Chapter 5: Incomplete Realizations

Leaving Konoha had been the right decision. Running The Seven-Colored Puppets had taken a great deal of time and energy. That had long been known to Alice. It had been less clear exactly how much of both it had taken. While she had been in the middle of it, Alice had thought her remotely controlled puppets selling themselves had limited the amount of distraction the store had caused her to a manageable level.

It quickly became apparent that that had not in fact been the case once Alice no longer needed to run the puppet store. Her semi-automated system may have minimized the distractions, but they had still been substantial. In fact they had been so much a distraction that once they had been removed, Alice was finally able to make a breakthrough with step 4 of her longterm plan to return to Gensokyo. She solved the dilemma which had stymied her for months, and it had only taken a couple weeks once she had left Konoha and all of the distractions the city provided. That even included the couple of days she had spent setting up her new home.

Getting settled in the forest had been even easier than getting set up in Konoha had been. Wood had been plentiful in the city, but it was nothing in comparison to being in the forest proper. Making an appropriate clearing had been fast and had provided more than enough materials to remake a house. The only thing which had taken a bit more time was getting all of her things in order. Unlike when Alice had been unexpectedly and inexplicably gapped to this outside world, her migration away from Konoha took with it a caravan of furniture, supplies, and general stuff. It took a couple of days to re-set everything and re-establish the patterns and schedules for cooking, managing the garden, and performing the other chores around the house.

The location Alice had selected was isolated in the middle of the forest. It was maybe 30 minutes away from Konoha, as the Seven-Colored Puppeteer flew. It was close enough that it would be easy to visit the city in a few months once things had quieted a bit and tempers were re-gained, but it was also far enough away that there was only a minimal chance of being discovered by any masked assailants. She had strategically selected a natural enclave surrounded by some mountains, and she had intentionally crossed a couple of unnavigable features of terrain to make the trip much longer on foot. It made it almost impossible for anybody from Konoha traveling on the ground to accidentally stumble across her house.

The isolated clearing Alice had made for herself was a nice one. It had a scenic grove of trees nearby and a good view of some mountains in the distance. Except for the lack of youkai and the absence of everybody she had known before, it could have been Gensokyo. It could have been home.

In fact it might need to become home. Alice had become stymied again in her research. It was a huge issue, too. Unlike her previous problems, Alice knew what she needed to do to overcome this latest roadblock; she just couldn't do it.

The solution to step 4 of Alice's longterm plan to return to Gensokyo sat patiently in the corner of the room in the form of Shimon. She was relatively unassuming in nature. She was average-sized, if not a bit smaller than most. Breaking through the barrier barring Alice's way to Gensokyo, whether it was the Great Hakurei Barrier or some analogous one, needed some major power. It was tempting to picture some huge Goliath-sized puppet wielding that power and smashing down all in her way, but that would have been counterproductive. Shimon was much more compact and would much more efficiently concentrate the massive amount of power needed to break through the barrier.

Which was exactly the problem.

The last and only roadblock to fulfilling step 5 of Alice's plan and returning to Gensokyo was one of raw power. She needed some major energy to use Shimon to her fullest degree. Paris was very high maintenance and draining, but Shimon took that to an extreme. Alice quite simply couldn't use Shimon. She knew what she had to do. She just couldn't do it.

Not for the first time, Alice regretted that Marisa wasn't present. Even more so, Alice regretted not having access to Marisa's mini-Hakkero. It was one of the few things Alice could think of which could possibly have enough to energy to power Shimon and open a gap back to Gensokyo. Alice had a fair bit of magic in her, but she just couldn't match that level of energy.

Alice hadn't given up hope yet, though. She hadn't figured out how to power Shimon, but she had only been working on this last problem for a couple of weeks. It would take her years of search and research before she would even start to think about giving up. It had taken a lot of time and hard work to become a magician. Compared to that, what were a few more years?

In the meantime, she enjoyed her time in this outside world. It was a pleasant enough place. She didn't need to worry about being attacked and possibly eaten by a youkai. On the other hand, she did need to worry about being attacked and possibly exploded by a masked man. However, that was no more a risk than the youkai had been. It was not exceptionally dangerous. It was just something to keep in mind.

The chance of encountering either was minimal, too, considering Alice didn't leave her home very often. She had little reason to. She had her puppets for company, and she had her garden for food and drink when she felt like it. It was similar to how she had lived her life back in Gensokyo. In Gensokyo, she would generally only leave home when invited by some person or some event. Unlike in Gensokyo, in this outside world, that never happened. She was never visited by lost travelers in need of safe passage to the Human Village, and the only person she really cared about in this outside world was disinclined to invite her back to his home or to anywhere else. It left her with plenty of time to devote to the passion she loved so much.

Alice had had lost count of the number of puppets she had made since leaving the city. Some puppets she crafted for fun. Others puppets she crafted for research. Many puppets she crafted just for the company. Her house was covered with a variety of puppets, not unlike her home in Gensokyo had been. This included a specific puppet which sat on a shelf, waiting for the next time Naruto visited.

That puppet was special. Even though she didn't have a name yet, Alice knew she was special. Alice had felt like this when she had made Shanghai, Paris, and the various other named puppets. This still-unnamed puppet already had a certain amount of character. She had short hair and she absolutely refused to wear a dress. Alice had tried a few times, but she couldn't get her to put one on. In the end, Alice gave her an orange shirt and shorts. She looked more likely to get into a fight than to do any housework, and would likely do the former if anybody tried to make her do the latter.

"Just a little bit longer. You'll have a name soon," Alice said to the puppet. She caused the puppet to look up and nod back at her.

Alice knew that Naruto would show up eventually. He always did. Unscheduled and unannounced, of course. He was unpredictable like that.

Despite his unpredictability, Alice had her own ways of knowing when he would visit. She had several lines of puppets hidden away in multiple layers to act as sentries around her house. As far she knew, her house hadn't been found by anybody besides Naruto, but she didn't want to take any chances with those people from Konoha. It was a bit of easy insurance to set up some sentries to watch for humanoid figures approaching.

One of the puppets she had placed in a sentry perimeter around her house signaled that Naruto was approaching, so Alice was well ready for his arrival. It took him far longer to show up than usual. She would have expected him to arrive at her doorstep maybe a minute or maybe two after he was first seen. It was more like five before Alice could see him approaching the door from where she waited to greet him. His bright orange jumpsuit stood out against the greens and browns of the forest.

Alice immediately guessed what had happened. She recognized the signs. She had seen Naruto like this only once before, and it had been a while ago.

"Did you fail your ninja test again?" she asked.

"No. I passed," Naruto said. He pulled a metal plate attached to a strip of cloth out of his pocket as he said this. He sounded incredibly dejected for somebody who had achieved the goal he had been working towards for years.

"What's that?" Alice asked.

"It's a forehead protector. It's proof that I'm a ninja now," Naruto said.

"So that's what that is," Alice mused to herself. It suddenly all came together. All of those weird people back in Konoha who had had those metal forehead protectors. They had been the ninjas that everybody had always talked about. They didn't at all match her mental picture of what a ninja should be, but in a strange way, it made some sense. Now the only question was who were those people with the masks.

"Congratulations," Alice said. However, Naruto didn't look very happy. "That is good, right?"

"Yeah. It's definitely good," Naruto said.

"Then why are you so upset?" Alice asked.

"That's not the only thing that happened today. I found out why everybody hates me so much," Naruto said.

"Oh," Alice said. That might cause somebody to become depressed, no matter what the reason was. "Why is it?"

"I don't want to say. You'll hate me too," Naruto said sullenly.

"No I won't," Alice said.

"You promise?" Naruto asked.

"I promise," Alice said.

Naruto still looked pensive but said, "It... that is... One of my teachers told me that I'm actually a demon. They sealed me in this form 12 years ago, after I attacked the village."

"A demon? Really? Are you sure?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. I overheard him talking with another one of my teachers when they thought I wasn't around. The other one was saying that I was still a good student despite that," Naruto said. "No wonder everybody hates me. I'm not even human."

"No, I got that, but are you sure you are a demon?" Alice asked.

"What? You knew already?" Naruto asked.

"Not that you were a demon, no, but youkai can sense other youkai," Alice said. It was a natural extension of the supernatural abilities all youkai had. It wasn't even unique to youkai. The more magically attuned humans, such as Reimu and Marisa, could also sense youkai. "I felt it when we first met, but I wouldn't have guessed you were a demon. You're pretty weak for that. I would have guessed you were a fairy of some kind."

"You're a demon too?" Naruto asked. He looked more curious than sullen now.

"No. I'm a magician, but that's just another type of youkai," Alice said. She was relatively sure she had told Naruto at some point in the past. She must have. It wasn't like she had been keeping it a secret or anything. However, Naruto's curiosity suggested that the topic had never come up before.

"But that's different. I'm strong enough to destroy Konoha. Aren't you scared? Even I'm scared," Naruto asked.

Alice was more than a bit skeptical of that claim. She felt little more from Naruto than she did from the demons sealed in the books and scrolls that could be found in Kosuzu Motoori's store, in the Scarlet Devil Mansion library, and dotted across Gensokyo. He was nowhere near strong enough to destroy a village, let alone a major city like Konoha. That was unless Naruto could hide his power as well as Mamizou Futatsuiwa could, and hide it more persistently than the Bake-danuki with Ten Transformations ever did. However, in that case, Naruto presumably would have already known he was a youkai and not be surprised to learn he was a demon.

However, Alice knew better than to bring that up at this time. Naruto needed to be consoled, rather than challenged. Alice may not be as socially adept as the Hakurei Shrine Maiden, but she did know enough to recognize that. Discovering that he wasn't human would have been a major shock, although Alice wasn't sure how he hadn't known that already.

"Not really. I could destroy Konoha too," Alice said. It would take a veritable army of puppets, but she could control a veritable army of puppets. That wasn't even considering the fact that, if she needed to, she could always use the Grimoire of Alice. "Most of the people I know could," Alice continued. She started to name people, counting them off on her fingers as she spoke.

"Flandre could." Not only that. If she wasn't careful, she could accidentally destroy the whole planet while she was at it.

"Remilia could." And not only just by using raw strength. A little manipulation of fate and the city would simply cease to be. Nobody would even be able to link it to Remilia.

"Sakuya could." It would take countless knife cuts to destroy a building, let alone a city. If Sakuya stopped time, she could do each and every one of those cuts and more.

"Marisa could." A Final Master Spark outside the form of a spell card could eradicate a city. There was no indication that the mini-Hakkero couldn't do even more.

"Even Cirno could." Then again, maybe that 9-ball couldn't. "Maybe." She was Cirno, after all.

"All those people?" Naruto asked.

"And more," Alice said. "It's not that big a deal in Gensokyo. Just treat each other nicely, settle your fights with a danmaku battle, and share some tea afterwards."

"It's not that easy," Naruto said. "Don't you see? I was the one who attacked them back then. I killed all those people."

"Why did you do it?" Alice asked.

"I don't know. I don't even remember doing it," Naruto said.

"Would you do it again?" Alice asked.

"No way. Believe it," Naruto said.

"See? That's all that matters. They should let bygones be bygones. Sometimes things happen. Just share some tea and forget all about the hard feelings after an Incident," Alice said. She thought anybody holding a grudge for that long was unreasonable. Still, it put a new spin on her plans. Given the apparent long memories and long grudges of the people in Konoha, she would probably need to wait for the Hokage to die and the memory of her fight to completely fade away before she revisited the city, not merely to wait for tempers to be regained. She wondered how long that would take. The Hokage did look rather old when she had seen him.

Naruto had the glassy look in his eye of having heard just one thing too much for the day. Alice decided that the discussion of youkai and manners had been too much for Naruto and moved on to something a bit more concrete. She asked, "So you passed your test then, right? Does this mean you can use the... what was that again... bunshin no jutsu?" It was finally a chance to find out what that actually was.

"No, but I can do something way more awesome. Watch this," Naruto said. His enthusiasm was back. He brought his hands forward.

"Wait. Stop," Alice interrupted him before he could continue. "Is this like that perverted henge technique you showed me?" Ever since that one demonstration, Alice had grown cautious whenever Naruto would show off a technique for the first time.

"It's nothing like that, although I guess I could combine them," Naruto said slowly. He got the thoughtful look in his eye that he got whenever he was planning an excessively intricate prank.

"No," Alice interrupted him again. "Just show me the regular technique."

"Alright," Naruto said. He re-raised his hands and placed them together in a strange orientation. The room was suddenly filled a flood of orange. Dozens upon dozens of Narutos appeared out of nowhere. Alice was pressed in from all sides. It felt like she didn't even have room to breath.

"Quit shoving!" one of the Narutos shouted.

Another Naruto shouted, "Move over!"

"I don't got anywhere to move," a different Naruto answered.

"Dummy, you created too many of us," one of the other Narutos said.

"What'd you want me to do about it?" Naruto's voice chimed out.

Chaotic shouting dominated the room. It went on for a few seconds until one of the Narutos said, "Just dispel some of us."

"On it," Naruto's voice answered.

Promptly the room was covered in smoke. It evaporated unnaturally quickly. In a few seconds the room was clear again except for Alice and what appeared to be five remaining Narutos.

"This is the bunshin technique?" Alice asked. Cloning. It was an apt term. Each of them looked identical. As a master puppeteer, Alice was well attenuated to noticing the minute differences between seemingly identical puppets. Despite that she could identify nothing to distinguish each of the Narutos from the other. Even the Sakuras held at each of the Narutos' sides seemed identical, and Alice had never seen two perfectly identical puppets before. In the past, whenever Alice tried to make some, minute differences would creep into each individual resulting in them being closer to identical twins than true identical copies. It was an impressive trick.

"No, we're way better," the Naruto on the far right said.

Shanghai flew over to that Naruto for a closer examination. She peered closely and started poking his hair and clothing. She then floated down to the Sakura in his pouch, pulled her out, and carried her over to Hourai. That Naruto withstood the examination and the loss of Sakura with mostly good graces.

"Yeah. We're solid and can do things and everything," a Naruto on the middle left said.

"We're way better than some boring illusion," second from the right agreed.

Something struck Alice about the clones. Their interactions suggested they were at least semi-autonomous, and she didn't notice any signs that Naruto was controlling any of them directly. It looked exceptionally promising as a technique.

"Are they all real?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. Of course we're real. Believe it," the middle Naruto said.

"No, this is important, are they really real. Are they all autonomous?" Alice asked.

"Autonomous? What's that?" the Naruto on the far left asked.

"Independent. They do things on their own. You don't need to control them," Alice said.

"Yeah, of course we can. We do what the boss says because he's the boss, but we're just as good as he is," the Naruto in the middle said.

"You are me," the Naruto on the far left said.

"See what I mean," the middle Naruto said.

Alice's eyes lit up. This could be the trick she needed to achieve her goal of having a fully autonomous puppet. She eagerly asked, "How do you do that technique?" She tried moving her hands to mimic what Naruto had done earlier, but she hadn't been watching him very closely so wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to do.

"You need to..." the second Naruto on the left started say.

"Hold it," the Naruto on the far right said. "Group huddle."

The five Narutos moved into a circle and started whispering to each other. Alice only caught snippets of things like "only her" and "village secret." They re-broke and returned into rough a line.

"Sorry, but I can't tell you," Naruto, seemingly the original Naruto, said.

"Oh," Alice said. "How about if I beat you in a danmaku battle you tell me?"

"Yeah. Bring it on," one of the Naruto clones said. He reached into a pouch strapped to his leg. A different Naruto punched that clone in the back of his head. It knocked him to his down to knees. "Idiot. We can't be betting village secrets like that." The target of the punch clutched the back of his head in pain for a second before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The Sakura puppet that Shanghai and Hourai were examining disappeared in a corresponding cloud of smoke, causing both of them to fly backwards in surprise.

Alice was disappointed. Besides her goal of returning to Gensokyo, Alice had never given up her other longterm goal of creating a fully autonomous puppet. This lead was a brand new one which could have helped her substantially on her path. It was infuriating to be so close but still be denied any information about it. If techniques like that existed in this outside world, maybe there was a bright spot to being stuck a little bit longer.

"But let's still fight. I want to try out this super cool new technique," Naruto said.

Alice didn't need to be prompted twice. It would be a good way to distract her from the disappointment she felt. She was also eager to see how Naruto's new technique would affect their game. She expected that it would add a substantial degree of difficulty, like fighting against a team of puppets in a way.

They migrated outside. There was a bit of a mix up at the door while the different clones figured out in what order they would leave. It was much easier for Alice and Shanghai to make their exit. Hourai stayed behind. She continued to hang in the corner of the room as the others left, as she was inclined to do.

Alice quite enjoyed danmaku battles and she didn't bother hiding her excitement. The additions of the three additional clones was certain to make things much more interesting. More bullets only made the fight that much more challenging and thus more exciting.

"Ready?" Naruto asked. His hands remained free of the rocks that Alice had grown accustomed to him carrying in their danmaku battles.

"You don't need your bag?" Alice asked.

"No, I'm ready. Believe it," Naruto said.

That took Alice by surprise. Without his bag of rocks, Naruto would immediately start on the faster unencumbered second phase of his attack pattern. However, he wouldn't really have that much to attack with, which suggested she should be ready for him to transition to his third phase almost immediately. Whether or not that was the case, Naruto had to have had a plan in mind. Alice wasn't sure what it was, and that edge of unpredictability added even more excitement to the game Alice was already looking forward to having.

They began.

The addition of the three clones did make things much more interesting. With quadruple the number of sources of attack, it was enough that Alice had to really concentrate to prevent getting cornered while she dodged. The additional angles of attack also meant that she had to give them a much wider berth than ordinary as she herded the shots around the arena. If Naruto ever figured out proper coordination and flanking maneuvers, he would be a force to be reckoned with.

The Narutos ran out of projectiles as quickly as Alice had expected. Without his larger store of rocks, he was limited to the handfuls he could hold in his pouches. Alice didn't completely let down her guard. There was always the chance that Naruto could pull out his kunai and other more expensive weapons. However, regardless of what he did, it signaled the end of what Alice had predicted and the beginning of the unexpected.

One of the Narutos pulled out a scroll. It was fairly large and far less convenient than the spell cards that were traditionally used in danmaku.

"Sealing Skill 'Infinite Barrage!'"

Alice snapped to attention. She had assumed that the super cool new technique Naruto wanted to try was the bunshin one, but apparently she had been wrong. She readied a spell card of her own, prepared to counter whatever spell card or similar emulation that Naruto was about to use.

The next thing Alice knew, that Naruto was covered in a miniature mountain of rocks. She stared at the outcome in disbelief.

A rock dinged off her arm.

"I did it! I got her!" one of the Narutos shouted.

"Yeah!" and "I knew we could do it!" the other Narutos congratulated him.

Alice was stunned. It wasn't that she had lost; she hated going all out and preferred to win by using strategy rather than just using overwhelming power, so losses to Naruto were unusual rather than unheard of. Rather, the extremely unusual technique of Naruto's took her aback, and the lack of reaction from the clones surprised her even more. She asked, "Aren't you worried about him?"

"Nah. The boss'll be alright," the clone who had managed to hit Alice said.

The small mountain which had buried Naruto erupted outward and sent pebbles flying everywhere. Naruto emerged with a shout and then collapsed in a slump. He was panting hard and looked half-dead. He didn't even bother to try to free his legs which remained buried in the rock. He gasped out, "I thought I was going to die."

"See?" the clone from before said.

"Why didn't you guys help me?" the half-buried Naruto asked.

"We got her good," a different clone said. Another one agreed, saying, "Wait until you get the memories."

Naruto was already looking substantially better after just a few seconds of rest. No matter what else could be said about him, he had an incredible amount of stamina, as befitting a youkai, sealed demon or otherwise. She could practically see the weariness disappearing from him as she watched. Moments later, Naruto gathered himself to completely pull free from the pile.

They left the arena behind and returned to the Alice's home. The tea and snacks for two had already been prepared by the puppets in the house.

"What about me?" one of the Narutos said.

"I'm hungry too," another Naruto said.

"No ramen?" a third Naruto complained.

Naruto, the real Naruto, dispelled the other Narutos in another puff of smoke.

Alice shared a light snack and tea with Naruto as pleasantly as always. Despite how unusual the danmaku battle had been, especially its ending, Alice felt much better after it and the subsequent tea. She was still intensely curious about that bunshin technique, but she no longer felt tempted to throttle Naruto and choke his secrets out of him. She could find out more about the technique as time went on, either from Naruto's using it or from somebody else. If a young Naruto could stumble across it, Alice was confident that she would eventually be able to find something herself. She could be patient and learn what she could.

There was one other thing she wanted to know more about, and maybe it wasn't a village secret. She asked, "What was that scroll you used?"

"This?" Naruto asked. He pulled out another large scroll and handed it to Alice. "It's a sealing scroll."

"Sealing? This is that fuinjutsu you were talking about?" Alice asked. She unfurled the scroll. It wasn't quite like anything she had ever seen before. It lacked the simple description of a spell that a more traditional spell card would have. Alice also didn't feel anything from the scroll, unlike what she would have expected to feel if a youkai had been sealed into the scroll. Alice had no doubt that the scroll was something special, but from everything she could tell, it looked like just an ordinary scroll covered with symbols and scratches that Alice couldn't make any sense of.

"Yeah. It was real easy. I figured it out all by myself," Naruto said.

"And that pile of rocks?" Alice asked. She hadn't ever heard of anything inanimate being sealed before. Whatever else could be said for this strange outside world, their sealing abilities were certainly advanced.

"It never did that during practice. I'm going to work at it more and make a super cool unbeatable jutsu. Believe it," Naruto said.

"I'm sure you will," Alice said. She quickly but tentatively re-curled the scroll shut and nervously handed it back to Naruto. She assumed it was safe, but based on what Naruto had just said, she was no longer sure. She had no desire to end up buried herself.

Alice's eyes wandered around the room during a lull in conversation. She saw the flash of orange which reminded her of what she had forgotten earlier. She asked Naruto, "By the way, what's your favorite landmark?"

"The Hokage Mountain," Naruto said without any hesitation. "I'm going to get my face on it one of these days. Believe it."

"I see," Alice said. It wasn't what Alice would have selected, but it was a strong name. It suited her perfectly.

"Why do you ask?" Naruto asked.

Alice climbed to her feet and walked over to the puppet. She said, "I have a present for you." She picked up the puppet and started walking back to Naruto.

"She.. she's orange," Naruto said in amazement.

"Yes, she is. Her name is Hokage," Alice said. She had just been named a moment ago.

"Hokage. She can't be the Hokage," Naruto said. "Whoever heard of a girl Hokage? It's just isn't possible."

"She isn't the Hokage. She's named Hokage, for the mountain," Alice said.

"Okay..." Naruto said, "I guess..."

"You don't need to take her if you don't want to," Alice said. She could feel the disappointment from Hokage.

"No... yeah... I mean... yeah... thanks," Naruto fumbled out. "I'll treat her well too. Believe it."

"I'm counting on you," Alice said.

Naruto stayed around a bit longer before he needed to go. He was meeting one of his teachers for ramen for dinner. Alice half worried about having spoiled Naruto's appetite, but where ramen was concerned there was no chance of that. The boy seemed to have a second, and maybe even a third, stomach reserved just for ramen.

He left in much higher spirits than he had arrived.

Alice bid Naruto farewell before she returned back to her puppet crafting. There was a new avenue of research to tackle in her goal of creating a fully autonomous puppet and she was eager to pursue it. She expected she would forgo her usual luxury of sleep that evening in favor of thinking about it.

Naruto's next visit was much more surprising than his previous one. Alice had known Naruto would return again at some point, but she hadn't expected it to be so quickly. She only had about a minute of warning before Naruto called out to her at her front door. Much like the previous time he had visited, Naruto seemed to be in a foul mood. He seemed to be more upset than sullen this time.

"My team's terrible," Naruto said when the first opportunity presented itself.

"Your ninja team?" Alice took a guess.

"Yeah, my ninja team," Naruto answered.

"Who did you get teamed up with?" Alice asked. She and Naruto took a seat at a table while Shanghai brought out some tea for them. They hadn't fought a danmaku battle, but that didn't preclude sharing some tea while she listened to Naruto vent.

"There's three of them. There's the bastard first. Sasuke Uchiha," Naruto said. The name didn't mean anything to Alice. "He's a jerk who's way too arrogant. And he's really annoying. He says he only lives to kill somebody. Who lives like that?"

Alice shrugged but didn't say anything.

"There's Sakura Haruno, too," Naruto continued.

"That's that girl you like, right?" Alice asked. He had waxed poetic about her a while ago. In fact, Alice wouldn't have been surprised if he had named Sakura after her. However, now that she thought about it, Alice hadn't heard the name come up for quite some time, outside of the puppet at Naruto's side.

"Kind of, but that's before I found out she was like everyone else. In the introductions she said she hated me, and she even made fun of me for Sakura and Hokage," Naruto said.

Alice already didn't like the girl.

"And there's our leader too. Kakashi. He's the worst one. He didn't even show up until way after everybody else left. He told us to tell him about us, but he wouldn't share anything with us," Naruto said.

"That's pretty rude," Alice said. Ignoring people and missing appointments was plain disrespectful. Overall it sounded like Naruto's entire team was quite terrible.

"And that's not the worst part. He tricked us to skip breakfast so he could make us starve for some survival test. I was hungry all morning. And then there was that stupid bell test. Kakashi totally beat us all up and tied me to a log," Naruto said. He got a weird look on his face and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Then they left me there and walked away. All of them. I didn't even get to eat any lunch."

"They just left you there?"Alice asked. She wondered what she would do in that situation. Probably use some puppets to free herself. But what kind of people would just forget about somebody on their team? Even more, what kind of people tied somebody on their team up to a log and then forgot about him?

"Yeah. I had to use a shadow clone to get free," Naruto said.

"And this is supposed to be your team? Sorry," Alice said. She could only imagine what Naruto was going through. He had been trying to become a ninja for so long. Now that he had achieved it, it sounded like it was nothing at all like what he had been expecting. She hoped she didn't have the same experience when she achieved her own dream of making a fully autonomous puppet.

"That's okay. I'm going to become Hokage, even if it means I have to carry this team all on my own. Believe it," Naruto said.

Omake:

"What do you want to know?"

"Things like your likes. Your dislikes. Your dreams for the future. Your hobbies. That sort of thing," Kakashi answered. He stared much more intently at the potential Team 7 than his lazy looking eye would suggest to a casual observer. He already knew the profiles of all three of them from their Academy evaluations and reports, but evaluations never told the whole story.

"Why don't you introduce yourself first," Naruto said. He was the class's dead last. According to his evaluation he was passable at taijutsu and the various weapons and tools ninja used. He was fairly quick-witted as well. What made him dead last rather than merely average were his poor chakra control and his lack of intelligence in everything beyond a tactical setting. Given the bias against the jinchuriki, Kakashi read the ranking of passable as meaning that Naruto's physical skills were actually somewhere between great and excellent. They must have been. Naruto evaded police and ninja, even ANBU, with an ease that chuunin and some jounin would have had difficulty matching. On the other hand, the reports on his ninjutsu and mental prowess were less useful. Taking the anti-jinchuriki bias and everything else into account, the evaluation only meant that Naruto could have been anywhere from abysmal to average.

"Yeah. You look suspicious," Sakura said. She was the class's top kunoichi. In many ways, she was Naruto's exact opposite. Her academic knowledge was excellent and her chakra control was beyond reproach. Her equipment use was average, and her taijutsu and stamina were poor. She could be outstanding in a support role, managing the larger strategic picture while staying out of any direct combat.

The third member of the team, Sasuke, stayed silent. It matched his profile and what Kakashi knew of the top ninja of their class. In a strange way he counterpointed both Sakura as well as Naruto at the same time. His physical skills were unquestionable and he was mentally proficient on both a tactical and a strategic level, as befitted his heritage as an Uchiha. His biggest flaw was his emotional detachment. He seemed unwilling to trust people and engage with them. In many ways he reminded Kakashi of himself when he had been an academy graduate.

"Me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I have no desire to tell you what I like and dislike. My dreams for the future? Hmm... I guess I have a lot of hobbies..." Kakashi said. He had no desire to share anything more about himself with some Academy graduates who he hadn't yet accepted as his team. Years of secrecy as a ninja, especially in ANBU, wouldn't allow it. Maybe if they became his team he might share a bit. Maybe.

"So... All we learned about him is his name?" Sakura asked. She spoke rather harshly. It appeared she had a bit of a cynical streak behind her facade of demure girlish innocence. The Academy reports said nothing about it. Depending on the nature of that streak, it could serve her well in the ninja world.

"Now it's your turn. From the right," Kakashi said. He selected the boy who would most likely comply with his request. He would be the most interesting one, too. Nobody knew much about Naruto except that he was a prankster and the container of the nine-tailed demon. Kakashi wanted to know more about what drove him, and maybe what he did with all of his free time, seeing how he had no family or friends.

"Me! Me!" The eagerness of the boy to be the center of attention was exactly what Kakashi had expected. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen..." A reasonable favorite food for a kid. "... and puppets." That hadn't been at all expected. Maybe from Sakura, although most girls had grown out of dolls by the time they were old enough to graduate from the Academy. But Naruto? Kakashi had expected that the two dolls crammed into a pouch at Naruto's side had been something else. One of the dolls looked weathered and worn, and the other looked new and just as starkly orange as Naruto's jumper. "I dislike the three minutes it takes for ramen to cook." Back to ramen. "My dream is to become the Hokage and have everybody in the village acknowledge me!" It was a big dream. Of the people to be able to do it, a jinchuriki would be more likely than most, although he would have his own special challenges to face on that path. "And my hobby is danmaku." Another surprise from Naruto. Kakashi didn't even recognize the term. Bullet curtain. Maybe it was some kind of prank special enough to warrant a name, like the Thousand Years of Pain technique warranted a name.

It seemed like his team leader's son had grown up in a very interesting way.

Before Kakashi could move on, Sakura asked, "You play with dolls?"

"No, puppets. Like Sakura. Believe it," Naruto said.

"What did you call me?" Sakura asked. She clenched a fist and looked ready to punch Naruto, irrespective of Sasuke sitting between them and half blocking the way.

"Not you. Sakura," Naruto said. He pulled out the worn doll from his pouch. Kakashi didn't see how any mistake could have been made between the doll and the girl. Kakashi squinted a bit. Maybe if Sakura cut her hair...

"You named a doll after me? You're a freak as well as a pervert, you idiot!" Sakura shouted. She then lunged over and punched Naruto. The hit had more of an impact than Kakashi would have expected given the kunoichi's lackluster ratings in taijutsu.

"This team is off to a good start."

The bell test was a good test. It let Kakashi find out the real skills of the Academy graduates and what the markings on paper written by bias teachers meant in the real world. It was also an excellent way to discover the natural dynamics between the graduates in the face of a stressful situation. Would a team form, or would they fall apart like so many other trash ninja?

Sakura and Sasuke had disappeared into the woods around Kakashi. They were relatively well hidden for genin. They weren't working together, but the test was still just beginning.

On the other hand, Naruto hadn't moved except to get into a position ready to attack Kakashi. Kakashi had responded by pulling out a book.

"I'm gonna beat you up!" Naruto shouted. It was a bold claim, and one which the boy couldn't possibly follow through on. Even if Naruto was as good as Kakashi's most generous interpretation of his Academy rankings, Naruto was still far from anything which could actually threaten him. Even most jounin couldn't actually threaten him.

Naruto raised his hands into a seal, and suddenly the clearing was full with 20 Naruto clones. It hadn't exactly been what Kakashi was expecting. He was somewhat impressed with the number of shadow clones Naruto had made, but it still wasn't a threat to Kakashi. He could beat 2, 20, 200, or 2000 genin-level clones with equal ease.

Kakashi calmly flipped to the next page of his book with all the coolness that Maito Gai always accused him of having. It was all a facade. In truth Kakashi was closely watching Naruto, his clones, Sakura, and Sasuke. It wasn't because he thought they were any threat at all. He was merely evaluating their skills and reactions.

"You know what to do! Get him!" one of the Narutos shouted. Kakashi marked him. He had been the one who had pulled out the scroll. He was probably the real Naruto. Probably. Kakashi would need to be careful. It could have been a trick. Most genin plans weren't that sophisticated, but Kakashi wasn't about to be fooled in case Naruto really was that deep.

Then air was blanketed with rocks. It was pretty impressive. It wasn't quite the attack that Kakashi had expected. They were just ordinary rocks. They would sting, maybe bruise, but it was nothing like a shuriken or a tag. But Kakashi played along and dodged them. Nothing came close to hitting him. He didn't even need to use his sharingan.

More than the projectiles, Kakashi kept watching Sakura, Sasuke, and the collection of Narutos. Both Sakura or Sasuke were shocked by what Naruto was doing, but neither moved to take advantage of Kakashi's supposed distraction. This meant this was neither some elaborate plan nor were they quick thinking or skilled enough to try to take advantage of Naruto's actions.

The squad of Narutos for their part were moving quickly. Their eyes especially, but their bodies too. They were very fast and precise. It was definitely at least chuunin level.

Naruto surprised Kakashi yet again. One of the clones, the one Kakashi had marked as being the real Naruto, pulled out a large scroll and shouted, "Sealing Sign 'Infinite Barrage!'"

The sealing scroll activated and a substantial pile of rocks appeared in front of that Naruto. That was a yet another surprise from the unpredictable Naruto. If kunai or shuriken or wires or something else came had come out of the scroll then Kakashi would have understood, but nobody sold sealing scrolls with anything as useless as rocks. Almost certainly that meant that Naruto had made the scroll himself. But the Academy evaluation didn't mention fuinjutsu, nor did they teach it in classes. There had to be more to Naruto than what appeared on surface. The Uzumaki clan was well known for fuinjutsu, and maybe it had been passed to him in his bloodline much like kekkei genkai did. Regardless, it did confirm Kakashi's internal evaluation of Naruto. He was sharp, if not an outright prodigy. You couldn't steal a scroll from the Hokage Tower and learn rank B techniques in mere hours while simultaneously avoiding an assembled force of ninja searching for you without some skill.

The various clones continued their attack. Each would drop by the pile in turn and grab a few handfuls of projectiles as they went on. They weren't very coordinated. They went on a bit longer before Kakashi decided that enough was enough. He had learned everything he could from Naruto. He needed to make sure he reserved some time to judge Sakura and Sasuke, and some time at the end to judge the team as a whole.

Kakashi hid himself while at the same time sending a clone of his own to jump towards the Naruto that Kakashi had marked as being the real Naruto. He knew Naruto was fast and Kakashi didn't want to commit too much just in case, hence using a clone. The clone started making a Tiger hand seal.

Sasuke's only reaction was a narrowing of his eyes. It was exactly what Kakashi had expected of the boy.

"Naruto, get out of there! You're going to be killed!" Sakura shouted out, in contrast to Sasuke's silence. It was a definite mark against her ability to stay hidden and her ninja skills, but it was an equally definite mark in favor of her teamwork. For the first time, Kakashi had the faint glimmer of hope for the Academy graduates.

Naruto twisted out of the way with all the speed that Kakashi had expected. And in the way Kakashi had intended as well. Kakashi had to adjust himself a bit, but Naruto's positioning was well within the tolerances of his plan.

The clone vanished with a puff, providing just enough distraction for the real Kakashi to lunge forward with his already formed hand seal.

"Ancient Konoha taijutsu supreme technique: Thousand Years of Pain!"

Naruto lined up.

The cat they were targeting for capture was right in front of him.

The plan was perfect. Naruto would herd the cat into a corner where it would be easy for one of his clones to catch it.

Naruto thumbed the rocks in his pouch, pulled back, and launched his first shot at the cat.

The cat twitched at the shot, jolted, and then ran straight away. Away from the rock. Away from Naruto. And away from the arena Naruto had mentally drawn in the area.

"Hey! That's cheating!" Naruto shouted at the retreating cat.

"Idiot," Sasuke said.

End Omake.

Last Updated: May 28, 2020