1 year, 5 months.

Tris,

I know it should have been different. I still can't stop playing it in my head over and over again. The memory sticks out, bright against a sea of blur.

Caleb, give me the backpack. Give me the backpack or I'll shoot you in the leg and take it from you.

I try to fix it. I try to fix the memory in my head, so it says what I want it to, so that you know what I want, what I must have.

Tris, I have to do this. I have to achieve my redemption.You nod your head at me and then fire, quickly, not at me, but at the soldiers in front of us. I move, almost as if I've been trained, almost as if I'm you. I set the bomb and it's easy, my Erudite nature kicking in. It explodes and then I steel myself for the onslaught. As I walk through the serum as fast as I can, reciting the code in my head, I hear a voice from behind me. Caleb, I love you. I enter the room, and he's waiting for me: David. It doesn't matter if he shoots. I slam the code into the keypad, hit the button as everything seems to explode around me, and then allow myself to collapse on the floor, my purpose achieved, not even knowing or caring which of the two things actually killed me.

In my fixed memory, you're not you, because I know you never would have given in like that. You really would have shot me rather than let me die.

1 year, 8 months.

Tris,

I'm still guilty. It worms through me, destroying everything.

2 years, 1 month.

Tris,

I thought you might want to know what Tobias has been doing. He's trying to get into politics. He works for Johanna as one of her assistants now. He wants to become a politician in his own right, someone who will work to change the legislation of this world to make it fairer for everyone. I think that's what you would have wanted.

I think he's changed, even though I barely see him.

2 years, 6 months.

Tris,

Tobias told me they scattered your ashes on the zipline where the Dauntless went to test their courage. You both went up there together; they decided that that's what should be done. I let them decide for you what would be best, because I know that Tobias was the most important person in the world to you, far more than me. I'm glad that they chose what they did because I'm sure you would have loved it.

Even though I'm your only surviving family member, it's not my place.

3 years, 9 months.

Tris,

I don't know how much you want to know about this, but we've had some major breakthroughs in agriculture here. I'm sure the details would bore you, but the point of it all is that we've managed to make things much more productive. Hopefully, this'll mean that when everything gets put to rights, that no-one has to live like the factionless or the people on the fringe again.

It's selfish, but more than that, I hope this pays just a tiny bit of my debt.

4 years, 1 month.

Tris,

I heard that Tobias went out on a date with Christina. I don't know if he'll be happy with her. But I'm sure that you'd have wanted him to be happy without you, because I know you're not selfish, Tris.

5 years, 2 months.

Tris,

I hear that it didn't work out between Tobias and Christina, that despite her liking for him, he just believes it's too soon, even now.

Just thought you should know.