Yuki sighed as she finally obtained the perfection Bard told her about Ciel's preference in Earl Gray Tea and the way he liked his chocolate chip cookies.
"How royal," Yuki murmured as she knocked three times on the door with her free hand, hundred percent sure that she didn't come too early.
[Yuki's POV] (A/N: accidentally did a POV shift without knowing it so I had to insert this in)
"Enter."
I opened the door and skillfully made sure the study door didn't slam closed, a thing I was taught to do at home. Setting down the tray on the table I said in a monotone voice, "Here is the Earl Gray Tea you have requested, Master. Along with the evening tea is your evening snack, cookies."
He nodded and I poured the first cup for him and he watched me, through his eye as I handed him the cup. When our hands touched, I was surprised, through my gloves, how warm his hands were. Or that could possibly be the fact that I was handling hot tea and baking cookies the past hour.
I nodded and turned on my heels to leave when he stopped me.
"Sit down."
I turned around and sat on the chair that was opposite to his study desk.
"Yes?" I curiously ask, with a raised eyebrow.
"How did you lose your parents?" he asked.
I scowled, "I believe that is none of your business, master."
"If you are my maid, then you have to do anything I ask," he looked at me with a blank stare.
"No I don't. You forced me into staying here after I was found right outside your place. You could've thrown me out but you wanted to keep me in here, like another chess piece in your game," I glared, "And I am not going to be one in it."
"Too late. You are one," he looked dead in my eyes.
"I won't be. I won't be a puppet you can control. I won't be a possession you can use for your benefit and then just throw away after one use. I am a human, and I might not be as normal as you but I have a life," I glared, "I am not your pawn."
Ciel looked at me, surprised. Honestly did he think I would just succumb to my fate that easily? He is an absurd fool to think so.
"You know, you really have it royal, don't you?" I narrowed my eyes at him, "You don't understand the pain of being out there, with people looking at you like you are nothing more than trash. You really are spoiled. And I am not. I will not tell you about my past and I will not hear of yours. Is that clear?"
When Ciel didn't speak up, I made up my mind. I got up.
The door creaked open, and I saw Sebastian there, amusement in his crimson eyes, and it sickened me. How can he enjoy torture? Is he even human? No he most likely isn't.
I stormed right past him and down to the kitchen. I don't think I can even handle the job of being his personal mutt, let alone stand his presence.
[Normal POV]
Ciel sat in shock when Yuki left.
"Don't you think you were a bit too harsh on her?" Sebastian sighed as he closed the door and went to pour Ciel another teacup of the tea.
"What do you mean?" for once Ciel didn't scowl.
"She lost her parents in the most twisted way. You lost your parents in the blink of an eye. Her parents were manipulated, Young Master, so she had endured some more pain than you," Sebastian smoothly answered Ciel this time without smirking like he usually would.
"I guess you are right," Ciel murmured.
"I know I am right," Sebastian nodded, "Would you show her your eye if she asked?"
Ciel froze, and then narrowed his eyes, "Why? Does she have a contract with a butler? I don't think so."
"But she did show her powers of ice to you when you asked," Sebastian countered.
"She still has to show me snow and water," Ciel murmured.
"And something about blood bending," Sebastian smirked.
"What is that?" Ciel's ears perked up in interest.
"I do not know, Young Master. Perhaps you can ask her when she doesn't feel like throttling you," Sebastian shook his head.
"Tsk, you might be overdoing her rage," Ciel scoffed as he drank his tea.
"No, I obviously think that is how angry she is at you," Sebastian insisted.
"Very well," Ciel sighed, "I will consult with her. Later. And then by then she has to be willing to tell me about her past."
"But if you do inquire her about her past, young master, be prepared to be telling yours," Sebastian sighed, picking up the empty tea tray, and leaving the untouched snack behind.
Ciel froze and Sebastian continued.
"She is a lady who will demand an equal share. If she does something for you then she asks you do something for her back. I am just saying," Sebastian shrugged as he too, left the study, leaving Ciel to think about the words spoken to him by Yuki and his own butler, Sebastian.
oOo
[Yuki's POV]
I was tired, and I was angry.
After the annoying brush with him when delivering Ciel his stupid evening snack and tea, Sebastian granted me the rest of the day off, which wasn't much of a deal, noting the fact that I would be missing in being present when Ciel eats his dinner which isn't much of an honor to me, noting his ego is the size of Russia.
I sighed and collapsed onto my bed. I couldn't sleep.
I then decided that I couldn't sleep and then shrugged out of my uniform but kept my gloves on. Putting on a pale blue night dress that was one of the many outfits given to me, I admired how the pale shade complimented my sapphire ones. But thinking of the color sapphire reminded me of his hair and worse, his eyes.
I suddenly hated my eyes.
I sighed as I stepped tentatively into the garden and sat down on a stone bench, letting the wind breeze fly through my hair. I was enjoying the slight moonlight rays when I heard soft crunching of boots come from behind me. I swiveled around to see Finny.
"Oh, hey Finny. What's up?"
"Nothing much. I saw that you skipped dinner."
"We had dinner?"
"You know, Master Phantomhive doesn't starve us, Yuki. I think he wants to keep us alive."
"Yeah," I muttered, "As his pawns."
"He told you that?" Finny's eyes grew wide when he sat next to me on the bench, setting down my dinner on the stone table.
"He did. He said he would just use me and throw me to the side," I grumbled, "I never felt so used in my life."
"He didn't mean that. I am pretty sure he doesn't mean that," Finny assured me.
"How do you know? For all I know he didn't care the one least bit when I tried to tell him how I felt about being labeled as a plaything!" I exploded but then caught myself and put on my stony expression and then started to eat my dinner after muttering a thanks to him.
"He…just had a rough past. I don't know because I never heard from him. Even his fiancé, Lady Elizabeth doesn't know," Finny started.
"He is engaged?" I asked.
"Yeah, but he is thinking about breaking it off. I don't think he is that comfortable with her," Finny twiddled his fingers.
"How do you know that?" I asked.
"Well he was talking about it with Sebastian near our workplace and had some paperwork in his hand that dealt with his engagement. He is thinking really hard about breaking it off and telling her the news. But that is when the time comes, he will," Finny told me.
"But isn't an engagement inevitable?" I asked, remembering the time I was engaged to an arrogant boy who didn't love me at all and I didn't, vice-versa. He just wanted my family's wealth and when I wouldn't marry him, his family in revenge poisoned my parents into disowning me and when they did, they got murdered.
"It isn't, no," Finny said, "Why are you asking this?"
"I lost my parents when trying to do so," I looked at him wondered.
"Hey uh, if you want to, you could tell me. I'm all ears," Finny nervously smiled at me, not wanting to push anything, something I wished Ciel was more like.
"Sure."
I took a breath and began.
"I was ten, when my parents business of making jewelry had skyrocketed. My parent's business rival was in second place, and they hated our guts. Back then my mother and father were very kind and helped the needy as much as possible," I said, remembering all the times I saw little children adorned in beautiful pieces of jewelry.
"But then they decided to be 'nice' and asked our parents to make the relation stronger by the one way: marriage. But that boy, oh heavens forbid, was revolting," I said, cringing.
"He was good-looking but I didn't care so much for looks. He was a monster. He would treat me like a doll that he could abuse if he wanted to. And when he found about my powers…" color drained out of my face.
"Powers?" Finny asked.
"Snow," I whipped a handful of snow and dispelled it.
"Ice," I grew an icicle in my hand.
"Water," I melted the ice into a puddle of water floating in mid-air.
"And finally, blood bending," I eyed a cricket. Flinging the water to the side, I willed the cricket to choke itself, killing it, because it was on Finny's head. Flicking my finger to the left, it pounced on the sidewalk, dead.
Finny eyed the dead insect on the sidewalk and said, "Cool…you killed it?"
"Yup," I nodded.
"So what happened after that?" he asked.
"Well he called me a monster," I said.
"Oh, Yuki," Finny gave me a hug, making me slightly blush, "We would never call you that. Meirin, Bard, and I will be your best friends!"
I smiled and broke out of his hug.
"Then, it all went downhill from there. He and his parents figured that when I politely surfaced my resistance to the marriage proposal, my parents got brainwashed into making me use my powers which to them were considered beautiful, against them. That is when they got the wrong idea that I would hurt them and they threw me out. And after I did, guards held me down as I watched my own parents, get murdered before my bare eyes," I said, looking at the ground.
"And here I am," I said, "Sebastian practically plucked me out of the snow."
"I'm sorry," Finny gave me an apologetic smile, "I really am. I thought I was the one who suffered that much and would give too many lectures. But you really got it hard."
"It's okay. At least you said sorry," I smiled, "And you really didn't do anything wrong."
"Well eat up. I don't want to make sure a good friend of mine starves while all of us are well fed," Finny flashed me a bright smile.
I laughed as I ate my dinner and heard Finny's funny jokes and let him weave special blue roses into my hair like a wreath.
[Normal POV]
From his study, Ciel was angry. No, angry was an understatement. He was furious.
He watched Yuki's expression go from happy to sad to happy again with Finny and presumed that she was spilling her past to him.
Why can't that guy be me? Ciel added jealously in his mind as his eye slit dangerously as Finny delicately brushed her hair back while she ate and put a wreath of blue roses in her hair, making Yuki blush and giggle and laugh and make all the delicious expressions and possibly beautiful sounds that he should be making her make himself.
"Are you jealous?"
Ciel swiveled around to see his butler, Sebastian.
"We only took her in this noontime. Have you grown that fond of her?" Sebastian smirked at Ciel.
"What do you mean, Sebastian? I have a fiancé. I don't love her but I care about her, and that is enough," Ciel huffed.
"Yes, but we all know you might break it off."
Ciel sighed and then hardened his expression, "Possibly."
"What do you see in her, young master?"
"Myself. My pain. My sorrow. My longing. And my desire to be free," Ciel sadly looked at the glass.
"You seem to be attached to the young lady, I see," Sebastian stroked his chin in apprehensive way.
Ciel turned around and faced his butler, "But love at first sight is stupid."
"That is what you think, young master," Sebastian smirked, "But it is in the case for you. Sad thing your moves had only made her wary of you. If you keep this up, then she will be closer with Finnian-"
Crash!
Sebastian looked alarmed to his master and asked, "Young master?"
"Enough!" Ciel glared at Sebastian, jealousy obviously prominent in his eye.
"Yes, yes, young master. I won't utter his name," Sebastian sighed, "But how will you gain her soft side back? She hates me for plucking her out of the snow, and she hates you for calling her a pawn. Obviously she had it hard. How are you going to fix up this mess?"
Ciel thought about it. Sebastian was right. How would he fix this up?
"Apologize."
Ciel's eyes widened. He never committed a mistake. He was perfect.
So how is it he made one in front of this girl? How can she have the power to pluck out imperfections he never knew he had deep within himself? It is so hard and perplexing, a maze that could never be sorted out in the end. Ciel never apologized. So how should he do it?
"You can start out by saying you are sorry, or you apologize, and state you didn't mean to call her a pawn and tell her your past wasn't the best either. She will understand and if she tries to pry information which I think she won't, just say it isn't of her concern until you wish to tell her," Sebastian finalized.
"But she is a pawn," Ciel frowned.
"But is she?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?" Ciel asked in pure curiousity.
"Young master, you are very much clueless," Sebastian sighed.
Ciel didn't do anything and waited for his butler to speak.
"You are feeling on the very first day you meet her, things you never felt before. When she tried to scare you away, she snagged your interest and fascination, but not in her powers. When she said she wants to avenge her loss, you felt sorry for her and you undeniably created a soft spot for her. When you called her a pawn, and she ran out hurt, you feel guilt and sorrow. Tell me, is that what you would feel for just any young lady you meet in one day?" Sebastian quirked an eyebrow.
Ciel shook his head.
"And is this what you feel for your fiancé?" Sebastian decided to ask the question that had been snagging his interest the whole day ever since he plucked Yuki out of the snow.
Ciel's eyes widened.
Elizabeth was his cousin and he would love her as a family, but nothing more. In the end, she is someone who will never understand his pain although she isn't in his little chess game.
Pleasing Elizabeth and doing romantic things with her was like a checklist, a task that drones on and on and never sees the end to it. Elizabeth was never happy and content to let him live in his own work from the Queen. But this girl was different. She was a girl who didn't feel afraid of knocking sense into people she doesn't like.
"Young master? What is your answer?" Sebastian had a tint of worry being afraid of receiving another glare from Ciel to shut up for the night.
"No…" he murmured, shaking his head.
"No?" Sebastian became confused.
"I don't hold it for Elizabeth…that kind of feeling…" Ciel murmured.
"Then what are you waiting for? Cancel the engagement," Sebastian said the answer as if it was like adding two numbers together.
Warily Ciel shook his head and said, "I could, but do you know how hard she is to push sense into? She will never listen. She is infatuated Sebastian. Infatuated."
"You can always ask me to help you," Sebastian pointed out the fact.
Ciel looked warily and said, "Even if I do not love her, I still care about her as a cousin and I do not want her to be scarred."
"I understand that," Sebastian nodded, "But you should tell Lady Elizabeth sometime soon. She can't just live on like this, if you care about her so much."
Ciel said, "Mother and father just wanted the best for me."
"I understand, young master, but what I am suggesting you do is make amends with Yuki. Or else once she hates you and she decides so, she will not listen to your explanation," Sebastian said, "even though I am positive you have no harmful intentions."
Ciel nodded and said, "When should I call her in? Tomorrow?"
"Perhaps after a few days. She will be coming to your study to serve you but talk to her after a couple days when she has had enough time to sort out her emotions," Sebastian shook his head.
"All right. I am going to turn in for tonight."
"Of course. Allow me to tuck you in, young master."
"Yes."
[Yuki's POV]
I felt a little weird confiding everything in Finny, but when Meirin and Bard tried to tease him and coax him into telling what I told him, he said he would rather starve for a day than spill the beans on what I told him, making my heart warm up. I never had a very good friend before, and it might as well be him, right?
"Honestly! He wouldn't tell us!" Meirin pouted as we tucked in the bed for the night.
I rolled my eyes and said, "You all will know eventually. But Finny was the one I happened to confide in for today."
"Promise?" Meirin made puppy dog eyes at me.
"You will know soon, Meirin. But by then it won't even be a secret by then."
"Okay."
As I lie on my bed, I wondered. Do I really want my secret to come out? Or do I want it to be hidden, within the deep piles of snow and ice and water and blood, long forgotten?
.
.
.
TBC