Saruhiko sat on the older male's blue couch and felt like he was coming home somehow. It was dark outside his Captain's living room window, but still Saruhiko went and closed the blinds, wanting his privacy. Their privacy, really. The living room had a nice flat screen TV that looked like it hadn't been used in a long time, and it's owner's face was reflected off the black surface from the light of the lamp beside the couch. Reishi was waiting for him calmly, letting him walk around and fix the windows and make them both cups of green tea while he just sat on the couch and watched him with his eyes. Saruhiko went around for almost a half an hour while he prepared himself to tell the whole truth, while his Captain was as patient as ever. He was still wearing his outfit from dinner, they both were, but he had taken off his shoes and left them by the door and his captain gave his socks to wear so he wouldn't catch a cold.
When he finally sat down on the couch he sat at the very end, furthest from his captain who sat on the other end. He held the steaming mug of tea in his hands and wished he could be spirited away to anywhere else, and yet he owed the truth to this man-this man who was seemed so infatuated, so invested, him. Yes, he owed this man this much.
"I always saw things differently than other people, from my very first memory I saw bright colors and magical things. It was only when I was seven did I realize I was sick, I went to the library like I always did when my parents fought too loud. They fought a lot, with words not with their hands, and they never really cared about me-not like parents should. I was an object to them, their treasure to show off their prowess. I was smart as a child, but they were intent on forcing me to be a genius-I had to be perfect. I had tutors after school to teach me high school level courses when I was in the fourth grade, and it wasn't until middle school and they finished teaching me college level classes that I got my parents to let them go. They kept me in the same grade level as other kids my age, but in terms of kindness that was the only time they ever showed any care for my own preferences."
Saruhiko paused to take a sip of his drink, and winced when it burned his tongue. He didn't dare look at his Captain, didn't dare see the pity or the hatred or the love. He didn't want that now.
"If I scored less than perfect, if I get scored a 99 I was locked in the garage with no dinner for the whole night. To anyone else it might have been traumatic, but when you're sick like me it was rather fun. The walls wrote on themselves and colorful creatures that don't have names would talk and play games with me. Then there were the faceless people, who looked like normal people except that they had no faces, and they were always kind to me. There was one girl, I called her Maria, who would sing to me lullabies because my mother never would. She was my favorite friend."
His eyes burned at the memories of his friend, but if he was crying his Captain didn't say anything.
"When people think about Schizophrenia they usually think of monsters and shadows or things that whispered death threats and made the victims kill people or whatever, but my world was always bright and happy and nothing ever scared me. The clouds would turn into shapes and dance and the birds would talk to me and yet my parents never knew I was sick, either that or they ignored it. I had to be perfect, after all. I was alienated at school because I would talk to the air and laugh when no one was speaking, but the teachers never took note of it and I was never really lonely. I was always happy, always surrounded by friends that weren't real, always safe."
He drank some more tea, now just warm, and it soothed his raw throat. The next part would be harder to say, and he was sure he would start crying again. He took a deep breath and focused his gaze on the cup in his hands before he started again.
"On my thirteenth birthday I went into heat while walking home from school. A normal kid would have known that would happen, but every time I asked about Omega heats my parents said that if I wasn't an Alpha I was a failure. So I didn't known I'd go into heat then, but I always knew I was destined to be an Omega. I love children, even as a child I would watch mothers drop of their kids to school and want that. It wasn't that I wanted my mother to drop me off at school, I couldn't care less about that, but I wanted the bond that a mother and child have. I was young, I was a child myself, but even at thirteen I wouldn't have minded having a child of my own."
He felt his throat start to close at the prospect of being a mother. He had been one for a little more than three weeks and then murdered the child he professed to care about so much. What a mother he had been.
"When I went into heat and it hurt too much to move I went into an alley way to rest. Maria was with me, because she was always with me, and she kept telling me to get up but I couldn't think past the cramps. Then he showed up and it didn't hurt anymore."
His Captain had yet to say anything, yet to make a sound or move an inch, and for a moment Saruhiko feared he had been left alone to tell his story to the air. Well, it wasn't like he wouldn't be used to that. However there was a clink of china and he spared a glance to the coffee table in front of them to see that Reisi had simply set the now empty cup down on the wood surface. He refrained from looking directly at the man, not wanting to see his reaction, and continued talking.
"When I realized what he was doing and I tried to hit him but he bit me instead and I passed out from it all. I woke up several times but my colorful world was melting like ice on the pavement...when it all settled I dragged myself home and my parents started to scream at me for being a failure and my mom cried for herself and I passed out again..."
He kept the details out, not wanting to relive it himself, and kept his eyes focused on the plush beige carpet.
"My parents didn't comfort me, didn't explain anything or offer any sympathies, they ignored my very existence and didn't spare me a single glance for three weeks-and even then they didn't even turn from watching TV when I vomited my cereal on the kitchen floor from my first bout of morning sickness. Later that day my mom..." His voice broke as his vision of the carpet blurred with tears. He forced himself to continue talking, even though he kept stuttering through his quiet sobbing.
"S-She s-said I couldn't s-shame our family b-by having a b-baby and that I needed to g-get r-rid of it...she g-gave me s-something to drink and s-said it would h-hurt and I w-would be depressed for a w-while but i-it would get better...and I went to my r-room and d-drank i-it...b-because I d-didn't want to disappoint my p-parents...M-Maria kept telling m-me n-not to d-drink i-it and I s-should have listened to h-her..." Saruhiko had long since been drinking tea, the cup now deposited on the table, and ducked his head between his knees.
"It felt uncomfortable, like cramps, but it didn't necessarily h-hurt...until a few hours later when the b-baby a-actually s-started d-dying...T-They a-always tell y-you t-that Omegas w-who m-miscarry have it r-rough...t-that they c-can f-feel their baby d-die...but w-with my c-condition..."
He tangled his hands in his hair and dug his fingers into his scalp, his chest felt like it was on fire and the air he was breathing in heavily was stifling. His tears fell hot and fast, his vision completely blurred as he stared down at his feet, liquid diamonds falling to strike at his socked toes.
"I heard my b-baby die..." he whispered hoarsely, suddenly gasping over the lump in his throat, voice thick and strained as he continued feebly.
"It w-was so h-horrible...the s-sound of a baby in d-distress...I-I could feel my baby was s-suffering and wanted nothing m-more than to hold it and coo it to s-sleep...but m-my baby was dying and s-screaming so awfully that I s-started screaming with it...Then my parents finally came to see what was wrong and drove me to the hospital...I told the d-doctor everything and he just shoved me those p-pills that never worked and s-sent me home...and on t-the way to the doctors...when I was practically c-catatonic...I watched through the car window as my c-colorful world melted and the sky turned gray and the moon black...and t-then a-after a while the c-cracks started appearing to call me a 'failure' and a 'slut'..."
He could feel Reisi descend around him, wrapping warm strong arms around his shoulders and pulling him back to bury his face in the others shirt without ever saying a word. "A-and t-they say t-that male O-Omegas make the b-best m-mothers...b-but how could t-that be true when I m-murdered my own child!" he broke down into wailing sobs burying himself further in the other male's silent embrace, infinitely thankful for the caring man that bothered to stick around and hear his sob story.
Reisi could tolerate many things, from the strain of being a King to his lieutenant's disturbing love for bean paste, but this he could not take. Saruhiko need say the word and he would arrest his parents for child abuse and negligence.
How dare they hurt this poor fragile being!
How dare they ignore this boy and leave him on his own throughout his life!
How dare they abandon this boy to his inner demons and dismiss his every existence in his most critical periods!
How dare they make him murder his child!
Saruhiko cried in his arms and Reisi just brushed his fingers through the boys hair. He checked the digital clock on the television's black box, which read 12:43 AM. It was late, and they had work tomorrow, so it would be best if he and the boy in his arms got some rest. He wouldn't send the boy back to his dorm now, it was too late and Saruhiko's emotional state was too fragile-he would take it as a form of rejection of his confession, that Reisi was belittling his story, if he sent him back now. No, for tonight the boy could take his bed and he would take the couch.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of the boy's head and sure enough Saruhiko tipped up his head to look up at him with glistening big eyes and an innocent tear stained face. He was so very tempted to lean down to kiss those red rosy lips, but he had more self control than that.
"Come to bed, Saruhiko, it's late and we have work tomorrow. You can take my bed and I'll take the couch." He wouldn't respond, to make any comment, to the boy's open heart, he would save that for another day when they were both emotionally sound. Saruhiko nodded and got up while wiping the tears from his face. He offered Reisi a small smile and the older man smiled back and took the boy's hand in his own as he showed the boy to his room, despite the other finding respite in there earlier.
He unmade his bed and was thankful his room was clean and organized like it always was. He had borderline OCD and his apartment was always in perfect order without a hair out of place.
"So you can take any of my clothes from the dresser that you would like to change into after taking a shower, and I'll give you something to take before you go to bed that will soothe your nerves. Saruhiko nodded, blushing slightly in the artificial light of Reisi's bedroom ceiling lamp, and scurried off into the adjoining bathroom.
While the boy was taking his shower he went out to sit on the couch and stretched him out over it's length. What a horrible life...I never thought...my God...He ran his hands down his face and cupped them over his nose and mouth. He had various scenarios he had thought of, of how Saruhiko's childhood had been. These were all scenes he had thought of long before the Red King's death, and none of them were quite so horrible as the bare naked truth.
No wonder the boy was afraid of contact, of creating friendships...no wonder he was so angry and betrayed when Yata Misaki started to ignore him...how the boy seemed to always glare at Akiyama's parents whenever they stopped by at the dorms to goad Akiyama into having Sunday brunch with them. This boy was always alone...except that he wasn't, not really...but he had said all those imaginary friends and colors of his had vanished when his baby had died...and incriminating cracks had taken their place...and what awful things they said to him...how can he take hearing those things everyday?
He heard the shower turn off and his dresser being rummaged through, so he went over to his kitchen cabinet to get the sleeping pills and a glass of cold water for the other to drink. The boy would want to get a good nights rest after having such an exhausting day, and he would have trouble getting to bed if it wasn't medically induced.
He knocked on his bedroom door and Saruhiko shouted to let himself in so he did. The boy was wearing one of his white button up shirts and a black pair of his boxers, folding up his own clothes on top of the dresser. "Thanks for everything, really. Is alright to wear these?" Reisi smiled, "Your very welcome, and those are fine." He went to hand the boy the bottle of pills when his nostrils were suddenly assailed by a scent so very familiar but not truly welcome. His stomach tied in knots and his throat closed up, fighting for words, "S-Saruhiko y-you're..."
Saruhiko looked at him curiously, and Reisi was unconsciously drawn to the bare expanse of skin the collar of the shirt allowed. He swallowed thickly and forced himself to stay perfectly still, "H-Heat" was all he could say, and he watched the boy's china doll skin turn paper white. He took a few cautious steps back until the back of his knees hit the bed, watching Reisi warily with fearful eyes, "I-I m-must have f-forgotten to take my suppressants this morning when I stopped taking the other medication I-" He snapped his mouth shut and looked from Reisi to the bathroom door, clearly judging how fast he could make it there.
Reisi hardly blamed the boy, but he himself was having a hard time thinking through the pheromones that had started to clog the air of the room. The door was one that closed on it's own, and there was no reprieve from the stagnant cloying atmosphere. He didn't think he could reach his own patches in time, and he was starting to lose grip on his own self control.
The glass of water suddenly slipped from his hands and cracked on the carpet floor, the splash of cold water on his socked feet shocking him and draining him of his last threads of sanity. He succumbed to his Alpha instincts and the last thing he saw before slipping into desire was Saruhiko's frightened face and then everything was simply bliss.
Lol, didn't see that coming did you? Or maybe you kinda thought it was, whatever :P