Hello there. This chapter is split into six sections, each corresponding with a prior chapter and host. The dividers indicate a POV change, and all sections are first person from a different host. If you haven't read the past chapters in a while, it may help to skim back over them so that this makes sense. This story is mostly about how Haruhi has changed, but these extra bits will show how the hosts have changed (because of love, of course! :D).

Chapter 7: Because You Loved Me

When I saw that man- no, that thing- touching her, the little flicker of worry that had been inside me burst into an all-consuming rage, perhaps the greatest I've ever felt before.

The world had never looked so red...

The insults they hurled at me meant nothing. They were trivial compared to the biggest offense they were committing. The biggest insult was them daring to lay their dirty hands on Haru-chan.

Because, now that I think about it, I love Haru-chan a whole lot.

I have always loved Haru-chan, of course, but I never realized just how much I did until that moment when I saw him holding her, saw the fear flashing in her eyes, saw the pained expression twisting her cute face that silently begged for my help...

I've never had to defend someone so close to me before.

Even my little brother, as much as I wish he would like me, is not as close to me as Haru-chan is.

The closest person to me is Takashi, but he has always been able to defend himself.

To see someone you care about so much in harm's way...

To be the lifeline for someone who you love...

I hurt those men badly, but... I could have done much worse... I wanted to do much worse.

Because, if the entire world was trying to harm Haru-chan, for her, I would bun-bun kick it out of the solar system.

When I was on the phone with her father, I looked behind me while Ranka-san was talking incessantly.

Haruhi was sitting on the couch, looking straight ahead at seemingly nothing in particular. Her face was frighteningly pale, and it made my insides twist to see her looking so sick.

Maybe if she had seen herself earlier, she would not have tried to convince me that she was fine. It was obvious that she was not okay with one look at her, but I know Haruhi is not the type to dwell on things in mirrors.

When I started to speak in response to Ranka-san's questions, Haruhi's eyes slipped closed.

I actually stuttered when I saw the tiniest hint of a smile appear on her face.

Her little smile would fade once in a while but would always return when I was speaking.

I had no idea why she would be happy or any other emotion warranting a smile right then. It made me wonder if the sickness had touched her brain...

I found out her reason later, though, after she finished writing her note to me.

I remember thinking, So it was my voice that she was smiling at? That's... so... cute...

To have earned any part of Haruhi's love is one of my greatest accomplishments.

And I will be sure to tell her that if she ever wants to know how much she means to me.

It was quiet between the two of us as I led her to the club room.

When we reached our destination, I only released her elbow temporarily to unlock the door, but apparently she thought that I was going to leave her to make her way through the club room blindly.

That bothered me.

I figured all of this out in the instant that her hand smashed into mine, and I closed my fingers around hers decidedly before she could guiltily pull away.

"Careless," I said under my breath as I pulled her forward gently.

I said it then, and I maintain my opinion.

Haruhi does not realize the effect her words have, the effect her little actions have... It's careless, really.

It's careless of her to think that I would leave her helpless, careless of her to reach out so hastily for my assistance, careless of her to make me have to prove that I care for her...

"Is there any way I can repay your kindness?" she had asked.

It's just like her to be so careless as to bring up what may or may not have been my kindness.

No, Haruhi, there is no way for you to repay me.

Why does she reach out for help that is already hers?

Why does she try to repay me when I am simply trying to repay her?

She's so careless...

I want to understand her, but a lot of the time, I don't understand her at all.

How can she know so little about art and yet be the inspiration for so much of my art?

How can she think so little of herself when she is so often in my thoughts?

How can she see through me and yet still not see the feelings I have for her?

"But, Kaoru, what if I don't have anything worth showing the world?"

How can she make me feel such intense, resentful anger and such gut-wrenching, desperate... love at the same time?

She invaded our world some time ago.

She has made me go from our world to my world.

All the time, she builds my world up, makes it crumble, and then rebuilds it again, higher than it was before.

"Be as honest to this canvas as you are to everyone else. If anything at all from inside you shows up on that canvas, then it's definitely going to be beautiful."

How can she make me want to spill out my feelings and yet have me regretting it as soon as I do?

How can she make me question everything I've ever known, tie my stomach in knots, and throw me into complete inner turmoil...

"Thank you, Kaoru."

...and then make it all go away with a simple thanks and the saying of my name?

When she was falling, I felt panic.

I didn't feel any pain when I collided with the ground, not even with her weight crashing into me.

All that I felt was panic that only went away when she assured me that she was okay.

The panic was replaced by a deep worry that such a thing could happen to her at any time, including times when I wouldn't be there to save her.

And then she looked up at me with that funny cake-covered face, and my worry momentarily slipped away.

The new thought that solely consumed my mind was to wipe the offending cake away.

How dare you cover up Haruhi's pretty face, cake.

She makes me panic and worry and get angry at inanimate objects for unknowingly causing her harm.

I didn't really feel the pain from the fall until the next morning, but it wouldn't be the first time she's accidentally left me with a lingering pain.

The pain from that fall was mostly in my neck and back, but the pain she usually leaves me with is in my jaw from clenching my teeth as I watch her give so much of her attention to others, in my chest from not breathing properly when she says something to me and only me, or in my heart when I think about how she has become so much more to me than I could have ever imagined...

When I felt like I could speak again, I asked her what was wrong, and her response was, "Mom."

My heart sunk even lower.

Was it this time of year when Haruhi's mother passed away? I thought, Was it perhaps on this day all those years ago?

"I'm afraid that I'll end up letting her down..."

What Haruhi doesn't know is that I am also afraid of the same thing.

My mother... she is beautiful.

She endured so much. She always did her best and didn't seem to need anyone else's help, at least not until the sickness came along. Still, she always loved me and Papa with all of her heart, and she never faked a smile, even when everything was falling apart.

Yes, she was always smiling.

And each time I start feeling like I will never measure up to her, I imagine her smiling at me, and then I know that I will be okay if I keep the smile in my heart that she planted there so many years ago.

As her child, I have her strength, and Haruhi and I were both blessed to be raised by such strong, loving mothers who have passed on these things to us, if only we will believe in them and cultivate them over time and with trial.

"Over time and with trial," Haruhi had whispered, repeating my words.

I want us to grow in this way together. Not just Haruhi and I, but everyone in the host club together. I want all of us to grow in friendship and strength and love gradually as we help each other get through life.

I know that having the other hosts in my life has been the cause of many heartfelt smiles, more than I ever could have expected.

And Haruhi has changed, too. Dealing with the rest of us has made her stronger, and her love capacity has grown so much since she has miraculously found room for each of us in her heart.

Yes, our mothers would be proud.

We're not there yet, but I believe in all of us.

D'aww. So much love all over the place. ;_;
Well, as much as I love this story, it's only got one chapter left. I hope you've enjoyed this so far.
Please ask any questions that you may have, and please grace me with your thoughts, if you could.

-Skye