Pansy Parkinson. It's all her fault! Her and her stoopid face.
Oh. I suppose you need some context, huh?
Well, I suppose I can try and re-tell it. This sucks, my hands already starting to hurt and I haven't even started yet.
So, It all started not long ago, at Quidditch practise. i.e. torture from a crazy Gryffindor. She's worse than Wood was, I swear. At least I didn't have to share a dorm with him. And yes, I am on the Quidditch team. We established this a while ago, keep up.
It was Ronniekins first practise as the new Keeper and he was a little nervous and just downright shit. But this is Ron we're talking about. So I wasn't really expecting much.
"Okay, everyone," said Angelina, entering from the Captains office, already changed. "Let's get to it; Jess, Fred, if you can just bring out the ball crate for us. Oh, and there are a couple of people out there watching, but just try to ignore them, all right?"
I stood up slowly, huffing and trudged over to the small cupboard in the changing rooms where the heavy ball crate was kept, with a sullen look on my face. I hate doing things.
"I have a feeling I know who our little visitors are," Fred said casually from behind me. He walked around to the other side of the crate and grabbed a hold of one of the handles, waiting for me to do the same.
"I'm really not in the mood for their jeers. I'm feeling quite violent actually."
Fred, not being the most stereotypical friend, grinned at me as we both lifted the crate. "Excellent, this should be fun then."
I smirked, "Let the bodies pile."
Once on the pitch, our suppositions were confirmed. There, sitting in the bright sunlight that hit the stands sat the Slytherin Quidditch team and assorted hangers-on, who were grouped halfway up the otherwise empty stands. Their voices echoed loudly around the stadium in a storm of catcalls and jeers.
"What's that Weasley's riding?" Malfoy, my favourite person in the world called, in his sneering drawl. "Why would anyone want to put a flying charm on a mouldy old log like that?"
I set the crate down and turned to the direction the voice came from. "Well, your father married one, didn't he?" I called back.
I'll be the first to admit it wasn't my best insult. But that didn't stop his face from turning a nasty shade of red.
"Don't you dare talk about my Mother, Mudblood!" he roared back.
His words were met with more insults from my Team. Ah, friends. Who else would call someone a "slut-monkey" in your defence. Coming to think of it, it might have been George. Which, and excuse me for turning into a girl for a moment, is freaking hot as hell. Why? I have no idea.
Anyway, on with the story, I got carried away there a bit. Well, as you can probably guess, we practised some Quidditch. That is, after all the primary function of a Quidditch practise. Anyway, it didn't go as smoothly as we would have liked. This was due to Ron's apparent inability to catch or throw a Quaffle. Something, as Keeper you're supposed to be quite good at.
I turned to Katie, my fellow Chaser who was hovering in the air next to me, and had just narrowly missed being hit in the face by the Quaffle, thrown by Ron, "why did he get picked?" I asked.
She made a face that somewhat reminded me of a Squirrel. "He was good on the day we held the trials, I swear. I don't know what happened."
The more Ron messed up, the more the Slytherin's laughed and mocked us. And the more that happened, the worse Ron got. It was like an endless circle. I may kill him.
After a while, they apparently got bored with ruining Ron's chances of ever being happy, so they moved onto Harry.
"Hey, Potter, how's your scar feeling?" called Malfoy. I knew he has a soft spot, see, he cares! "Sure you don't need to lie down? It must be, what, a whole week since you were in the hospital wing, that's a record for you, isn't it?" Oh, maybe not then.
Pansy's face was contorted in a laugh, and well. I kicked her in the face.
It was rather fantastic. I flew over near them to catch the Quaffle. And as I was turning. Clop. Booted her right in the face. She bled SO much. I wish Colin were around, he could have taken a photo and then I could have framed it.
And that's your context. Why I hate her. I have detention now, with Umbridge. I still have to serve the detention for my last prank I pulled, so now I'm alone with her for another week. Brilliant.
So now, here I am. Walking along the corridors to The Toad Queens room. She better not make me read poetry like Snape did before he got scared of me.
I walked, and I walked on and on, until I was met with an odd site. Dumbledore. Oh, he wasn't doing anything, I'm just not used to seeing him out of his office or the great hall. Sometimes I pretend he lives in there.
"My liege." I say, as I bow down to him.
He smiled at me, "Aren't you supposed to be in a detention right now, Miss Whestone?"
I snorted, "I would much rather be here and talk to you about your sock collection," from the look on his face, even though he found me amusing, I guessed that I had to go to my detention. Once again I did a little curtsy, which he did back and then I headed on my way. I swear, that man is insane, and that's why I like him.
When I finally got to Umbridge's office I knocked once and then walked straight in. I love provoking teachers I don't like. She looked up at me with a glare on her face, obviously angry that I hadn't waited for her permission to enter the room.
Her face quickly changed though, into a sadistic sort of smile. "Yes, yes. Miss Whestone. Come on right in and sit yourself here." I followed her instructions and sat myself in the chair, after what felt like less than a heart beat she was back. This time, holding an odd-looking red quill. I took it from her outstretched claw. Smiling sweetly she places a single piece of paper on the desk in front of me.
"Now, today we will be doing lines. I would like you to write the words," she paused thinking about it before smiling again, "write 'I must be normal' if you could?" I felt like telling her no, because I was illiterate, but as I wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible, I bit my tongue and nodded.
I instinctively raised the quill to the pot of ink that should have been on the corner of the desk. After realising it wasn't there I experimentally scribbled on the edge of the paper. Red ink came out of the quill, much like a Muggle pen would. Shrugging internally I carried on.
'I must be normal' I wrote . I wrote it again, and after the fourth line a felt a nasty stinging on my hand I had placed on my lap under the desk. I lifted it up to inspect it, and to my disbelief noticed the words 'I must be normal' carved into the flesh on the back of my hand.
Alarmed I looked to Umbridge who was smirking at me. "Anything wrong dear?" she asked.
"Not at all. I was just admiring how echo friendly you are. Conserving resources like this. I see you in a new light, Dory."
Her eye twitched, before she looked back to the papers she as marking.
"Umm, how many times should I write this for?" I asked.
She looked up at me, "Oh, I think as long as it takes for the message to sink in!"
"Oh good! It has, I'll see you tomorrow then!" and with that I left the room quickly, so as not to be called back.
I'm a freaking genius.
That night seemed to whizz past, and before I knew it I was back in class, after just having come from Herbology, I was quite content with being sat in Transfiguration with Ayana. That was until McGonagall decided to pick on me.
"Miss Whestone? Did you hear my question?"
I jolted out of my daydream about my whale family, "Err, yes! Yes I did." I replied. Bad move, Jess.
"Would you like to answer it then?"
"I would love to, but the answer to your question is protected by the Fidelius charm, and I am not it's secret keeper."
She sighed before saying, "Does anyone else know the answer to my question?"
As she turned away I turned to Ayana, "Phew, dodged a bullet there, eh?"
"Quick thinking, J-dog."
"Have you ever been to a morgue?" I asked.
"Umm, no, why?"
"Because if you ever call me that again, you will."
"Is that a threat?" she asked, her eyebrows raised.
"No, it's a challenge." I replied.
After that lesson was, no other than Potions, with my favourite teacher, besides Umbridge, the maimer.
You see, Snape dislikes me even more than he did last year due to me encouraging certain easily persuaded portraits to yell "SEX CASE" whenever he walks by. But he never does anything about it. I think he's worried that I'll kill him in his sleep or something. Which is silly. I would want him to be awake for that wonderful experience.
"Today, we will be doing a very complicated potion," he drawled, Instead of listening to him, I decided to doodle on the table with my quill.
I turned my head to the side when I felt a constant nudging in my side to see Ally, a friend of mine from Ravenclaw.
"You called?" I said, looking at her with a bored expression on my face.
"We've started," she said, rolling her eyes. This better not turn into another rolling eyes fest again. "I got all the ingredients for you."
"Thanks," I said, smiling. I looked to the board and a funny idea struck me. Why don't I do all the instructions backwards to see what happens?
Perfect. Well, I'll skip the final simmer and start with Mandrake root.
15 minutes later and my cauldron was producing thick black smoke. But lo-and-behold Snape was doing nothing about it. In fact, he was ignoring all the students who even mentioned anything to do with 'fire' and 'people have passed out'. Quite comical indeed. That, was until I started getting light headed and a blurry vision. Then it wasn't funny any more.
"Professor Snape!" I called, "I did it backwards and now people are dying!" that grabbed his attention. Soon everyone was out of the room and I was being yelled at. AGAIN. Guess who has even more detention? THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE!
At least the Twins are proud of me. In fact, George snuck into Hogsmead to get my favourite chocolate for a congratulations.
"I kind of wish I did Potions now," said Fred, ruffling my hair.
"Have you eaten the whole bar already?" George exclaimed holding the wrappers up in front of me.
"Maybe, a little. Yes."
He laughed and put his arm around my waist. "That's my girl!"
Hermione being the biggest buzz kill in the history of forever decided to pipe up and interrupt the fantastic snogging session I was surely about to have. "Molly and Arthur have still been sent a letter, you know. I don't know why you're all celebrating."
"Hermione," I said slowly, as if I were speaking to the very dim, or Ron," I set FIRE to the potions classroom, PLUS Snape himself. And it's not the first time either. That's a lot to celebrate about!"
She tutted and threw her main of hair over her shoulder. "Well, I'm not going to argue with you, even though I'm right. Anyway, shouldn't you be in detention now?"
Ahhh, shit. I knew there was something I'd forgotten about. I jumped up, gave George a quick kiss goodbye and ran out of the common room at lightning speed. Or well, a brisk walk, but that's pretty quick for me.
By the time I had gotten to Umbridge's office I was almost ten minutes late. I knocked on the door and waited for her to answer.
"Ah, Miss Whestone, I thought that might have been you. Would you kindly tell me what was so important that you felt it necessary to arrive late for my detention?"
"Oh, no. There was nothing particularly special, I just didn't want to come." I replied, immediately regretting it.
Ah, wrong answer Jess! Who in their right mind would annoy the person that's going to torture you for the next few hours? Me, that's who. And why do I do it? Because I'm NOT in my right mind.
She smiled at me in a way, that made me feel she was killing me over and over again in her mind. I'm quite familiar with that look.
Once again I was handed a single sheet of paper, and her 'echo friendly' pen. "I want you to write 'I must be normal' until I think it has sunk in. All right, hm?" she cooed.
I want to hurt her.
I nodded and watched her walk back to her desk before starting. The pain this time was immediate. And worst of all. It itched! I don't think I can deal with this! Pain is one thing, but ITCHING? This woman is a monster!
After about 20 minutes, and a sleeve thoroughly soaked with blood. I decided to have some fun. Switching the pen to my right hand and writing new words that were being written onto my other hand.
'I told you I was a badass' it read. See, I know when to have a little fun.
"Hmm, Hmm."
I looked up to Umbridge to see her smiling at me again, "I think you're about done for tonight." she said.
Looking up at the clock I sighed in relief. I'd only been in here little over two hours, "I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then?"
I nodded and headed out of her office, thinking up new ways to make her puny life hell.
And I've got a few very good ideas. She's going to wish she never entered this school.
This, Toad Queen, is why you do not pick on Jessica Whestone.
Well, hello! This wasn't my BEST chapter, but it was fun to write.
I have a lot in store for Jess and Umbridge! :D YAY!
Please review. If you haven't noticed, reviews make me more motivated to write. ;D
I love you all, and I hope you liked the chapter!
Tatty bye!