Unfortunately, Snape never was fired. A great pity, considering he's a grade A prat. Of course, you already knew that. Don't look at me like that, you know it's true.

I very nearly got another detention from him. Molly would have roasted me alive, then probably ate me, she's a weird woman, that one.

Not to matter, right now I am in search of the twins, food, or both. I'm in no mood to be fussy.

You probably want to know why I need to find the twins, well you nosy, nosy thing, you. I'll tell you. "Filch for Minister of Magic" is a hit, we know that from last chapter, right? Snape was getting blamed by old Toad face herself.

Well I was... eh, to say it lightly, 'approached' by none other than my favourite Slytherin, Draco Malfoy, who, only with the support of three other, and rather large, Slytherin's behind him, thought he would try insulting me.

Ha. Oh how I chortle at his delightfulness.

"Oi, Mudblood!" he said, so original, bet he was proud of that one. "So, tell me. Is it true you had to shag the entire Gryffindor Quidditch team to get in?"

Is it just me, or does anyone else remember his father buying his son's way into Slytherin's Quidditch team? Anyway, you have to admit, that would be quite a feat, especially as there are two very straight females on the team. Did he mean all at once? Because if that's the rumour then why am I not getting congratulated, I would have really brought some unity into our lovely little team-y. Maybe he meant one at a time, in the space of a week or so. Who knows, thinking about it. I could have asked. Darnit.

I turned to face him, my head held as high as a very high thing. "Tell me, Draco. I've been meaning to ask for a while now. If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

Of course, I know how that would work. They would be, but I'm not ruining my fun with a silly little thing such as logic, now am I? No, is the answer you're looking for.

After spluttering about for ages he finally left me alone, thank goodness. Anywuggles, to tie this all up, the Slytherin's are all very angry with me, as they're being blamed for "Filch for Minister of Magic". So they're trying to upset me. Haven't they been informed that I'm mad? Their tedious words have no affect on me.

But right... I don't know where I was going with this. If I was even going anywhere.

Oh yes! Twins. I need to find them and tell them. They always enjoy others pain and humiliation. I'm pretty sure that's why we're best friends.

Never mind. Tomorrow's Saturday. Ya know what that means? That meeting Hermione was telling me about. It feels like it was like, 8 months ago or something, but it was only a week ago. Funny.

I'm sure you all know about it, and therefore don't need me to explain it to you.

Gosh, I'm bored.

I hate walking.

I'm telling you. I'm eagerly awaiting the day where Muggles develop the technology to replace my legs with wheels.

Finally, the day of the Hogsmead trip has come. Fred, George, Lee and my wonderful self all headed down into the small village to shop around before going to the Defence against the Dark Arts meeting that was being held today at about 1ish.

"Who do you reckons going to show up?" asked Lee, who was holding his short dreadlocks on top of his head with one hand while scratching his chin with the other. "You don't think, she's going to pop up unexpectedly , do ya'?"

"Doubt it," Fred replied, "It's not like any Slytherin's have been invited."

"I think it'll be a good idea to keep an eye out for anyone suspicious looking though," George said.

"Who better to look for suspicious people than us, the most suspicious looking goons in Hogwarts" I added.

Before we entered Zonko's joke shop I caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione passing by us. I hope they realised how suspicious they're looking. Whispering to each other, looking around nervously and jumping at little sounds. If I were Umbridge I would follow them. Actually, If I were Umbridge I would get myself arrested, then I could be me again and... I wonder if Hermione still has any of that Polyjuice Potion left over.

Anyway, after we finished shopping in Zonko's, each of us carrying bags full of merchandise we made our way down the road, past the post office towards The Hogshead. We entered the building just after Ginny and a tall skinny, blond boy I vaguely recognised as being a member of the Hufflepuff Quidditch team.

Everyone crammed in tightly, making way as Fred, George and I made our way towards the bar.

"Err, Hi," said Fred, reaching the bar first and counting everyone in the room quickly, "could we have... twenty-seven butterbeers, please?"

"Make that twenty-six," I said, quickly.

The barman glared at us, then, throwing down his dish rag irritably he started to get the butterbeer's, looking as though he had just been interrupted from doing something very important.

"Cheers," said Fred, handing them out, "cough up, everyone, I haven't got enough gold for all these..."

I watched as the group started fishing in their pockets for coins, he didn't even ask if everyone wanted one, am I the only one slightly put out by this?

Everyone was getting seated as I leaned in and said "the usual, thanks Ab," he nodded as he got out the fire whiskey and opened the bottle for me. I placed a gallon on the counter before heading over to my seat near the back of the group and took a sip, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Hermione stood up and started explaining why she (not Harry) had thought it would be a good idea to start this 'club' as she dubbed it.

"Well... that's the plan, anyway," said Hermione. "If you want to join us, we need to decide how we're going to -"

"Where's the proof You-Know-Who's back?" said the blond Hufflepuff player in a rather aggressive voice.

"Well, Dumbledore believes it-" Hermione began.

"You mean, Dumbledore believes them." said the blond boy, nodding to Harry and myself.

"Who are you?" said Ron, rather rudely, thank goodness.

"Zacharias Smith." said the boy, "And I think we've got the right to know exactly what makes you say You-Know-Who is back."

"Why do you have the right? Were you there? You have no right to know anything, I'll give you a right to sit back down before I shove a knife up your bottom." I said, standing up. Lee grabbed my shoulder and forced me to sit back down.

Hermione tried to tell him in a polite way (I'd like to think)to shut up, because that's not what the meetings about.

Harry interrupted, "What makes me say You-Know-Who's back?" he asked, looking Zacharias straight in the face. "I saw him. But Dumbledore told the whole school what happened last year, and if you didn't believe him, you won't believe me, and I'm not wasting an afternoon trying to convince anyone."

Oooh, what sass!

"All Dumbledore told us last year was that Cedric Diggory got killed by You-Know-Who and that you brought Diggory's body back to Hogwarts. He didn't give us any details, he didn't tell us exactly how Diggory got murdered, I think we'd all like to know-"

"Oh" I scoffed, "I didn't realise the world revolved around you! We're such bad people for not sharing a traumatising experience with you. How much would you like to know. Because Cedric landed at my feet when he was hit with the curse, so I can really go into detail, if that's what you want!"

Of course, I was being very sarcastic, but Harry still interrupted me.

"If you've come to hear exactly what it looks like when Voldemort kills you, then I can't help you, and neither can Jess." Harry said, looking at me pointedly, his temper peaking. "I don't want to talk about Cedric, alright? So if that's what you're here for, you might as well clear out."

Harry cast an angry look in Hermione's direction, as though he felt it was her fault, then cast the same look at me.

What a douche.

Hi, woops, it's been a while huh?

Anyway, I still love everyone who reads my fanfictions, so pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease review? And I'll write the next asap! Promise!

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