Tattoos and Thai Food
My head was foggy and yet every sensation I felt was as clear as ever.
He was kissing my stomach, my shirt having ridden up will I was asleep, as lightly and as swiftly as I have previously experienced, a cool breeze where he would just kiss me. He had begun a trail down to my cotton panties, pulling them down torturously slow, agonizing. He ignores the spot he had uncovered focusing now on my thighs, panties now on the floor, he was nipping my inner thigh and suddenly he bites down on me. It doesn't hurt, it feels good really good, I'm crying out trying to get his mouth closer to me. He moves away from my thigh, blood running down from the bite, and stares at me for a minute before he is kissing me. His mouth was covered red, I could taste myself on his tongue, and he smiles at me like he has a secret. I brush the corner of his mouth with my thumb taking away some of the red and sucking on it in between my lips as I stare at him. He moves back down my body finally reaching me, his tongue entering me stroking my walls, sucking on my lips, his nose rubbing on me when he isn't nibbling. My legs are around his head trying to prevent his head from moving from his location, but it is no use he pulls away. His ice blue eyes staring into mine, we only look at each other for the next few moments as he slides into me and starts moving in and out slowly. I move my gaze, my head falling back gasping at the sensations clawing at his back scraping him with my nails, one hand falling to the white linen sheets and grabbing hold of them. He doesn't move his gaze at all, I try to move my hips to make him go faster but he doesn't let it happen, he controls the movement, slowly moving in and out of me making me beg. His only response is lightly kissing my mouth, his focus still on my eyes following me, watching me writhe in pleasure, whimpering. I am the only noise in the room; he is completely quiet paying all his attention to my eyes, like he is trying to get a message across. Finally we reach our peak, he goes slower as he is thrusting into me as I am coming, he does not move his gaze away from me at all until he comes and rests his forehead against my shoulder kissing whatever skin of mine he can reach.
We were now lying on our backs; the sheets gathering deliciously around his waste my breast had still been exposed. I didn't even care I wasn't hiding myself around him, I loved this man. All I could think as I stared at his sleeping figure was I wanted to kiss the tattoo he had on his ribs.
He starts moving around searching the bed for me and spooning me when he finds me, I comply. He whispers in my ear with his hair tickling the side of my face.
"I love you, Lena."
I sit up straight in my bed gasping unable to breathe with the realization that I had a sex dream about Damon Salvatore. It was so vivid, it felt so real. I started to turn my head checking the room for Damon, feeling the other side of the bed to make sure. He was not there that was for sure.
Getting it out of my mind I focus on getting ready for school, there was no game this week so I didn't have to put on my cheer uniform. I put on a simple black tank top and some denim shorts along with my necklace. My pony high and my makeup checked I head out the door to my Honda fit. I leave without seeing Jenna and Jeremy. Jenna having some meeting with her advisor for her thesis, and Jeremy doing what Jeremy always does when he notices he is running low on pain pills, running to Vicki.
Vicki being Matt's sister was a tan, sandy brunette and had a funny looking birthmark on her neck. She hangs out with all of the junkies in the school and Jeremy was in love with because she mistakenly made out with him when she thought he was Tyler one day while she was high. She told me so I could tell Jeremy, she didn't want to see his face when she broke his heart, I tried to tell him but despite my efforts he still followed her around like a puppy dog.
Pulling into the school parking lot I found Bonnie and Caroline talking as they stood on the lawn in front of the school.
"Hey guys." I say smiling at them.
They are looking like they are hiding something, Bon biting her lip and Care act as if she is ready to pull away from where she is standing.
"What guys, what are you going to tell me even though you don't want to?"
"Okay, Okay we'll tell you Elena, but you have to understand we don't want to tell you because we love you and we never want to hurt you. So promise you won't get mad, promise me, swear on your Prada sandals that you won't get mad." Caroline says all determined and serious, like a pair of shoes is the most important thing in my life. Her eyes were wide and her head was leaning forward more like it does when she's getting dramatic.
"Alright Care I swear on my Prada sandals that I will not get mad." I say with three fingers in the air like I am a girl scout, "Now tell me what you know."
They share a look determining who is going to tell, Bonnie goes to speak and Care suddenly bursts out unable to control herself.
"I kissed Matt at the bonfire this weekend! I'm sorry I was drunk and he was drunk we were both feeling vulnerable and lonely and it just happened. He was being all sweet and I was sad and drunk and he was there being so nice and I just kissed him. Elena I would never purposefully do something hurtful to you, all I could think about after it happened was how horrible I was and how could I do this to you when you're always such a good friend to me, am a horrible friend horrible, and when I called Bonnie to come get me I told her and I couldn't stop crying and it was the worst thing I have ever done to a friend and I will never kiss him again I am so sorry Elena."
She is frantic and rambling like a mad woman, I roll my eyes and say, "I'm not mad Caroline."
"You're not? You're sure you're not made at me because if my friend did something like that to me I would never forgive them, I mean I would scream and curse and even try to hurt them or in my case actually hurt them. I mean—"
"Care", Bonnie says getting her to stop her rambling.
"Caroline I am not mad at you I even swore on my Gucci sandals I wouldn't be mad."
"They were your Prada sand—"
"My Prada sandals then, the point is that I am not mad you were drunk, he was drunk and you were both in a state of vulnerability. Truth is I haven't really been invested in the relationship since my parents died but I thought some normalcy would help me adjust, and it did, for a while but it was time to move on from that and start doing something that helps me get out of my rut, do something different." I say with resolve."
Both of them have their sad faces on like they want to hug me and make me tea.
"Oh come on guys stop it, I am okay, let's talk about something fun or anything at all."
Bonnie smiles; she embraced the change in conversation and informed me that she will throw us a girl's night for us tonight as we walk to class. Vedging out, eating Thai food and doing whatever we want, including getting into the liquor her parents have and whatever alcohol we bring along.
We were all sitting around Bonnie's living room table, it was covered in food. Tom Yum Goong, Sesame Noodles, Fried Wontons, Dumplings, Pad Thai, Spring Rolls, Brown Rice, Fried Rice, Pad King, and Sweet and Sour Chicken.
Bonnie was a girl who liked her appetizers, making a whole meal out of rice, dumplings, wantons whatever she got her hands on, her own mini feast. Caroline liked things a little spicy and went for the Tom Yum Goong with Spring Rolls; she loved dipping them into the soup. I am personally a fan of Sweet and Sour Chicken and Fried Wontons; I liked the taste slightly tangy from sautéed pineapples.
Bonnie had the tequila Caroline brought over and the scotch I took from Damon's stash, we had finished of the beer from her father's office fridge. We were taking shots and care had gotten drunkenly depressed.
"I'm sorry Elena, I didn't mean to kiss matt, he just had those blue eyes staring at me and those soft pink lips— like clouds!, pink soft clouds", sighing she pops up again, "cotton candy oooh! Can we get cotton candy its sooo good and sugary and pink, please please!" she's lying on her side now giggling and grabbing at my ankles pleading.
Kicking her grabby hands away from my feet I laugh, " Caroline your drunk, we go out for cotton candy your mom is going to—"
"But fluffy sugary pink matt lips! please!"
"— question you take you home and you'll never get to see fluffy pink matt lips every again." I say laughing at how ridiculous what I just said sounded. Caroline was back on the floor picking at her rice pouting.
She pops up again all giggly and bouncy, "ooh! Ooh!, I know, we can play a game!"
Me and bonnie sharing amused looks both of us knowing what she was about to say and that we would play just to stop her next drunken idea, which in experience always turns out bad.
"Sure care we'll play your game, you want to tell us what it is?" humoring her.
"The Never game, we all say something we've never done and we take shots if we did it" more giggling ensues. "I'll go first."
Bonnie started to go and fill our shot glasses with the tequila.
"Okay, okay, ummmm.., Okay I know, I've neverrrrr, I've never gone into the boy's bathroom." She says holding her shot thumbing the rim and smiling straight at me.
Bonnie is the first to take a shot.
"Oh my god! Bon bon when did this happen?! Why didn't you tell us!"
Bonnie begins as I take my shot, "I never told because it's embarrassing", she says staring at her empty shot glass, " I was walking to class an some bitch shoved me to get ahead and I wasn't paying attention and she shoved me enough that I fell into the boys bathroom." Filling her glass we are all silent, I break.
Laughing hysterically bonnie throws a pillow at me. Holding my stomach gasping for air Caroline starts laughing as well and bonnie falls prey to the hilarity of the situation.
"I'm", gasp, "sorry", gasp, "Bon it's just too funny, I can't help but picture you having this confused face and a bunch of boys in there looking at you." I couldn't continue it was too funny and I couldn't get any air having to gasp at any opportunity.
"Okay well quiet guys it's my turn so control yourselves." Bonnie says thinking of what she is going to say as we collect ourselves, me having finally calmed and Caroline giggly sporadically.
"I've never had a dirty dream about Damon Salvatore." Staring at Caroline as she takes a shot, still giggling.
I try to take my shot without anyone noticing. It's my turn.
I subtly pour my next shot, "I've never—"
"Elena wasn't your glass full?, did you just take a shot?, did you have a dirty dream about Damon?" Bonnie stopped talking stunned, Caroline no longer giggling. They gazed at me silently waiting for an answer. I avoided looking at their expressions and fiddled with the label of the tequila bottle, rubbing of a corner of it.
"Yes." whispering to a point that bonnie had to strain to hear me.
"When." Caroline finally speaks, I look at her.
I did what she did to me and it made me sick, sure she hates him now and he used her as a blood bag but I was never the friend to go after the others exe. I never blamed Caroline for what she did, how could I punish her for doing something that I've already done to her. At least she had the decency to tell me. The guilt was heavy in my gut making me sick.
"Last night, I went to bed after Damon left, and it just happened." Still whispering I look at them. My friends, we told each other every big thing that had ever happened in our lives and I've been hiding a bomb like this and it just blew up.
The game was over and this revelation sobered us up completely.
"uck! I'm going to be sick!" Caroline says running for the bathroom, leaving it open to hear the rest of the conversation. In between hurls saying that this was in no way a response to me having a sex dream about Damon.
Bonnie had come to sit next to me holding a pillow from the coach to her chest.
"It just felt so real, like he was in the room with me…" I trail off and bonnie starts smiling.
"Was it good?" the question they were both thinking.
Caroline's bathroom sounds had come to an end, they were waiting for an answer.
I didn't want to admit it. The dream was actually better than any experience I have had up till now. When I went over to Damon's place I had tried to avoid him hoping he wasn't there and that I could get out before he knew I was there. All I really thought about the whole day was the tattoo and when I could see it again. I would start to feel guilty immediately after, I had just broken up with matt and here I am thinking about naughty Damon dreams and body parts.
"It was better than all of the experience I have developed since me and Matt. And Damon had this tattoo and I just kept wanting to see what it tasted like, it was right on his ribs and—", reaching into my bag and pulling out my notebook and turning to my notes from today's French class and handing them to Bonnie, "Here, I couldn't stop drawing it all day."
Bonnie looked down at the drawings. It was like a star trapped inside the sun and surrounding a small circle at the center of the star. I couldn't help but think of Damon whenever I saw it, even if I only saw it in my mind. Bon had started touching it, looking concerned.
Caroline walked back in, mouth minty fresh and peered down at the sketches. "Damon doesn't have a tattoo on his ribs, he has one on his forearm though, it's some saying, what was it, umm, hickey nuns, no, hic up monks?, no, —"
"Hic Et Nunc" I say remembering it from the dream and my google search from this morning. "It means here and now."
"Okay well after all of this weirdness and vomiting tonight I just want to go to sleep and await my hangover in the morning." Caroline says walking down the hall to Bonnie's room.
I followed her but stopped when bonnie didn't follow, "come on bon."
She got up, putting the book down looking at for as long as she could before she had to look up.
"Yeah lets go sleep is what all of us need, Caroline is so sleeping on the floor, she is not puking in my bed again and hello she just had extremely spicy food, beer, and tequila. Not a good combo." She says looking at me smiling and going to her room to reclaim the bed for the two of us as I got care a blanket and pillow from the linen closet.
God help me if I have a Damon dream in bed with bonnie.
It was the weekend, the sleepover had past and there were no dreams, thank god.
But the minute I'm back in my home slumbering away I get the dreams. We would be everywhere, in his bathroom, his bed, my bed, the dresser, the wall, the shower, the kitchen, his kitchen, the living room. The strange thing being that I've never seen his bed or bathroom.
The punching bag had been my friend this morning. I was mentally and physically exhausted. These dreams were helping no one, and making others, making others, well want others.