Hi All!

Hope everything is good with everyone. I took a longer break than expected but the good news is that I am done writing the fic. Yay! There are 10 more chapters so I hope you enjoy and don't be afraid to leave me reviews.

I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES ;)

Thank you SO MUCH to Lady Doughnuts for agreeing to review and beta the rest of this fic!

Chapter 22- You Know I Am Trying To Believe

"I don't trust you," she spat out to Eric's face before walking towards the exit. As soon as the shy ray of sunshine touched her face as she was walking away from the entrance of the hide out, Sookie felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt hitting her. However, that didn't manage to weigh as heavy on her as the hole that had managed to pierce through her heart because in that very moment, something had gone missing. She let her tears run down her cheeks feeling frustrated by her own rollercoaster of emotions. Sookie didn't know if her anger was founded, her guilt anchored and her sadness permanent. She was confused and wasn't sure which feelings were hers and which ones were his. Was it the effect of the bond? Was she now feeling what he felt? The feelings were so strong for a vampire that she even doubted that they were his in the first place. What if they were all hers and she was just too overwhelmed to make sense of them?

When she reached the town, the sun had risen high enough to awaken the peaceful community. As she walked down the main street, many members waved in a sign of acknowledgement but Sookie was walking too fast for them to be able to make small talk. She headed to her room and decided she would throw out the clothes she was currently wearing as most of it was ripped and stained with blood and she felt there was no hope in saving it. And if she was honest with herself, she did not want a reminder of the event that had just taken place.

After a quick shower, Sookie's head hit the pillow harder than she would have thought and was gone asleep within minutes, and even though Sookie had hoped for a dreamless sleep, she was rewarded only with nightmares. Images of the creature overflowed her mind as she quietly gasped in her room. She could see Eric with her, fighting by her side and every time that their eyes met, she was hit with sadness. As fast as the beast had entered her dreams, it was gone and only left the bitter taste of her own words ''I don't trust you''. She was staring in his eyes and wondered why she would have said such a thing and automatically apologized and explained it wasn't what she meant but Eric cut her off with a laugh pointing out he had warned her and maybe he should have left her to die. She was just so much work.

She opened her eyes with to the pain of his imagined words which were still lingering. She had these split seconds of not knowing whether it was a dream or reality but deep down she knew it was the product of her own subconscious mind. She wanted to run back and discuss with Eric like he had suggested they do but at the same time she was still very worried about her Gran and felt that the witch might be able to help. Since it was still daytime and judging by the sun, it was still a couple of hours before sunset and she wasn't going to listen to Eric and wait for him. She was done waiting. But Sookie wasn't stupid either and started wondering who she should go with, as going alone wasn't prudent. The only person that came to her mind, who she knew would follow her without many questions, was Sam.

She looked for him from the main street to the kitchen, pass by the laundry room and the church. She looked for him all over town without much luck. She then headed to the main guard tower as she thought she would have to touch base with Alcide anyway. Upon entering, she was greeted by Alcide who had trouble hiding his concern for her.

"Sook'! Where the hell have you been?" he asked in one breath.

"Well" she hesitated ''I went to see the queen remember''

"It's been days for a trip that was supposed to be only one. What happened?"

"Nothing at all! She just wanted my help for something, you know"

She hated lying to him but she had decided to follow Eric's instructions on this one. She didn't want a mass panic in the community and since they weren't alone in the tower, there was no point in telling him what had happened with so many people within hearing distance.

"We were worried"

"Now you understand how I feel about my Gran" she said bitterly "any news?"

"I am afraid we do not have anything. No one has seen her leave, no one knows of her last whereabouts. You were the last one to see her before you fell asleep."

Sookie sighed heavily. She had hoped to hear better news but the lack of it fuelled her desire of cutting the conversation short to see the witch. Sookie knew she needed an excuse to leave the community again so she asked if there was a duty she could take for now since she had missed a couple of them in her absence. Alcide pointed out to her that she had missed the food gathering that had been scheduled for yesterday and Sookie quickly cut him off to say she would go right away. She enquired about Sam and his availability and she was told he was helping a member of the community to repair their window and could probably go with her as soon as he was finished.

As she walked to the door, Alcide told her that they would have a more private chat in the near future and that he wanted to know what had happened with the Queen. Sookie grabbed a M14 that was lying beside the door and forced a small smile in his direction before leaving to find Sam.

She eventually found him, shirtless, drinking water on the side of the wall of the apartment building. Looking to the second floor she noticed that one of the windows was boarded up. She could hear Sam's thoughts rolling into her own mind, frustrated that he did not have a window to replace this one with which had resulted in (add "it being") boarding it up. When he saw Sookie, his mind stopped thinking about the window and wandered off to her, exclaiming how breathtaking she was even when she was dirty and looking haggard. She blushed before putting her shields up and hoped Sam wouldn't notice.

"Hi Sam! Want to go gather some food? I missed my shift yesterday"

He smiled nodding away.

"Of course'' he exclaimed. "Let me change into my dog form so I can sniff better''

Sookie did not have time to say anything since she already had a joyful dog at her feet. She picked up a bag that was lying around the apartment building and proceeded in picking up his clothing telling him he would need it when they would find food.

Once they were out of the community and outside the ward Sookie stopped walking and faced Sam.

"I must admit, I lied to you'' she said.

Sam, still in dog form, started crying.

"I am sorry but I couldn't afford having people hearing us. I need to go see the witch that put a ward on the community. I need your help though. I do not know where she. I am hoping she will help us find Gran"

Sam started sniffing the ground and took a good ten minutes before running towards the woods that were surrounding them. Sookie started running as she tried her best to keep an eye on her surroundings so that she wouldn't be ambushed by corpses who might have been of the running kind. She wanted to warn Sam at that very moment but he started barking and running faster until she lost sight of him and the barking stopped.

She reached the school bus in the clearing in the woods and called out quietly to Sam who came to her right away tugging at her to go closer to the bus. She then saw the hooded figure sitting at the fire who asked her to come closer. She was surprised by the request mainly because it felt as though the witch was expecting her at that very second. She walked slowly towards the fire taking a seat in front of her. She carefully placed her firearm at her feet.

"Hi Sookie'' the witch simply said.

Sookie replied with her own greeting with a smile and waited for the witch to make conversation.

"I know you must be wondering why on earth I asked to see you"

Sookie didn't answer and let her continue.

"Or are you here for another reason?" the witch asked with a raised eyebrow.

The witch was of African descent and her skin was fairly dark. She had long hair that had been braided with little beads at the bottom of each braid. Her features were strong and gave her a permanent stern look. Sookie was having a hard time imagining her smile and she wondered what had happened in her life that made her that way.

"I am looking for my Gran" she exclaimed at the question.

The witch's eyebrow came back down and joined the other in a frowning position.

"I haven't seen her but chances are, you don't want to see her again anyways"

Sookie was shocked by her words not sure how to interpret them. Sookie loved her Gran and could hardly imagine a reason why she wouldn't want to see her again but then it came to her. The witch was referring to her Gran's probable death and turning.

"I refuse to think she has passed without proof" she stated too proud to admit she was probably wrong.

"Fine" the witch retorted "But if you have any hope in saving this world, you might want to stop putting yourself in harm's way for silly reasons"

Sookie was irritated by the witch's manners and found it extremely disrespectful that she would talk about her Gran in such way. She guessed the witch could read her demenour because she quickly added, "You are more important than you think Sookie and I am sure your Gran would want you safe and not out looking for her"

Sookie did not speak and watched Sam take the bag beside her and walking with it in his mouth to the back of the bus. Two minutes later, he came out dressed and sat beside Sookie.

"Why did you wanted to see Sookie anyway?" he asked. The witch grinned at him showing off the little bit of white teeth that was hiding behind her lips.

"There is a cure for the virus"

Sookie and Sam both looked at each other and waited for her to go on.

"Sookie, do you know what you are?"

That question again! She was so tired of people asking her what she was. She had always believed she was human and never understood what the question was referring to.

"Do you think it's normal for a human to hear thoughts?"

At the words, Sookie immediately let down her shields and tried to prompt the witch's brain. She was met with a wall of mental blocks that threw her out of the witch's mind violently. She gasped at the headache she began to experience.

"Now now, that wasn't an invitation to my mind Sookie"

Sookie brought her hand to her forehead and didn't say a word.

"I am afraid we will have to cut this short'' the witch continued looking around her with a nervous look. Sam started sniffing the air and looked at Sookie in a panic.

"It's running'' he exclaimed in shock. Sookie had no idea what they were talking about.

"Sookie, your blood is very important. Your kind, they are the only one who could save the humans. You got to use your light and open the portal" the witch said in one breath while getting up and running to her bus. She was in and out quickly bringing with her candles and a bag. After putting the contents in a bowl and lighting it on fire, she started chanting in a language Sookie did not recognize. She took a pause and looked at Sookie and Sam. Her eyes were glazed over with a white cloud and in a deep voice she told them to leave before it was too late. As she spoke the words, Sookie heard the grunts coming from the north side of the clearing. She stood up by instinct while Sam re-gained his dog form. She grabbed her gun and followed Sam who was already heading towards the community. Sookie didn't dare to look behind her but had an idea of what was probably now swarming the clearing. She had a moment of terrifying images swarming her head; Running corpses. She wasn't sure why the witch would choose to stay despite knowing something was coming their way nor did she understand why she would instruct them to leave but when Sookie saw the wall of furniture on the horizon, she slowed down. She knew from the tower, the snipers would be able to take any corpses that might have followed them although Sookie hoped that none did as it would bring the cat out of the bag. No one knew yet that the virus had mutated.

They climbed the furniture wall putting their entire trust into the snipers that were watching them not to shoot them by mistake. Once they jumped off, they slowly walked through the field to the main street and at some point, entering the invisible ward which let them in without trouble. Alcide came out of the tower, heading in their direction. Sookie thought he didn't look too happy and remembered she was supposed to bring back food which she had failed to do. Sam sat beside her wagging his tail waiting for Alcide to meet up.

"What happened?" he questioned with anger in his voice. "Why were you running in this direction?"

"We were taken by surprised by a group of corpses. They seem to be migrating in hordes and we didn't expect them in the woods'' Sookie answered right away. She was happy Sam was in his dog shape which meant he wouldn't be able to explain why he thought they were running.

"We really need food guys" Alcide said totally disregarding the fact that Sookie and Sam had just escaped danger.

" Thank you for your concern" she coldly said looking up at the sky and realizing it was almost night time.

After all she just had been through; her only desire was to go to Eric and talk. She wanted to apologize for her behaviour but also to talk about what the witch had said. She knew Eric would not be happy because she had disobeyed his request to wait for him but at the same time, a part of her didn't feel as though he should be giving her orders.

She started walking away without another word wanting to go the vampires hiding spot.

''That's not fair'' growled Alcide in her direction. ''I am trying to protect this community" he added but Sookie was already gone. She knew Alcide worried about her but she had no desire to have a talk with him at the moment and just wanted to talk to Eric.

About half way to the spot, Pam landed besides her making Sookie stop walking.

"We need to talk'' is all Pam said already heading to the main street. "In private" she added.

Without a word, they both walked to her apartment.Once inside, Pam closed the door behind her.

"What happened?" she right away inquired as Sookie sat on the bed and Pam took a position leaning on the dresser.

"What do you mean?" Sookie replied not too sure what she was referring to.

"Judging by the fear you felt, you disobeyed my master and went to see the witch. So I asked again, what happened?"

"How would you know that" Sookie enquired having no intentions in responding to her.

Pam sighed heavily

"You can be so stubborn and stupid sometimes"

Sookie frowned and proceeded to add something but was cut off by Pam.

"My maker can feel your emotions Sookie. That's what being bonded means. He felt your fear but the sun was up so he couldn't do anything about it. Do you know what it means to feel powerless?"

Sookie rolled her eyes and said "Well it's not like vampires have any feelings anyways"

Pam growled and looked annoyed. Sookie proceeded to stay silent. Godric had explained to her they had feelings but they just managed them differently but she wasn't sure what exactly that meant.

"You know nothing about our kind, Sookie. Judging by your impulsions and your hurtful words, you don't really care about it either"

Sookie was confused and wasn't sure what exactly Pam meant by it.

"What Eric did to save your life is a tremendous sacrifice. Not only he has to share his feelings with a human but on top of that, she's a stubborn and ungrateful one" she hissed at Sookie's confusion. "Now tell me what happened with the witch"

Sookie was shocked by Pam's words. It was difficult for her to understand what exactly it meant for a vampire to ''bond'' since she knew very little about them. They were very private creatures. Her words made her feel guilty. She knew she had not been very nice to Eric and she already felt ashamed of her words. Eric didn't force her in drinking for a third time. She had chosen to take the blood in an effort to survive her wounds. At the moment she felt as if she had been very unfair to him and ache to be with him to make amends.

"She thinks my gran is dead" Sookie whispered.

"Surely that's not what started the fear he felt"

"No, you are right. The witch was talking about who I was but we were interrupted by the corpses. A mass of them, of the running kind" she added.

Pam got up looking annoyed.

"You should have waited for Eric to rise before going. Stop being so selfish would you?" Pam snickered while Sookie looked away.

"I get it Pam, you can stop with the remorse now, I already feel like shit. Where is Eric?" Sookie enquired.

"He is with his maker. I have no idea where he is and I have no idea when he will be back but I will surely let him know you feel like shit"

Pam walked out slamming the door behind her. Sookie had never seen her that way. She was always so emotionless, always so sarcastic. She had appeared concern but also angry with Sookie and all because of her maker. Sookie guessed vampires and their makers was a relationship a lot more complicated than she thought.

She decided it was time for her to catch up on more sleep. Sure she had spent half the day sleeping but she had so many sleepless nights in the past few days, she felt as if she needed more sleep. She also needed some time to think, away from people and vampires. Away from all the questioning and the concern but also time to think through what could have happened to her gran and whether or not she was dead.

TBC