Chapter Five

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"Okay lets go over this again", Yates huffed as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "A... A Man... BearPig?". Al Gore simply nodded with a small smile playing on his lips. "A ManBearPig?", Yates repeated as if to emphasise how much he didn't believe in this creature. Yates had been incredibly sure that he had found an eye witness, who had actually seen this alien beast that seemed to be the entire talk of the town. So much so, that he had bought the man back to the police department so that they could discuss what he saw. It turned out that Al Gore had seen nothing but was super 'serial' that he knew that the creature in the forest, was some sort of mashed up monster.

"Exactly".

"What on Earth is a ManBearPig?". With this, Al Gore gasped dramatically, obviously shocked that the Sergeant had no idea what a ManBearPig was, as if it was a sin to have not heard of this creature.

"It's half man". He paused, as if to try and add emphasis to what he was saying. "Half bear". Again, another unneeded pause. "and half pig". Yates waited patiently for Al Gore to continue. Realising that he had nothing else to say, Yates pushed himself out of his chair and walked towards his office door. He hesitantly grabbed onto the handle and opened the door.

"Thanks for your help. You can leave now".

"You think I'm crazy don't you?". Yates ignored his question, but the looked on his face gave Al Gore his answer. He scrunched his eyebrows together and snarled. "I'll prove it! I'll go into the forest and find him myself! I'm being super serial". Yates rolled his eyes while pointing towards the door with his one hand, clearly suggesting that Al Gore removed himself from his office.

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"C'mon Butters!", I whined as I tugged on his arm. "We're going to be late to class". At dinner, me and Butters had talked continously, and then played some form of the game 'Leekie', with Tweek and Red who might I add, was a very pretty girl with bright, (yes you guessed it), red hair. She smelt abit like berries and she was just the coolest gir- I... Er... I'm getting off topic, and it's only going to end with me ending up blushing to high heaven. As I was saying, we all had played Leekie at dinner and I couldn't help that maybe I was making some friends in the process. Butters was clearly my best friend at the moment. I'm not sure whether he felt the same way. I hope he did, but I wouldn't be bothered too much if he wasn't. I mean, I had only be in this town for like four or five days now... so I guess I had plently of time to make bestfriends. So yeah, I had my bestfriend, I had my girlfrie- GIRL-WHO-IS-A-FRIEND, and I had Tweek, what I was meant to call him I don't know. Tweek Tweak was a very very strange character in my opinion. He was constantly twitching and stuttering the words he said, which made him very hard to talk too. I made sure to try extra hard to converse with him once Butters had told me that Tweek suffered with ADHD and Anxiety problems... and that people sometimes bully him for it. All I saw was a boy who was extremely shaky and smelt an awful lot like coffee. How kids could bully someone for disorders that they couldn't control really annoyed me, but what was I meant to do about it? I was a wuss.

"O-Okay Nathan", Butter chuckled, bringing me back to reality. I smiled as he began to rush to the classroom. Rushing so much in fact, that he broke free from my grip and ran straight towards the classroom leaving me to walk towards the class on my own, all the while laughing to himself playfully.

"Ass!", I jokingly shouted after him, as he ditched me to run inside the school building. I chuckled to myself lightly as I rubbed snow from my jacket. I probably sound stupid but I truly didn't realise that this place would have so much snow... even if it is high up in the mountains. I slowly continued my walk to the classroom, making sure to take in as much of the air before I was forced to spend time in the captivity of the class room. I was really enj-

"Hey give that back!", I shouted as I swung round, desperately grasping on to my hat which had just been ripped from my head. On the opposite side stood Craig Tucker, smiling sardonically with his hand clamped around my beanie hat, desperately holding it with all his might. I smiled back sarcastically, before pulling on my hat to try and release it from his hands. It didn't budge.

"What's your problem?", I asked in an aggravated tone. He looked at me blankly as if it was obvious what was his problem. I guess it was obvious. I was his problem. Me and my big mouth that had got us sentenced to a weekend at some stupid club in the forest. I sighed in annoyance. "What do you want Craig".

"Your hat", he stated. He neither said it in a friendly or a threatening tone. He just said it. No emotion behind his voice.

"Well you can't have it", I replied matter-of-factly as I tugged on it a second time. This time I felt my hat slide slightly out of his hand but he managed to tighten his grip just before I could manage to retrieve it. He smirked at his triumph, teeth showing in a wide grin. I rolled my eyes at this and just decided that I'd let him win to lessen the chance of him beating the crap out of me again.

"Fine", I said as I let go of my hat and turned to make my way towards the school. The initial look on his face was one of shock, but he masked it almost instantly standing there awkwardly in the playground. I left him standing there, his hand clenched on an item of clothing I'd probably never see again, but this was still a success. I'd managed to find a way out of getting my ass kicked. Who ever said brawn beats brains needed a kick in the teeth.

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"Well hello how can I help you?".

"I need a room at this establishment for the whole month if that's okay".

"A month? Okay let me check... I'm sorry sir but we've got a class of 4th graders coming in this weekend meaning that no rooms will be available until after they've left on sunday evening".

"What? But I need a room! It's very important you get me a room".

"Why is it important mister...".

"Mister Gore, and that's classified but I need to use a room here. I'm super serial".

"Okay Mister Gore, I'll see if we can fit you into a room".

"Excellent".

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I slowly entered the class room and walked towards my desk. Everyone else had already found their seats, (Excluding Craig of course). Red smiled at my arrival, to which I replied with a half-hearted grin. I swung my bag under my desk and slumped backwards into my seat. Luckily Mr Garrison hadn't noticed me walking in late as he was too busy sketching something onto the chalkboard.

"W-What's up?", Butters asked, obviously picking up on my lowered demeanour. I shook my head lightly letting him know that I wasn't going to explain any time soon, but I threw a compromising smile his way. I surveyed the room, mostly to find something different to focus on so that I could get my mind off of how mad my mom was going to be when I told her I had lost my hat somewhere. It was better not to tell her the truth... right?

"What are you looking at buttfucker", spat Cartman as he glared at me. I shook my head lightly, realising that I must've been staring at him when my mind wandered to my mom losing her shit.

"Sorry Eric". He went to say some remark, but paused, his eyebrows lifted as if showing that he was surprised my something but they soon returned to their natural place. He must've been stunned into silence that I hadn't insulted him back or something.

"You best be Frenchie".

Or not. To his surprise I chuckled lightly, as for some reason I found the situation itself rather funny.

"Are you laughing at me old chap?", Pip whispered when he turned his head from the next seat to me. This was the first time he had spoken to me since the swearing fiasco on my yesterday. He had the oppurtunity to talk to me for the entirety of the afternoon yesterday, and the entirety of this morning. But he had entirely blanked me up until this point. I stared at him curiously, as he waited for an answer.

"No".

"Are you sure my good fellow? I could've swo-".

"You swore wrong then".

"Oh. It was nice talking to you anyw-"

"Shut up Pip". As much as I would've loved to have told Pip to shut up, it was infact Cartman who had commanded it.

"Righto", he whispered sadly, as he stared down at his desk. Cartman went to say something again, but chose to stare at Craig who had finally decided to walk into the classroom. Once Craig had sat down at his desk Cartman turned on his seat to position himself better for the upcoming conversation.

"Where you've been", Cartman questioned as he rested his head on his hand. All he recieved in reply was Craigs middle finger. Of course, Cartman did not appreciate this in the slightest. "I was being nice you black asshole!", He spat. I scrunched my nose up at his choice of vocabulary, but continued to watch the upcoming conflict with glee.

Glee you ask?

Well it's not everyday that the two people you hate most, begin to verbally attack each other right infront of your face. To me... This was my equivalent of Disney Land.

"I never asked you to be nice", Craig said non chalontly, as he scaveged through his bag to find his school book. Cartman continued to glare.

"Someone's got sand up their vagina huh?", Cartman laughed. The insult was directed at Craig, but Cartman was looking at me, expecting me to back him up and agree or atleast laugh. As if to force me to pick a ultimatium, Craig looked up at me, a calculating look on his face.

Oh shit. Were they waiting for me to pick a side? Shit I think they were.

I scratched the back of my head as the tension thickened around me. I chuckled nervously to myself, hoping that they'd both give up and just go back to arguing amongst themselves for my entertainment.

"Hey! I said someone's got sand up their vagina!", Cartman repeated with a more aggressive tone. I faked a laugh, but both Cartman and Craig knew it wasn't genuine. I could tell because a little smirk hit Craig's lips, while Cartman rolled his eyes and glared at me. All the while, I could feel my face heat up and turn crimson. Oh the joys of being a nervous red-head. Almost anything could get this reaction out of me. I forced a nervous smile at the both of them before turning back around in my seat to avoid any more mortifying embarrasment.

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"So this is your room Mr Gore. We at the Stark Forest Appreciation Travel Camp & Lodge would like to wish you the best on your 'secret' mission, and we hope that the room is to your liking", came the drawl of a very bored and disinterested staff member. His voice showed the negative and depressed mood his was currently encased in.

"It's okay I guess. Especially considering how small this place is...", Al Gore said, mainly to himself. The staff attendant held his hand out, rudely and wordlessly asking for a tip from the ecstatic Al Gore. He didn't receive any money however, instead he received a high five. The look of disgust on his face went unnoticed by Al Gore who was still surveying his miniscule room.

"How come there's four beds?".

The attendant sighed loudly, trying to get across the point that he was in no mood to answer any questions. The message however did not make it's way to Al Gore, who was instead smiling happily while waiting patiently for an answer.

"Michelle told me the she'd told you all of this already".

"Who is Michelle?"

"The woman you spoke to on the phone earlier".

"Oh yes... continue". The attendant held his nose in aggravation.

"Look. A school class are coming this weekend, and now because of you they have one less room". Al Gore smiled, feeling no remorse or regret for the fact that he made a school lose a room they had probably already paid for.

"They'll thank me when I catch the elusive ManBearPig". This was Al's justification clearly.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they will", the attendant mocked as he crept out of the room into the hallway so that he could almost run towards the reception. "Michelle! I thought you said we weren't taking in wack-jobs any more".

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"You're a dirty assrammer".

"I'm interested in why you think that".

"I don't think. I know... Hey! Don't flip me off you son of a bitch".

"Well then don't call me an assrammer fatass".

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned God dammit!".

Yes. This was fun. This was enjoyable. This was improving my day greatly. Well. It was already a good day seeing as I had become friends with Tweek and Red who I shou- Now is not the time for this Nathan. You're meant to be basking in this amazing feeling that you're feeling. Basically this was a great day. I don't think how this day could possibly get any better. I mean, how contrasting is this day compared to yesterday? Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life but today... today was amazing. I couldn't think of a better way to end off my school day, then hearing the two kids I hate most argue amongst themselves. This time I had made sure to continue staring towards the front of the class so that I couldn't be involved with the argument again.

"Well atleast my mom isn't on the cover of crack-whore magazine".

"Er-Wha?".

"You heard me fatass".

"My mom is not on the cover of crack-whore magazine so shut your God Damn Hippie mouth"

"Make me".

"I'll kick your ass Craig".

"I'd like to see you try".

"If you don't shut your mouth, you're going to see me try".

"Key word being try".

"Key word being try", Cartman mimicked.

"Nice. Real mature". By now, I was holding my hand over my mouth to stop myself from bursting into hysterics. Craig hadn't really been offended at all during the argument. He seemed to remain calm and collected no matter what Cartman through his way. Meanwhile, Cartman was easily wound up by the things Craig would say... even though the things that Craig said weren't really offensive, they were just sarcastic mockings that showed how little he truly cared for the argument. I quickly tightened the grip on my mouth when I accidentally let out a snort of a laugh. Almost instantly, Cartman kicked my chair causing it to move forward a bit. I turned around on my seat, still giggling uncontrollably.

"Stop laughing at me, you no soul daywalker", Cartman spat venomously.

"You sure told him", Craig added sarcastically, making it very clear that he was not finished tormenting Cartman. His reply caused Cartman to blush and glare at him evily, which of course, only caused me to laugh that little bit more. Of course, Cartman did not like this and turned his attention back to me.

"Respect my authoritah!", he ordered in all seriousity, his voice raising in volume slightly. I held my hand to my mouth to try and control my laughter, but I failed to keep it contained, meaning I continued to laugh.

"This is all your fault Craig you nappy baby!", Cartman pointed accusingly towards Craig, while gesturing towards my uncontrolable laughing with his other hand.

"Nappy Baby?", Craig asked himself sarcastically, "If you're using insults like that, then I'm pretty sure you don't need my help at becoming a laughing stock". The look of absolute hatred and anger spread on Cartman's face lingered for about five seconds before his face returned to normal. No. To a sly and smug smirk. What had he got planned?

"I'm a laughing stock Craig, hmm?". Craig made no effort to reply, he just continued to stare at Eric, obviously wondering the same thing I was. "You're the one that's all faggy about a guinea pig. If that's not something to laugh about, I'm not sure what is". Hurt. A hint of it flickered across Craig's face before it returned back to unemotional. Again, he decided not to reply. "Stripe was it? You know what I'd like to do with Stripe Craig?". I looked from Cartman to Craig, his hands gripping his desk, his knuckles turning white.

"Eric. Maybe... Maybe you should just call it quits", I suggested quickly. I had enjoyed this little scene, but realising that something was physically causing Craig to shake with rage made me feel terribly guilty and terribly worried. More for Cartman then for me.

"Yes", Craig mumbled through clenched teeth. "Maybe you should". Cartman ignored Craig's semi-threat, choosing to intimidate him further.

"I'll tell you what I'd like to do with Stripe Craig. Nathan, you listen up too and tell me whether it's a good idea".

"No. No Eric I. I'm staying out of this. Just drop it Cartman".

"C'mon Nath. Don't be such a pussy shit. What's this fag going to do about it". Obviously Cartman had forgot that Craig had been the leader of the group that had beaten me up no more than 24 hours ago.

"Eric. Seriously. I don't want no part in this". By now Craig himself was shaking lightly. His jittering very much resemberling Tweek Tweaks from earlier today. I could totally see where this was going, and I wanted to be no where near when shit hit the fan. Eric positioned himself closer to Craigs table, his head inches away from Craig's. I looked at Craig searching for a signal of when he was going to snap. He noticed my stare and looked back at me, his eyes glaring into me as if I was the scum of the Earth. None the less I continued looking at him, and mouthed the words 'Calm Down' in the friendliest way I could muster. Again he ignored me, choosing to continue glaring right through me. I backed up on my seat, fully fearing that he was going to punch me into a dust. I looked around the class nervously hoping Mr Garrison had noticed the subdued volume of his class. Most of the other pupils were staring at Cartman, Craig and I obviously realising the same thing I had. Shit was about to go down and they all knew it. Kyle looked at me, his eyebrows flickering into a quizzical position. He was most likely hoping I'd tell him what was going on. Behind him Red and Tweek were sat basically reciprocating what Kyle had been doing. The only difference being that Tweek couldn't maintain eye contact for that look, and continually looked away whenever our eyes made contact. Red's eyes seemed to do the opposite. It was asif her eyes were lulling mine into hers, like my eyes were Bees fluttering towards her nectary irises, buzzin- What the fuck am I talking about? A fight was literally about to happen and I was too busy thinking about bees and nectar. I needed to ask my mom what was wrong with me.

"...I'd like to get a 'stripe' of wire, and wrap it around Stripe's neck", Cartman finished, licking his lips lightly for effect. He looked at me and started chuckling, obviously finding his tacky wordplay amusing. That was, until Craig's fist connected to his face...

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Chapter 5! Some more plot developments. Some more references. A lot more arguing. I'm not sure what it is, but writing just has a relaxing quality to it that I can't describe. Today I broke up from 6th Form for the Easter Holiday, so inbetween relaxing and revision, I'm going to be writing more of this story alot more often. I'm also planning on going through all the chapters and correcting typo's and the such when I've done a couple more chapters. So yeah, I've got that to look forward too. Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, and thanks again for all the follows, favourites and reviews, you guys are what inspires me and you guys are the best!

On another point... I had a weird dream the other day, and I'm not sure what's wrong with my head. I dreamt that I was the King of Canada, and that I, for some reason, was also the owner of a theme park. I mean... What does that even mean? I'm not even Canadian, I'm English... Does Canada even have a royal family? If they do, does the royal family like rollercoasters? I'm pretty sure I need a therapist or something.

Disclaimer; Guess what... I still don't own South Park. I almost may aswell mention that DisneyLand is owned by Disney... So yeah, just in case you thought I did own it... I dont.