AN: Just a note for those of you guys on alerts/favs(you're the best). This is a double update, so don't miss the chapter before! Let me know which one you like better :).

Send in the Clowns

Allen Walker had had a good run, but this was it.

He was going to die.

Allen looked down at his left hand, covered in blood. He'd been stabbed in the gut, and he was cold, and it was all his fault. He clamped his palm down over the wound and glared with half of his remaining strength. It was a good use of his last bit of energy, he thought.

"Che," his adversary spat.

Are you kidding? Here he was dying, and the jerk wouldn't even look at him? Was it really his fault that his little ball of snoop had flown its golden tail to find the closest member of the Order and found a bitchy samurai instead? In fact, wasn't that the little traitor sitting on that blue haired freak's shoulder right now? He could see all his tiny pointed teeth. He could even count all his tiny, pointed teeth, bared in a sharp grin. But no, he shouldn't do that. It might work like counting sleep and send him even more quickly into eternal oblivion. So he stuck to glaring.

Moments earlier, he'd been happily munching on some biscuits and carrying a bag full of goodies home, ready to cuddle up with Tyki again. It had snowed again, so the city was covered in white – lampposts, newsstands, sidewalks. Allen was in a wonderful mood, since it was a beautiful day, when someone cut him off on the sidewalk, and a suspicious ponytail swished in front of his face right before the jerk turned to face him. Because Kanda was, is, and always will be, a jerk. But maybe Allen was just bitter, since the jerk had stabbed him.

Then the demented samurai had grabbed Tim and waved the golem around in his face, yelling something about not needing to see that. Allen, of course, had no idea what he was going on about, or why he looked like he was mildly turned on. Or just angry. Sometimes, he really couldn't tell, with Kanda.

What did he care if Allen was shacking up with a Noah, Kanda had ranted. His own allegiance to the Order was pretty tenous at best, Ponytail had explained. But this, this using a golem to send him their little homemade video crossed the line. And at that point, the compensating-for-something tool Kanda carried around known as Mugen was still sheathed.

Allen winced. Dying was pretty painful, and taking an awfully long time. In fact, the death of a main character usually took a whole episode or more, and he was the main character. So he continued bleeding into the snow and having his flashback.

Anyways, Allen had a renewable source of red flags to wave at Kanda. And he loved doing it. So he'd blushed and stammered, "You, you saw us?" Stare at the ground, Allen. "What were we doing?" Big gray eyes gazing expectantly.

"Yes, I saw you," he growled. "You and that Akumaphile. I thought your golem was asking me for help because you were being tortured, but THEN HE ZOOMED IN. And I could see how much you LIKED it." He paused. "I'm going to vomit," he said, with an expressionless face.

"Well, I'm soo-rry for enjoying myself," Allen replied merrily. "Maybe if you'd gotten laid once in a while, your face wouldn't have frozen like that."

"Who says I don't, Moyashi?" Kanda snapped. "But after seeing that hologram, I couldn't even concentrate." He shuddered. "Do it again, and I'll bury you."

Allen sighed, and figured he was safe. But he still had some red flags left, so he waved them. His eyes widened. "You were thinking of me? When? While you were getting snogged by-" He narrowly avoided Kanda's charge, but Kanda wasn't so lucky.

The antagonized exorcist made a sound like he was revving up, accelerated… And a foot slipped. On a patch of ice. And then a Kanda, right onto his ass. And then his ponytail.

And Allen laughed and laughed while Kanda flailed, but didn't have the common sense to leave. He inched closer to the steaming pile of fallen pride.

"Aw, poor thing. People are watching us. Can I help you up?" He snickered, extending a hand to his furious frenenemy, who was just sitting up.

The jerk was red with embarrassment and wouldn't meet Allen's eyes. Kanda was a blur as he unsheathed his compensation tool and buried it in one smooth motion, deep into Allen's side, flicking droplets of blood gracefully to the side before sheathing it again. Now there was no way the Moyashi could ever tell.

Shock. "You – stabbed me for seeing you trip?" Allen staggered back, before falling onto the ground.

"Che." Kanda turned his head, still not making eye contact. "I didn't trip."

And now Allen was dying and Kanda couldn't even look at him. He decided he would glare at the idiot until he died. What else could he do while dying, anyway? He hoped the jerk had nightmares forever. Or fantasies, it didn't matter. He would haunt him.

"Oh my damn god," a new voice said. "Allen! Allen, wake up!"

I can't wake up, Eyepatch. I'm dying. Allen batted feebly at the hands trying to sit him back up.

"What the hell happened, Yuu?" So Lenalee's replacement was finally here. "Why did you stab Allen?"

"My hand slipped." He said dispassionately. "He fell onto my sword."

Allen took a break from glaring to cough up some blood, because he was dying. It wasn't your hand that slipped, asshole. "Die," he croaked. "Jerk." And he was proud of himself, having used the last of his energy to deliver the most important message.

"No, Allen! Allen, hang in there! We'll get you to a hospital!"

"Whatever," Allen heard, but he felt a strong shoulder come under his arm, and the scent of jasmine and blue brushed against his face as he was lifted up.

And then he died.