Disclaimer: All of the Sons of Anarchy characters belong to Kurt Sutter.

- Believe in Me by Lenny Kravitz -

Countless sleepless nights, never ending fights
I'm trying to make your dreams come true
I will sacrifice to find paradise
But I need to know that you're behind me

- I Love You More Than You'll Ever Know by Marc Broussard -

I'm only flesh and blood
But I can be anything that you demand
I could be King of everything
Or just a tiny grain of sand

Who will tell me is that any way for a man to carry on?
Do you think I want my loved one gone?
I love you, more than you'll ever know
Said, "I love you, I love you, I love you, hey hey don't want nobody else"

The true outlaw finds the balance between the passion in his heart and the reason in his mind. The solution is always an equal mix of might and right ...

Chicago - Colombo Family (Part 2)

Day 1 - late evening

Happy is sitting upright in the bed waiting for his companion, who happens to be a dead ringer for Paula Patton, to come out of the bathroom. He had just placed his iPod in the dock and had his fuckin' favs in queue on repeat: candy shop, birthday cake, ride, my chick bad, hit me off, knockin' da boots, red light special, I want to sex you up, motivation, this woman's work, and the top fuck song in history, living for the love of you. Hey, Hey. Happy also had some grinding reggae stuff in another folder, just as a backup, for the daylight, if necessary. He planned to ride this gorgeous chick long and hard.

He picks up the note handed to him at dinner and rereads it again -

Happy,

Hope you enjoy the amenities! I handpicked Jenny myself for your pleasure. She's yours until you say next, or enough! I sincerely hope she exceeds your expectations. She will provide any and all services you require, your wish is her command; she definitely knows how to please. Why not tell her to surprise you? She will! She knows the family so if you want to bring her to the celebration tomorrow feel free. She also knows the area quite well, there are bikes or cars available if you guys want to ride/tour.

This suite is at your disposal (bachelor pad-wink) until we depart for Boston. You can have her, or a different model, hang out -or not- for the duration...it's on you. There is a binder in the desk that offers pics and bios on others available. I requested the ten preferred girls who have special talents. :-)

The guest house is your main quarters for the trip. When you want to return to the guest house press the button on the phone marked guest, it will ring the assistant, Amina, she will have a utility vehicle brought round for you to use to get to the guest house or if you just want to ramble around the property. She will also hook you up with anything else you want, don't be shy. Her direct dial and cell numbers are also near the phone and in the binder.

I can be reached by phone or text. Also, if you can allow me about twenty-thirty minutes tomorrow, I need to talk to you privately? We can excuse ourselves sometimes early afternoon after lunch or before dinner and take a leisurely stroll.

Just a Thank You for all you do!

Tara

Happy smiles and thinks to himself, 'I definitely appreciate the new Queen, the woman is fucking amazing!' He stands and walks over to the desk chair where his cut is resting, tucks the letter back inside the pocket. Lights a cigarette, picks up his drink and returns to his place on the bed. At the same moment the bathroom door opens, he looks over, and thinks 'Well God damn, really, really appreciate the Queen!' Miss pretty fucking Jenny is decked out in a black leather corset, matching leather panties, fishnet stockings and over the knee high heel boots. Her long, large curled. bedroom hair is so damn sexy and those smoky eyes...Happy pats the bed and says in his low dark voice..."c'mere gorgeous!"

Day 1 late evening - Day 2 early morning

Jax and Tara return to the guest house. Maureen left a note on the table in the foyer, "sleep in, pick up the boys late morning or early afternoon, your choice. They are fine. We had a nice night."

Jax came up behind Tara and wrapped his arms around her waist, reading the note over her shoulder. "Let's go to the kitchen, grab some food, liquor and talk."

Tara nodded and replied, "okay, I'm ready but let me give you a quick tour so you know where everything is located?" While walking Tara continues, "we have a lot of material to cover over the next few days. The most important of which, I hope will be between us tonight through tomorrow morning. I'm assuming the way we both think and process information, combined with the love and trust we already have for the people most important to my draft plan, tonight and tomorrow morning should be enough time for us to cover the basics and lay out the foundation. I would hope to have an agreed upon plan of action before we return to the formal meeting tomorrow. There are also a few details about our immediate family I have not yet disclosed. I held off until this specific discussion. Just know, we hold the keys to the kingdom, baby. Shit, in all honesty, with all we need accomplish, I just hope we also get to share some intimacy while we are here. Sex in jacuzzis is a weakness; you know, the bubbles in certain sensitive areas, just kill me. Boston will be mostly about strategy and sharing their business specialty; kill squads, security, training and weapons."

Once they finished the tour and Tara turned on the equipment in the conference room so it would be ready for them later and they went back to the kitchen. Tara started the coffee pot, took their dinner plates out of the frig and set the first in the microwave. She then set the salad bowls and bread on the table. While waiting in front of the micro, Tara asked, "Jax do you want a beer or something stronger with dinner?" Jax replied, "beer is fine babe." She took two bottles out of the frig and placed them on the table. Jax filled their water glasses, reached for the bread and sat down. When the plates were warmed, Tara brought them both to the table. She sat down, they looked at each other, while taking the first few forkfuls. Silently acknowledging needing a minute to gather their thoughts. After a few minutes pass, Jax looks up at Tara, almost pushing her to begin.

Tara nods, takes a sip of water and begins, "I put the coffee pot on because we will most likely pull an all-nighter. I know you have questions, we should definitely start there. I also have a few disclosures that need to be aired. Then we should move to the conference room, I have everything set up in there to go over strategy for the future of our family as well as detailed strategic objectives on extending our family. The plan is to team up with certain individuals to create a powerful inner circle, which if implemented correctly, solidifies the our families future plans. We can also quickly review the trusts, they are very standard."

Tara gets up from the table to open a bottle of Johnnie Walker, pours four shot glasses, sets two in front of Jax and takes two back to her seat. She takes a shot and continues, "Empire Building, the main topic of discussion at both family meetings, is what I was born into. All members of both my families were basically structured for the most part; marriages and partnerships arranged by design for a specific outcome. Of course, there have been exceptions to the rule, you and I for example, which makes it more difficult to get to the point where we are now. But not everyone wants or needs power; you and I, we do, it's who we are. "

Tara, "Uncle Robert and I have already discussed Ireland and the RIRA in detail. We have a very strong opportunity to move SAMCRO as well as the Teller family into a key position within the RIRA. Also, although a bit old school, what I will be demonstrating for our family is exactly the method used by both the Noland and Colombo families to build their empires. All cultures have the same methods for keeping the wealth in their own families and building further out. They are both going to pave the way for us. The Irish and the Italians both believe very strongly in family. My parents were favored children, so by default I am as well. Helps that I look just like my mother, Godfather's youngest daughter. They always thought once I got old enough, our family would return to the fold. Unfortunately with the death of my parents, they decided to step in, introduce, train me and wait. I had fallen in love with you which added yet another obstacle. But after returning, talking to you and hearing your commitment of where you wanted to move SAMCRO, I decided it best to stay close to my families for our shared benefit.

I worked with the information supplied by Uncle Robert to identify and confirm key SOA players and developed a strategic starting point for us. I think you are going to like the possibilities of our combined efforts; our business choices are incredible. It's going to move SAMCRO into the 21st century and someone like Pope will never be able to touch our family again. He controlled Oakland, and had pull in the surrounding areas. Our family, Teller & SAMCRO/SOA, will have sway both domestic and global. Combine the weight and control of the Colombo family with the Noland's, marry it to SAMCRO with the ability to tap into SOA as an army and we are talking influence such as the cartel, or the yakuza...you see where we are going with this? Wrap that around your head for a moment. Think about how much we are worth currently, what you have tucked away, you will see more tomorrow about my current holdings, combined with the kids trusts, and we are only just scratching the surface."

Tara pauses for reflection, takes two sips of her beer and waits for any questions and then continues, "As of tomorrow your children are multi-millionaires. You'll see my financial portfolio. There will be a contract to include clauses such as infidelity, divorce, etc that need to be disclosed and discussed before signing off on what would transfer to you and the kids upon my demise.

The plan that will be presented to you will begin the shift of the current structure and move SAMCRO into a true leadership position, not only figuratively but literally, through power and influence; you will be the true First King. Right now the titles President or King are figurative terms and only within a confined outlaw space. WE are going to remove the walls and venture out. This is combining the principles disclosed in your fathers manual, with your goals for SAMCRO as well as my plans for our family and implementing them to our advantage and gain. End game: Our children will be Magnates.

Let's jump into your questions and we'll will get through most of the initial work over the next," looking at her phone, "hopefully, 7-8 hours? If we need more time, I'll request tomorrow's meeting be moved to Wednesday."

Jax nodded and asked, "Talk to me about when you involved your family with what was going on with the club?"

Tara took another swallow of her beer and began, "actually, it was just after you all were arrested and went to prison. I had to let them know about Thomas, this is his destiny. After he was born they kept an eye on me from a distance. When I read those letters Maureen sent back with you from Ireland, I have to admit, I was really nervous. If I had told either one of my grandfathers, Gemma and Clay would have been taken out immediately as to not cause danger to us. Once I finally told them, they were not happy with me and I still have a gut feeling they know more about Clay and Gemma than what was disclosed. But at this point, the problems were eliminated so they no longer care. Anyway, I wanted to wait and talk to you in person after your release. Also, I know what it is to lose both parents, and wanted to give Gemma the benefit of the doubt. But after you came home from Stockton and talked about wanting to get out, and the reasons why, I decided it would be best to just wait. Everything you wanted, you would have had as soon as we left Charming. You would have been given full access and the support of both families. I couldn't tell you until then because you were considered for all intents and purposes an outsider. They did not trust you. Some of the things Clay did, you were his VP, looking from the outside I wouldn't trust you either.

So they only watched, at first. Once the park incident happened, where I was almost taken, it took everything I had to keep them from swooping in, taking out people - including you - and the kids and I disappearing. My professed love for you and your admission to wanting out, the reason we were going to Oregon, along with knowing you were there and saved me and the kids that day, Godfather realized you were not the issue. Again, it was almost a day to day fight once I was released from the hospital. To be completely forthcoming, I even had a few visits at the hospital you guys did not know about. With the prospect standing at the door, certain individuals dressed as medical professionals walked right through the door. That's why I kept confronting you, ad nauseum, on your plans to leave.

Once the RICO case was revealed it again tied their hands. Through all of this, I made the conscious decision to hold our family together. The children needed both of us, although there were times that I almost gave up; I believed in you, I believed in what you wanted to do. I had their ear while working through what was needed to quash the RICO case. At the same time they decided we would work on the plan to reward the dedication and commitment of both you and your loyal brothers. Once the RICO case was eliminated.

But they quickly found out about SAMCRO's relationship with the cartel. That was not good. The Colombo's and the Noland's do not work with or trust Mexican cartels. They still watched from a distance, and were so pleased when you finally cut ties, and at the same time were in position to handle Galen. Uncle Robert always knew Galen would be a problem for you. The beauty is Galen had no idea of the connection. Also, remember, you were keeping things from me after you became President so I was unable to support you as much as I would have liked; hindsight 20/20. While at the same time you more than proved yourself as a strong leader. You are now being rewarded for your loyalty and entrusted with many opportunities."

Jax knocked back his second shot, followed by a generous few swallows of beer and asked, "What the hell, why did you think it was your decision to take out Gemma yourself without talking to me first? She has done a lot of shit, I know she was involved with my Dad's murder, I know she had full disclosure in all Clay did but she was still my Mother? In all honesty, it's still kinda hard for me to stomach and accept you taking her out the way you did?"

Tara nodded, and stated simply, "I didn't trust you to handle it, or what you would have done to me if you knew, I was planning to." She got up to get the whiskey bottle off the counter and brought it back to the table and refilled their shot glasses. "At first it seemed you were with me in keeping the boys away from Gemma but then you softened. I knew what Gemma was capable of and told you as much, granted I did not tell you everything I'm prepared to tell you now, but you knew the worst of it and she almost killed our kids. You saw the majority of those letters, knew she spinned the story to her favor and still you softened and asked me to let her stay with the boys. Do you realize Gemma almost killed them?"

Tara, "Even now, knowing there may be a strong possibility that you and Gemma conspired to have me arrested for this murder to take the boys away from me, seeing them as the future of SAMCRO, while getting me out of the way. I'm not going to lie to you, it's a very real thought in my head Jax. After what you just did to Wendy, good bad or indifferent. Because truthfully I really didn't care; it was the fact that you LIED to me when I asked you about it, which doesn't leave me much room for trust."

That said, allowing that you may very well be partly responsible, I would have and in my own mind have already forgiven the thought; true or not. There is a song I have used as my theme for the past years, 'living dead girl.' So many things have happened, Gemma had threatened many times over before I left Charming 13 years ago, and an even greater threat since my return these past three years. I'm going to detail certain situations in just a moment. The reason I feel you may have known or been party to it, is you said you had a plan, had me agree to said plan, by offering Gemma the key back to our house AND the sons she almost murdered two days prior. Then mysteriously when all is said and done, Wendy gets shot up with dope and I am off to prison. Just too damn convenient."

Tara continues in a low tone, the pain all over her face, "something I didn't want to mention until all this had come out in the open. After that accident and the surgery to correct Abel's erratic heartbeat, knowing his heart was already weak from birth, the most recent tests show Abel's heart is even more fragile now than before. He will be susceptible to early heart failure, and too much continued stress or pressure on the muscle can damage him even more, fatally. It's still very hard for me, his mother, to fathom. I made an appointment for us to discuss the test results with his doctor in detail, when we get back. By what I've already seen, he will be referred to a heart specialist or team with greater experience; most likely in a large city.

The fact that Abel's heart is now more weak than before, I place the full blame on Gemma, knowingly driving under the influence. That was the final nail in her coffin. Just think, it could have been even worse, Thomas could have been also greatly damaged or both of them killed on impact. Remember Jax, this is not the first time she has endangered our kids. She then lied to our faces about her responsibility. Bitch didn't deserve to live, didn't deserve to talk to, or touch those boys ever again. I'm sorry, don't really give a shit that she's the woman who birthed you. The truth, she didn't give a shit about your father, you, or your children. She may have lost the last ounce of humanity with Trinity in Ireland. She was just completely gone after that. It could have been Trinity or it could have been the letters that sent her completely over the edge. We'll never know and don't really care."

Tara, "full disclosure, I know about you and Trinity in Ireland. Gemma told me about the incident just after you took the presidents chair. It only served to confirm, yet again, she was on a mission to destroy us and our family. I decided to call Ireland and spoke directly to Maureen and Trinity about the incident. That's actually what saved us and was the catalyst to my forming the relationship with them that we now have. Gemma knowing she was no longer the queen and how invested she was in that role, which was exactly the same as Clay was in his, I honestly did not know what would be her limit. I had to immediately pull the boys away from her. I did not want to find out later she started hurting, poisoning or doing who knows what to our kids or us. Just look at the outcome when I let you talk me down."

Tara continued, "moving along, not only was Gemma the mastermind behind your father's death, she also knew Clay put out a hit on me that very morning. She knew his intentions, knew he took the money from the safe. Do you remember she came by the house asking us where we were all going, who was going with us? She knew the boys were going and still said nothing. The truth of the matter is she helped orchestrate, if only by association, the hit on my life. If not for the cartel being influenced by the CIA, I could have been dead right now and possibly our kids had you not been there. Unser will confirm what I'm saying."

Tara continues, "next, Gemma saw Piney with a whole in his chest, and again knew Clay was responsible. As you well know, she called Unser up to the cabin and tried to cover it up. She looked directly in your face and in Opie's and lied about Piney. Who does that? He was the founding member along with your father. She also hated Piney because he knew of the letters and so she really didn't care what happened to him as long as her secret was safe.

Gemma talked to Wendy at our house without either one of our permissions. Remember, it was the day she showed up at the hospital when I slammed and damaged my hand and was put under psych watch. Chucky will confirm Gemma called Wendy to the house. She told Wendy she would help her to spend time with Abel. Then in the hospital room when you confronted her, she told you what you should be doing with SAMCRO, and that she would handle Wendy. I mean, who the hell did she think she was? And still seeing us on multiple occasions that day never confessed why Clay actually beat her, that it was over the letters. She kept it a secret because she didn't want her involvement to come out. Do see what I'm saying here? She was willing and did sacrifice anyone in her way, so she would remain Queen."

Tara, "still manipulating you, Gemma spun the story of the letters to her advantage and sent you after Clay not giving a shit about the consequences or our desire to leave with our boys. I still find it hard to believe you accepted her version of events, but then it doesn't matter anymore. When I gave you the weapon to take out Clay without any backlash so we could leave is when she turned on me completely. Again trying to use the children and the club to manipulate you against me.

I already told you, while you were all in county on Pope's trumped up charges, Gemma went and got Wendy and gave her false information for her to take custody of Abel from us both. I was allegedly an opioid abuser, you a previously convicted felon currently charged with murder. That I got out of Wendy. She's really not that smart and everything she thinks is easily readable on her face. Gemma then threatened me again that day with the kids. She wanted me out of the way so she could raise them her way, which we both know was going to happen over my dead body. I warned her what would happen if she ever tried to hurt me or my family again. Unfortunately she didn't take me seriously."

Tara states, "and regarding the incident with Carla, Gemma started the fight in the garage, she out and out punched Carla first. It was over her jealousy with Nero. It really didn't have anything to do with your being chased by the Biz-lats and taking that spill. She only brought up Carla when I confronted her in the office. She had Wendy here again, that morning. Wendy is the one who bailed her out of jail. She was planning, yet again, to use Wendy to drive a wedge between us and our kids.

Carla, in self defense, slammed Gemma on the car and was getting ready to choke her out. Actually, initially I thought good riddance; but then thought about for better or worse she is your mother and my sons grandmother...if anyone was going to kill her it was going to be you or me. Even after all she had done, I couldn't explain to you my standing there watching while some outsider took her out. Not after your just witnessing Opie's murder and currently attending his wake. I wanted your mother dead, not you destroyed. If my love and commitment to you were not as strong, it would have been a different end result. You now know I have my own psychopathic tendencies. Full disclosure, if not for Opie, I would have asked Carla to give me a few minutes, helped her secure Gemma, run in for popcorn, beer and a bottle of whiskey. Come back with my goodies, removed Gemma's restraints, nodded to Carla and watched the show.

By the way, if you give a shit, a bit of information you may want to ask Nero about later. Carla was his half sister. She was also in love with him and at one time a member of his gang. She was actually diagnosed with psychotic issues and has been on meds for years. Her last scrip refill was never picked up, seems she's disappeared. In our world, I think we know what that means. Folks have a way of going half way round the world only to find themselves in a shallow grave. She has most definitely been put down."

Tara affirms, "I understand you were busy with the club, but I tried to tell you, well did tell you most of what was going on and still after her car was lifted by that grifter, you wanted her to keep our boys. What did she do? Got high and almost ran head on into a semi. Drove last minute off the road and almost killed our children. When you questioned Gemma at hospital what did she do? Lied again and said it was black, the same guys who were after you the night before. Lied blatantly to both our faces, again. And what shocked me even more, it was Nero, her new boyfriend who told you the truth. Have you ever asked yourself how she can tell a basic stranger the most important family information then lie to her own son?

Just to get out all the history, it was actually Gemma who provided that overdose to Wendy in the hospital three years ago. I do believe Wendy only wanted you and Abel was the tool she was using to try and win you back. That said, it still shows what Gemma was capable of doing. She tried to remove both me and Wendy from your life at the same time. Do I forgive or even understand what Wendy did, No and never will; but she was also used and corrupted by your mother. She always played the same games of manipulation with me and threatened me on many occasions. It worked when I was a child, but once I met my family, completely different picture. I chose to stay quiet as it related to her. Genuinely felt sorry for her when she was gang raped. But again, sat back and watched how she ended up using that information only to her benefit. If you had never chosen to go Nomad, that would have also remained a secret, didn't matter the dangers to other members by the hand of Zoebelle and Weston. Just what was good for Gemma.

I will use carrying and giving birth to Thomas as an example because the experience opened me up to so many alternate points of view. I would do anything, anything to protect my sons. But I would not kill him or see him hurt to justify my life or lifestyle. My last disclosure to you, I for a moment, contemplated aborting Thomas, afraid to bring another child into this family. Not to confuse this with the criminal lifestyle because as you now know, he has it coming from 3/4's of his bloodline. But the sick way you were brought up by Gemma, I could not let happen to my boys. She was definitely a raging sociopath and totally sick human being. You, in my opinion, are a cusp between a sociopath and psychopath to which I cannot fully complain. I am a fully fledged psychopath and accept it. It's the disconnect from all of society by any means necessary that is so dangerous to Gemma and Clay's version of SOA. It's really hard being your woman as it is Jax, all the responsibility logged on your shoulders every day. Sometimes living so outside society is more difficult than living within as you will soon begin to realize. We have the power and tools to use those rules and regulations they killed to avoid, for our benefit and growth."

Tara then discloses, " Jax, you tend to internalize your rage and then project it onto those closest to you. I can't fully blame you for this, you were raised and trained by a sociopath but you take it out on your woman and your mother only goaded you along. You may have tried to push back but eventually you seemed to end up doing exactly what she wanted you to do; another sick reality to your family unit. Again, this is all you knew but when I came back and you saw we had an out, you still pushed back if only subconsciously which told me you never really wanted to leave. I can handle loads of your bullshit, but to heap the same shit on our kids, no, won't do it. You, me and our kids will be even more lethal because we will live in both world's comfortably.

As you now know, I am also created from two families that kill. I admittedly have the same tendencies as you, but I am comfortable in both worlds. Which is what I want for our kids, what I want for you. We are now in the 21st century and cannot continue to live as if it's the 60s-early 70s. Your mother, stepfather and certain charters of the club are stuck in the past using manipulation, fear, threats to push away or kill anyone who tries to change the old way of thinking and living. I could not let her or the club hurt my sons the way she hurt you. There is a secret surrounding your brother Thomas that has not come out yet. Someone close to me overheard Unser arguing with Gemma at the hospital about it and told me because they thought they were talking about our boy. I got the feeling they share a little more than just the truth about John's death.

Anyway, that's why I eliminated Gemma without your knowledge."

Jax then asks, "What was with those documents from Lowen? After all this it's obvious you didn't plan on leaving."

"Certain pieces like the house and other legal docs she prepared for us were requested by me directly so she had no clue how they would be used. That was to legally cover my bases for the Toric investigation. I was not leaving you. Godfather's legal team told me exactly what to do and I requested it word for word from Lowen. That's how crafty they are.

The letters she brought over for you to read the night I was arrested was just to make sure you were fully briefed on the seriousness of what we were dealing with. So you would let the boys go with the social services team; which you soon found out was actually their protection detail. We honestly did not know what Gemma and or Toric were up to.

Their lawyers also had a few conversations with Ally to also walk her through what she needed to do to complete the full plan; both she and her husband. They never knew the reasons, just followed the script and showed up when needed.

I will confess, they were waiting to see if Lowen would tell you about those legal documents before I presented them to you. Just to see if she could be trusted with confidentiality with separate individuals within SAMCRO, specifically in this instance it was member vs. spouse; she passed.

Overall, everyone was given plenty of room to hang themselves. Some remained loyal others did not. Did you know that Gemma got the documents that were in the safe from Clay and gave them to Eli? Was that part of your plan?"

Jax, surprised by this, replied "I asked her to try to get a hold of those documents, she did not tell me he gave them to her. With everything else you've said, not shocked. Just unbelievable how devious she really was."

Tara, "I wouldn't have expected her to. She used them along with the knowledge of the cross to make a statement against both me and Clay. What she did not realize was she only implicated herself. I had already admitted to giving Otto the cross, my statement was on record. What no one knew is when I asked her to deliver it to me, I made sure I met her at a building that had security cameras taping and my ID was in full view on my coat. If there is one thing about Gemma, she is predictable."

Tara continues, "that's why only the informational warrant was issued for my arrest, because I was prepared they had nothing to hold me on. I had already confessed to having the cross and I had no idea what Otto's plans were. The prison had Clay on record meeting with Otto two days prior. All told, it looks as if it was a combined effort between Clay, Gemma and Otto. Otto is now going to confess as much. This is the reason Gemma would have ran, to avoid murder charges. Clay will be dead shortly by Pope's insurance team, Gemma is dead already, and proof will be provided within the next two-three weeks. The Marshall's will track her down hiding in Chicago. She will be killed attempting to flee, taken to the morgue and disposed of prematurely. Accidents happen all the time in processing bodies in a busy city morgue. Her death certificate, along with the ashes Skeeter provided, will be issued and sent immediately to her lawyer of record, Lowen. The business and clubhouse ownership were already transferred to you the same day I was arrested. Clay's accounts have also already been cleaned out. He thought he had the perfect hiding place. Seems he did not. All his hidden funds, although not much, is waiting for you at our safe house. The end to this tale was a full and complete joint effort. There were eyes on Clay and your mother they never suspected so did not see."

Tara gets up to get a cup of coffee and asks, "Does that answer all your questions?"

Jax replied, "more than answers, you were thorough in covering every issue I could have possibly imagined or thought of asking and all detailed; it's appreciated, thank you." She only nodded in response, she wanted to allow him the floor.

Jax continued, "Tara you must believe me, I had nothing to do with any statement that would have gotten you brought in for that murder. I was as surprised as you were. I was still ready to argue the legal documents when Eli interrupted us."

Tara holds up the coffee pot silently asking if he wants a cup.

Jax nods, "sure, I'll take a cup. About Gemma, Jesus Christ. That's all I'm going to say about that right now. I have to still digest it all. Unser, I'll think about how best to approach him before we get back. I did want to talk to him about my Dad's murder anyhow. Unser has been a huge help in getting Eli to work with SAMCRO. That and working with us to identify Clay's involvement, along with the Nomads, as the guilty party responsible for the death of Roosevelt's' wife and baby, break-ins and assaults."

Tara places Jax's coffee in front of him. He is looking off into space and shakes his head, in a total state of disbelief.

Jax, after taking another shot of whiskey. "Tara, I'm so sorry about the Trinity fuck up. I was just not in my right mind. God. I so wish you would have gone to Ireland with me. So much death, I hated myself, hated my life, and our life together by default. Like you said, it all just ends up bleeding on those closest to me. I honestly wanted you as far away from me as possible. Full disclosure, if not for news of your pregnancy, or your kidnapping I'm really not sure if I would have sought you out when I returned. It was just that bad in my head at the time, I was so fucked up and I knew we were going to prison within days. Another bit of information I never told you, I thought about leaving Abel with that couple that wanted to adopt him, the Petrie's. If not for Gemma telling me you were pregnant and at the same time finding out Jimmy was going for Abel, I may truly have just left him in Ireland. And then the news of your kidnapping, all these horrible acts against my family made me see, my sacrificing you for what I believed was the greater good, actually put you all in more danger.

All I can say about not telling you everything after taking the chair, it was just from the time those warrants for me and the boys were issued to present, there was so much going on that I could barely keep it all straight in my own head. What was a lie and what was the truth began to bleed into each other. It was exactly as my father stated in his manual. That's how I ended up telling you the lie about Wendy. If I believed the lie myself it made it real. That's what got me to the mind frame to be able to commit the act. It's how my mind has had to function to get through this dark time. It will most likely remain the same for awhile, possibly even get worse as we work to restructure SOA; but now that we are both on the same page, we can work as a team. More importantly, I now know you are willing and can get your hands as dirty as me. You have no idea what that means to me, the relief. Having you all the way in this with me, mentally and physically, I have no words."

Jax, still shaking his head, "and Abel, that I can't discuss just yet. I have to let that sit for a moment before I will comment, but yeah, for that as well as everything else you've listed, if I were in your shoes, I would have executed her in the exact same manner, mother or not. She deserved it, much, much earlier." Tara only nods along as she listens and acknowledges his feelings with the silent agreement.

Tara then states, "okay, just a few more important items I need to reveal and or request.

First, Nero Padilla. It was a good plan for you to have his business raided to force his hand. Made great business sense, I like the idea much more than CaraCara. Also you calling him out and him wanting to team back up with you, I have a feeling it had nothing to do with Gemma, it was more about getting to you. And, you strategically planting him in the clubhouse, to listen in to your conversation, knowing he might offer up funding, was just awesome! Reeled the big whale right on in. Nero wanting guns as a temporary payoff also great deal. Now, time to change the relationship back to our favor. Let's pay him back as soon as we get home. He now owes you for those weapons and I'm sure he'll make good on it immediately.

With both interests shored up and back to normal; mutual respect and along with Gemma disappearing, I wonder if you could push him to bring Maureen aboard as the SOA representative? I want her to learn the business and take Carla's place as his bottom bitch. You might use the justification that we plan to move two of our SOA Nevada shops to the east coast soon, and Maureen will be heading them so she needs to learn as much as possible over the next year or two. Once Maureen is up and running, if she falls for him leave him be; if not, he gets pushed out. Let him retire by money or a grave, doesn't matter to me. We can no longer afford to do business, especially that close to home, with outsiders. Either he is family or not.

Lyla is not smart enough and in my opinion, cannot be trusted for a deal this big. Let her bring Maureen up to date on the CaraCara talent, then move her back into the porn side. We could even send her to Vegas. Some things happened with Lyla before you guys went to Ireland. Also, I have not seen one point of strength in her relationship with Opie. She doesn't want Opie's kids. She came to me just after his wake and asked me for help. She feels like you dumped them on her. I told her 'not to worry, give me a few weeks to a month and I would rectify the problem for her.' She quickly thanked me and basically ran from the house. I purposely used the word problem because I wanted to see if that was really how she felt. She didn't disappoint. The bitch; but then again, really can't blame her. She never knew Donna, and didn't even know Opie; why would we think she would care about their kids? I will circle back around to his in a bit."

Jax winks in response. "And the next?"

Tara, grins and states, "Two words, Jacob Hale." Now with a very deadly laugh, "Pope's team financing Charming Heights, that deal is getting ready to fall through. Hale will be brought up on criminal charges at our discretion and August Marks, Pope's replacement, will be quietly eliminated.

The Charming Heights committee will be looking for immediate help and we will step in; now that we have access to unlimited funds to secure the deal. We can keep Hale on initially as the face just so things go through easily and then publically out him once the deal closes. Or not, if you want to continue using him, that's on you after you hear what he's been up to. By the way, this isn't just about us owning the majority share and controlling this real estate deal, but we will legally own or control most of Charming and a good bit of its surrounding areas by the time our kids are sitting in our seats. That's one of my objectives. As well as seating people strategically in banking, business and local government, both city and county, positions."

Jax asks, "Hale? How?"

Tara smiles, "remember our friends Salazar and Luisa? While I was waiting with the glass shard to slit her throat in that bathroom, I heard her get a call. It was obvious from her end of the conversation it was Salazar and I knew he was on the way. As soon as she opened the door I cut through probably 1/3 of her neck with the glass, her gun and phone immediately dropped to the floor. After I pushed her body into the tub to bleed out, I looked at the injury and knew she was done. I grabbed the gun and went to quickly release Margaret. Once we were heading back down the stairs from the attic I remembered the phone sliding across the floor. I quickly ran back to the bathroom, picked up the phone and stored it in my boot. By the time we reached the stairs Salazar had walked in the front door."

Tara, "you know the rest, my trade with Salazar to help Luisa if he released Margaret. It still pissed me off that I did not shoot him in the back of the head when he was leaning over the bathtub looking at Luisa. While I had never shot someone in the back, knowing Margaret was standing right behind me, it would have made a self defense story null and void. If he would have only turned his head and lunged at us, totally different outcome.

Anyway, once we were at the hospital, when I went in the locker room to clean up before the ultrasound, I tucked the phone away in my locker to look at it later. With Abel's return, locating Jimmy and you guys getting locked up the next day, I didn't check the phone again until just after I read the letters. I couldn't believe it when I heard the audio file, it was Hale admitting to hiring Salazar to get rid of Lumpy. Luisa also admitted in the attic they blackmailed Hale with the audio confession for information about me. Remember the broken back door at our house? It was them trying to find me to lure you in. Salazar was going to kill us both and Hale told him where I worked. I have the audio file in there on my computer for you to listen to. Hale is a convicted felon when that evidence is brought forth."

Tara with a look of innocence shrugs and states, "How convenient we happen to know a few Marshalls who are planning a raid on one of Salazar's brothers. That raid will happen at his Aunt's house and they will find the stashed phone in a box with stacks of money and a gun that has a few bodies on it." While finishing that last sentence Tara looks up and meets Jax's gaze, her eyes he could see clearly, were Pure Evil.

He thinks to himself, 'Shit, this woman is so much more than I could ever have imagined.' But he replies, "Tara you held this back all this time?"

She only tilted her head, smiled slightly and replied "Yes, for leverage. I knew there would come a time we would have this conversation. Granted some of the players have changed, but, it was just one more item added to that safety deposit box towards our future. I'm in this for the long haul, isn't that what the crow tatt implies?"

Jax, just nodded his head in the affirmative, in awe of his woman and thinks 'Jesus, and I thought I was the smart one' and starts to chuckle to himself.

Tara takes a deep breath, "My last item for discussion before going into the SOA/Teller future, I have a request, something I truly want to do and hope you will support me and feel the same...I want us to adopt Ellie and Kenny. Mainly because we love them and they love us, but we also loved and grew up with their parents. You can genuinely tell them all there is to know about their father and grandfather; I can share with them everything I knew about Donna. We will have enough house to fit all, have the needed help, and more than afford them. Jax, I'm sure I don't need to, but I'm begging you for this. They need us and after what Opie and Piney gave to you and the club, we owe both Opie and Donna, to give their kids a good life full of love. Who else would treat them as their own?

We could even take them now, with your approval. For our own security, the safe house we departed from is ours until our new house is ready. We needed a space large enough to house both our family and our security detail. That house is owned by the Noland's. The basement has additional bedrooms, a fully functional security center and there are two panic rooms as well as a secret private exit. There is more than enough room for Kenny and Ellie."

Jax replied, "Oh My God. Definitely, of course Tara! Let's talk to Rosen as soon as we get home and get the paperwork started. Damn, you could not have made me happier. You know how I feel about those kids. I agree when I spoke to Lyla about keeping them, she almost bawled. With all we were going through at the time, present dangers, I didn't want to come to you with it. Possibly also endangering them for just being with us. We are in a different place now, I would love having them with us!"

Tara let out a deep breath, "Thank You, Jax! This issue, more than anything else, has really been weighing on me. I'm done with personal disclosures, if you are done with your questions, let's move into the conference room so I can present my draft plan for our future. It's not about just SOA anymore!"

to be continued

AN: Hope you enjoyed Tara finally getting it all out on the table. Mrs. Teller, the brains, Mother & Queen, coming up next -

Next chapter Tara will list all the people in her proposed new family formation. Think of the Borromean rings, three rings that are linked and soldered together, and support and sustain each other through strength and unity.

Inner Core/First Ring: Teller.
Middle Core/Second Ring: Noland, Colombo.
Outer Core/Third Ring: Lowman, Kozik, Quinn, Telford, Ashby.

Before the next chapter (6) posts. Take a look at photo album, link provided on my profile page. It will have the links to seven albums which references all characters in my story including the future children (Teller, Telford, Lowman, Quinn, Kozik, Winston). The last album is the couples of SAMCRO/SOA which detail the future (GenZ) couples of SAMCRO. I will remind you again on the opening notes for the next chapter.