A/N: I see this writing style all the time thought I'd try it out
Robert blinked a few times as the world loaded up around him, a city square with a large fountain in the middle coming into view. He stretched the body of his beta character a striking difference to what he looks like in real life. Now standing at about 4' 5'', his blond hair now replaced by orange hair coupled with a full beard. Checking his inventory was empty he ran off to the stores to purchase what he had used during the beta, until he ran into someone the both of them bouncing off each other.
"Sorry sorry that was my bad" Robert said helping the pink-clothed woman to her feet.
"No no I got distracted…' she looked at him closely 'you seem to know what you're doing."
"Indeed I was part of the beta. Need any help?"
Her face became one of surprise, "Really? This is my first time playing anything like this."
"Not a problem, I was just going to rebuy my gear." Robert answered as he sent a party request which she gave a questioning look. "It shares experience so if we do some low level quests and gets you started and gives me a refresher."
She clicked the accept button, "Thank you… Odrim?"
"Odrim Stonewall at your service Miss… Lisbeth." He gave a small bow which she chuckled to. "Come on let's get going."
Outside the starting city
Odrim watched as Lisbeth fell down trying to kill the pig with her sword. She sighed as Odrim patted her shoulder, "Charge the attack… like this."
He walked over to the pig, unsheathing his hammer from his belt and held his shield in front of him. A green glow emitted from the hammer as he struck the pig, dropping it into the red. Aggroing the creature sent it charging at him. Taking the same stance as before he changed up again, this time his shield glowed before bashing the pig's body shattering it, the exp screen appearing in front of him as he turned to Lizbeth.
"A Focus attack makes killing monsters easier."
She bowed her head before getting up, "Maybe swords aren't my thing."
"Everyone has a weapon that suits them' Odrim opened up his menu before sending a trade request to Lizbeth 'here try using this."
She accepted the request and opened up her inventory equipping a two handed mace. Her body buckled slightly under the weight of the weapon as Odrim chuckled before helping her position her hands.
"Two handed weapons do more damage since you put all your body into an attack; let's try attacking another pig shall we?"
She nodded as she carried the mace towards another pig readying her weapon. She did what Odrim showed her focusing the attack as her mace glowed orange before striking the pig obtaining a critical hit and killing it in one blow. She looked surprised as the exp screen appeared before she cheered raising her mace into the air before tipping over slightly. Odrim on the other hand clapped as he approached to help with her weapon.
"Well done you've slain your first monster and with a crit no less."
She smiled and bowed, "Thank you Odrim for helping me."
"It's not a problem, now shall we get this quest done or did you want to head back?"
He didn't wait for an answer as he went towards more pigs Lisbeth right behind.
5:00pm
"So a shield is just another weapon?" Lisbeth asked as Odrim put down her drink in front of her.
The inn they had occupied was empty of people as they were still getting the hang of the game.
"Yes, I mean it's going to hurt getting this in the face, wouldn't it?" he answered waving his shield around to illustrate his point. "But it's not dual wielding since its defensive as well as offensive."
"But since I'm using a two handed weapon the game won't let me use both. That seems fair, it would be a bit hard trying to block and put your entire weight into an attack."
"Well that depends what kind of training you've had, people who use bastard swords can wield it with one or both hands as it's just shy of being a two hander so you could have a shield and you lose it, you could just grip it as a two hander."
Lisbeth stayed quiet as she sipped her 'mead' which tasted like apple juice. Odrim accepted the silence as he drank his mead looking around the room in the process.
"Looking for someone?"
"A friend who logged in the same time as me, but he had to make an avatar so I have no clue what he looks like."
"I'm sure you'll see him soon if not today then tomorrow."
"Yeah I can ask him what his name is later, if he stays for dinner."
Lisbeth looked up at the clock at the corner of her screen, "Shouldn't you get making it now then?"
"Devon would be making it for one thing; two having the inability to cook would hinder the effort even more and three trying to feed for two hundred would take much longer." Odrim finished his drink to the look of a surprised Lisbeth.
"T-two hundred? Odrim that's a lot of people, are you an employee of something?"
Odrim smiled at her question "Nope I'm their employer and I prefer they eat here… well there rather than some overpriced shop in the city. Can't get much quality food being away from the main land but Devon says he's feed larger and he's kept the cooks busy so I believe him."
Lisbeth didn't continue her questions as she finished her drink and looked at the time again.
"Going soon?"
"Yeah around six, what about you?"
"I'm staying on longer see if I can explore further away from the city. Find that hidden dungeon me and a few of the betas discovered while farming the area."
"What kind of dungeon is it?"
"Pretty hard, you have to be level 1 and it's a solo dungeon, out of the seven of us that found it only three actually beat it. It's got some rare drops so I'll head out there once you go."
"Geez not inviting a girl out, real gentlemanly of you." Lisbeth pointed a finger at Odrim's face who tried to bite it in response.
"I've been a gentleman the entire time, giving you a weapon free of charge and all."
"Thank you for that… truly thank you. If you weren't around I'd be stuck trying to figure how the menu works or something."
Odrim smiled and opened up his menu before a notification appeared in front of Lisbeth asking for a friend request.
"If you ever need me, at any time, just message me and I'll be there as quick as I can. You never need to do anything alone here."
He smiled as he said this causing her to flush a bit before accepting the request adding a friends list in her menu. "Thank you Odrim for looking out for me."
He ruffled her hair and grinned, "It's what I do."
After another round of drinks Lisbeth stood up and opened her menu, "I'll see you later Odrim."
He bowed as she went to the log off but stopped when she looked up, "Odrim where's the log out button?"
He raised his eyebrow as he stood up and stood behind her looking at her menu revealing that where the log out button was had no text to indicate it. He proceeded to open up his own and again there was no log out button.
"It's the first day and there's already a bug, not to worry. People of probably already discovered this and reported it so it should be fixed soon. But man that sucks well there's like thousands of players coming on so I guess it makes sense that some bugs would appear."
As he finished speaking a light surrounded them making them appear in the center of town along with a massive amount of other players. Lisbeth looked around at all the players as more spawned in while Odrim readied his weapons in case of any attackers.
"Lisbeth stay by my side" Odrim ordered Lisbeth who, unlike Lisbeth who showed fear, had a neutral face surveying everyone who was appearing.
When the teleports stopped a red warning sign appeared in the sky before the entire sky became red. The sky began to bleed as he heard a couple of players talking to themselves.
"And the sky is bleeding."
"Man they're really working for that M rating."
He ignored the duo as the blood gave way to a robe showing a large floating person hovering above the archway of the city.
"Welcome to Sword Art Online, I am lead programmer Kayaba Akihiko."
The entire plaza erupted into sound as many players spoke their complaints as well as others who just wanted to add to the noise and were garbling nonsense amongst themselves. Odrim put away his weapon as he held Lisbeth's shoulder causing her to look down at him. She nodded at him with a smile before adding her voice to the complaints. Odrim said nothing, pocketing his other hand and waiting upon Kayaba's words.
"Hey kind of talking here… okay I'll just"
A symbol of the speakers X'd out appeared above his head as the noise shifted slightly to laughter.
"Did he just…?"
"Give him a minute."
The symbol disappeared a few seconds later allowing Kayaba's voice to boom out again.
"Okay I realized what I did. Yes it was funny but its serious time. How many of you have seen Tron?"
Odrim raised his hand along with several others scattered amongst the crowd. Kayaba pointed his hand out counting the hands.
"Really only a dozen of you have seen Tron? BEEP I was really banking on that. Okay I can improvise. *ahem* Just like in World of Warcraft you are no longer able to leave. You will notice that there is no longer any log out button. To leave you must go through all the levels of Ainclad and beat Sword Art Online."
"So you want us to beat an MMO?" A voice asked from the crowd.
"Essentially."
"BEEP you man!"
"Whoa sensing a lot of hostility, don't appreciate it."
"Honestly when was the last time you heard anyone beating Everquest?"
"When was the last time you heard of anyone playing Everquest?"
'There's a game called Everquest?'
"Now if anyone on the outside tries to take off your helmet or interfere in anyway… well has anyone here seen Scanners?"
Odrim and the same hands from before rose.
"What? Really…okay." A series of screens appeared around him showing major newscasts most of them dealing with the Sword Art Online trap save for one that had a video of kittens on it. He pulled a screen up in front of him of a man's hand exploding into a pulpy mass.
"See that? That was from Scanners and basically that!"
A number of the players gasped and began talking amongst them.
"Finally seeing some gears are turning."
"Why would you do such a thing?"
"Steven? Steven is that you? Steven how are you enjoying that advanced copy of Sword Art Online?"
"I'm playing with my family."
"Oh that's right, happy birthday Timmy."
The sound of crying came from the same direction of 'Steven'.
"Cherish these moments Steven, cherish these moments. Now for you players who wanted to play women and you know who you are, I have a little present for you. If every player could check their inventory."
Odrim let go of Lisbeth to check his inventory along with every other player and found an item called 'hand mirror'. Calling it up, he found it materialized and small mirror and looked into it seeing his avatar. After a few seconds a white glow surrounded him causing him to close his eyes as the mirror did whatever it was made to do. As the glow weakened he opened his eyes and discovering he was now taller than most of the players around him spotting a tall African American on the other side of the court. Looking back into the mirror he saw himself as he would in the real world.
"Ah I see" he muttered as he looked at Lisbeth to see her true form.
Unexpectedly he found a girl where his companion had been about the same size as she was before her pink hair replaced with brown.
"Lisbeth" Odrim stated as she turned to face him then craning her head up to actually look at him.
"Odrim?"
"Aye it seems I've been found by the system." Odrim smiled down at her as he dismissed his gauntlets to look at his tattoo. "So they ported even these in, how interesting."
"I have stripped away your fake facades and revealed you for who you really are. Healthy twenty-something's. Good for you really surprised me… except you fatty way to bring down the curve. Anyway I will take my leave."
His body started to disintegrate as he floated back into the air before his voice echoed out again.
"One more thing I swear, I've disabled the profanity filter. Have fun!"
And with that the sky returned to normal, the apparent barriers keeping everyone in the square disappeared but not many moved until hearing one player.
"WE'RE FUCKED!"
Odrim chuckled as he turned around and started walking Lisbeth following behind looking around nervously as the players around them started to break down. After going down a few back streets they arrived at the back of a house near the front entrance.
"Odrim what are we doing here?"
He didn't answer as he slip his hand against a beam revealing a small number pad which he typed in quickly, opening a cache in the house.
"Before the beta closed I stored my armour in the beginner city just in case things turned belly up or if I needed the cash."
Odrim looted the cache before equipping his armour, the beginner armour being replaced by a wall of steel and a cowl covering his hair.
"But… but that's cheating."
"This is no longer a game Lisbeth, cheating is the way things need to be done. We'll have to proceed the next town before the other players get it through their heads that they'll have to leave."
Odrim marched towards the entrance before stopping to looking back at Lisbeth who didn't follow.
"I'm sorry Odrim I'm not as strong as you… I don't think I can just march off outside I…"
"It's fine" Odrim stated crouching before her.
"I'm not much of a fighter anyway, you are strong and brave not like me."
He grabbed her shoulders causing Lisbeth to look at Odrim.
"I'll send you weapons and armour when I can Lisbeth. Before being an adventurer I was an armourer in a different online game, I'll be back for you Lisbeth that is a promise."
She nodded as Odrim brought up the menu and pressed a button dissolving the party.
Getting up he placed his hand on her head, "Stay safe." Turning around he left the city and started walking down the dirt path leading further into 'Level 1'.
Obvious who I copied some dialogue from SAO abridged is always fun and I like this writing style.