putting toast in his mouth, sat staring at me, his mouth half full and agape, as Fred and George sniggered.

"Ask us a questions and we'll tell you no lies, Hermione," said Fred, "C'mon Jess, George, if we get there early we might be able to sell a few Expendable ears before Herbology."

We got up and walked out of the Great Hall, both the twins holding a large stack of toast.

"She was joking, right, Hermione?" asked Ron from behind us.

Halfway to Herbology Fred turned to me and said "you're very pricey, aren't you, Jess?"

"I have to be, I don't want just anybody buying me, and who would pay 4 gallons?"

"I would," George said, his mouth full of toast.

"How romantic."

"I try."

I was listening to "Ghost busters" while writing this, WHO YA GONNA CALL?

I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST.

Oh the fun you have when you are somewhat insane.

Anyyywaayys, please review my fanfiction, that would be WONDERFUL, and well, I likesss them.