This chapter is a little different and a lot longer. I wanted to get into the thought process of both Myka and Helena, told from their point of view. I hope it reads ok this was another chapter I'm not sure about.

I own nothing. All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy it.

The Time is Now

Myka

I toss my phone on my bed and lay back with a deep breath. Ok now that I have taken the first step, it's all about the hurry up and wait now. What am I suppose too do for the next two days outside of wearing a hole in my floor.

What do I say to her? I have so many questions especially about why she moved, what happened with Nate not that I care but I'm curious. What caused the sudden change of heart to leave Nate? How long has she lived in Featherhead and why hasn't she reached out? I just don't understand why she couldn't at least call me.

No, no I can't do this right now I will ask these questions later, I really need to focus on telling her how I feel first, the rest will come. One thing at a time Bering, one thing at a time.

Damn these are going to be the longest couple days of my life, maybe I can do some inventory to keep busy or we get a ping. I'm hoping for inventory, I don't want to get a ping and it keeps me from doing what needs to be done. Now that it's all set in motion there's no turning back, even if there was I don't want to. The time is now, she has to know how I feel.

I won't go another year without her knowing. If having my cancer scare has taught me anything it's that tomorrow is not promised to anyone and I don't want to waste any more time. I want to tell her how I feel regardless of if she feels the same, at least she will know.

I gather my things and decide to take a shower then off to bed. I really am exhausted, not just physically but emotionally and the next 2 days aren't going to be easy. I'm pretty sure I will try to talk myself out of this….sigh…..I can't not this time.

Helena

I hang up my phone, wow I can't believe she called, I have wanted to pick up the phone and call her so many times. I just didn't feel I had the right after everything I put her through I didn't think I deserved to come back in to her life after the way we left things in Boone.

To see the pain in Myka's eyes obliterated my heart and I put that pain there with my decision to stay, which was wrong on so many levels. But I truly needed the time to figure things out, after Myka left that night I knew that nothing would ever be the same that my time for figuring things out was over. I couldn't just let her go not this time. But because of my cowardice I did just that I let her walk away.

She was right I was kidding myself the life I choose is not who I am. I'm H.G. Wells for Christ's sake how could I have or want a normal life after experiencing endless wonder, after being around Myka. Myka is my normal, my endless wonder.

When she called my heart dropped, at first I didn't' know what to say I have been avoiding this conversation for so long, too long. I know how I feel about Myka but I don't feel I have the right to feel these things.

But I decided in the moment after hearing Myka's sweet voice, no more waiting or wasting time, she has to know how I feel regardless of the outcome. Myka deserves to have answers to why I left, why I stayed away and why I didn't call? She deserves those answers but first I want, no I NEED her to know how I feel.

The next couple of days are going to be hell, but since I have a couple of cases to finish it will help keep me distracted. There's no turning back not now, not ever Myka has to know how I feel. The time is now.

At the B&B

I got my wish it was quiet the past couple of days I had a chance to do inventory which helped me stay distracted but now it's finally the night before I meet with Helena. I'm so nervous and anxious. Not just about telling her how I feel but the fact that the last time I saw her she was living the all American dream or so they say with a white picket fence, boyfriend and child in tow.

Sigh…I still feel the pain of that day, it's hard to think about without getting upset but I can't worry about that right now. All I want is to focus on is Helena and telling her how I feel.

I head down stairs to the kitchen making a cup of tea when Pete walks in I don't hear him at first I'm so caught up in thinking about tomorrow and what will happen when I talk to Helena, that I don't hear him talking to me.

"Mykes."

"Hey, MYKES! Are you listening?"

"Oh….hey Pete I'm sorry what's up?"

"Mykes, what's up with you? You have been distracted lately. What's going on?"

"It's nothing just thinking."

"Come Mykes it's me. What's up?"

I stare at him for a second. I take a deep breath.

"I talked to Helena a couple of days ago."

"WHAT? And you didn't tell me, I'm hurt."

He gives me his puppy dog face and pretends to be hurt. I just shake my head.

"I didn't know what to say. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I called her and she agreed to meet me."

"Of course she did."

"Why do you say that?"

"You know Mykes for the smartest person I know you can be pretty dumb."

I give him a punch in the arm for that.

"Ouch! I'm just sayin' the woman is obviously in love with you. Jeez"

"You don't know that."

"Actually I do. Before she left I saw how the two of you were together. It was like some gravitational pull between the two of you."

"Wow Pete gravitational that's an awful big word for you. Have you been watching Contact again?"

I just laugh and give him a smile.

"HEY! I know big words. I'm not just a pretty face you know, I know some things too."

I laugh again a little harder this time.

"Sure you do Pete, sure you do."

"Look Mykes my point is and I do have one. That anyone who has been around you and HG can see there is more than just a friendship between the two of you, whether you admit it or not."

I'm honestly not sure what to say. I could always feel that but I didn't realize Pete could sense it too. If Pete did then surely Helena could feel it as well or maybe she didn't, maybe it was just me.

"Mykes stop."

"Stop what?"

"I know that look Myka we have been friends and partners a long time. You get that look when you over think something or your trying to talk yourself out of something. So just stop."

I'm at a loss for words, all I can do is stare at Pete.

"Look Mykes you have come this far, don't second guess yourself. You can feel what's right, you know you need to tell HG how you feel so do it. No regrets."

"Yeah. No regrets, your right Pete."

"Yeah I'm right. See not just a pretty face."

I can't help but smile at him.

"Sooooooo…..when is your lady love meeting you and where are you meeting?"

"She's not my lady love Pete."

"She will be."

I just glare he can be such a pain the ass sometimes but I can't help but laugh he really is the best friend anyone could ask for.

"Here tomorrow around 11."

"Hey, hey, hey. No wonder you more uptight than usually."

"OUCH! Mykes that really hurt."

I just give him a smirk. He just laughs and starts to head out of the kitchen.

"Thanks Pete."

"Sure Mykes that's what friends are for. Like I told you no matter what I got you back."

Featherhead

Just as I thought the past couple of days have been hell but thankfully I had a couple of cases to keep me distracted. All I can think about now is how excited, nervous and anxious I feel about seeing Myka tomorrow, those beautiful green eyes that could always see the real me all the way in to my soul.

I really have missed her and I can't believe I wasted so much time staying away from her and fighting my feelings that have been there since the moment we met 4 year ago.

I'm actually really nervous this could play out so many different ways. Myka could be so hurt and angry with me that she could just want this opportunity to meet as a way for her to tell me what she really thinks, how much I hurt her and that after this she never wants to see or hear from me again.

Those thoughts scare me more than anything, my heart sinks, and I can't catch my breath at the thought that, that could be exactly what she wants.

I truly hope that's not it but no matter what I will let Myka control the conversation, all I know is after tomorrow Myka will know how I feel no matter what.