January 6th
"Misa," Light says into the phone, "can you come over to my house, and bring your diary? You know, the one you wrote about L in. We need to talk about something." He keeps his voice quiet so Soichiro won't hear. He needs his sleep more than ever, now that one of the shoulders that bore the load of the Kira investigation is gone.
"Sure!" she squeals in her usual irritating manner. He still can't understand why she thinks he loves her. Why would he have Misa when he could have L?
L is crouched next to Light on his bed, his thumb in his mouth, his eyes wide open and staring. He's been sitting there for at least three hours, barely moving. It's strange – he's barely eaten any sweets since he's been here, and when he leaves, nobody ever sees him. Light brushes those thoughts away. If L couldn't sneak away without anyone seeing him, he wouldn't be the world's best detective. "Save the affection for me," he states dryly. As if Light would just obey him like that.
"What will you do if I don't?" He will, but not because he likes L, just because he dislikes Misa.
"Maybe I'll disappear forever - "
"That isn't fair!"
"Are you okay, Light?" Misa babbles. "I'm just about to leave, so - "
Light ends the call and tosses his phone across the room, before turning back to L. He's smirking. How dare he.
"You know, I'm being very kind to you by staying here. I could just leave. I should just leave."
"Don't," Light says.
"I won't, because I love you."
"I love you too," Light tells him. It's a lie. It always is. Sometimes he lies so well he even convinces himself. "I love you much more than anyone could ever love Misa."
L rolls onto his back. "That isn't very much love."
"You should leave before Misa gets here."
He pouts. "I don't want to."
"You have somewhere else to go, right?"
"I want to see her face when she realises you don't love her any more."
Strangely enough, that's something Light has wanted to see for a long time. The way that their desires line up is a sign of how well Light has manipulated the detective. It's proof of his superiority: even the people trying to stop him love him. He truly is a god. But L cannot stay, because what he needs to do is undeniable proof that he's Kira.
He goes downstairs, L trailing after him like a bad dream, and flicks on the hall light. If he lets her, Misa will ring the doorbell and wake everyone up. He opens the front door and leans against the doorframe. Light waits for about ten minutes before her long shadow cuts into the light from his doorway. She's wearing so much black she almost becomes her own silhouette. Her skin shines white like his personal moon.
As she comes towards him, her walking turns into skipping. She bounces into his arms and plants a dry kiss on his cheek. "Hi Light!"
"Misa, be quiet, or you'll wake up my family."
She obediently goes quiet and clings to his arm. "Okay, Light." How hasn't she noticed L yet? Maybe she's noticed him and she just doesn't want to tell Light that without his permission. Yes, that must be it. He turns around and finds that L is gone.
She clings to him all the way up the stairs, which makes it quite hard to walk.
"Why did you need me?" Misa chirps.
Light closes the door. "Give me your Death Note."
"I – I don't think I can." She gives a wobbly laugh and steps away from his arm.
Light waits for a moment, then asks again. "Misa, give me that Death Note."
"Why?" she bites back immediately. Light isn't used to Misa being so independent and he doesn't like it at all.
He places his hands on her shoulders, and she stares up at him, giggling quietly. She's shaking, but her eyes gleam steadily in the dull lamplight. "Misa. Stop screwing around and give me the Death Note."
She flounces over to the bed, sits down with one leg crossed over the other, and pulls the Death Note out of her bra. How unhygienic. Then she holds it out to him in what seems like a sick parody of their first meeting. Her lips twitch into a smile, and then she starts laughing. Ryuk would be jealous of how long she laughs for.
Light opens up the Death Note and finds page after page of brightly-coloured deaths. He can't understand why she finds this so funny. Everything in the note is neat and colourful and – oh.
His name.
His name again and again, and hers, and his family's names, and then her name again.
Misa's still laughing.
Light is too shocked to move for a moment. "You're trying to kill me," he whispers.
This note must be fake. It has to be, because otherwise he'd be dead. But criminals have still been dying, so the note has to be real. So Misa's – Misa's fucked up somewhere. It's definitely Misa's fault. Everything's Misa's fault. Misa's laughing her pretty little heart out and that's Misa's fault too.
Light grabs a pen and writes down 'Misa Amane'.
Maybe she'll stop laughing when she's dead.
December 27th
Near spends most of the day creating elaborate card structures. According to her, the next murder will be on the 30th, so she doesn't need to worry about who'll die.
Matt isn't so calm about it. He's been pacing around most of the day, feeling trapped in this cramped apartment. He's smoked three cigarettes, then he'd put the packet away so he wouldn't waste them.
If Mello were here instead of Near, Matt's sure they would have solved the murders already. Then they'd have killed Near. Then Mello would have confessed his love for Matt, and Matt would say the same thing, and then they'd live happily ever after. And neither of them would die without the other one following. It's an immature fantasy he's harboured for much too long, but it's comforting. He'd never admit it, but he needs the comfort right now.
Near is terrible at comfort. She hasn't even spoken since telling him that because there are thirty relevant paint tubes, that will be the day of the murder. He's spoken to her, of course, because he's nice, but she'd just ignored him and built the wall higher.
When the sun rises as far as it will in the washed-out sky, Matt tosses one of the chocolate bars at Near. The card tower is almost as tall as her: for once, he doesn't mean to hit it. But the chocolate bar hits it, and the cards topple, and Near looks at him in disappointment.
"You're almost as bad as Mello," she says flatly.
It's the first thing she's said in hours, and it's almost a compliment. Matt's throat goes dry, and he goes into the bedroom instead of saying anything.
He brings back the duvet, slung over his shoulder, and drapes it over Near. When she looks up at him with her dull charcoal eyes, he shrugs. "You looked cold," he says. He can understand why she'd want an explanation: unlike many of the things Matt's done to her, this isn't obviously done to cause her discomfort.
Matt sits down next to her.
"What do you want?"
"What's your favourite thing to play with other people?"
Near is quiet for a while, then: "I don't know. I don't know any games to play with other people."
"Okay. I guess I'll teach you some."
"Why?" Her voice is so flat that her question sounds more like a statement. "Are you bored enough that you'll actually play with me instead of hurting me for your own amusement? I find this hard to believe."
Matt rolls his eyes. "I'm just trying to be nice, Jesus..."
"You aren't very convincing."
"Why are you being all suspicious?"
"You're Mello's best friend."
"Yes? And why would that make you automatically distrust me?"
Near turns away, and Matt remembers why she'd distrust him. He'd never stopped Mello from going after her; sometimes he'd even helped him. He doesn't regret it, though.
Near's started building a structure with the cards again. Matt picks up some cards and helps her.
January 6th
Misa can't stop laughing.
She tries to tell herself: this isn't funny, you're about to be killed, it's not funny, stop laughing. But even that is hilarious to her. Her stomach is starting to hurt from her laughing.
Light's looking through her Death Note, but he hasn't seen the worst bit yet. She watches his face closely. When his eyes grow wider, she knows he's found his name. His face contorts comically and it's just so funny and she just can't stop laughing.
Why did he even want to see her Death Note? The whole situation makes no sense and that's even funnier. She's been killing criminals like Light wanted her to – the news is proof of that. And there's no way he could have known about her little game. Nobody knows about that. Maybe Ryuk had somehow found out and told Light? Misa wouldn't be surprised. Ryuk probably wants her to die, like everyone does, even Misa.
Light grabs a pen and writes something down. She'd bet her life on it being her name.
If dead shinigami go where dead humans go, maybe she can spend eternity with Rem. She misses Rem. If Rem was here then Misa wouldn't be sitting here waiting to die, laughing.
"L, why are you here?" Light mutters.
The room's empty apart from Light and Misa. L isn't here because he died months ago. This is incredibly funny to Misa, and she keeps laughing.
"No – no, this is Misa's, she found it – no, it isn't what I asked her to bring, it was something else, I wanted to bring her diary, not this Death Note – no, I don't know how she found it - "
Misa's heart hurts worse than it ever has before. Light is still talking to the empty air. Doesn't he know that L's dead? Doesn't he know L's buried under a pretty white cross? She's always thought of Light as sane. She was probably wrong.
"L, you know I'm not Kira, now be a little quieter, huh? I don't want my dad to wake up, yes – yes,
she's okay, she's just – laughing and I don't know why, but no, she isn't dying!"
It must have been 40 seconds by now.
Her laughing is cut short by her death.
January 6th
Misa collapses and L watches her collapse and Light watches L watching her collapse.
"I can explain," Light says. "I didn't kill her, you know I didn't." He really, really hopes his parents are still asleep, because otherwise he's just ensured his own death. He grabs L's clammy hand. "I'll explain outside. I – don't want to wake up my parents."
Also he doesn't want to tell them he's Kira.
L seems bored. He sinks into his slouch as they walk together down the street. Light still hasn't let go of his hand, because L doesn't seem to mind.
Light stops under a suitable lamp. "I'm Kira," he mutters.
"Yes, I know."
"You don't mind?"
"I love you too much to mind."
Light's sure that L is lying, and that at the first chance he'll call the police. Tell them he's alive, tell them Light confessed to being Kira.
"You're lying," Light says. L's eyes reflect Light's face back at him.
"I'm not lying, and I'm real. You killed Misa."
"Yes, I did, because she tried to kill me."
L smiles. "I'm glad she didn't kill you. I enjoy your existence."
"I'm glad I didn't kill you, too."
It's a little strange how everything has gone like it goes in Light's fantasies. But he's not going to complain that everything's going his way for once. Misa isn't going to bother him any more, and L loves him, and everything's so perfect.
When he comes back to his room, Misa is gone.
Okay, perhaps not everything is perfect. Misa and her annoying laughter are still out there somewhere. At least this way he won't have to deal with her body, he guesses.
His mind feels strange and dreamy and empty. Light doesn't care. He's a god, so he has an excuse. It's okay. It's all going so well so it's okay if he gets a bit weird. Gods are never normal. But gods are perfect, like Light is perfect, and he thinks he's going to be sick if he thinks too much. That wouldn't be very godlike. Instead he kisses L and they curl around each other on the bed, and Light's hand curls around the crumpled scrap of paper, and everything is so perfect.