Unstoppable
A Kim Possible Fanfic by
Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)
Chapter 6: The Weapon, Part 4
True to his word, Yono remained by Hana's side throughout the day as she slept. This made things fairly tense, as Ron insisted on staying with them. Kim couldn't really blame him for being worried, but this was interrupting her honeymoon, and she was already making plans for a do-over. Although, about the only chance they wouldn't get interrupted by something was if they honeymooned on a space station. And while that actually was a very real possibility, Kim did not think her father would appreciate being known as the first man to send his daughter into space to have sex.
The whole time, Yono barely moved at all. Like Hana, he seemed to be in a state of deep meditation, although unlike her, there was no visible magic circling his body. But then, Kim didn't need to see it to know it was there. Yono was one of the few beings that had bested her with no real effort, and whether his strength was natural or magic-based, she knew she wasn't even in his league. And even if she had been, she had no way of guarding against being turned to stone.
Yono suddenly opened his eyes and spoke. "The Han is sufficiently recovered and will wake shortly. Our business is complete, for the moment." He reached out and brushed his hand over her right hand, instantly removing his mark from her skin. Without another word, he simply vanished from the room.
Ron frowned and stared at Hana, who looked just as asleep as she had for the past couple of hours. "Do you think he's right?"
Kim shook her head. "Ron, do I have to keep reminding you that you're the resident expert on all things mystical whenever Hana is unconscious? Your best guess is worlds better than mine at this point."
"I think if he wanted to hurt us, he would have. He didn't even try to fight us, or sink the boat. That's improvement, for him. But it doesn't change the fact that we haven't heard from Monkey Fist since Yono dealt with him. He's dangerous and I'm not about to trust him with my baby sister."
"I wouldn't expect you to," Kim replied, squeezing his hand. "But from all indications, Hana has put a lot of trust in him, and I intend to find out why, when she should know better."
Wade had outgrown amateur magic tricks long before other kids had, but he still liked to practice a little technological slight of hand every now and then.
Example: Wade's computer screen was divided into four quadrants, each displaying a live feed. The northwest feed was Hana's cabin aboard MC Honey's yacht. The northeast feed was a garage in Montana, where Motor Ed and Slim Possible were happily comparing notes over beer, motor oil, and engine parts. The southeast feed was Dr. Drakken in one of his supposedly more "hidden" Middleton lairs. The southwest feed was Will Du's team as they rapidly closed in on said lair from all sides.
Wade did not feel bad about leading Global Justice to Drakken. For one thing, Drakken had been up to no good: there was no other reason he would have tried to capture Joss's command signal. Especially considering that Shego had gone after the Diablo that said command signal was controlling at the same time.
Wade gently tapped the southwest feed, opening a line directly to Will Du's headset. "You are clear to proceed, Agent Du. You will find Team Go, Electronique, and Dr. Drakken inside the lair, but I can pretty much guarantee that they will not resist too much once you're past the preliminary defenses. They don't want to risk Shego being injured any further than she already is."
"And you still have no idea how she got that way?" Will asked, the suspicion obvious in his tone.
Wade smiled. "No, but Shego has never been one to play nice, or to underestimate herself. Maybe she bit off more than she could chew. It was bound to happen, eventually."
"I have to say, you're being awfully cooperative. Not that you weren't before, but you generally made us work for the intel, rather than just giving it to us. Quite annoying, as I recall."
"Well, it wasn't really fair to you for me to do your job for you. You'd get lazy, or worse, used to me doing it for you. Problem is, I don't work for you, and in case you forgot, my boss is the jealous type. Now, I doubt they'll be able to call in any reinforcements, but I'll keep my eyes peeled while you're inside. You won't need it, but good luck."
"Much appreciated," Will responded crisply. "Agent Du out."
"Shego, you need to wake up."
"Wubsie?" Shego murmured, a sappy smile spreading across her face. "Cuddle time?"
There was a frustrated groan, and someone gently slipped a hand into her hair. "Shego, you need to wake up and make sense again. We're running out of time."
"I'm tired, Wubsie," Shego whined, flopping her head weakly to the left.
There was a sharp tug on her hair, which brought things back into focus with an agony Shego hadn't known she could feel. Nothing had ever hurt that much. Not her, anyway.
"Shego, focus!" a familiar voice hissed.
She blinked several times, and frowned as Dr. Drakken's blue face swam into view. "You hurt me, just now. Now I have to kill you again."
"You can do that later," he snapped. "Global Justice is at our door, and the synthodrones will only hold them off for so long. I need your cooperation so that I can activate Project: S.H.E.L.E. right now!"
"Hate that name," Shego muttered. "You must be desperate, if you're asking."
"Shego, please. There's no such thing as regular jail for people like us anymore. Global Justice is no longer interested in keeping us as trophies. If they catch us, eventually they are going to make us disappear, and when Kim Possible asks too many questions about that, they will quietly make her disappear, as well."
"Can't do that," Shego grunted. "Kimmie's mine to beat."
"Not if we don't do this."
"I swear you got me drunk to agree to this."
"Only one of us had comet power at the time to help them avoid the hangover," Drakken reminded her. "Ready?"
"Did you use breath mints?" Shego demanded.
"Does it matter? You'll only say I didn't either way."
"True. Okay, come here."
In the next second, Electronique burst into the room, ready to warn them that the last of the synthodrones had fallen to GJ's snipers. She froze at the sight that greeted her: Shego, wearing a kind of green and black poncho, still dripping wet from the nutrient bath, passionately kissing Drakken as if their lives depended on it.
Though, according to Drakken, they did.
They broke away after a long moment, Shego looking moody and guarded, while Drakken seemed bashful but focused as he drew a metal toothpick from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.
"Don't tell me: you got her gum?" Electronique asked dully.
Drakken glared at her. "No, I'm operating the tiny data reader implanted in my tooth."
Electronique stared at him, sure she'd heard wrong. "You're... what?"
He sighed. "In order to activate Project: S.H.E.L.E., Shego has to agree. Her key is her DNA."
"...in your mouth. On your tooth."
"Exactly."
"Ugh!" Electronique cried in disgust.
Drakken rolled his eyes. "Really, Electronique. This is hardly the time for that."
"I'll say!"
"It seemed like a good idea at the time. In all the years we've worked together, Shego's DNA has only ended up in my mouth once... that we can recall. It seemed like a safe wager."
"Remember that little talk we had about not telling anyone about that very, very drunken night, Dr. D?" Shego asked coldly.
He laughed weakly. "Ah. Sorry, Shego."
"Can you skip to the part where this all-powerful mystery project shows up and saves us?" Electronique asked. "My memory on my last stay in jail is a bit fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to go back."
"It'll take her some time to get here," Shego sighed. "Best bet, she'll catch us in transit."
"Wait. You said 'she' just now. Project: S.H.E.L.E. is a she? Drakken's been calling it an 'it' this whole time!"
"Because he's an idiot," Shego snorted. "Her proper name is Shelly."
Drakken glared at her. "She is Project-"
"Shelly!"
"You do not name a weapon of mass-"
"A weapon does not have an accident on your mom's favorite rug!"
"It does when it isn't potty-trained yet!"
"Oh, no way," Electronique groaned. "You actually did it."
Shego flinched. "I'm not proud of it."
"Ugh! Not that! Well, yes, apparently you did, but not what I meant. You two had a kid. You two still have a kid! And... wait, she's going to save us?"
"Project-" Drakken began.
"If you call her that again, I will drown you in this nutrient soup that you created," Shego promised heatedly.
Drakken pouted mulishly. "For someone who was so dead-set against the initial idea of... Shelly, you are surprisingly opinionated about this whole thing."
"You think it's a surprise that I don't want to leave raising her to you? Have you even met you? You can't even admit that she's a person! A tiny, adorable person that thinks you're her father! You could at least act like it!"
"That would confuse her and completely throw off her learning process!" Drakken insisted.
"Then maybe you shouldn't have sent her to live with your mom, because I guarantee if she didn't think you were her father before, she does now. All your mom ever does is talk about what a good boy her little Drew-bee is."
Drakken scowled at her. "You swore that you would never call me that, Shego."
Shego rolled her eyes. "Geez, sorry. Wubsie it is."
Drakken opened his mouth to reply, angrily from the looks of it, but something in Shego's expression made him think better of whatever he was going to say. "As I said, there's no time for this. Global Justice will reach us any moment now. Shego, you might want to change into something more fitting."
"I'm not dressing up for them," Shego replied firmly. "If they want me, they can take me how I am. Anybody that gets a case of wandering hands will soon develop a case of severed hands."
By the time Will Du's team burst into the room, all three supervillians were seated calmly on the floor, with their hands extended to be handcuffed.
Will strode right up to them. "Not even going to try to run?" he asked.
"The mere fact that you're here indicates that you've been in contact with Kim Possible's tech man," Electronique stated. "There's no place in Middleton where he couldn't find us within minutes. Running would be pointless."
Will gazed at her for a long moment, then motioned for his men to bring over handcuffs. He glanced at Shego curiously. "We catch you in the shower or something?"
"You wish, Wee Willie," Shego sneered.
Will ignored her and turned to Drakken. "I suppose you have no idea where your cousin is?"
Drakken shook his head. "You might try asking someone in your own organization, Agent Du. Aren't you the only ones who have access to any Diablo robots anymore?"
"Non-cooperative as always, I see. We can try again in the interrogation room."
Hana slowly opened her eyes and stretched, only to find Kim's face glaring down at her from a few inches away. "Oh. Hi, Kim!"
"You made a deal with Yono," Kim said sternly. "You weren't supposed to that. You know that."
"It was just a little deal, though," Hana pointed out with a weak grin.
"No. There are no little deals with Yono. There are just bad ones. This is why you've never actually met Monkey Fist. Because Yono turned him into a statue."
Sighing, Hana reached up and wrapped her arms loosely around Kim's neck. "I know that, Kim. Yono told me. I was talking to him a long time before I ever met him in person. Remember when I told you that when my power speaks to me, it sounds like Yono? Well, replace 'sounds like' with 'is' and you've got it."
Kim gently pulled Hana's arms away and squeezed her thankfully now fur-free hands. "You can't trust him, sweetie."
Hana smiled sadly. "I knew you wouldn't understand. It isn't a question of trust. I know him, Kim. Yono is my other half. Like a long-lost twin brother. Only he's a lot older, really hairy, and not human."
"Hana, Ron is your brother, and a very good one."
Hana nodded. "Right. So you should know I wouldn't lightly call anyone else my brother. And you should also know that because I consider Yono to be a brother, I'm not about to tolerate anyone badmouthing him. Not even you, Kim. So even if you don't like it, please just drop it and trust that it's a mystic thing, so I couldn't even begin to explain it to you. Or better yet, just trust me. You can still do that, right?"
"When Yono is involved, I don't know."
Hana gently grasped Kim's face. "Kim, look at me. Am I evil or a statue? Did Yono keep his word to guard me while I was sleeping? Are my hands still furry? I know what I'm doing here. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd worry, and I didn't want to do that to you on your wedding day."
"What do you have to do for Yono in return? Can you tell me that much?"
"No. But I can tell you this: don't ever make any plans for me on my birthday. In fact, you should get used to celebrating it a day early."
"Why?" Kim demanded at once, pulling away.
Hana sighed heavily. "It's the one time every year I'll have to meet with Yono."
"For how long?"
"A few days, maybe."
"No, how long will you have to keep doing this?"
Hana shrugged. "The implication was the foreseeable future, but I don't mind it."
"What if I do?" Kim asked.
"Sometimes power comes with a price, Kim. I'm paying it. If you really don't want me turning into a statue or Yono, the best thing you can do is let me pay it."
"And you have to do this alone?"
"It would be easier for me, yes. And even if someone was going to go with me, no offense, but it would have to be Ronnie. It's really a mystics only sort of deal."
"I think you don't want me to know what you've become," Kim stated. "I think that's why you won't tell me things anymore. Being sneaky is one thing, but being ashamed is something else."
Hana shook her head. "Not ashamed. But I knew you wouldn't be okay with this, and I didn't want to fight with you over it. I know you're not okay with Yono, and I can accept that. So you coming with me when I go to see Yono is a supremely bad idea."
"And did it ever occur to you that if you're doing something you either can't or won't include me in, maybe what you're doing is the supremely bad idea?"
Hana rolled her eyes. "Yes, but that's not what this is. Kim, I'm really trying not to be annoyed with you right now."
Kim's eyebrows rose. "You're trying? You're trying?! Hana Stoppable, you may think you're too old for me to put you over my knee, but don't think for a second that I wouldn't do it right here and now, especially if I thought a little shame would knock some sense into you!"
"Did... did you really just threaten to spank me?" Hana demanded, torn between disbelief and outrage.
Kim glared at her. "If that's what you heard, I must have said it wrong. It was a guarantee, not a threat. You may be Little Miss Mystic Ninja, but even if I had to train for another lifetime just to put you in your place when you need it, do you really think I would hesitate, even for an instant? You can doubt my reasoning and even my methods, but the minute you start questioning how far I would go to keep you in line, we officially have a problem."
Hana took a slow, deep breath, forcing herself to remain calm, or at least as close to it as she could manage.
"What?" Kim snapped. "You ready for that fight you mentioned, now that I'm in your way?"
"No," Hana said at once. "I'm trying to keep myself from saying something really hurtful. I know you're only this mad because you care, and I'm just reminding myself of that."
Kim paused, eyeing her closely. "I'm impressed," she admitted grudgingly.
"Thank you," Hana replied stiffly, staring hard at the wall. She hesitated, and then murmured, "Would you really do it? Spank me, I mean?"
"I wouldn't like it, but yes. If that's all it would take to remind you of where you come from, why not?"
"And would it be worth what it would do to us, Kim? Because it would tell me that you don't respect me. And I couldn't keep respecting you if you did that to me."
"That isn't how this works, Hana. You don't get to play the equals card, because we're nowhere near that point yet, no matter how much you try to force us there. When I think you're ready, and when you show me that you are, I'll back off. But until then? You're my super-strong kid, and I'll treat you that way. A spanking can't actually hurt you, but it does remind you of our roles: me parental figure, you kid. Not ready-for-missions kid, either."
"Okay, I see the problem now," Hana replied. "Kim, I love that you think of me as your kid, don't ever think that I don't. And I know it's important to treat me that way because of how my power works. But I'm pretty much fully molded now. I'm not going to be another Yono. I know what's right and wrong, and I like right, believe me. You taught me well. But now you need to accept that I've grown up, and because of my power, I do that a lot faster than any kid my physical age. I mean, I should be driving now."
"I could just say no," Kim pointed out. "But instead, I'll ask you to prove that you're ready."
"Really? Great." Hana reached into her pocket and drew out a solid black Kimmunicator. She tapped a few keys, and soon Wade's face appeared on the screen. "Wade, Kim wants proof that I'm ready. Patch us in to Montana, please."
"Sure, Hana," Wade responded. "Uh... sorry about this, Kim," he murmured just before his face vanished, only to be replaced by an image Kim never thought she would see.
"Um... why is my Uncle Slim drinking beer with Motor Ed?" Kim asked. "Why would he even visit Motor Ed in prison at all?"
"Well, that's not actually a prison," Wade admitted.
"Yeah, it looks like Uncle Slim's garage," Kim agreed. "But that can't be right, because Motor Ed is in prison where he belongs."
"No, that's where he was when Yono broke him out," Hana corrected. "That's the favor Yono was doing for me. During the wedding."
Kim glared at her. "Do you need me to explain to you why that was wrong, Hana?"
Hana shook her head. "There are only two things that people like Motor Ed do in prison, Kim: plot to break out, or wait for someone to do it for them. Neither of which helps the good people he victimized, or rehabilitates Ed in any way. But I've found a way to do both. It was pretty obvious, really: Ed likes to build big cars and then wreck stuff with them. Only problem was he wasn't doing it legally."
"Yeah, I can see how a prison break solves all of that," Kim commented dryly.
Hana ignored this. "Motor Ed works for me now, as Team Unstoppable's transport chief. He'll only build what I let him, and he'll only wreck what I point him at. Plus, he'll drive me anywhere I want."
"Does he know that?" Kim asked doubtfully.
Hana smiled. "Just ask him."
By then, Motor Ed had noticed them, and soon his face filled the screen. "Whoa, it's Red! Long time no see, seriously!"
"You don't have to get that close to the camera, Ed," Kim sighed. "I've seen more than enough of your ugly mug."
"Aw, harsh, Red! But seriously, thanks for the boost! I was going nuts in there!"
"And now you're working for Hana?"
"Yeah, Little Mama hooked me up with a sweet deal! All the parts I could want, plenty of room to work, and totally repaying my debt to society! Motor Ed is a changed dude, seriously! Now the mullet is legal mechanic business in the front, and good clean party fun in the back!"
Kim blinked slowly. "Um... yeah. But people are going to notice that you're not in prison."
"Dr. Drakken's taking the blame for that one," Hana added. "We only had to borrow one Diablo from a Global Justice storehouse and do a little overhaul."
"You mean steal a Diablo," Kim corrected. "No way Dr. Director okayed this."
Hana chuckled softly. "Kim, I've learned something. There's only one you, and Dr. Director has basically made everyone believe that's okay. But at the same time, she's done everything in her power to prepare for when you retire. Or for when she does, which I think might be sooner than you realize. She's had a good career, and she was unusually willing to sacrifice it for the greater good. I think that's what makes her so good at her job: she's not concerned about personal gain, just about doing what's ultimately best for everyone."
"You're telling me she gave you a Diablo?"
"I'm telling you she left the keys where Wade could get them, didn't investigate when he took them, and will ask no questions when he puts them and the Diablo back. And don't bother asking her about this, because even unofficially, she won't admit to anything. But that doesn't mean she wouldn't do everything in her power to see HWU go down."
"So she's on your team now."
"Nope. Believe me, I tried to recruit her, but you know how stubborn she can be. Would only commit to occasional assistance, and always on her terms. The team is me, Wade, Ed, and Joss. That's it. But as you know, we do have some rather serious back-up. And there's more."
Kim shook her head. "You have more than Yono and Dr. Director in your pocket? That would have been enough."
"I know you don't impress easy, Kim. But I thought this next one would really convince you." Hana closed her eyes for a long moment, and when she opened them, a hazy, glowing shape appeared next to her, gradually solidifying into a familiar person.
"Master Sensei?" Kim gasped.
"Greetings, Kim-san," the old man said with a respectful nod.
"But I thought you were retired!"
"I am," he agreed. "Which, incidentally, leaves me with quite a bit of free time. So I was all too available when young Hana contacted me in search of spiritual guidance. As you know, it was I who placed her with the Stoppables, and clearly that was the right choice for all involved."
Kim sighed. "And I suppose that means you have full confidence in her abilities?" she asked reluctantly.
"It hardly matters what I think. I am, as you said, retired. Incidentally, it is no longer proper to refer to me as 'Master Sensei' anymore. My years of service to Yamanouchi have secured me an advisory position, but there is a new Master Sensei, and I urge you to no longer address me as such. We must change with the times."
"You could call him 'jii-chan' like I do," Hana suggested.
Kim hesitated. "Uh, I'd be more comfortable with 'Sensei', if that's okay."
He nodded. "That is how many of my former students choose to address me. In any case, if you seek verification that young Hana is ready, you must speak with the current Master Sensei, who is also familiar with this case."
"I suppose you did have to debrief your successor."
"Yes, but hardly at all on this matter. Yori has always been very attentive where Hana is concerned."
"Yori is your successor?!" Kim shouted, then blushed and clamped a hand over her mouth. "I mean," she continued in a softer but shaky tone, "she never told me."
"Yori took the position with great reluctance. I suspect part of the reason was that she did not wish for her relationship with you to change. I would ask that you treat her no differently. I'm sure Yori would prefer that."
"Well, I'll try," Kim promised. "But I'd really prefer to talk to her about this."
"An excellent idea," Sensei agreed. "Yori had other business to attend to in Middleton, so I am sure she has not left yet. I will ask her to extend her stay, so that you may speak with her directly upon your return."
"Is that really necessary, especially now that she's got a ninja school to run? Can't she just contact me through astral projection?"
"Sadly, no. Astral projection is an extremely rare gift, and Yori does not appear to possess it. Even if she did, I suspect your conversation will not be entirely pleasant. It would not be wise to knowingly subject one's mind and body to such stress in that state. As for the school, Yamanouchi is fully capable of functioning without its head for an extended period." Sensei paused and sighed. "Kim-san, I do not think you realize how much Yori treasures the bond that you share. I would not have you gain that understanding while your friendship undergoes such a crisis of faith. Yori has duties to Yamanouchi, some of which you might view as no different as duties to home, school, or country. This is inaccurate. Yamanouchi is indeed her home, and while she has come to see many of her fellow students as family, there is a different light in Yori's eyes when she speaks of you. Whatever you may think about her not informing you, I firmly believe that if any one person could convince her to abandon or betray Yamanouchi, it would be you. I do not even think Stoppable-san could do the same. Yori sees herself in you, and any damage to your friendship would wound her more deeply than you will ever know."
"I actually knew, or suspected most of that," Kim admitted. "I'm annoyed with the secrecy, but I know it goes with the whole ninja thing, and I've had closer friends do worse recently. It would take a lot more than that to make me distrust Yori. And in any case, I'm sure I'll need her help soon. I suspect there will be more than a few trips to Japan in my future."
"I am delighted to hear that, and hope that you will depend on us for your travel needs when the time comes. Our mutual friends in the Nakasumi Corporation are always happy to assist, of course."
"I'll keep that in mind, and thanks for everything, Sensei." They traded respectful bows, and then Sensei's form flickered and vanished.
Hana grinned at Kim. "Well?"
"Fine, I'm greatly impressed. But I'm still asking Yori what she thinks."
"Okay, but do you really think I'd look this confident if she was going to say no?"
"Stop smiling. I'm still mad at you. More importantly, I'm still the boss of you."
Hana pouted. "Until when?"
"Until you stop pouting at me."
"...so always, then?"
Kim chuckled. "Pretty much. Look, Hana: I get that you're growing up, really. And I'll try to ease up on bossing you around. But you have to understand that I love you. And I go to great lengths to keep what I love in mint condition. Yes, I know that it is ridiculously hard to hurt you. But that doesn't mean someone won't find a way, and I don't intend to sit around and let them."
"No offense, Kim, but if I needed someone obliterated, I'd ask Yono. And if someone tried to kill me, let's just say he's gotten used to being a counterpart and has no problem destroying anyone that would threaten that balance."
Kim stared at her. "Are you saying Yono would protect and avenge you, even without a contract?"
"I told you, Kim: I don't call anyone my brother lightly. But just to be safe, I do have an exclusive contract with him. I don't intend to let anyone else become his summoner in my lifetime, so no chance of him being commanded to fight you. And to be honest, he was getting bored in that underground temple, just waiting to be summoned. So I gave him something he never had. I set him free."
"You set Yono the Destroyer free?!" Kim cried.
Hana laughed. "Kim, you forget that I'm his summoner now. He's not going to go around destroying things just because he can. Trust me, I'd know if he was doing that."
"But you don't know what he's doing!"
"I do, actually. I get brief flashes every now and then. Right now, he's on a tropical island with a little umbrella drink. He never had one before, and he wanted to see what all the fuss was about."
Kim gaped at her. "A little umbrella drink? Really?"
"You'd be surprised, the small things an ancient destroyer wants. In some ways, he's a lot like me. I think I'll try to talk him into watching a movie with me, eventually. Something where stuff blows up a lot, so he doesn't lose interest."
"That doesn't sound like a good idea."
"Kim, Yono is old. He's forgotten more about blowing stuff up than any movie could possibly teach anyone. It's not keeping him occupied that would make him more likely to destroy. That's when I get most of my destructive ideas, when I'm bored. Like when I melted your dad's golf cart."
"I still say Jim and Tim were mostly responsible for that. You might have wanted to do it, but they gave you the equipment you needed to pull it off without magic, and they knew to keep you away from scrap metal. Not to mention they were banned from using any lasers for life in third grade."
Doreen Lipsky had grown accustomed to her granddaughter's occasional quirks. The greenish hue to her skin was less occasional and more permanent, but in the proper light, Doreen hardly even noticed it anymore. Shelly had always been quiet and well-behaved, even when she was far too young for either, in Doreen's opinion.
The neighbors talked, of course. They said Shelly was too polite, that a girl her age should know better than to ask permission to eat or go to the restroom every single time. They asked why fireflies continually followed her, even when she remained inside at night. They especially found it curious that Shelly never wore long sleeves, even in the midst of winter months. Doreen could not answer them even if she'd wanted to. Her son Drew had said very little about Shelly when he first brought her by to visit, only that she "required structure" and might benefit from staying over for a few days. When days turned into months and then years, Doreen hadn't complained. In fact, each time Drew called and offered to pick Shelly up, Doreen assured him that depriving a sweet girl of time with her grandmother wasn't the sort of thing a good son like him would do.
At any rate, most of Doreen's questions about Shelly had been answered when Shego started visiting every week, most notably without Drew accompanying her. Doreen had no idea what had happened between Shego and Drew, besides the obvious activity that had produced Shelly in the first place, but their split did not appear to be something that could be easily mended. Shego could be talked into staying for dinner every so often, and she might even share a funny story or ten about Drew, but Doreen could tell that any hope of Shego becoming her daughter-in-law had long since passed. She had an idea that a large portion of this was due to Drew not spending much time with Shelly, which Shego was clearly upset by. Shelly didn't seem to mind it, but then, Shelly didn't seem to mind much of anything. Drew's short, infrequent phone calls appeared to be enough for her, and if Shelly never seeing her parents together bothered her, Doreen hadn't seen any sign of it. Shelly wasn't the type of girl who asked many questions, and preferred to learn through observation. And if asked, she would only say that her parents worked together, which was true enough.
Shego had warned Doreen that Shelly wasn't exactly a normal little girl, and if anything... odd should happen, that it was best to keep her distance and let it run its course. Shelly always apologized promptly after any strange incidents, some of which had been rather unsettling. But Doreen noticed that Shego's regular visits kept these happenings to a minimum, which led her to think that Shelly was acting out largely in order to gain attention from at least one of her parents. So Doreen simply made a note of anything she considered strange, and pointed it out to Shego when she visited. Shego rarely seemed surprised, and confessed that she hadn't been nearly as well-behaved at Shelly's age. Although, Doreen had never been able to pin down Shelly's exact age, and both Drew and Shego were rather tightlipped about it. Schooling had never been discussed, because Shelly often proved to be more intelligent than many adults Doreen knew, and clearly took after her father in that way.
None of this, however, quite explained why Shelly abruptly began to glow bright green in the middle of dinner one evening.
Shelly's only reaction was to say calmly, "Gram, I need to be excused after I finish my peas."
Kim had not been expecting to talk to Yori until she, Ron, and Hana returned to Middleton, so she was more than a little shocked when Yori simply appeared on the boat that same night just after dinner.
"There was definitely no ninja teleportation class at Yamanouchi!" Ron insisted. "I think I'd remember flunking that one!"
"Of course not, Ron-san," Yori agreed with a mysterious smile. "There is, however, one on skydiving," she murmured softly to Kim once Ron was out of earshot.
"Um, not that it's not great to see you, Yori, but as I have to keep reminding people, this is my honeymoon," Kim pointed out.
"You have my most sincere apologies, Kim-san," Yori assured her with a low bow. "However, it is urgent that I speak with you. Concerning Hana, and any rift that may have developed between us as a result of information that was kept from you."
Kim stared at her. "You already spoke to Sensei, then."
"I have, and there is much I would tell you. May we speak in private?"
"Well, since you jumped out of a plane just to do it, I can hardly say no, can I?"
"It would be your right, Kim-san."
Kim frowned. "Yori, stop it. I'm not mad anymore, really. I understand most of why you did what you did. Don't ask for forgiveness, since what you did wasn't wrong. I can't ask you to betray the way you were raised, and in your position, I would have done the same, I think."
Yori looked somewhat relieved, but was all too aware of Ron and Hana watching. "I would really prefer to continue this in private, Kim-san. Even if there is to be no shouting."
Two minutes later, inside one of the cabins, Yori appeared to be far more relaxed, or as relaxed as Kim ever saw her, anyway.
"Sensei said that you could be away from the school for extended periods. Exactly how true is that?" Kim asked.
Yori smiled. "Simply put? I told the school board that you asked me to come, and they told me to have a pleasant flight."
"You're kidding, right?"
"Not really. Even before my promotion, I was most often selected to handle business in America, whether it concerned you or not. It didn't hurt that I was happy to go, or that I could ensure we remained on good terms with you in the process. A great deal of Yamanouchi's resourcefullness in all situations depends on having allies all over the world. And speaking of allies, I have recently received several calls from your honored Global Justice."
Kim smirked. "Oh, that. Dr. Director must have figured out that you were the other person to complete the Kim Possible crash course."
Yori shuddered at the very thought. "I trust you did not inform her that it took me three tries to do so."
"No way. Then I would have had to tell her that it took me two tries. Or that Hana did it on her first. Little brat enjoys making us look bad way too much as it is. And in any case, Dr. Director still hasn't found an agent that can finish the toned down version I gave her. I hear she actually rewards them for not bursting into tears halfway through."
"I am torn between pride and remorse at such high praise," Yori admitted. "We have set a standard that few can reach. There will always be a demand for our skills, but I fear what that will mean, when we no longer wish to do what we do."
"Well, there's always Hana."
Yori sighed. "Please allow me to apol-"
"No," Kim interrupted. "We've been over this. You had good reason, and I'm not mad. All I need to hear from you is if you think she's ready. Which I assume she is, if she has the support of Yamanouchi."
"I believe there is only one way to phrase it. If Ron-san was our chosen one, then Hana-chan and Yono-sama would be the ones who chose him, whether they intended to or not."
"And let me guess: there's no real room for interpretation there."
"Actually, there is," Yori disagreed with a smile. "One could also argue that they chose you, Kim-san. Or even myself."
"So there's no more denying it," Kim groaned. "Hana's ready."
"I believe that a certain American-style saying is most appropriate here," Yori replied. "She was born ready."
Dr. Drakken and Shego had been captured by Global Justice enough times in the past that they rated their own apprehension protocol. Shego's comet power could not really be turned off, and she wasn't about to cooperate even if it could have been. Wade had helped design special handcuffs that theoretically dissipated any energy Shego could generate. And in case that failed, or even if it worked, he also designed a jumpsuit in Shego's size that could do the same. And just to be safe, he'd thrown in an armored car that could also do the same. To date, Shego had never escaped from the combination of all three in simultaneous use. Mostly because she tended to escape just before or after the handcuffs were on, and always without generating any visible energy. Short of braining her with a heavy rock, Wade had not found a humane way to negate Shego's natural fighting skills. And considering such technology in the wrong hands might eventually be used against someone like Kim, he hadn't exactly tried to advance the research.
Drakken was a less complicated matter: past experience had shown that transporting him in the same vehicle as Shego was a huge mistake. They tended to annoy each other so much in enclosed quarters that Shego had no problem crashing the vehicle while still in it, rather than listen to him complain the entire time. Of course, her comet power pretty much ensured her survival. If Drakken managed to walk away as well, that was just everyone's bad luck.
Electronique, having established a long criminal history in Go City, was even simpler to arrange for. Dr. Director had commissioned a plastic holding cell the moment that Electronique was released from prison. Actually getting Electronique into the cell was a little trickier, as Dr. Director did not want to rely on the Attitudinator for good behavior, solely for the reason that it was a HenchCo product. Aside from that, Jack Hench was the one who had Electronique released in the first place, and she had modified the Attitudinator enough times that trying to use it on her would have been like handing Shego a second multi-colored comet: a terribly bad idea by any stretch of the imagination.
Team Go was the easiest to handle: Hego and Mego were essentially motionless without a command from Shego, and the Wego twins were not about to abandon any of their siblings in order to escape.
Wade's inventions were not perfect, and he had certainly not designed those three to be. But he also knew their greatest flaw. In order for them to work, Shego had to be in the handcuffs, in the jumpsuit, or in the armored car. If she was not, she could destroy them just as easily as she did anything else. But as there was only one Shego, GJ had not exactly counted on Shego attacking the armored car from the outside, when she was supposed to be in it.
They certainly hadn't counted on someone stronger than Shego attacking the armored car while Shego was inside it.
Naturally, when all four of the vehicles transporting Drakken, Shego, Team Go, and Electronique were hit simultaneously by the same giant, green fireball along a long stretch of empty highway, absolutely no one had been prepared for it, least of all the GJ agents who were riding with them.
Will Du had been in the rear vehicle with Shego for two reasons: he was fairly certain that between her comet power and natural toughness, her injured state would only keep her incapacitated for a short time. Also, of all the agents in GJ's employ, he was the closest thing they had to Kim Possible. Which still meant that, injured or not, Shego could beat him bloody with a little effort. But if Shego got loose, his job was not to stop her, but to stall her. It would take her at least a good five minutes to put him down for good or knock him out, and that was five minutes the other agents would use to escape with their health intact, still able to report the situation.
When the fireball hit, Will was thrown clear, though through the huge explosion. He should had been badly burned at the very least. Instead, he walked away with a nasty bump on the head and a broken arm. In fact, not one of the agents was burned at all, despite the explosion. Will had been the only one to remain conscious, though due to the bump on his head, his memories of the attack were suspect. And even if they hadn't been, his version of events would not have been widely believed.
Because according to Will, the person responsible for the attack had been a girl no older than ten, and the reason no one had been burned was because she had the ability to manipulate and absorb massive amounts of heat in the space of a few seconds. Also, she was green and apparently had superhuman strength, because Will claimed the bump on his head had not come from his fall, but that she had hit him in order to cast doubt on his story.
After listening to his report three times, Dr. Director told him quite plainly, "Agent Du, I'm quite sure that the only reason she hit you was because she was certain you wouldn't dare to report that you got hit by a little girl."
Not surprisingly, Will retired quietly from GJ a month later under increasing pressure from his superiors. Except for Dr. Director. She genuinely felt sorry for him, and when she retired from GJ two months after that, she hired him to head the private security team that protected her home.
The walk to the hovercraft stashed in a nearby ditch had been awkward, to say the least. Electronique couldn't get over the fact that a little girl had just freed them from Global Justice custody, destroyed four armored cars with a fireball that resulted in no burns for anyone, and knocked out a highly-ranked GJ agent with no effort.
Said little girl was currently happily walking beside Shego, who was holding her hand agreeably enough, but otherwise seemed just as bad-tempered as she had been when GJ arrested them. Nothing that Electronique knew about Shego suggested that she had ever wanted to be a mother, nor that she would be any good at it. Then again, nothing that Electronique knew about Shego suggested that she would sleep with Dr. Drakken, either, but clearly that had happened at some point, much as they all seemed to wish they could forget it.
It was not until they reached the hovercraft that Shelly finally spoke. In a high-pitched, pleasingly innocent tone, she asked, "I did good, Mom?"
Everyone else froze, expecting Shego to explode. The title implied, among other things, that Shego had given birth, was of mothering age, and in short, that she aged at all. People had been beaten senseless by her for less. Drakken had been beaten senseless by her merely for asking when her birthday was. And he had still never found out. Or if he had, he was smart enough to pretend he hadn't, and made no attempt to celebrate or otherwise draw any attention to it.
Shego turned to Shelly and did something truly unexpected: she knelt down, smiled, and gave the girl a big hug. "You did great, baby," she murmured into Shelly's ear. "I'm so proud of you."
Shelly eagerly returned the hug. "Thanks, Mom! Dad, too?"
Shego drew back a bit and smirked. "Eh... I'm less proud of him. Still not ready to introduce him to polite company."
Shelly giggled. "No, Mom! I meant, is he proud of me, too?"
Shego glanced at Drakken, who was pointedly glaring at the hovercraft and keeping his back to them. "Why don't you ask him, hon?"
"Okay!" Shelly ran over to Drakken, who immediately crossed his arms over his chest, presumably so she could not hold his hand. She ignored this by jumping up, grabbing his left arm, and forcibly latching onto his hand with what was clearly more strength than he had. "I did good, Dad?"
Drakken scowled at her. "What is your name?"
"Shelly Gloria Lipsky," Shelly replied at once.
"Your codename?" he insisted.
"Super Humanoid Eradication and Lawlessness Enforcer. Project S.H.E.L.E. for short."
"Your mission?"
"To assist you and Mom in any way necessary."
Drakken hesitated, glanced at Shego, who was frowning at him, and then sighed. "Then, yes," he finally agreed, patting Shelly's head with his free hand, "you did well, and I am pleased with your progress. When we get home, you may have cookies."
Shelly beamed at him, but made no attempt to hug him. She did, however, lay her head briefly against his side. Then she released his hand and skipped over to the hovercraft.
Electronique stared for a moment, then turned to Shego. "You're married?" she asked in shock.
Shego snorted loudly. "You're too smart to be that stupid, E. We just agreed that a legal name was better. You know, because I thought a little green girl with black hair a first name ending in '-go' would be a lot obvious. Funny thing about the cops: they never assume that anyone named Lipsky is actually bad until proven wrong. Probably figure if you've got a name like that, you deserve a break."
There was no way to deny it any longer: the honeymoon was officially postponed. Kim held out hope for as long as she could, but between Team Unstoppable's first mission, Yono's appearance, and now Yori's visit, Kim had to admit defeat.
Although Yori was not exactly stranded on the boat with them. Kim knew perfectly well that it would not have taken much effort for Yori to summon one of her ninja followers with a speedboat. She could have even taken Hana back to land with her. But Kim shouted down this idea for two reasons.
First, she didn't want Hana out of her sight (although Hana had just proven how much trouble she could cause even when she remained in sight).
Second, despite Yori being a former rival for Ron's affections (although Kim was forced to admit that they had never officially been competing for Ron at the same time), she was first and foremost a close friend to them both. So it was not nearly as awkward having her around. More importantly, Yori could keep an eye on Hana, which allowed Kim and Ron at least some privacy. But if Kim was having a hard time accepting Hana's current stance, Ron was having an even harder time with it, and it had effectively killed any sort of romantic mood.
They had to at least pretend that was not the case, because despite the situation that Hana had put them in, she would never forgive herself for ruining their honeymoon. Kim could see that Hana had gone to considerable trouble not to have her new team's activities discovered until much later, and perhaps if Ron had not sensed something was amiss, they wouldn't have known until Yono showed up.
Still, Kim was forced to admit that Team Unstoppable had indeed saved her a bit of trouble. Technically, it was only Yono busting Motor Ed out first that had kept him from being busted out by Drakken and Shego. Kim could not really consider that headache completely averted, however, since Drakken and Shego had still managed to escape. But that GJ had managed to catch them at all was a sure sign of how badly Shego had to have lost to Yono, so that was something. But knowing Shego, a loss like that would only make her more determined for a rematch. It was an inevitability that actually made Kim wish Hana had been able to talk Yono into joining Team Impossible. Much as she didn't like the thought of Hana befriending Yono, she liked the thought of Shego catching Hana alone even less. She would have to remember to point that out to Ron later on.
And it was nice, having a chance to catch up with Yori. Kim had never exactly wanted an actual sister (or any other additional siblings) after she got stuck with the tweebs, at least not one produced by her parents. The chances were just too high that she'd end up with another equally smart brat who stole her clothes and hacked her e-mail. Yori was a perfect solution to the problem, in that she was enough like a sister of similar age, lived too far away to drop in too often, and was consistently available by phone. Kim had discovered over the years that any fees she earned related to Japan were quietly handled by someone else, and that it was considered quite rude of her to ask about them, so she didn't anymore. Yori always tended to change the subject if asked, and Kim imagined that somewhere in Yamanouchi, some poor first year student had the unfortunate job of tallying up her phone bill each month.
But Yori was like a sister in another important way, as well: she had been separated from Hana years ago, and knew exactly how hard it was to have to let Hana go. Kim knew that she was going to need Yori's advice on how to handle that, even if she strongly suspected that advice would contain some old-fashioned lessons that had no doubt been passed down to Yori by Sensei.
Unfortunately, Kim got her chance a lot sooner that she was expecting. Hirotaka was waiting for them when MC Honey's boat docked in Middleton, and judging from the urgency in his expression, his news was not of the good kind. And if Kim needed confirmation of that, he did not even bother to greet any of them, even Yori, which was rude enough in the States, but she knew was far worse in Japan.
"We have recieved a summons from Yono-sama," Hirotaka explained uncomfortably. "Something unexpected has happened, and he requires Hana's presence immediately. I have been ordered to stress that this is not a request, and the situation will worsen if Yono-sama is forced to retrieve Hana himself."
Hana frowned at him. "Why didn't he just tell me this? We've got our whole mystical counterpart mental... thingee."
"I do not know, Hana. I can only tell you that Sensei advised me to do everything in my power to have you cooperate in a timely manner."
"So you expect Hana to just jet off to some island because Yono said so?" Kim asked.
"Ah, I believe I was unclear," Hirotaka responded. "Yono-sama requires Hana to come to Japan."
"Even so, that doesn't mean-"
"Kim?" Hana interrupted. "I need a huddle."
"Hana, that's-"
"Kim, I really need a huddle. Right now, please."
Frowning, Kim allowed Hana to drag her away from the group. "What?"
"Something is wrong. Yono doesn't act like this normally. He doesn't... go through channels. He doesn't have any reason to, he's got power leaking out of his ears. If he actually contacted Yamanouchi, something is really wrong, and I need to go find out what."
Kim glared at her. "And this is the part where I'm suddenly okay with it, right?"
Hana sighed and shook her head. "No, this is the part where I tell you I'm not asking for your permission. I'm going, Kim. I'd love it if I was going with your blessing, or even if you were coming with me. But I can tell neither of those is going to happen in time. So instead, I would really like for you to hug me, and say that you'll see me when I get back."
"And if I don't want to do that?"
"Then I'll just hug you, and I'll see you when I get back."
"This is how it'll start, you know," Kim pointed out. "Little things like this. And suddenly, you'll only be home for a week out of the year."
"That's not what this is," Hana insisted. "This is an emergency!"
"They're all emergencies, Hana. Don't you get that yet?"
"I don't have time for this. Yono needs me, and-"
"What if I need you to stay here?" Kim demanded.
"What if I need you to come with me?" Hana countered.
Kim blinked uncertainly. "Are you asking me to?"
"No, but I wouldn't stop you if you invited yourself. I know you do that, sometimes. Kinda surprised you haven't already."
Kim bit her lip. "Hana, I'm getting mixed signals here. Do you want me to come with you or not?"
"Why are you asking for permission?! Aren't you the one that just gave me a whole speech about how you're the parent and I'm the kid? If you're really the boss of me, you don't ask me if you can do something!" Hana glared at Kim, gave her a quick hug, and then stomped away in a huff.
"What was that about?" Ron murmured as he walked over to Kim.
Kim shook her head slowly. "...I think Hana expected me to say that I was coming with her. I think she wanted me to come with her."
"Uh, then why are we still standing here?" Ron asked.
"Because the whole point of this was to let her grow up, right? She can't do that if her big sis is tagging along still."
"Well, yeah, but you know how mama birds push their babies out of the nest? Pretty sure they still keep an eye on them to make sure they don't go splat. Maybe Han doesn't want to have to ask you to do that. Maybe she didn't think she'd have to ask. Maybe she thought you wouldn't let anything stop you from being there for her." Ron paused and grinned. "Kim, maybe she doesn't want to just tell you she's growing up. Maybe she wants to actually show you, with you actually there to see it. And hey, I'm up for a honeymoon do-over in Japan if you are."
Shego's main complaint about Project: S.H.E.L.E. was that it wasn't a weapon at all, but a person, and should be treated as such. Dr. Drakken had always assumed that she was being overly emotional and, though he hesitated to admit it, maternal. Which was fine up to a point: he wanted S.H.E.L.E. to be loyal to them alone, and certainly believing that it loved them was a decent foundation.
But problems had arisen quickly. Drakken wanted to blame Shego for most of it, but he couldn't deny certain flaws in the programming. Instead of being a weapon that acted like a girl, Shelly was more of an actual girl that pretended to be a weapon when necessary. This was not at all what Drakken had intended, of course, but then programming had always been slightly outside his range of expertise. Worse, creating Shelly had been rather costly, and he doubted he would ever be able to talk Shego into contributing again, so they were stuck with Shelly. She was more than adequate, as weapons went: Shelly had surpassed all expectations in the use of her powers. But she was supposed to understand that she was a dangerous weapon, and so was only intended to be used occasionally, if that much. That part had not quite taken root properly. Shelly knew it on an intellectual level, anyway, and accepted it. But a rather large part of her still expected to see her parents at home consistently, and when that didn't happen, she tended to act out, both on purpose and subconsciously. Shego had managed to minimize the frequency of these tantrums with regular visits, but from all indications, Shelly had only seen this as a reward for acting out, and now expected the same behavior from Drakken. In fact, if not for the infuriating unpredictability that was Hana Stoppable's involvement, Drakken might have suspected Shelly of orchestrating the entire failed prison break as a way of spending time with her parents.
She had done nothing of the sort, of course. But what she had done afterward was nearly as troublesome.
Drakken had only intended to stay in his mother's home for a few days. But when he'd tried to leave, a wall of green fire greeted him at the door, and continued to do so on each following attempt. Shelly denied any knowledge of this, and rather inconveniently, Shego claimed he was imagining the fire, although Drakken had caught them roasting marshmallows with it later. He had even tried complaining to his mother as a last resort, but she had sided against him as well. So Drakken found himself stuck in a house with three strong-willed women who took immense pleasure in making him their prisoner. About the only thing Drakken could do was call Jack Hench and inform him that Shego and himself would need some extended vacation time. He had briefly considered requesting some back-up, but disregarded that idea almost immediately. Drakken didn't even want to consider how fast the situation would worsen if his mother caught henchmen trampling through her rose bushes.
Kim opened her eyes to the rather curious suspicion that something was wrong. A quick glance around the luxurious cabin of the Nakasumi Corporation's private jet told her exactly what was wrong: someone was missing.
Hana was missing.
Kim was not immediately alarmed, but warily concerned all the same. Hana supposedly could survive leaping out of an airplane without a parachute, and there were plenty on board, just in case. She also could have used her magic to simply vanish, which was far more likely, as no one on board was such a heavy sleeper that they'd miss the door opening during the flight. Also, Hana could have just gone to the restroom or another cabin, but somehow Kim doubted it.
Sighing, she shook Ron awake, and was greatly relieved when he opened his eyes and instantly frowned, which confirmed her suspicion. "Han's gone?" he asked.
"You can sense that?" Kim asked.
"That, and a trace of her magic. So at the very least, she didn't go out the door."
"I'm not sure that makes me feel better. At least then, we'd have a vague idea of when and where she bailed on us." Kim hesitated, then asked, "I thought she wanted us with her? Why would she-?"
"I don't think that's it," Ron interrupted. "I think this is part of why she had to come."
"She could have left a note," Kim complained.
"Maybe she did."
Kim snorted. "Ron, Hana has been pinning her notes to your shirt while you're asleep since she learned to write. There's no note."
"No physical note," Ron agreed. "Maybe she used astral projection this time."
"How would we even-?" Kim began to ask, but paused when a bright blue aura formed around Ron's hand. She watched in silence as he passed it over his shirt, which revealed some previously invisible red characters in a language that Kim didn't immediately recognize. "Is that Japanese?"
"Not entirely," Ron answered. "It's got some ancient Mayan thrown in. Roughly translated, it says, 'Had to go. Ask Sensei and Yori. Please don't be mad, Kim. Love, Hana.'"
Kim glared at him. "She is so dead."
"Hey, at least you got a mention! She left it on my shirt, and not a word for me! How do you think I feel?"
"Focus, Ron. It sounds to me like Yori has another secret that needs spilling immediately."
"Maybe not. It says to ask her and Sensei. If Yori had the secret, it'd just be her we had to ask. Besides, if Yono was going to talk to anyone at Yamanouchi, it'd be the oldest person there, which is Sensei. Yono isn't really the type to stay current with the recognized chain of command... or anything else current, really. Dude is, like, old. Like he was there when they invented old school, and said, 'You kids and your confounded colonial music!' So, doubt he even remembers who Yori is. People under sixty probably all look alike to him."
"So we need to get Yori in here, and Sensei on the astral phone line to figure out where Hana went."
"A task I trust you will have no difficulty accomplishing," Yori said as she entered the cabin. "Sensei is eager to assure us all. I have just spoken with him."
Kim frowned at her. "You mean, you don't know where Hana is, either? And I thought you couldn't use astral projection?"
"I do not and cannot. At best, I and most other Yamanouchi students can meditate and make ourselves more likely to successfully recieve messages via astral projection, but Sensei is one of the select few I know of who can send such messages at all. As for Hana, I was only instructed not to interfere, unless she specifically asked me to, which she did not."
"So, even the current Master Sensei gets instructed?" Ron asked. "How does that work?"
Yori smiled at him. "I have benefited from Sensei's wisdom enough times that I would never disregard it without excellent reason, Ron-san, even if I do outrank him in the eyes of some. Surely you can appreciate this? In any case, these instructions were passed on to Sensei by Yono-sama. Him, I would need even better reason to disregard. But we have delayed long enough. I am just as eager as you to learn where Hana has gotten to."
"How long do you think we can keep Dad here?"
Shego paused, allowing her focus to momentarily drift away from the task of braiding her daughter's hair. "Longer than you might think. He doesn't have any gadgets stashed here. Without those, I'm the only way he could escape, and I'm not about to help him."
"I could have kidnapped him," Shelly suggested. "Then he'd be the victim, instead of the bad guy on the run."
That, Shego had to admit, was not a bad idea. She highly doubted that anyone would bother looking for Drakken if he were kidnapped. "Maybe we'll do that next time, kiddo. If we ever leave."
"I like it here. Gran makes the best food, and none of the neighbor kids mess with me since I hit that Roger Beeman in the nose."
"Yeah, about that. You weren't actually trying to shove his nose into his brain, were you?"
"No. But I sorta figured he didn't have a brain. I was wrong." Shelly glanced over her shoulder at her mother. "Mom, can I have a dog?"
Shego blinked slowly, caught off guard by the question. "A dog? What would you do with one of those?"
"Play with it, and love it, and teach it not to go on the rug. So can I?"
"I don't know. That's a pretty big responsibility."
Shelly pouted. "Mom, I busted open four armored cars and punched out a GJ agent within ten minutes. I think I can take care of a dog."
"Maybe we can get Dad to make you one. He's probably got some Commodore Puddles DNA in cold storage."
"I don't want a poodle!" Shelly whined. "That's a girly dog!"
Shego laughed. "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but you are a girl."
"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I have to have girly stuff! Uncle Eddie sent me a crowbar for my birthday!"
"He did that because it was the only thing he could get his hands on. And had he been smarter, he could have used it to break out so he'd actually be here for your birthday. And may I remind you that you promptly bent that gift out of shape, and are still using it as a frisbee?"
"But it wasn't girly!"
Shego chuckled and shook her head. "Why do you want a dog, baby?"
Shelly bit her lip and lowered her head. "I don't have any friends, Gran's old, and you're not always here to play with me."
Wincing, Shego pulled Shelly against her and rested her chin on the girl's head. "Sorry, hon. I'm trying here."
"I know you are, Mom," Shelly murmured. "But I still want a dog."
"Tell you what. If you can get one, without being caught or leaving a trail, and you promise to take care of it all by yourself, then you can keep it."
"Could I make one?" Shelly asked eagerly.
Shego frowned. "I guess. But to be clear, if I can't tell it's a dog by looking at it, the deal's off."
Kim stared at the glowing form of Sensei with a great deal of anger. "What is this?! What do you mean, you can't tell me exactly where Hana is?!"
"Please remain calm, Kim-san," Yori pleaded. "I am sure that Sensei was not done explaining. He would not have contacted us merely to say that."
"Yori is correct," Sensei agreed. "Hana is no doubt in Yono's temple as we speak. However, recall that Yono can move the temple at will, to any location he chooses. They may or may not be in Japan."
"Then what, exactly, was the point of us flying out here?" Kim demanded.
"Because no matter where they are currently, when Yono-sama is done, he will return Hana to Yamanouchi," Yori replied. "It is a place of significance and power for them both. This way, Kim-san, you will be there to greet Hana upon her return. And perhaps you will gain a better understanding of why Hana wanted you here for her."
"And neither of you has any idea why Yono wants Hana now?" Ron asked.
"I only know for sure that Yono was troubled by something he discovered recently," Sensei responded. "I suspect he thought it might potentially pose a threat to Hana. In his own way, he is attempting to protect her."
"So... this looks like Japan," Hana pointed out.
"It is not," Yono replied as they walked across the uneven, rocky ground.
"Are you sure? I mean, I dug you out of Simian Canyon, and this looks a lot like it. Yeah, it is, I remember this rock formation!"
Yono sighed. "It is not the Japan you know. This is merely a pocket dimension that uses Japan as a sort of backdrop. When we are done here, it will cease to exist. Assuming it is not destroyed in the process, anyway."
"Yeah, you were kinda vague. What exactly are we doing here?"
"I have recently begun to sense a new threat to your existence. I believe it is connected to the one you call Shego, though the power signature is somewhat different. I have determined that it will not be safe to wait until the agreed upon date to fully restore your power."
Hana frowned. "But you beat Shego up, so why-?"
Yono glared at her. "You are not listening. The threat is connected to her, it is not Shego herself."
Hana rolled her eyes. "Fine. But why are we here? You still haven't said."
"We will restore your power here, in this place."
"Um... why here? What's so special about this place?"
"You cannot guess?"
Hana blinked slowly. "Well, stuff tends to get broken around you, so I'm guessing you thought it would be safer to break stuff here. Which I think means you're going to be fighting. But I don't see how that restores my power."
"I marked you as my summoner," Yono said. "Why do you think I took the mark back?"
"No clue," Hana answered. "I didn't mind it. I always wanted a tattoo."
"There was no point. We are bound, even without the mark or a contract. We share power. And most importantly, you are unlike any summoner I had before. You are my counterpart, and the rules are different for you."
"Couldn't we just pretend they're different because you like me?"
"No," Yono snapped. "You would do well to pay attention, Han. I do not speak merely to hear myself talk. I am attempting to enlighten you, hopeless as that now seems."
Hana glared at him. "Fine, Mr. Grouchy! Then why don't you just give me back my power so we can get out of here?"
Without warning, Yono suddenly spun around, backhanding Hana hard across the face. She was thrown the width of the canyon, where she slammed into the rock wall. "Keep in mind that you asked for that," Yono pointed out.
For a moment, Hana thought he was giving her more attitude as she got back to her feet. Two things changed her mind. First, if Yono had really put his full strength into that hit, she would have gone through the wall, and it would no longer be standing. Second, she wasn't actually feeling any pain, and Yono was perhaps the only entity that knew exactly how best to hurt her. Actually, she felt... good. And not just because she was starting to suspect why Yono had really brought her there.
"Are you prepared to listen now, Han?" Yono asked as she walked toward him.
Hana nodded, keeping her eyes on him and her face blank.
"I cannot simply hand over the power that you lost. And even if I could, I would not. Then you would learn nothing. I am, first and foremost, Yono the Destroyer. As such, I will return the power to you the best way I know how."
"Only you would come up with a way to restore my magic by beating me up."
Yono grinned in a rather unpleasant way. "There actually is another purpose. Your form is sloppy, you are far too conceited, and I am the only one able to correct you in both areas. And yes, I will thoroughly enjoy doing so."
"So how does this work?" Hana asked. "You just hit me until you get tired?"
Yono shook his head. "I believe an oversimplification of the process would be best. I release 'bad' energy, while you release 'good' energy. As we are counterparts, our individual energies are unique yet compatible, up to a point. We can each absorb the other's excess energy, but doing so eventually results in a buildup within our bodies that we would find... unpalatable. So it becomes necessary to expel the opposing energy, and it only makes sense to restore it to the original owner in the process. Therefore, we will fight until I no longer possess your energy. But I feel this is best done while fighting without restraint, and since I have no desire to reconstruct anything once we are done, this place was best. Our battle should have minimal impact upon the actual Japan."
Hana paused. "Um, how much is minimal, exactly?"
"Nonstop thunderstorms and earthquakes for four days straight!" Kim groaned as she and Yori neared the end of the long corridor. "If I was anyone else, this would be the worst honeymoon ever!"
"I believe Sensei would suggest that we appreciate that the school itself has suffered no major or lasting damage," Yori commented. "All things considered, the mountain has also held up remarkably well despite the minor tremors."
"They were earthquakes, Yori," Kim corrected. "I've been in and caused enough to know the difference."
"I wish you would try some of the relaxation techniques that Sensei recommended, Kim-san. You've been on edge this whole time."
"Because neither of you can tell me with any amount of confidence where Hana is! You want me to relax, then get her back here, and then I'll relax all over the place!"
Yori gently placed her hand on Kim's shoulder. "I am worried for her as well. But there will always be a part of Hana that will remain beyond our understanding. You must learn to accept this, if you truly love her, and I know that you do. You would not have come if you didn't." Yori paused and smiled. "If it makes you feel any better, both you and the leader of Yamanouchi have the same problem."
Kim sighed and shook her head. "Thanks, Yori. That actually does help a little. Maybe I'l feel better once I've had some breakfast."
They exited the corridor and stepped into the cafeteria, only to find Hana seated at a nearby table, shoveling rice into her mouth at an alarming pace. Yono was seated beside her, eyes shut in either deep meditation or sleep. Ron was hovering just behind them, occasionally glaring at Yono's back but mostly fretting over Hana, who barely even noticed as he poked and prodded at the various rips in her clothing. As they watched, one of the students ran over, carrying a tray filled with food. He froze upon spotting the furious expression on Yori's face.
"Why was I not notified of this immediately?" Yori demanded.
The student bowed deeply, a rather impressive feat considering the very heavy tray. "My most sincere apologies, Master Sensei! Yono-sama instructed us to inform no one of their return!"
Yori took a deep breath and released it. "Very well. You may proceed."
The words were barely out of her mouth when Hana snatched the tray from the student, slapped it down in front of her, and dumped an entire bowl of steaming soup down her throat.
"She's really hungry," was all Ron could say weakly at Kim's questioning look.
"How long has she been here?" Kim asked.
"Twenty minutes, maybe. I only found out because I was here eating when they came in."
"I wanted to wake you guys up," Hana admitted as she paused between bites. "Yono overruled me. And much as everyone here likes me, they're still more scared of him, so he got his way. And I was pretty hungry." She let out a hearty belch. "The food here rocks!"
"Hana, do you want to tell me where you've been?" Kim asked, trying to remain calm.
Hana glanced at Yono. "Uh, okay, but not here. He's grumpy when I disobey him where he can see it. Well, grumpier." She took Kim by the hand and dragged her out of the room.
"How far are we-" Kim began to ask, but suddenly Hana spun around, threw her arms around Kim's waist, and buried her face in Kim's shirt.
"I missed you," Hana murmured.
Kim wrapped her arms around Hana. "I missed you more. Where were you?"
"Pocket universe that Yono... pulled out of his pocket, I guess. We busted it up pretty good, so it's gone now, otherwise I'd show it to you. It mostly looked like here, though. Just, more rocks and no school."
"Did you know he was going to take you there?"
"Nope. I honestly thought whatever he wanted, we were going to talk about it in Simian Canyon. And technically we did, but in the version in the pocket universe. Which I didn't even know he could do. You don't really assume someone named Yono the Destroyer knows much about creating anything, right?"
Kim shook her head. "And what happened there?"
Hana grinned. "I got my magic back! Oh, and he corrected my form. I tend to lead with my right most of the time, apparently."
"And why couldn't anyone else have been there for that?"
Hana shrugged. "You know, I'm not completely sure. Yono does like his privacy. But it wasn't anything bad. It was kinda fun, really. I'm actually looking forward to the next time."
"That's nice," Kim replied, smiling at her.
"Yeah," Hana responded. "Hey, since we're already here, can we stay a while? I want to see Yori boss people around a bit."
"Yori doesn't really do that, sweetie. Well, she does it politely, which is less fun to watch, trust me. But sure, we can hang out for a while. I know Yori misses having you around."
"She misses having you around, too," Hana pointed out as she dragged Kim back to the cafeteria.
Kim just nodded, keeping the smile on her face, but she was inwardly concerned. She knew that Hana had only given her the highlights, without saying exactly what she and Yono had been doing. From what Hana had and hadn't said, Kim strongly suspected that they had been responsible for the recent extremely bad weather conditions. Hana didn't look hurt, at least, but then she pretty much never did, so even if Yono had broken every bone in her body, there would have been no medical evidence of it, so long as Hana had sufficient time to heal the damage. Which likely would have been fairly easy, with her magic fully restored. Still, the fact that Hana had not bothered to magically restore the minor damage to her clothing spoke volumes to Kim. Either she hadn't fixed her clothing at all, or she had and simply hadn't wanted to repair them to the extent where they were brand new, due to the drain it would put on her magic. But perhaps it was a good thing that she was learning to be conservative with magic, which would hopefully limit how much training she would need from Yono.
However, from the way Hana plopped back down next to Yono and happily resumed her feast, Kim doubted that keeping them apart was very realistic. Yono's contract aside, Hana obviously liked being with him, and it was clear that no one from Yamanouchi was about to interfere with Yono's demands. Kim still did not trust him, but so far he at least appeared to be honoring his promises to Hana, which would have to be enough for the time being.
Drakken turned away from the scene of utter destruction and looked at his female companion. "I want you to know that I blame you for this, Shego."
Shego scowled at the smoking crater that had been Drakken's mother's house only minutes ago. She wanted to avoid blame, but it was kind of impossible, seeing as how Shelly was at ground zero, joyfully hugging her new, green, and most probably radioactive puppy. At least, Shego figured anything that could explode on command would also be radioactive, considering her current run of bad luck.
"I know, Dr. D," Shego sighed. "I blame me for this, too. Don't worry, we'll get your mom a new house. Probably not before she gets back from her book club, though."
"Shego, I am less worried about that, and more concerned about how we will manage to conceal an exploding dog."
She gave him a startled look. "Not even going to try and say Shelly can't keep it?"
Drakken rolled his eyes. "Please. The only thing worse than Shelly having that dog at her side is having it constantly chase us despite our best efforts to leave it behind. At least this way, we have some chance of it being loyal to us."
Shego forced herself to smile as Shelly ran up to her, followed closely by the puppy. "Hey, baby. I think your new dog blew up Gran's house."
"Um, sorry about that," Shelly apologized quickly. "But I think we needed a lair, anyway. Fido is going to need lots of room to explode."
"You're calling it Fido?" Shego asked in disbelief.
"Fetching Indestructable Dog-like Obliterator," Shelly explained.
"Ah. Well, that's just perfect."
Shelly bent down and picked up the puppy, holding it out to Shego. "Fido, this is Mom. She's the one that will melt you if you're bad. Although I don't think that would actually hurt you so much as it would just make you explode again."
Fido barked excitedly and wagged its tail, which Shego considered to be a sign of extremely good taste, so she consented to rub the puppy's head for a bit. It was then that she noticed something about the puppy that greatly troubled her.
"Hey, sweetie? Your dog is a girl."
Shelly nodded. "Yeah, I know. I thought I might want more puppies, eventually."
Shego scowled at her. "Babe, sometimes you are just way too much like your dad. And I don't mean that in a good way."
Shelly pouted. "Mom, that's really mean!"
"For her, it's really not," Drakken disagreed, trying to decide if he wanted to risk petting the dog and possibly causing another accidental explosion. At least, he hoped Shelly had not purposely blown up his mother's house just to get them to move into a lair. He could certainly appreciate the appeal, as lairs were roomier and more resistant to enemy attack, but experience had taught him that having his mother around evil machines was not a good combination.
Suddenly, a loud series of chirps began to sound from Drakken's pocket. He reached in and pulled out what looked like an apple. That was just for appearances, however: it was actually an HWU pager.
Shego stared at him expectantly as the look on Drakken's face went from curious to annoyed. "Well? What is it?"
Drakken slowly turned to her. "We've been fired from HWU for mission failure, and failure to return to base."
Shego considered that for all of three seconds. "They were jerks, anyhow."
He arched an eyebrow. "You seem remarkably calm about this. Aren't you the least bit insulted that we were terminated through text message?"
Shego grinned evilly at him. "Yeah, but we just got an exploding puppy, and I can't think of a better place for her to do her thing than in our former workplace. So why don't you get the relocation started? I think this is the perfect time for me and Shelly to take Fido for her first walk."
Concluded in Chapter 7: The Han
The bride officially begins her new life as Kim Stoppable. Which is nice, right up until she discovers Shego and Shelly in her new kitchen, eating the last of her cereal.
Endnotes:
Interestingly, since I subscribe to the belief that Middleton is in Colorado, it is entirely possible that Kim might have experienced a natural earthquake, even if she were anyone else who lived there. And even if she had lived anywhere else, between Drakken and Dementor, I'm sure she would have been in and/or caused an earthquake eventually.