Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!

Riza sat on a wooden chair in her kitchen. Roy sat on the floor next to her. Riza was not upset, nor angry. She was way beyond either of those emotions, she was enraged.

She kept her cool though, she was never one to lash out with emotion. She found that her calm anger almost seemed to scare people more. You could tell simply by the quiet tone of her voice that she was angered beyond belief.

"Roy, what did I tell you about the table?"

Roy audibly gulped from his spot on the floor next to her. He was one of the only ones who were not particularly afraid of angering her, heck he usually found it as a reason to tease her and rile her up even more. He knew by the tone of her voice just how angry she was, and the tone she was using with him right now meant that it was best for him to stay on her good side and possibly not get his skull pumped full of lead.

"That it couldn't handle the weight of both of us on top of it?"

Riza shifted uncomfortably in the chair. She eyed her kitchen table collapsed in front of them.

"And what did you do anyway, Roy?"

He would usually be happy to hear her call him by his first name, but the way she kept saying it made him feel like he was six again, being scolded by his mother.

"I got onto the table anyways?"

Roy didn't mean to ignore her warning. Simply leaning over the table hadn't been doing it for him so he had started to climb on top so he could straddle her correctly. He thought he heard her murmur something. He wasn't sure if the lust had clogged up his ears, but he was kind of lost in the moment when he heard a loud crack!

"Are you asking me a question Roy?"

She had told Roy; do not get on the table. Did he listen? No. Just as she thought, the table had collapsed right underneath them which caused her to plummet into the ground. The excruciating pain she felt in that moment could not be put into words. She had just been admitted from the hospital two weeks ago and doctor had told her that she should still be resting for another month. Of course, she was planning to do just as the doctor ordered as she had to be in fit condition to travel to Ishval to start the restoration efforts. Roy also decided to take a bit of a holiday for a month as he decided there was no point in getting started without her, besides he had been so happy after he got his vision back he told her that he never wanted to let her out of his sights again. So that's how he ended up staying at her apartment. The military was still trying to recover and rebuild from the Promised Day as well, so many happenings were being overlooked and nobody questioned the fact of them temporarily living together was for any other purpose other than to make sure her recovery goes smoothly. Roy however, was not a man who could easily keep his hands to himself, especially in the current situation where it had literally been weeks since he's seen her and months since he touched her. She had given him one golden rule as to this aspect, be careful.

"Aw please Riza don't be upset, I can fix your table with alchemy in a snap! Actually a clap... you get what I mean."

The table hadn't looked that flimsy. He could barely recall questioning the integrity of the table but he was sure it must've crossed his mind for a split second. They had just finished dinner and he was helping her wash the dishes. She had that apron on, damn that apron. Whenever she wore it all he could imagine what she would've looked like wearing nothing but that apron. He couldn't evacuate those thoughts from his mind quickly enough before he had her pressed up against the edge of the table in a passionate kiss. One thing lead to another and clothes flew in every which way and she was sitting on the edge of the table. Honestly, he hadn't even thought of doing that in the kitchen before and he thought it was a nice change from the bedroom. Riza had been very confused until he started taking her clothes off and she decided to just go along with it as well. He had been very compliant with the golden rule thus far, but today he just happened to take it a bit too far...

"Is that so Roy? I suppose you'll be able to heal my aching body parts with your alchemy too? Is that right?"

Riza had landed with a thud her back slamming against the hard table now knocked of all four legs. This would have been enough pain to deal with, but then there was Roy on top of her. He landed on top of her, his huge mass crushing her completely under his weight combined with the force from the fall. She had all the wind knocked out of her and she thought she saw stars. She finally was able to get a hold of herself and manage to shove Roy off of her. That's when she tried to get up but failed miserably and she laid back down, her back in searing pain. At this point Roy had come back down from the ecstasy cloud he was drifting on and lifted her onto the chair before seating himself down on the floor next to her.

"Listen I'm sorry Riza, I got carried away, I'm an idiot. We just need to take another little trip back to the doctor..." All Roy was hoping for at this point was to escape with is life.

"And what am I going to tell the doctor? Oh, I know you told me to take it easy for a month but I really couldn't stop myself from having sex with my superior officer on my kitchen table and ended up crushing every bone in my body?"

Roy almost blushed at her blatant comment, "I'm sure you'll recover Riza, you've been through much worse than this, besides, and he'll probably give you even more vacation time!"

"Roy, if I do get any more vacation time I can assure you that you are not getting any of this, ever."

If there was one thing that Roy Mustang was sure of in that moment, it was that he was never having sex in the kitchen ever again.