Ch.4

Shuuhei lay on his bed in the barracks of the 9th division. He couldn't stop thinking about what Renji had said earlier. Captain Byakuya Kuchiki loved Hotaru. For some unknown reason Shuuhei didn't like the sound of that. Was Renji right? Did he like Hotaru? He couldn't, he'd only seen and spoken to her twice. She was beautiful with dark blonde almost brown hair and her smoky greenish-bluish-gray eyes. She love music and she played guitar just like he did. It was easy to read her emotion they were written on her face and in her eyes… her expressive eyes. He should get some sleep before he got in trouble for sleeping on the job.

Byakuya woke one morning to the sound of Hotaru yelling at someone… again. Why did she have to be at his house so early? Oh yeah… she was supposed to come by for a fitting. His family and the other nobles thought that he should marry again and produce offspring. The idea made him cringe, especially when he remembered that they all would be watching his and Her every move after the wedding that his family decided to move up. A fact he still had not told Hotaru and a deed he was scared to tell her for fear of her wrath again. Maybe he should get Renji to tell her, she wouldn't try to kill him but she might also not believe him. She'd say stop joking and then lightly punch him in the arm.

She would likely try and chop his head off if Byakuya was to tell her himself. He wasn't afraid of anything or anyone… except her.

"BYAKUYA!"

"What is it," he said as he went to open the door to his bedroom. One look at her face told him all he needed to know. Someone had told her about the wedding date being moved up.

"Uh oh," he thought. "Look here it's too early in the morning to be making…" the look she gave him said "shut it or I'll shut it for you" in her case she meant it literally. "um I'm sorry about not telling you sooner but I… I was…"

"You were what?"

"I was scared you'd try to kill me again," he said looking at her bare feet. He sighed.

"Good."

"What?"

"It's good that you're scared," she said softly.

"What do you mean?"

"Byakuya… I… I have told you this before, but I don't want to marry you. I don't love you and I don't think I ever can."

"I know," he said sadly. "Can you at least try." He was glad no one was around this morning. He would hate it if someone could see and hear how scared and vulnerable he was right now at this moment when he finally told her how he felt. "Hotaru I… I l…l… I love you."

"You what?"

"I love you, Taru. I love you."

Tears fell from Hotaru's eyes then came a shaking sob. Byakuya looked at her with such concern and worry so apparent in his eyes. He reached for her and she let him hold her. She shouldn't be encouraging him, she knew that but when he called her Taru she just fell to pieces. If anyone saw them like this they would think they were lovers. That was the name He used to call her. That was the name that only He called her. She remember his scent, the feel of his arms around her, the feel of his skin on hers the night she lose her virginity to Him, the way he held her after watching her sick father die, and the way they had shared ice cream and kisses. She missed Him. Had Byakuya used it against her? He knew what the name meant to her. Did want her that badly that he would use the fact they looked and sounded so similar to take advantage.

She pushed Byakuya away and ran. She ran and ran and ran. She didn't run out of the soul society this time she just ran around inside of it for a long time.

Shuuhei was heading to the tenth division captain's office when a blur whirred pass him. He didn't know who it was but he knew that that person was crying. He wanted to go after her or him but had other things to do so maybe later he would try and find out what happened.

A few hours later he walked out to Captain Hitsugaya's office and right into the path of the speeding runaway. They collided and the runaway landed on top of Shuuhei.

When he looked at the face of the person on top of him, he noticed the tears and then the fact that this person was Hotaru.

"Hotaru? Hotaru, what's wrong?"

"He… He…he"

"Who?"

"Byakuya. He… he called me Taru. Only… only….He's allowed to call me that."

"Who?"

"Keiichiro."

"Who is Keiichiro?"

"He was my… my lover in the world of the living."

"You remember the life you had there?"

"Almost everything." Shuuhei moved so that they were sitting up instead laying on the ground with her on top of him. He moved her so that she was sitting his lap and he was holding her to him. She buried her face into his chest. "How could he? How could… he do that? He knew… he knew…"

"What?"

"Byakuya knew that that was the name that Kei-chan always called me. He used it so that he could have the upper hand. I was furious they move our wedding day up to two weeks from tomorrow. I can't… I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"I can't marry him. I don't want to. I don't love him. I have to get out of this and soon."

"I wish I could help but I don't know how." Had he meant to say that out loud? Did she hear him say it? He looked down at her and the look on her face told him that she had indeed heard him say it.

"You want to help me?"

"Yes." No point in turning back now.

"Why?"

"Because… because I think you are an amazing person and a free spirit that needs to be free in order to be happy, in order for you to live." She looked at him with an emotion he didn't know, one he couldn't describe even if he tried. She reached up to his face and kissed him with tears in her eyes.