A/N: This is the role-reversal chapter I promised a very long time ago. Huge thanks to Cat and NCIS Obsessed for the inspiration for this chapter! This came out more crack-y than I intended, so apologies for any OOC-ness. This is for pure entertainment alone!

"Hey boss, guess what?" Havoc said and he strolled into the office.

"I don't care. You seem to be slacking off a lot for someone who just got back to the office." Roy answered without even looking up from his paperwork.

"Wow, I've never seen you of all people so deep into their paperwork."

"Now that I'm a general I've been trying to take my duties a bit more seriously. I can't afford to slack off these days."

"Yeah yeah, well I just wanted to tell you that I got an extra month of vacation time due to my injury."

Roy finally looked up from his paperwork. "You're perfectly fine though."

"I know, but it's just a precaution."

"So, you've come to rub it in my face then? I don't need the vacation time; I'm invested into my work."

"Sir, you've been working non-stop since you got promoted, surely everyone needs a vacation every now and then."

"What exactly are you getting at?"

"Let's say I sign over my extra month of vacation to you."

"What am I going to do with two months of vacation days? I haven't used my own."

"Let me finish. Suppose you sign over that month to Hawkeye, since she's used hers. Then you both can take an entire one month vacation off together."

Roy put his pen down and looked him in the eye, "There must be a catch."

"How about we put it to a bet? You win, you get the vacation time, and if you lose I get your month."

"That's tempting, what kind of bet are we talking here?"

"Since you and Hawkeye are officially a thing now, I think I got a good one."

Roy gestured for him to continue.

"No sex for 24 hours."

Roy tensed up enough for Havoc to notice. "How are we supposed to keep track of that?"

"Well for the next five or so hours in the office I can keep track of you but any time afterwards I suppose you have to vow to be truthful, no matter how good of a liar I know you are."

"I suppose I can keep that promise, you don't need to worry about anything happening anytime soon though. Riza would never try to do anything while we're still at work."

"Oh, that's a shame. It really is quite an adrenaline rush doing it in public places where you could possibly get caught." Havoc said while a sly smile on his face.

"Please, I'd rather not know what exactly has happened between you and your girlfriend at work. " Roy said as he cringed at the thought that they could be stowed away in a broom closet he has walked by.

"Alright alright I'll spare you."

"I'm assuming that I'm not allowed to tell her about the bet?"

"That would be considered cheating, so you'd have to completely ignore any advances made upon you."

"In that case, I think I've already won Havoc."

"Whatever you say boss," He held his hand out for him to shake. "Deal?"

"Deal."

"So, did you get him to agree?" Rebecca asked her boyfriend.

"He totally fell for it. Now I hope your little plan works, I'm having a hard time believing that you're going to get your side of the bet accomplished."

"Relax, Riza is my best friend. I can convince her to do anything if I really tried."

"I seriously doubt that, but good luck." Havoc said as Rebecca walked away to finish up the master plan they had thought up.

Rebecca walked into the shooting range to catch Riza putting away her guns. "Yoohoo, Riza! Over here!"

Riza caught sight of her friend and walked over. "Oh Rebecca, are you here to practice? I actually just finished."

"Actually I'm down here because I just overheard some juicy gossip."

"Really Rebecca? This can't wait until after work?"

"No it can't! Anyways, I overheard Mustang and Jean making a bet that Mustang could go without sex for 24 hours."

Riza tried to hide the faintest hint of a smile learning that Mustang even considered agreeing to that bet. The man's libido was almost uncontrollable at times (but if she really didn't want to he would always respect her decision, with a bit of moping). "Why does this concern me?"

"Riza come to my locker for a second." Rebecca motioned for her to follow. When they reached the opened it and pulled out a shiny new gun. "This Riza, is the very latest model of the military-issued handgun, except they haven't upgraded ours yet and they probably won't for a while."

Riza eyed the gun carefully, definitely much better quality than any of the ones she owned. "Where did you get that?"

"Jean got it for me and it is pretty amazing. I haven't used it as much as I could've though, since my job doesn't require as much active duty as yours Riza." She put the gun in Riza's hand. "Wouldn't this be much better suited to the best sharpshooter in the military?"

"Something tells me that you're not just going to give this to me."

"You catch on quickly." She took the gun back. "How about a bet, you win and you get to keep the gun."

"What kind of bet?" Riza asked cautiously. She wasn't the type to participate in a bet usually, but she couldn't back down from this before she knew what Rebecca was going to propose.

"I told you about the bet between Mustang and Havoc, all you have to do is get Mustang to lose within the next five hours we're at work and the gun is yours."

Riza thought about the bet and immediately discovered a flaw. "Rebecca, what you're trying to say is that I need to get Roy to have sex with me at work? That's not going to happen."

"Relax Riza, that's not exactly what I meant. You don't have to have sex with him here, all you have to do is get him to agree to have sex with you and it's your win."

"That's still rather lewd; I would have to seduce him."

"Come on, you always tell me his sex drive is almost as big as his ego."

"I've never said that."

"I'm sure you've implied it at some point. Riza, if you had this new gun think about how much more efficient bodyguard you will be, protecting Mustang with less rebound and higher muzzle velocity." She took the gun and waved it around in her face. "There's nothing to lose."

"What if I just lied to you?"

"Here." She pulled a tape recorder from her locked and shoved it into her hands. "Just record everything on this so you have proof." She held out her hand to shake. "Deal?"

Even if she couldn't go through with it there was still nothing to lose from agreeing, also Rebecca seemed to think that there was no way she would able to do it and that ignited her fighting spirit. "Deal."

She already knew she would be regretting this by the end of the day.

There was only one hour left until the work day was over and Havoc was getting worried. "Rebecca, you said you were sure that Hawkeye would be able to crack Mustang in less than five hours."

"Quit worrying Jean there's still an hour left."

"This plan of yours better work. You said this was a sure-fire way to get two months off work."

"It is! There's no way Mustang has that much will power to keep ignore Riza's advances."

"You act like you know him inside out. When he's determined to do something it's not like him to back down."

"It is if Riza's involved—"

"What are you two talking about?" An eerily deep voiced boomed from behind them.

"H-hey boss. How long have you been standing there?"

"I just got here to witness you two slacking off instead of working, go do something useful." Mustang said before walking ahead swiftly.

"Oh my god, that was close Jean! How did you not even notice him coming?" Rebecca said angrily.

"Shh, don't worry. I don't think he heard our conversation."

Roy had heard everything though. Those bastards, they don't think I have enough will power?

I'll show them.

There was only an hour left before everyone was free to leave and she still hadn't elected to follow through with the bet. She had been keeping herself busy but it was always in the back of her mind. She really wanted to win the bet though, partly because of the way Rebecca had asked her. She thinks I won't be able to do it.

She couldn't just plainly ask him, it would just be weird and obvious. She had to entice him somehow and get him into a situation in which it would be impossible to refuse. She looked down at her bulky military uniform and decided she wasn't going to be able to entice anyone in this thing. She found herself going downstairs and looking for a familiar face hidden in the military library.

"Sheska, I need your help."

Startled she jumped and dropped the book she was reading to salute. "Captain! What do you need?"

"Give me your skirt and shoes." Riza said with the straight face.

"I—what?" Sheska stammered.

"That's an order."

"B-but... if you're planning on wearing them I'm not sure if they would fit, I mean, you're taller and... curvier."

Riza was getting just a bit irritated now. "Sheska please, just hand them over."

"Yes sir!"

There was a quick change around in which Sheska took Riza's pants and boots and Riza managed to get the skirt on.

"Thanks, I'll be back later to return your cloths." She took notice of the fact that since Sheska was shorter, the skirt was slightly shorter than military issued really allowed. She just had to avoid walking into anyone on the way back to the office. Just an hour and you can take it off.

When she got back to her desk Mustang was not back yet so she took the time to straighten out her appearance in the most alluring way possible. She took off her jacket so that she was only wearing the black turtleneck underneath, and she took the clip out of her hair so it was down. She set up the tape recorder and put it underneath her desk. Now, I just have to figure out a way to...

It was then Mustang walked back into the office and noticed her appearance right away. "Captain, what happened to your uniform?"

"General! I spilled coffee on it and had to change... this was the only bottom that was available."

"Oh, okay. " He sat at his desk and started working on the newest pile of paperwork without even giving her a second glance.

That's it? Perhaps it would take a bit more to crack him today, she had always expressed distaste when it came to any sort of advances at the office so he was probably just respecting the fact that she wasn't comfortable with anything happening, so she probably had to make it a bit clearer. She purposefully knocked a couple papers off her desk and got up to pick them up.

"Oh, do you need help with those?" Roy asked when he saw her getting up.

"No no, I got it." She made sure her backside was facing him as she bent over in the most provocative way possible to pick them up. As she popped her head back up and around she noticed that Mustang hadn't even been looking her way. She dejectedly walked back to her desk. That was probably too cliché, but what else could I do short of throwing myself on top of him?

"Roy." She purred, her voice coming out rough and husky. She could see the slight surprise on his face, the hardly ever use first names at work.

"Yes, Riza?"

"Do you need a hand with your work? I've just finished all of mine." She continued with the same voice, trying to throw hints his way with the way she eyed him.

"Actually, I should be able to get all of this done before work is over. If you have no more left you can go home early." Roy said as he refocused on his paperwork, completely ignoring her bedroom eyes.

"N-no." She said, taken aback by his comment. There was no way she could leave before she won this bet. "I'll wait until you're finished, then we can walk home together."

"Suit yourself."

She couldn't just sit there and do nothing until work ended so she instinctively pulled out her gun cleaning set and started dismantling her gun, her apparently outdated gun. She still couldn't wrap her head around the fact they Roy hadn't even been fazed by any of her advances. She had to crank it up another notch somehow. "General" She drawled. "Do you know how to clean a gun?"

"I haven't cleaned one since the academy, so I can't say I'm an expert."

She picked up her kit and walked over to her superior's desk and set it down. She leaned over so that her face was only a few centimetres away from his. "I could teach you." She heard him swallow hard and took it as a sign that she was finally breaking through.

"Captain, do you think now is the best time for a gun cleaning lesson?"

"Don't worry; you can still sign your papers while I go over it."

"A-alright then..."

He took the bait, now to go in for the kill. "Well first you make sure that your gun is unloaded. It wouldn't be the best scenario if it went off in the middle of cleaning." The sexy tone she was using sounded so phony she wanted to throw up. This behavior was so foreign to her but she had to keep it up if she wanted to win the bet. "Then you disassemble it enough to clean."

"Mhm." He mumbled as he was more into the papers in front of him instead of her lesson.

She placed her fingers on this chin and tilted his face up so that he would look in her direction. "The most important part is cleaning the barrel; you might want to pay attention for this."

"Riza are you-"

She silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Just listen for a minute, alright?" She picked up the barrel. "See, you have to soak this patch in solvent and put it on the end of the rod first. Then you just stick it right up the barrel. You just move it up and down gently to clean away the residue." She saw him sweating as she moved the rod in a suggestive motion and she couldn't help but smirk to herself. She popped the cleaning patch off the top of the barrel. "You can also use the bore brush if you really want to penetrate all the dirt. You use it the same way as the patches, just move it up and down the barrel with just enough pressure." She offered it to him. "Do you want to give it a try?"

He put his hands up to stop her. "N-no, I'm good."

"Alright, then you can do the lubrication."

"Excuse me?"

"Lubricating the barrel is the next step. I thought you said you had done this before, you seem kind of inexperienced."

"...I told you it's been a while."

"Then it's a good thing I'm giving you a refresher. Now, where did I put my lubricant?" She had promised herself earlier not to do this, but work was almost over and she decided to take drastic measures. She got up to go look for the lubricant in her desk but instead she walked into the side of Roy's desk and practically threw herself onto his lap. She landed a bit awkwardly but she was able to stretch the skirt out enough so that her legs were on either side of his and her hips were aligned with his. "Hmn, Roy..." He looked the most flustered than he had all afternoon.

"Riza, please get off me."

"But Roy, you usually like it when I'm on your lap, don't you? How about we do things in the office we're not supposed to, just this once? I still have those handcuffs in my drawer in you're interested."

Roy looked like he was having an existential crisis. She kissed him on the cheek and he looked like he had finally reached his breaking point. Just when she had thought she had won Roy gently shoved her off his lap and leaped out of his chair.

"Roy, where are you going?"

"The paperwork is done enough, the work day is over, and I'm going home." He hurriedly put on his jacket.

She caught a glimpse of his face as he was leaving. "General, are you crying?"

"Don't be silly, that's just the rain." He said as he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Riza speechless.