Disclaimer-I don't own Digimon.

-------------------------------------

Looking For Hope

-------------------------------------

"Are you happy?"

"Very."

"You owe me."

"Yes, well, if you hadn't, I could have just destroyed you, anyway."

"I didn't do it because of that fact."

"I know."

"Your jabber is boring me, old man."

There was an odd silence that befell them both.

"Thank you," Marise finally murmured. "Yes, a thank you is in order here."

The boy was quiet. Turning so his back faced the older man, he muttered, "I don't accept it. You're far from welcome."

The grim smile on Marise's lips disappeared. His face was straight as another person came into the room. "Rai," he acknowledged softly.

The boy turned around. "You," he sneered at Rai.

She inclined her head in his direction. "Devimon."

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm as human as you at the moment," he growled.

Rai chose to ignore his comment. Instead, turning to Marise, she muttered, "I'll be seeing him out the door and then we'll be having a long talk." As soon as Marise affirmed this, Rai walked towards Devimon's human form, giving it a small push. "Move it, you damn devil," she snapped, now walking ahead of him.

This is the treatment I get? Why did I even help them? Oh, of course. Because stupid Lucemon is who knows where, formulating his next plan, all because he can't find a new host. He followed Rai quietly, holding himself up in a dignified manner. To her last comment, he remarked, "I never knew angels cursed."

A chuckle escaped Rai. "I never knew devils had manners," she countered.

"You'd be amazed."

"Frankly, I'm not," Rai replied in a dry voice.

For the longest while, as they walked down the corridor, there was silence. Perhaps, thought Rai, because he is here. There were many questions that even she could not answer, and this-why he was helping them-she could not. But maybe he can?

"Go ahead, ask."

Startled, Rai stopped and looked over her shoulder. The boy had stopped as well. "Are you reading my mind?" she demanded, a growing anger overcoming her.

He quickly shook his head and hastily replied in his defense, "It's a guess. Fine, how about this: You ask one question, I'll answer, I ask a question and you answer. Deal?"

She accepted without hesitation. "Fine. Why are you helping us?"

There was a snort. He laughed, "You think we want to work for an idiot? I'm amazed he hasn't blown our cover. But Kimura seems to have figured it out, although he thinks he's wrong. My turn. Do you love him?"

"W-who?" Rai stuttered, mentally slapping herself. That hesitation completely gave her away.

Grinning, the boy replied, "You know who I'm talking about? You do, don't you?" The grin faded, replaced by a serious look.

It was then that Rai realized they had stopped walking. Swiftly turning on her heel, she continued down the hall. "Yes," she whispered softly. "I guess I do."

Chuckling as he followed her, he shook his head. "Ophanimon, you're letting the complexity of human life get to you," commented the boy.

This caused a smile to play on her lips. "Me? What about you and that old hag?"

He stiffened immediately, stopping where he was. "Sh-she completely...gave me away today. I was doing just fine-I was almost ready to fight Kimura. And then...she came." He shivered at the memory.

Rai laughed, leaning against the wall. "Kanaye," she choked, "even you can't escape the complexity of human life."

"Quiet!" barked Kanaye, reddening. "It isn't my fault if it's true, too!"

The amusement quickly faded. Now glaring at him, Rai demanded, "Were you talking about Kako?" She pushed off the wall and walked towards Kanaye, furious.

His smirk reappeared. "Ah, come now, Ophanimon. You know I can't resist a good challenge," Kanaye replied, staring her straight in the eye.

"Find it elsewhere," growled Rai before turning around. "She won't come to you anyway, you know." Her voice was soft, a bare whisper. Kanaye had to stop breathing to hear as Rai continued, "She sees more in him than anyone else. I don't know if it's an actual liking or a mere result. All I know is..."

"He has hope," Kanaye muttered in quiet disgust.

Rai nodded as they approached the door. "Wings of hope...can be found in the strangest of places. Perhaps, in a dream, everything will be revealed in its true light. Now, Devimon, I wish you the best of luck. Good day and good riddance," said Rai, ushering Kanaye out the door before walking back to Marise's room and taking a seat.

Marise's eyes were shut, his breathing shallow. Immediately, Rai recognized what was happening. Her eyes slipped shut and she drew a breath. "Harumi, please...we need a host soon..."

-------------------------------------

Izumi and Takuya sat in Izumi's room, trying to come up with a proper plan. Tomoki and Shinya had walked off, and they had decided that the two could take care of themselves. In the meantime, Takuya proposed that they patch things up between Rai and Hideki.

"I'm telling you, Takuya," Izumi snapped, "we can't interfere! This is between them!"

But Takuya was insistent. "I don't care," he returned.

Izumi sighed, "You realize that things could go horribly wrong and they'll probably end up hating each other more?" She wanted the two to get back together as much as Takuya did, but she knew Rai had her reasons and respected them. For the moment, all she could do is make Takuya aware of the consequences. She knew very well that he would get his way in the end.

To her relief, he nodded solemnly. "I know," Takuya whispered, "but it's worth the try."

"First, though, we need to think this through. I think...we ought to do a little research. How about this-you go with Hideki, make sure he doesn't get drunk. If he does, get anything, and I mean any info you can from him. I'll take care of Rai. I know exactly where to look."

"So we split up from here?"

"Yeah."

"Just one thing." Izumi turned to Takuya, finding a gaze of burning determination obvious on his face. "Exactly what information am I supposed to get from him?"

With all her strength, Izumi fought back the strong urge to slap Takuya then and there. Instead, she dragged him to the front of her house and shoved him out the door. "Any more secrets about Rai, the Digital World, or anything that you can make sense of! Now get going!" she exclaimed, pushing him and then slamming the door shut.

After all, she had her own research to do.

-------------------------------------

Tomoki shivered, and it wasn't because he was cold. No, that was impossible. He was, after all, Kumamon.

Suppressing a sigh, Kouichi turned to him, a worried look on the older boy's face. "Hey, Tomoki, how did you just up and digivolve?" he asked in a murmur.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It just...happened after that light. I couldn't not digivolve and...and Kumamon was just there beside me all of the sudden. So...I had to," he finished lamely He couldn't explain it. It seemed as if he had no choice in the matter-it was just natural.

Kouichi frowned. Tomoki's case was strange. All the others had seemingly randomly gotten their spirits and D-Tectors, and the spirits had always come first. But Tomoki had gotten the same things the other way around.

A second later, Tomoki de-digivolved. His D-Tector was in one hand, while a now obvious book was in the other.

"Bokomon's book," whispered Kouichi. "But how-"

"I don't know!" Tomoki cried. "I don't! Just...don't tell the others, please?" He was desperate. He had to prove himself. Afraid Kouichi wouldn't understand, Tomoki allowed the items in his hands to fall as he clenched his fists and stared at the ground. Tears streamed down his face.

Startled, Kouichi walked up to the younger boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, don't cry. You're doing great, Tomoki." He offered a smile and continued, "And just look. Kumamon's proud to be your partner. There's a reason you got your D-Tector first, and it's a good one, too. Don't cry. We're pretty much nothing with you." There was a solemn look on Kouichi's face.

Finding no lie, Tomoki broke into a smile as well. "Y-you think I'm that much help?" he asked in a bare whisper.

Kouichi grinned and replied, "I know."

The two broke out in laughter. Seconds later, Tomoki realized that Kako and Shinya were there. His face heated up as he met their eyes. "Uh...s-so where are we?"

Only Shinya was staring at Tomoki. Kako's eyes were more fixed at their surroundings. She shivered and stepped back. Quietly, Kako murmured, "We're...in this place...?"

"What place?" Shinya suddenly asked with great interest.

"Shinya? Tomoki...wait-you two! WHAT ARE YOU FOUR DOING HERE?" Kouji screamed in horror.

Kouichi whirled around to come face to face with his twin. Immediately, he brought his hands up in defense. "I swear I didn't do it-what am I saying?" he blurted, shaking his head. Kouichi cleared his throat and clarified, "Escape route lead to here. Wherever here is."

"My backyard?" the younger twin supplied.

"Right," Kouichi replied in haste. "That."

Kouji narrowed his eyes on the four. "What have you been doing, anyway? Stalking Kanaye?" he guessed. To his surprise, they all nodded. "Is that B-"

"No," Kouichi interrupted. "You know what? I'm hungry. Does Dad have any food in the fridge that isn't spoiled?" he asked, walking over to Kouji and placing an arm on his brother's shoulder as they walked back towards the house. Hiding a smile, the other three followed.

-------------------------------------

"Amazing..." Kouichi murmured in awe. "Most of it's almost expired. I thought Dad was responsible..." Shrugging, he began sorting through the fridge, taking almost everything out.

"So," Kako murmured, arms folded on the kitchen table, "what've you been up to, Kouji?"

Kouji looked at the ceiling as if trying to hide his face from everyone. "Uh, well I was checking on the garden," he lied. "And...cleaning my room."

At this point, Shinya began to cough. "Lie alert," the boy snorted. Tomoki smiled.

"If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine," Tomoki murmured, staring appreciatively at the brown paper bag wrapping that covered the book.

For a while, Kouji was silent. There was an occasional mutter of "Expired," from Kouichi, who was looking for some food to cook. All the time in the Digital World, not even once had he seen Tomoki as sure and brave as he did now. There was always the slightest hint of fear in the younger boy's eyes. But now, it was as if he had become a completely different person. The silence that soon began to emanate from everyone else suddenly alerted Kouji. He faced his brother, who was staring blankly at a bag of carrots. Tentatively, Kouji called out, "Kouichi?"

With the same blank eyes, Kouichi met his brother's gaze. "Mmm...huh?" he mumbled incoherently, shaking his head. Now focused, Kouichi returned to the fridge. There was a strange thought that occurred, one that he couldn't shake away. But realizing it wasn't the best time, all Kouichi could do was wait.

Kako, noticing the uneasy air, asked, "Anyone know what happened to the rest?" She was curious, at the least. Something told her that Rai and Hideki had actually gone out. Even though Rai continuously pushed him away, she did always give Hideki a chance.

Shinya began coughing again, and Tomoki fell silent. Noticing their reaction, Kako turned to them. "Yes?" she asked, eyes boring into Tomoki's.

"Rai and Hideki-they...had a fight," the boy whispered in a barely audible voice. He continued, almost even quieter than before, "It started when Shinya, Takuya, Izumi and I came. And then...then Rai left. And Hideki soon after. I don't know about anyone else, though."

"Junpei ought to spend more time with us," Kouji realized, shaking his head. Smirking, he added, "I bet he's doing his homework." The bandana boy chuckled and Shinya made a face.

Kouichi cleared his throat, standing up straight. There was a tired look on his face. "I've deduced," he mumbled slowly, "that we have absolutely nothing edible in the fridge. Even the milk is outdated. And the ice cream, too." Taking a small portion of the pile of food on the kitchen counter, he looked around for the trashcan.

The younger twin walked over and opened a cupboard. "Not my fault," he muttered.

"A fight," Kako repeated in a whisper to herself several times. It didn't seem normal. Well, it did, but for some reason, it made no sense. She shook her head.

Kouichi noticed this and asked, "Something wrong?" Quickly, he disposed of the food before washing his hands and taking a seat in the chair beside her. The answer was obvious; he had been paying attention to what Tomoki had said.

She looked at him, a mix of worry and a fight to keep calm on her face. "Normally when they fight, it's just for a day. The next day, Rai apologizes, or Hideki gives a dramatic apology and tries to-well, that isn't the point. But this fight...I don't know. It feels more serious, and I'm worried," Kako sighed.

It was at that moment that Kouichi remembered the diary. His hand brushed over it for a second. He was tempted to give it to her then and there, but knowing full well that it would lead to the curiosity of Kouji, Tomoki, and especially Shinya, he decided against it. Instead, he gave her a small smile and reassured her with a quick, "I'm sure they'll be fine." It was a lie. He had no idea how Rai and Hideki worked, and he wasn't very sure he wanted to.

In return, Kako just smiled. It was obviously forced, but none of the boys said anything on the manner. Shinya stood up. "Well, if everyone's done talking, can we go eat now? I feel like I haven't eaten all week!" the boy exclaimed, a hand flying to his stomach and patting it.

"A true Kanbara." Kouji rolled his eyes.

Defensively, Shinya muttered, "Well if you had a near death experience, wouldn't you be hungry?"

The bandana boy grinned. "So long as I had the necessities of life, I'd be good. And you know what they are. Games..."

"Games," Shinya muttered with a nod.

With a grin, Tomoki concluded, "And games!"

"Give me a break! What are games without food?" Kouichi argued, rolling his eyes.

The three boys burst out into laughter. "No, no...they have a point," Kako declared. "But my version would be games, food and-and...and something. No idea what," confessed the girl.

Seizing the time as an opportunity to thoroughly embarrass Kako and Kouichi, Kouji asked in an innocent voice, "What? Kouichi?"

Kouichi nearly choked and Kako shrieked. As she stood up, Kouji's face fell. Not good, he realized, dashing out the door with Kako at his heels. "Kouichi, lock up for me!" the bandana boy screamed as he threw the gate door open.

Still trying to get over the shock, Kouichi nodded. "Let's...just go. And not a word of this to anyone," he growled, mainly to Shinya.

Shinya and Tomoki exchanged grins. "Oh, right," Shinya agreed. "Not to anyone."

-------------------------------------

Junpei winced as he was thrown back on the wall. He had half a mind to digivolve, but he wasn't sure it would be so wise.

"So, what's the matter, Shibayama? Helpless now that your freshmen friend can't bust you out of this mess?" one of them sneered.

His eyes slid shut as they slugged him again. "R-Ritsuo, you know he's not just a freshmen," he stuttered. There was a hope of getting help from at least Ritsuo. After all, the older boy was the one who had taken the time to know Junpei and had stayed out of the drug crimes the others committed.

But now, there seemed to be no hope. In response, Ritsuo merely grunted and drove his fist into Junpei's stomach. Junpei choked, doubling over. He felt like throwing up. Ritsuo walked up to Junpei and hissed, "I assume you'll be joining us, isn't that right?"

All he could do in response was scream as one of them yanked on his hair. Why can't I digivolve? Tears fell down his face, clearing the dirt from his eyes. When at last they dropped him, Junpei drew a shaky breath. Blitzmon...I'm sorry. I'm just plain worthless, Junpei thought, choking as a foot was brought down on his back.

"Remember, Junpei. Your contract isn't over."

The footsteps faded into the distance. For the longest time, Junpei lay there, trying to regain his normal breathing pattern. "Blitzmon," he croaked a while later. "D-do you think I should have digivolved?"

Silence met him. But Junpei knew Blitzmon was there. Perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps he should have digivolved. To Junpei, digivolving would have been the same as outnumbering them with guns. It was wrong. He couldn't just attack them. Shakily, he rose to his feet and wiped his eyes, a small smile on his lips. "W-well...let's go."

It would be a harsh month, he realized, but he was up to the challenge. After all, Takuya managed to survive as Kanaye's lackey. Why couldn't he?

-------------------------------------

The long weeks that passed by tormented Rai as she recalled every word of her conversation with Marise. They haunted her like an endless song. An annoying song, she thought, slamming the papers on the desk absentmindedly while glaring at them. "Class dismissed," she growled, irritated when the bell rang.

Quickly and silently, the class scurried out, Kako and the twins last.

"I'm still not forgiving you for that comment!" Kako declared, kicking Kouji's shoulder.

"Ow!"

"So you better apologize!"

"OW!"

"And hope I accept!"

"OW! KOUICHI CALL YOUR GIRLFRIEND OFF!"

"She's not my girlfriend!" Kouichi screamed.

Rai's face fell as they exited. The pain burned brighter than ever. Hideki, the restaurant, Marise...she wished none of them existed. It seemed to lead her to greater pain than she needed to be in.

And it was even worse to remember Marise's words.

-FLASHBACK-

"Now, Rai," rasped Marise as he sat up straight. "What can I do for you?"

"We need to talk about Hideki." Her voice was steady, but she realized that if they went too deep on the matter, she would shatter. She had to keep it to the point if she wanted to play it safe.

Marise let out a sigh. "Rai, you know you shouldn't push him away like that. He'll come back," he murmured.

She held a defiant look on her face. "No," growled Rai, "he won't! I don't want him to! Just tell him to stay away from me!" She knew she sounded childish, but she couldn't help it.

Silence overcame her when Marise turned to her, eyes piercing into her. He was aiming for her soul, she knew, and there wasn't much she could do to stop him. This time, he seemed to hold back. There was a slight hint of pity in his eyes, one Rai was growing to hate. He stood up, holding out a hand when she came to help for him. In a firm voice that was gentle at the same time, he asked, "Did you know Harumi did that to me the first time I met her? The very first second that I approached her to ask if she had an eraser, she told me-threatened me-by saying, 'If you ever fall in love with me, Seraphimon, I'll kill you.' But that was why I loved her."

Rai knew what was coming next. She hated it. The truth was unbearable, and she accepted that fact. But when Marise used it against her, it was equivalent to being tortured by being put in the same room with a quiet Hideki. Guilt. Yes, it brought guilt.

He continued, "You know that is why he loves you. You can understand him. What do you think would have happened, Rai, if I married someone other than Harumi? How would I explain my sudden death? I couldn't. It would be impossible. With Harumi, I could easily accept the fact that we'd both die. Of course, Aizawa disapproved greatly. But sometimes, there is no point of return. Angels choose their commitments wisely, but there are times when duty should not get in the way of love, Rai. You're blinded with your duty. There is more in life for you to do." A smile broke through his face.

Her eyes filled with anger. "If you are in any way suggesting I marry and have children, no, Marise, I think my work is enough," she growled. Rai sighed and shook her head. "Why did you have to hold back? You should have just allowed Seraphimon to move on."

Marise shook his head. "There is a reason," he replied softly. "Hideki...his wings were ready from the start. But when they failed him, he lost all hope. That is why I could not allow Seraphimon or myself to move on. Now, however, I see new wings unfurling. Soon, with enough training, they'll be ready. Perhaps the Digital World will no longer be parallel to our world. Perhaps all parallels will vanish. I cannot be sure, Rai, but I know this. Hideki is waiting for you, even now. I suggest you spend your time with him as best as you can."

She was about to open her mouth, but he stopped her with a raised hand and said, voice growing in volume, "Separating yourself from him will only worsen the pain. Regret is one thing that isn't wanted in a parting. Don't let either of you regret not spending time together, Rai." Inhaling sharply, he collapsed back in his seat. "And now, I should rest. Whatever your choice, Rai, make sure you don't regret it later."

-END FLASHBACK-

Rai fell back in her chair, tears streaming down her face. The past few days had been utter hell for her. Looking at Kako or anyone for that matter somehow linked back to Hideki. It hurt her. She was already beginning to regret everything. But she couldn't. If she did, he would hurt more.

Or was Marise right? Would he accept her death more easily if she spent more time with him?

The thought triggered more tears to flow down, stinging her eyes. Rai coughed and sniffed, grabbing a tissue and quickly wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. I hate talking to Marise, she realized, slumping back in her seat. He always has to be right. I wonder how Harumi felt being married to him.

The thought of a happy life with Hideki...

Rai stood up, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. She looked out the window and shook her head. "I need to get lunch," she muttered.

The thought of being by his side, not as Ophanimon, but as herself...

She walked out the door after turning off the lights. As she locked it, a thought occurred to her. Perhaps she could talk to Hideki today, if she knew what random job he was at. Over lunch, even.

Those thoughts were what brightened her life, much like the sun would the sky.

A warm feeling flew through her as she took a step forward. One day, Hideki, maybe I can accept those words...just give me time, and maybe...one day...

She wanted to be with him.

I will be kind to you someday. It's a promise.

-------------------------------------

A/N-

Not much to say other than the chapter feels short, but…oh. Next chapter might seem choppy. There'll be a lot more flashbacks, too, I guess.

Thank You for the reviews because they were awesome and helped me get the Ch. 17 done-

Lady Hikari-Yami, Catwarrior, Winter's Light, GemmaniGirl, The Light's Refrain

Review or PM or Flame.