The soft jazz music played incessantly while House and Wilson drank a brandy by the bar, away from all of the "straights". The lights were festive and the ballroom had been ruffled and bowed in gold and red. Both doctors looked dapper in their black tuxes, even though House had clearly decided that his five o'clock shadow was considered formal enough for a Hospital charity event. His hair hadn't exactly been combed either, but people from the hospital already knew what an ass he was and were going to avoid him anyway, so why look too nice, he thought. He had to admit, the dinner was delicious and the Artisan brandy was hitting the spot. He'd be sure to complain to Cuddy about how bored he'd been and how awful everything was anyway though. Couldn't give away that he enjoyed himself even a little bit.

Speaking of Cuddy…House glanced over to where he had last seen her, schmoozing with the donors and found that she had moved. At the bar across the way, House spotted her in her red dress splendor. As usual, Cuddy's confidence showed through in her chosen wardrobe. It clung tightly to her curvy frame and there was plenty of cleavage. A smile tugged at the corner of House's mouth.

House turned to Wilson, who had been solemn and thoughtful beyond normal tonight. He was clearly distracted. House had assumed he was feeling down because of his break up with Sam but now, he wondered, "Your company tonight can be compared to a wet blanket."

Wilson looked over at his friend, "Sorry, just distracted."

"Oh, God, you're not going to start talking about the Harpy again are you?"

"That's not what's eating me, House." Wilson insisted.

House's curiosity perked up, "So something is eating you but it's not Sam, so what is it?"

"Nothing is eating me, I just don't like charity events and the dinner sucked."

"You love this crap and they served one of your favorite meals. What is this about, Wilson?" House pressed.

"It isn't even about me so I'm not at liberty-"

"It's not about you, but it must be about someone we both know or else you'd just tell me and there's only one person we have in common that you wouldn't want to gossip about behind her back."

Wilson knew he was caught and also knew there was no getting out of it, "House, I can't."

House stepped forward and hollered at the top of his lungs, "Dr. Wilson was in a pornographic film that is showing tonight directly after the donation awards are given out."

"House!" Wilson pulled him back.

"I have it on my phone, always on my phone, I can project that puppy onto the wall faster than you can say 'Be not afraid.'" House hissed at Wilson.

The crowd had turned their way and whispers began.

"All right, all right." Wilson hissed back.

House gave him a satisfied look.

"I saw Cuddy arguing with some man outside of the hospital today."

"What man?"

"I don't know, she said he was an old friend." Wilson said, knowing that he was now in hot water with Cuddy.

"And they were arguing?"

"Pretty heatedly."

"Like she and I heatedly?" House asked urgently.

Wilson shook his head, "No, there was definitely none of the sexual tension that you two ooze when you go at it. She was genuinely angry."

House's jaw set as he searched for other questions to ask, "Hear anything that was said?"

"Nope." Wilson told him, he was grateful that he hadn't heard anything now, "She just asked me to keep it under wraps."

House looked at Wilson squarely now, "Good job." He said sarcastically. He looked around, seeing Cuddy watching them suspiciously but in the middle of a conversation with a donor, so unable to do much about them, "She told you to keep it under wraps in general or keep it under wraps from me?"

"In general."

"Lie."

"She might have implied you…"

"So, she especially doesn't want me to know." He took another drink of his brandy, "Past love interest?" House started his deduction.

"I'm not doing this with you." Wilson balked.

"I need more information." House said, his voice almost unheard.

"Don't even think about it, House." Wilson whispered.

"She obviously can't talk to me about it."

"I said no, House." Wilson began to talk over House and their words became jumbled as each tried to stop the other.

In the midst of it, House held up his phone again, waving it teasingly.

Wilson became silent and House smiled, knowing he had him.

"You're seriously going to make me spy on your girlfriend to invade her privacy." It wasn't a question.

"Yep."

"You realize after this banquet that the porn won't matter, you advertised it around the hospital so much, I doubt that there isn't anyone working there who hasn't seen it." Wilson pointed out.

"Oh, I'll find something else to bargain with." House informed him, smugly, "Better get started."

Wilson gave House a severe look before storming off in Cuddy's direction. She was talking to a security guard now and followed him toward the foyer. Curious, Wilson followed. In the foyer was the same man she had argued with earlier.

Cuddy gave him an austere look, "Nigel, what are you doing here?"

"Lookin' good." He drawled, admiring her before Wilson came into view behind Cuddy. Nigel's eyes met Wilson's and the former laughed, "I see how it is." He began to back away and Wilson tilted his head, confused.

Having seen the two disappear with a security guard, House went to follow. He had to bypass someone who was trying to stop and talk to him. By the time he made it to the foyer, the cause for alarm had left. Cuddy stood watching the door with Wilson behind her. They both turned when they heard House enter.

Cuddy gave him a put on smile and walked past them both without a word leaving them to turn to one another in confusion.