Yay I finally go this chapter written, sorry for the wait. As always thanks for ye're overwhelming responses,
starkidsforever: I couldn't just take the easy route, there's still some drama left in this story. x x
starkidllamas-llama:Thanks and I know the last bit didn't exactly instill much hope but I couldn't resist, there's more drama on the way but for now it'll be ok x x
narnian-starkid : wow that was so sweet and such a nice complement, thank you! I didn't realise the last chapter was so sad until I read peoples reviews so I apologise for not putting some warning. x x
Gem : Don't worry I won't abandon this story mid way through, hope you like it so far and thank you so much x x
TearsOfaClown: she's safe for now... but for how long? hehe x x
corinadamian: Ya i must admit it's nice to write with them all together again. Unfortunately we haven't heard the last of Marcus. But for now everything's ok. Thanks so much x x
Guest: Aww thank you, I do watch glee but I actually hadn't seen that episode yet and when I saw it I couldn't believe it! I think it was nice to finally see them all back together again :) Regarding the last section and Marcus, I'm afraid you'll have to wait to find out, hehe. For now things will be calm x x
P0tterFanatic: haha, here it is, thanks x x
Don'tForgetTheNotes: Aww thank you, it means a lot to hear that from someone I really respect as an extremely talented writer. Ya the ending does predict some trouble ahead... for now they're safe x x
JilyLove: Aww thank you, I know the last few chapters have been quite emotional x x
"Joe?"
Joe leaped up from the stiff hospital mattress upon hearing her voice, swaying unsteadily as the blood rushed to his head. He grabbed the side of the bed for support, but Lauren was next to him within seconds, looping his arm around her shoulders and pushing him back down on to the bed gently. Her touch made his skin tingle as she slid her hand away. He was cautious not to put too much weight on her, knowing she wasn't strong enough.
Her eyes widened as she saw the severe bruising around his nose and his swollen lip,
"It looks worse than it is," Joe assured her, seeing the guilt in her expression
"I'm sorry," she gasped, "I never wanted you to get hurt."
"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for Lo," Joe reassured, leaning towards her and taking her face in his hands,
"But…"
"No buts," he said softly, " I love you and you need to believe me when I say that. The pain of a broken nose is nothing compared to the pain I felt losing you."
Lauren looked at him uncertaintly until eventually she took a deep breath and nodded slowly,
"Can I stay here with you for a while?" she asked weakly, her tiredness showing.
Joe smiled and took her hand, giving it a supportive squeeze, "Of course, I'm not going anywhere Lo."
He gently pulled her towards him, lifting her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her as she rested her head against his chest. His muscles ached and his nose bore victim to bruises of every colour, but he didn't care. He would endure the most torturous pain in the world if it meant he could hold Lauren safe in his arms,
"I used to dream about you," he whispered, almost inaudibly, "and then I'd wake up and you'd still be gone…"
"This isn't a dream though… is it?" she stuttered, a deep fear rooted in her voice
"No, this is real," Joe assured her, kissing the top of her head tenderly.
"How can you be sure?"
"Because in all of my dreams you were dead and this time… this time you're not," he croaked.
Her body stiffened as she heard his confession and for a second he couldn't help but assume the worst and that in any moment he'd be back in his bedroom, alone and suffering the greatest loss of his life all over again,
"No," she whispered, "I'm not dead… not in the physical sense."
Her words chilled him to the bone and in that moment he knew a part of Lauren had been lost forever in the last 6 months. It was like some of the life had been sucked out of her.
"Hi you must be Lauren, I'm Dr Amelia Burrows,"
Lauren stood awkwardly and hesitantly took the woman's offered hand. She let go quickly, averting her eyes to the ground and pulling the cuffs of her woollen cardigan down,
"Please, take a seat," Dr Burrows offered warmly, indicating the comfortable black leather armchair behind Lauren. She was a slim woman with a kind face and dark brown hair pulled back in an elaborate twist.
"Now, I gather you're a little bit nervous but don't worry, that's completely natural. We'll start off nice and gently and you don't need to talk until you're ready."
"What if I never want to talk about it?" Lauren asked quietly raising her gaze, "What if I just want to forget?"
Dr Burrows appeared unabashed and nodded understandingly, "That's ok, but people generally find that it helps to talk and I know at first it might seem difficult, especially for someone who's been through such such a traumatic experience. I understand that silence seems like the safest option, but in this room you are perfectly safe."
Lauren shifted uncomfortably in the as the accuracy of the Doctor's words sunk in,
"As I said, we'll take things at our own pace. You were released from hospital 5 days ago, how do find living at home again?"
"A bit weird... I like having Julia there," Lauren answered causing Dr Burrows to smile encouragingly,
"Do you talk to her a lot?"
"Not really... I don't know what I'm supposed to say," Lauren replied softly, looking up upon hearing the scribble of pen on paper as Dr Burrows took notes. It made her uncomfortable,
"Why are you monitoring me?" she asked shakily, "I didn't do anything."
Dr Burrows paused and slowly put the pen and notepad aside, "I can stop if you want… would that make you more comfortable?"
Lauren nodded slowly and felt herself relax a little,
"Did you spend a lot of time alone these last few months?" Dr Burrows asked delicately
"I was alone all the time…but never completely alone…they were always there."
"Who? Shane and Marcus?"
"Or someone else, but usually Shane," Lauren admitted, taking a deep breath.
"How did Shane make you feel?" Dr Burrows continued at a careful pace.
"I…" Lauren panicked at this question, "I… he was nice to me."
"Were you ever afraid of him?"
Lauren's eyes watered and she felt her chest tighten, "Can I go?" she croaked, hugging her arms to her chest and looking longingly at the closed office door,
"Just answer this one last question Lauren and then, I promise, you can go."
Lauren nodded and swallowed,
"Did Shane scare you?"
A prolonged silence ensued and Dr Burrows remained quiet as she allowed Lauren some time. 5 minutes passed and then 10 until eventually a meek voice spoke
"… Yes."
Tears treamed down Lauren's face,
"But he could be nice sometimes too, couldn't he?" Dr Burrows said understandingly,
"I… I killed him though," Lauren whimpered, "does that make me even worse than him?"
"You were protecting Joe," the doctor reassured her, "you did what anyone in your position would have done… you protected the person you love."
Lauren just nodded sadly and looked at the doctor for a moment,
"You promised only one more question."
Dr Burrows smiled guiltily, "you're right, my apologies."
She stood up fluidly and Lauren followed suit. The sound of her heels clicking on the polished wooden floor echoed around the huge, richly furnished office. Dr Burrows opened the heavy oak door as Joe rose from his seat by the wall. His eyes immediately zoned to Lauren whose face was still wet and blotchy.
Dr Burrows smiled as the couple interlinked fingers, "You did well today Lauren. I'll see you again next week."
Lauren nodded and tried to give her a smile while Joe nodded his head in appreciation, "thank you."
As they drove back towards Lauren and Julia's apartment, Joe waited patiently for Lauren to talk but she seemed reluctant to make any comment on her time spent with Dr Burrows. He wanted to know; it wasn't fair that a complete stranger should be able to connect more with her than him. As he pulled out of the clinic car park, he took a quick glance sideways at Lauren,
"What did you think of Dr Burrows? She's meant to be the best in the state."
"Ya, she was… ok," Lauren replied
"You know I'm here to talk to, don't you Lo?" Joe said sincerely, "I want to be here for you."
Lauren faced him, "I can't tell you…it's not fair."
Joe pulled over suddenly, cutting the car engine and turned to Lauren his expression pleading, "You can tell me… anything! I want to be able to help you."
"Joe… you wouldn't be able to look at me the same way," Lauren said, bowing her head in embarrassment
"I love you and that'll never change, whatever you tell me."
Lauren shook her head, "I can't... not yet."
Joe nodded and tried to hide his inner turmoil from his face. His worry, his anxiety, his fear… it was all so much to deal with. He'd been naïve to think that everything would be perfect as soon as Lauren got home. In truth it was only the beginning of a long recovery.
Thank you to all you gorgeous people please leave a review if you can x x x