Life is For Living
Chapter 2
4 years later
Santana sighs as she sinks back into her living room couch. She looks around, bored, trying to find something to entertain her. She doesn't have to be at work for another 4 hours and it's storming outside so she's not really feeling surfing at the moment. She probably won't even end up going to work tonight though either. Even though it'll give her something to do. She sort of has plans later in the night anyway. It just can't come fast enough. It's days like these when she's happy she's her own boss. In all honesty, all she wants to do is curl up with her wife on this couch and drink hot chocolate. Brittany makes the best hot chocolate. She has a secret recipe that she won't even tell Santana. Though, Santana's knows she just adds cinnamon. It's really not that big of a secret, but Santana continues to act like she's clueless. It makes Brittany happy, thinking she has this awesome secret recipe that nobody knows. And Santana lives to make Brittany happy.
The next thing Santana knows, her cell phone is ringing, drawing her attention over to it and out of her thoughts about Brittany. And her hot chocolate. She picks it up off of the coffee table and sees that Quinn is calling her. She debates, briefly about answering it, because she doesn't really feel like talking to anyone right now. She just wants to wallow in her own self pity. But she decides to answer it, anyway. If she doesn't Quinn will just show up to check on her. And she'd much rather just talk to her quickly on the phone then have to deal with her in person and for possibly a long time, if she came over. "Yo," she answer simply, letting her head fall back against the couch.
"Are you going crazy yet?" Quinn asks knowingly.
Santana rolls her eyes, but sighs as she picks at the hem of her T-shirt. Actually it's Brittany's T-shirt. One of her Army ones. Santana loves wearing her Army shirts. Really, she loves wearing any of her clothes. It's pretty much all she ever wears when Brittany is away. And even when Brittany is here, to be honest. They always smell like her and it makes her feel good. "I'm just bored…" she finally mumbles.
Quinn chuckles on the other end of the phone. "She's been gone a day," the blonde says, amused. "You'd think you would be used to her leaving for months at a time, by now." Quinn says matter of fact. Brittany has continued her career in the Army, even after her first term was up. And has been called to duty, multiple times since they've been together. Santana hates it, but she knows Brittany enjoys what she does and she definitely can't stop her or even ask her to quit something she loves. She's also really proud of what her wife has done.
"That's not something I'll ever get used to. Or like," She replies with a grumble.
"She turned you into such a softie. It's cute. Though I could do without the pouting and the mood swings when she's not around. You know, you could actually be nice to someone other than her. Or us, just when she gets on to you." Quinn says playfully, making Santana huff and fold her arms over her chest.
"Whatever," she mumbles, not really having a response. It's true, when Brittany isn't around she turns into a pouty, miserable person. Brittany had changed her so much over the past years. She's made her a better person all around. Santana was never truly happy until she met Brittany. She started smiling more and she even started being decent to other people around her, and sometimes not just because Brittany told her to be. She was even nicer to Rachel. Though, when she's not around, it's almost as if Santana goes back to the person she used to be, if not worse. Though, nobody really takes her seriously anymore, because they know what a softie she actually is now.
"So are you going to get out of the house anytime soon? Or do we need to come and drag you out?" She asks with a smirk. "I may not live with you anymore, but you're only down the street." She adds, raising a brow, though Santana can't see her. She can picture it though.
Santana huffs again and sits up on the couch. She reaches for a lighter that is sitting on the coffee table and starts flicking it, absentmindedly. "Puck is coming over later and we're going out," she informs her. She reaches for the candle sitting on the table and lights it, enjoying the smell. She'd never really been one for candles, but Brittany loves them. At the beginning of their relationship, when Brittany would stay with them, she'd fill the house and especially Santana's room with candles. Santana put up a small fight, but she obviously caved. And now she's gotten used to them. She actually even enjoys them.
"Oh, great," Quinn sighs, rolling her eyes. Though it's mostly playful. Even though they got off to a rough start, surprisingly, Puck and Santana became best friends. They soon realized that they're pretty much exactly alike. And though they bicker with each other a lot, they still love and respect each other. They're also there for each other when they need someone to talk to. And it's nice to have someone who understands you and who won't try and push you too hard to talk about feelings and emotions. It's good to just have someone to take you out drinking and listen to your drunk babbling without judgement. "Stay out of trouble." Quinn adds, knowing the two tend to get into trouble a lot when they're together. She's witnessed, Brittany sitting them both down on the couch and lecturing them, multiple times. Just like they're children. They also start blaming each other and arguing like two siblings. It's pretty entertaining to watch, actually.
"Yes, mom," Santana grumbles, annoyed.
"Are you planning on coming into work anytime soon?" Quinn then asks, sounding annoyed but Santana really doesn't take her seriously. She knows that she's mostly messing around with her.
Santana licks her lips and considers the thought. "We hired new bartenders for a reason," Santana tells her. "I decided months ago that I just want to be an owner. I don't want to actually work in the place," she reminds her. She'd made that decision awhile ago, after getting into too many fights with Rachel and Quinn about calling in too much. But it was only because she wanted to spend more time with Brittany. She used too work too much because she had nothing better to do, but now she has a wife. Before Brittany it was either work or go out and drink and get into some sort of trouble.
"Fine, but we could still use your help with other things." She says. "You're putting everything on me and Rachel."
"I'll come in tomorrow," Santana promises.
Quinn clicks her tongue and nods her head. "Okay, but don't drink too much. You may as well not even come in, if you're hungover." She says, making Santana once again roll her eyes.
"Later, Q," Santana says simply before hanging up her cell phone.
She sighs when she sees the picture of her and Brittany on her background screen. Though it disappears after a few seconds and she can't bring herself to light the screen up again. It'll just make her even more sad, she knows that. However, after a few seconds, she pushes the button again and lets her thumb run across the screen, tracing over Brittany's smiling face. After it disappears this time, she tosses her cell phone on the other side of the couch and sinks down into the cushions.
Her eyes then find the picture above the fireplace of her and Brittany on their wedding day. Santana's wearing a beautiful white gown and Brittany is in her Army uniform. In the photo, they're having their first dance together. Arms are wrapped tightly around each other as they stare lovingly into each other's eyes. Santana hadn't even noticed anyone was taking the picture. She'd been too wrapped up in Brittany.
"You're so beautiful," Brittany hears, being whispered in her ear.
She feels Santana wrap her arms around her from behind and it makes her smile. She'd been looking for her new wife, but some of Santana's family had stolen her away to congratulate her. And same for Brittany, they'd been separated before they could even have their first dance together. Brittany places her hands on top of Santana's that are resting on her stomach, threading their fingers together..
"You've told me a few times today," She grins, before turning in Santana's arms to look at her. She leans in and places a soft kiss on her new wife's lips. "We're married," she says with a giddy smile and a giggle. It's all surreal to the both of them. They've now been married for about half an hour and neither can stop saying it. It's like it won't ever sink in, and the tingly feeling will never go away. Anytime the word is spoken it makes their tongue tingle and their body light up. And, both are okay if that never goes away.
Santana grins as well, the kind of grin that causes her nose to scrunch up. The grin that Brittany can't get enough of. "We are," she nods. "I love you so much," she says sincerely, leaning in and pressing her forehead against Brittany's. "I can't wait to spend forever with you," she says softly.
Brittany mirrors her love sick look, the smile wide on her face. "I love you too and I can't wait for it either. I want to get all old and wrinkly with you," she whispers back with a wide smile, staring back into Santana's dark brown eyes, making Santana chuckle in response, though she completely agrees. She wants to grow old with Brittany too. And as sappy as it'll make her sound, she wants to die with her like in the Notebook.
"Come dance with me," Brittany says and Santana just nods her head, though it was more of a statement than a question. At this point, she'll say yes to anything that Brittany asks of her. She's got her under her spell. Brittany smiles and pulls back slightly, taking Santana's hands in her own, and walking backwards, pulling her over to the dance floor.
Brittany warps her arms back around Santana's waist, only half way paying attention to the DJ announcing everyone to move off the dance floor so that they could have their first dance together. She holds Santana close to her, pressing their foreheads against one another again, as they start swaying to the music.
When the song is over, they barely notice that either, but it gets louder and others crowd the dance floor, pulling them from their own world that they had escaped to. Santana looks up and sees Quinn, Rachel and Tina standing off to the side, sipping on wine. They're all staring at her and Brittany and have tears in their eyes. Tina is basically full on weeping as well as Rachel as they pass each other tissues. It makes Santana roll her eyes, though she smiles at them. She can't believe even Quinn is teary eyed. But she's grateful. They're happy for her.
And even though she hates to admit it, she's glad they're so happy for her.
She's happy for herself and for once, she's not afraid to admit it.
o0o0o0o
Santana basically falls into the booth, almost spilling the drink in her hand, but she still manages to laugh it off as she catches herself. She looks across from her at Puck, who plops down on his own side, drinking a beer. However his attention doesn't stay on her for long as another Latina in short shorts walks by their table. His eyes roam up and down her for a few seconds and Santana just stares at him with a smirk, until he finally pulls his gaze away from the girl's ass and looks back at Santana. "What?" He asks with a shrug. "You can't tell me she wasn't hot," he says, giving her a look.
Santana just chuckles, shaking her head. "I'm more into blonde's," she says with a smirk and he just rolls his eyes at her. "When are you going to get a girlfriend?" Santana asks, making his brows furrow. "I've never seen you in a relationship, and you aren't getting any younger." She tells him, her words slurring slightly. She's already have quite a few drinks.
"Fuck relationships," he says, leaning back against the booth. "Just because you're all boring and married now, doesn't mean we all want to be that way." He says, and now it's Santana's turn to roll her eyes at him. "And I have had a girlfriend." He reminds her.
Santana rolls her eyes, "You dated Quinn for a month. And I don't even think you could call it dating, rather than just fucking a lot." She says with a scoff. She hadn't been too happy with Puck and Quinn decided to date, but she of course couldn't stop them. She definitely didn't hide her distaste to either party though. Her and Puck may be friends, but she knows that he's an asshole. At least, that's what she thought of him back then. She still thinks that he's an asshole, though she knows he's a good guy underneath it all. But Quinn is her best friend and she honestly didn't trust that he wouldn't hurt her. Not to mention that Santana has always had a very high standard when it comes to guys that can date her best friends. She normally doesn't like any of them. It took her forever to warm up to Mike and approve of him, though now she regrets doing that. Seeing as how they're not together anymore. Not that Mike had really done anything wrong. But that's not important.
Whenever Puck cheated on Quinn, she'd come close to ripping his dick off. Though, Quinn managed to hold her back and calm her down. She did manage to get a punch in, breaking his nose. But Quinn and Puck hadn't been that serious so it didn't really effect Quinn too much, which is what made it easier for Santana to forgive him. Though it did take while.
"Hey we went on dates and shit," he defends. "I actually liked her and that's a lot more than I can say for the woman that I just fuck." He argues, pointing a finger in her face and she just swats it away. "I remember I was trying pretty damn hard to fuck Britt," he says with a smirk. Santana's jaw clenches, but he doesn't seem to notice it, or he just doesn't care. "But you got to her first. Nobody has ever beaten me out when it comes to girls." He says, sounding a bit proud, yet also a little disappointed.
"It wasn't a contest," she says, rolling her eyes. "Brittany isn't an object we were fighting over. We had a connection and we fell in love. You had no chance, ever." she says, lifting her chin up a bit. "We're soulmates."
"Okay, you wanna stop being a girl now?" He asks playfully and she reaches over, punching him in the arm. "Fuck you, I was joking." He chuckles, rubbing his arm, that was more than likely going to have a bruise on it now. "How's she doing anyway? Have you heard from her?" He asks, relaxing against the booth again.
Santana bites on her lip and shrugs her shoulders. "I got an email, telling me that she got there. That's about it." She says a bit sadly. She knew she wasn't going to be able to talk to Brittany as much as she wants to, but she will take what she can get. She's been through this before, so it's not the first time. But it still sucks just as much. Honestly, she sometimes hates that Brittany loves what she does so much. She just wants Brittany to be at home with her all of the time.
"She'll be fine," Puck says, but Santana already knows that. Brittany has definitely moved up in the ranks over the past years and she deserves everything she's gotten. She's good at what she does. But it still doesn't mean that Santana doesn't worry about her constantly when she's away on duty. "Hey, how about we get fucked up and forget all about it for a night?" He says, wiggling his eyebrows and holding his beer up in the air.
"I think that's the only good thing that has come out of your mouth tonight, Puckerman," she says, holding up her drink to cheers him.
o0o0o0o
Santana swallows as she tries focusing on the dart board in front of her. She's got her hand up, trying her best to aim the dart in her hand, but it's hard when there are two dart boards. Throwing it, she actually manages to land on the board, though she doesn't get anything that she needs. She hears Puck laugh at her, from the side and she just flips him off. "I'm still kicking your ass," she mumbles, stumbling up to the board to retrieve the darts.
She hands them off to Puck and picks up her drink, sipping on it as she watches him throw. He ends up tossing one onto the dart board a few feet away from their own, where some other people are playing. Santana can't help but burst out laughing. Darts, probably isn't the safest game to have in a bar. Drunk people and sharp objects can't go well together. Though, nobody has gotten hurt so far.
As Puck drags his feet back over to her, she reaches out for the darts, but then feels her pocket vibrate. She pulls it out and sees no messages so she opens it up and realizes that she has a new email. She gets excited and opens it up to see that it's from Brittany.
"It's your turn, bitch," Puck slurs, getting impatient and trying to pass off the darts to her.
"Wait," she snaps, shoving him away. "I got an email from Brittany." She says with a smile. She opens it and starts reading over it, her smile growing even wider. Brittany is safe and she's just telling her some funny stories that have already happened. Leave it to Brittany to find something good about being in a desert in the middle of a war.
"What did she say?" Puck asks, hovering over Santana's shoulder.
She glares at him and nudges him away as she hits reply. Though it's sort of hard for her to type, because she can't even focus on the keys. There are two of every letter and they keep moving as well.
"Are you guys sexting?" Puck asks, trying once again to read over her shoulder.
"No," Santana mumbles, not even really paying him any attention anymore, or caring what he's saying. She manages to get out a message, that she thinks says something along the lines of how much she loves her and misses her. But it has very many errors in it. She knows that Brittany will understand it though. She always gets it.
When Santana finishes, she puts her phone back in her pocket and walks over to Puck who is smoking a cigarette and leaning against the wall, waiting on her to finish. "Give 'em," she says, snatching them out of his hand. She takes her turn and manages to hit a bullseye as well as an 18, which she needed. She smiles widely and hears Puck groan next to her. "All I need is one more bullseye and it's over," she says smugly, looking at his side. He still needs to make about 6 more shots.
It's only minutes later when Santana feels her pocket vibrate again. She'd already won the dart game and the two of them are sitting at a table, just hanging out and talking. She pulls it out and can't help but roll her eyes at the message, though she smiles as well.
Alright, drunky. I miss you too. So much baby. Don't get into too much trouble with Puck, I know how you guys can be. I'll try and face time you or call you tomorrow. Don't forget to eat something and take some Advil before you go to sleep and also drink water. I love you, I love you, I love you.
Santana just replies with the same, 'Yes, mom' response she'd given Quinn earlier. Followed by about 10 'I love you's.' She loves how well Brittany knows her. Just by that one drunken message, she knew that she was out with Puck, drinking and she also doesn't seem to have too much of a problem with it. It makes her heart flutter a little.
And now all she wants to do is go to sleep so it'll be tomorrow already. All she can think about is talking to her wife, and even better, seeing her beautiful face.
o0o0o0o
Santana walks into the restaurant and is happy to see that it's not too busy. She makes her way to the back, the sunglasses still on her face. And she doesn't plan on taking them off anytime soon. Walking into the office, she spots both Quinn and Rachel sitting at their desks. Quinn is putting receipts into a calculator and she's not really sure what Rachel is doing. Probably nothing important.
She slumps down in one of the chairs across from Quinn's desk with a small groan. Quinn's fingers stop moving and she raises a brow at her best friend. "I told you not to drink so much," she reminds her, giving her a disapproving look.
Santana just grunts in response and sinks down into her chair. She puts her feet up on the desk and lets her head fall back against the back of the chair. She knew from the start that she was going to drink as much as she had. She misses Brittany too much and as bad as it is, drinking helps her pain. She's always used alcohol as a healer. Or more so, something to just cover the pain. Though, the drinking stopped when Brittany came into her life. It just became a casual and fun thing to do with friends. But she falls back into those routines when Brittany is away. She can't help it. She can't deal with her feelings and how much she misses her wife and how scared she is for her.
Quinn stands up from her chair and makes her way over to Santana. She grabs her mug of coffee off of the desk and hands it to the Latina, as she leans up against the desk in front of her.
Santana takes it gratefully, almost chucking the entire cup in one gulp. Quinn looks at her a bit sympathetically and walks behind her. She brings her hands up to Santana's scalp and starts gently massing her head. "Have you heard from Britt?" She asks quietly, choosing to not comment further on how much Santana had drank last night.
Santana lets her eyes flutter closed at the feeling of Quinn's fingers working into her scalp. "Yeah, she emailed me last night. We didn't get to talk long." She says with a sigh. "She said she'd call me or facetime me today, but she hasn't yet." She says a little sadly.
"It's still pretty early," Rachel says from across the room, making them both look over at her. "I'm pretty sure that it's like 2am there or something." She says with a small shrug. "She'll probably call you in a couple of hours when she gets up." She adds.
"See, she'll call," Quinn assures, trying to help cheer Santana up. She knows that she 's miserable right now and she really can't blame her. She's never been in this situation before, but she can't even imagine how much it must suck. She's never really even been in love, much less had her love taken away from her and put in possible danger.
Tina walks in the door a few minutes later. "They're out of Patron out there," she mumbles walking to the back of the office to the closet where all the stocks of alcohol are kept. Though she stops in her tracks when she notices Santana sitting there. "Hey beautiful," she greets with a friendly smile, though she can sense Santana's foul mood.
"Hi," Santana croaks out, her voice raspy from the alcohol and cigarettes she'd been smoking last night. Plus she's tired, hungover and just miserable.
Tina grabs the bottle that she needs and asks Rachel to take it out to the bar. Rachel gives her a bewildered and almost angry look, not sure why she's trying to get her to do it for her. She's plenty capable of it. However, Tina gives her a look and Rachel glances over at Santana, before realizing that Tina just wants to talk to the Latina alone.
And of course, Rachel silently agrees to let her do so. If anyone can cheer Santana up it would be Tina. Or at least get her to semi open up about how she's feeling and how she's really doing. So she gets up and grabs the bottle before walking out the door. Quinn seemed to have picked up on it earlier and follows Rachel out, without even an excuse.
Tina walks to the other side of the office and sits down on the couch in the room. She pats the spot next to her, looking at Santana. It doesn't even take the brunette half a second, before she's out of her chair and on the couch next to her friend. She curls up against Tina's side and lies her head down on her shoulder.
"How you holding up?" Tina asks softly, caressing, Santana's shoulder with the hand that is wrapped around her.
"I miss her," Santana says quietly. "I don't like sleeping in our bed alone," she says, trying to keep her tears at bay. Tina is really the only person that she would ever let see her like this. Maybe Quinn, but it would take a lot more coaxing than it does Tina.
"I know, honey," Tina says quietly. "But as always, when she's gone, you can come stay with me. Or I'll come over." She tells her, though Santana already knows this. She just sort of hates having to call. She hates being so needy. "But, I know that it's not the same." She says knowing that being with her might just be a little comfort compared to being with Brittany. But she'll do as much as she can to help Santana.
Santana sniffles and brings her hand up to her face, wiping a stray tear that managed to escape. "I can't stop thinking that she's hurt or even dead. Every time the phone rings or there is a knock, I'm scared it's someone telling me she's gone." She says, biting down on her lip to try and stop it from quivering. She's had this same conversation with Tina, before so she knows that she knows all of these things. Santana just needs to talk to someone about it again.
"I know baby, we're all scared for her," Tina says, holding Santana tighter, trying to give her as much comfort as she can muster. "But you know how badass and strong she is. Nothing can kill her." Tina says with a small chuckle, hoping to make Santana feel better. "She's like a cockroach."
Santana smiles and looks up at her friend. "Did you just compare my wife to a cockroach?" She asks, sounding playfully offended.
Tina chuckles and nods her head. "I did," she confirms with a grin. "She'll be alright San," she says in a softer tone. She pulls Santana back to her and the girl rests her head back on Tina's shoulder, letting out a soft sigh.
"Thanks, T." She says sincerely. Tina always manages to make her feel better. She may not feel 100%, but she knows that she won't until Brittany is at home. But at least Tina helps. She makes her not feel so shifty for even just a few moments. And she makes her not feel like going out and getting drunk or just moping around all night.
Quinn may be her best friend, but her and Tina have a special relationship. It's different than her relationship with Quinn and all of her other friends. It was actually a complicated relationship for awhile, but they've finally reached a nice and comfortable place. Santana can't be more thankful that after everything Tina is still in her life. And one of her best support systems at that.
They sit just like that for a few minutes before the office door opens. Quinn peaks inside, making sure it's alright to come in and Santana just laughs quietly at her obviousness and sits up off of Tina. She wipes her eyes and sniffles a bit looking at her other best friend. "So, what is there for me to do around here, that you guys can't handle?" She asks, raising a brow at the blonde.
Quinn makes her way back over to her desk and takes a seat, looking at Santana across from her. "We can handle it just fine," she says a bit defensively. "I'm just saying that you do own this place too and you could help out." She says, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back in her office chair. She's never had a problem with Santana's work ethic, ever since they agreed to buy the place together. She actually used to do more work than either of them, but that was also because Quinn knew that Santana would throw herself into her work to keep herself out of trouble. Which she appreciated, because she's known Santana awhile and she used to get into way too much trouble. To the point where Quinn was worried she was going to end up dead or in prison. So she was happy to see that Santana started turning her life around with this place.
Now, she has Brittany, which meant she was at work less, but she still did her part. However, it seems that whenever Brittany leaves, she does the opposite of throwing herself into her work. She gets too upset to come to work and just sits at home moping. At least for the first few months and then she'll usually snap out of it long enough to do her fair share of work.
Regardless, Santana is there when they need them and she still puts in the money. They wouldn't have a restaurant if it weren't for her. No matter what Rachel tries to say.
"Isn't that the point of being an owner? Making everyone else do the work," she says with a smirk, though she knows it's not true. They actually have to do a lot to keep the place up and going. Especially since Quinn and Rachel do most of the management work, instead of hiring one. "What are these? New people?" She asks, spotting a few applications on the desk. She picks them up and starts looking over them. "This chick is only 16 and she's never had a job," she says, tossing the resume onto the floor.
Quinn picks it up and puts it back on her desk. "You have to start somewhere and it's not like you hit on the employee's anymore so why do you care if they're legal age?" Quinn asks with a sigh. Santana has always been extremely picky when it comes to their staff. She'll normally throw them out for any little reason. Her standards are extremely high. "We actually have a few coming in today to interview for serving positions. If you want to talk to a few of them."
"Yeah, sure," Santana shrugs, still looking over the stack of applicants in her hands.
"Alright, well I should get back to work," Tina says, standing up from the couch. "Make sure the kitchen hasn't burn down or anything," she says teasingly. She's the kitchen manager and oversees everything in the kitchen. But the chefs that they have are all very good at their job, which makes her job a lot easier. "Love you," she says, poking Santana's nose.
Santana scrunches up her nose as Tina pokes it and she swats the girls hand away. "Love you too," she grumbles, rolling her eyes a little because she hates being sappy like this with her friends. Especially in front of other friends. It would be different if it were just her and Tina alone. But Quinn is watching as well. However, Santana gives her a look that tells Tina she's being sincere and that she appreciates her a lot. And it's enough for Tina.
o0o0o0o
Santana hums along to the music, blasting from her computer. She lies down on the floor and starts doing her crunches. Sweat is dripping from her entire body and her breathing is heavy. Her muscles burn, but she can't stop. Working out is really the only thing that keeps her busy other than drinking or doing something that she shouldn't. Sometimes she pushes herself too hard during her workouts, but she doesn't really care. She likes it, she likes the feeling. Plus it keeps her body looking good for her wife.
After she finishes her first set, she relaxes against the floor and exhales heavily, looking up at the ceiling fan above her, going round and round. She can tell that she's going to feel this workout tomorrow, but she'll deal with that when it comes. It'll just be a good excuse to lay in bed all day and not have to be social or go into work.
Before she can get up to do another set, she hears the music from her computer mixing with a ringing sound. She sits up quickly, recognizing the sound from Skype. Even though she's already sore, she practically runs over to the device. She smiles widely when she sees that it's Brittany. Not that it would be anyone else. Brittany is the only person she ever skypes. Unless one of her friends is out of town.
She answers it and waits impatiently as it loads and the screen goes from black to her wife's smiling face. "Britt," she breathes out with a wide smile when she finally sees her. She's so beautiful and seeing her always takes Santana's breath away. Especially when she doesn't get to see her as much as she wants to. Unless it's in a photograph.
Even sitting there with her hair pulled up in a pony tail, and small sweat stains on her Army T-shirt, she looks gorgeous. She has no make up on and Santana can even see a few smudges of dirt on her. She doesn't understand how she can still look absolutely stunning.
"Hey beautiful," Brittany greets back, giving her a small wave. "Or more like sexy…have you been working out?" Brittany asks, her eyes looking at every inch of Santana that she can see. The Latina is wearing a sports bra and Brittany can see her arms and the top part of her abs. She can also see the sweat shining on her.
"I have," Santana confirms with a nod. "Possibly a little too hard. But I have to look sexy for my baby," she says with a wink.
Brittany licks her lips subconsciously and can't seem to move her eyes up from Santana's chest to look at her eyes. "I miss you so much," Brittany says, finally letting her eyes meet Santana's dark orbs.
"I miss you too," Santana says quietly, suddenly turning a bit shy. She chews on her bottom lip and looks down, tracing a few of the keys with her finger, just needing to do something. Talking to Brittany like this is always bitter sweet for her. She loves seeing her and talking to her but it also just reminds her of the situation, because they can only Skype. It also makes her sad because she knows that this is all she is going to get for awhile.
"Hey," Brittany says, ducking her head a bit, though she knows it won't actually help to catch Santana's eyes. "Look at me beautiful," she tries, getting her attention again. And it works, because Santana slowly raises her head to meet Brittany's eyes. "I'll be back before you know it," she tells her, knowing Santana is upset. "Don't be sad. I don't like when you're sad." She says matter of fact, a small pout forming on her own face. She misses Santana more than anything and it makes her sad being away from her as well. But she really does love her job. It's really one of the only things she's done that she's good at and that makes her feel like she's accomplishing something. She's not sure what she'd do if she wasn't in the Army. Santana has told her multiple times that she didn't even need to work, but she couldn't be one of those wives.
Santana gives her a small smile, but it doesn't last very long. "I just want you here," she says quietly. "Our house is so empty and our bed is so lonely without you." She says, feeling her eyes start to burn a little. But she tries to force the tears down. She doesn't want to cry, at least not this early in the conversation. "It'll only smell like you for another couple of weeks, before it's totally gone." She says sadly. She's been through this before. She knows about how long it takes for Brittany's smell to go away after being away. It's starts to slowly fade away and each day it smells a little less like her. It breaks her heart a little every day.
"I've been trying to convince you to let us get a cat," Brittany says with a smirk, trying to make Santana smile. She knows how sad Santana is, but instead of apologizing and telling her it'll be okay, she just wants to try and get her to think of something else. She knows either won't really work though.
Santana can't help but chuckle, even if she's still sad. "I don't want a fucking cat." She grumbles. "I want you." She adds matter of fact. "You don't shit in a box that I have to clean out." She says, trying herself to lighten the mood. She knows she's sort of bringing it down and making everything sad. But that's just because she is sad.
Brittany laughs loudly at this and it makes Santana actually sincerely smile. She loves Brittany's laugh, and her smile. She could listen to it all day, every day. She doesn't think she'd ever be in a bad mood if she could just listen to Brittany laugh all day. "I told you that I could potty train him. That's a thing," She says, nodding her head, feeling so sure of herself. But Santana doesn't believe that it can be done.
"Britt, cats can't use a toilet." She says, rolling her eyes.
"I've seen it!" Brittany defends. "Look it up on youtube." She says, folding her arms over her chest.
Santana just smiles and shakes her head. "How are you doing?" She asks, after a few seconds. She knows that Brittany actually likes her job and everything, but living out in a desert, can't be that glamourous. Though Brittany hardly ever complains about it. She always has good stories to tell about her days. The only time that she's ever seen Brittany truly upset was one time when a friend of hers was killed in front of her. She'd blamed herself and it had effected her so much that she almost decided to quit the Army when her term was up. However, she'd changed her mind after some time.
"There were these kids out on the street today and they were making these bracelets out of strings. They gave me one." She says with a smile, holding her wrist up to show off the rainbow bracelet that one of the kids had made for her. "I also asked them to make you one." She grins, holding up her other wrist that has a red, black and white one. "I told them that you like black and red. Aren't they awesome?"
Santana can't help but smile at her wife. "They're amazing, Britt." She smiles. "I'm sure the kids there love you." She says, knowingly. Brittany has always been amazing with kids. And almost every time she gets deployed, she makes friends with the kids around. They're always curious about the American soldiers and like to hang around or follow them, watching them. And Brittany always takes the time to talk to them and even play with them if she's not busy with something else. Santana always gets pictures of her with the local kids. And it sort of makes her love her wife even more. She can't help but think about how good Brittany will be with their own kids.
"The kids here are awesome," she smiles. "This one little boy told me that he wants to marry me." She says matter of fact.
Santana raises a brow and smirks. "Do I have some competition?" She asks teasingly.
Brittany grins and hums in response, nodding her head. This makes Santana huff and fold her arms over her chest, letting her bottom lip poke out into a pout. "I'm kidding baby, you know you're the only one for me." She smiles, sounding sincere. "We're soul mates so you're stuck with me for the rest of your life, no matter what." She says with a cute grin.
"I think I'm definitely okay with that," Santana says, turning the conversation more serious than light and playful. "There are so many things that I want to do with you." She says honestly.
Brittany smiles fondly at her wife. "Like what?" She asks, though she already know what Santana means. She wants the same things, she just likes hearing them.
"Like, have a family with you," Santana lists, that being the main thing that she wants to do with Brittany. "I want to have kids with you and maybe a family dog, not a cat. As long as I don't have to clean up his shit as well," she says with a smirk. "I want to teach our kids how to surf, and spend days with them at the beach. I want to watch them grow up with you and I want to grow old with you. Sit out on our porch and think back at all the good moments in our life and what we've accomplished," She says, then blushes slightly because she went a little more detailed than she had planned.
Brittany just stares at her wife, a huge smile on her face. She's giving Santana one of those looks that makes the Latina groan. It one of those looks that tells her she's being extremely sappy. And all Brittany wants to do is hug her and kiss her all over for being so cute. Which, Santana doesn't really mind, though she does still have a rep. At least she likes to think she has a rep.
"I love you, Santana Lopez," Brittany says with a dreamlike sigh. "And I want all of those things too baby. And we'll have them, I promise."
Smiling back, Santana nods, still blushing slightly. "I love you too, B."
"Is that Brittany?" Santana suddenly hears, the voice of Quinn. She looks up and sees the blonde walking in the front door. Without knocking of course, but Santana doesn't really mind. She doesn't knock when she goes over to Quinn's either.
Santana then glances over at the clock and realizes that it's 6PM. They'd had plans to all get together tonight to have some dinner and watch a few movies. Really, it's just an excuse to keep Santana company, without her having to ask for it. Because they all know that she'd just sit here moping, if they didn't come over. "Yes," Santana answers simply, a little annoyed that she has been interrupted. "Beat it." She adds, giving her best friend a glare.
"Santana, be nice," Brittany says from where she is.
Quinn smirks as she watches Santana roll her eyes, but relax her shoulders and not say anything else. She walks over behind Santana and looks at the screen, seeing Brittany's face. "Hey, Brittany," Quinn greets with a wave. "I hope you're doing okay, over there."
"I'm doing great," Brittany chirps. "Except missing this one too much," she says, pointing her finger at the camera to make it look like she's pointing at Santana. It makes Santana perk up a little, hearing Brittany say that she misses her, and she even gets a small smile on her face, replacing the pout that had been there from getting in trouble.
"I don't see why," Quinn says playfully, causing Santana to hit her arm and Brittany just giggles. "But she misses you too, she's been a pouty little brat the past few days." Quinn says, smirking, and rubs her hand over the top of Santana's hair, messing it up.
Santana whines and brings her hands up, fixing her hair, before pouting again. "I have not," she grumbles, though it doesn't exactly prove her point. It just proves Quinn's, which Brittany could have guessed anyway.
"Baby, don't be pouty and be nice to your friends." She says, in an almost chastising voice. Santana just rolls her eyes for the thousandth time. "I'm sorry she's being a handful, but thank you for looking after her," Brittany says, now looking up at Quinn who is still standing behind the Latina, her hands resting on Santana's shoulders.
"You make me sound like a child," Santana huffs.
"You are," Both Brittany and Quinn say at the same time, making each other giggle. Santana just continues pouting.
o0o0o0o
Santana is sitting down on the couch, stuffing her face with the pasta that Tina had made them for dinner. Tina is definitely the best cook that she knows. Which is a good thing, considering the girl went to culinary school. She always hates the pout that Brittany gets on her face when Santana is so obviously enjoying one of Tina's meals. But that's just because Brittany can't cook to save her life, even though she tries often. But Tina's food is amazing and she can't help it. Even Brittany can't deny that. As soon as she gets a taste, she's moaning just as much as Santana.
She feels her calves get nudged and looks up to see Quinn trying to get by her, wanting her to remove her feet from the coffee table. Santana glares, swallowing down her mouthful but moves her legs just long enough for Quinn to get by her and sit on the opposite side, a plate in her hand as well.
Reaching out, Santana grabs her beer and takes a long swig of it, washing all the food down. "This is so good," Santana gushes, as Tina walks into the living room as well and sits in the recliner across from her.
Tina just smirks and takes a bite. "I see that, considering we just got our plates and you're already almost done with yours." She says with a light chuckle. "But, thank you, I'm glad you like it." She adds with a grin. "Just make sure you save enough for Rachel and Sam, since they're running late," she adds, pointing her fork at the Latina as she speaks.
Santana sticks her tongue out at the Asian girl, and scrunches her nose up in response, making Tina chuckle.
"So Brittany seemed like she was doing well." Quinn states, glancing at her best friend.
Santana nods her head as she takes another drink. Instead of continuing to stuff her face, she just starts picking at the pasta. Brittany definitely seemed to be doing okay, and she was happy for that. But it still doesn't mean she doesn't miss her or that she's okay with Brittany being away from her for such a long time. "Yeah, she's doing great. She loves what she does," Santana says with a small shrug, trying to brush it off and not make it seem like she's as upset as she really is.
But of course her friends know otherwise. "Hey, she loves you more than her job and you know that." Quinn says, reaching over and placing her hand on her leg. She knows that Santana has had this argument with Brittany before and she's vented to them about it. Even if it's just anger or sadness, Santana has accused Brittany of loving her job more than her. Santana just can never understand how Brittany is okay with leaving and being away as much as she is. She doesn't understand why Brittany would want to do this.
"I do know that," Santana says honestly. "I just wish she could love another job," she sighs.
Before anyone else can get any other words in, there is a knock on the door. Santana's entire body tenses up, just like it always does when there is a knock. She'd just talked to Brittany earlier in the day, but she still gets that empty feeling when someone is at the door. Even if she's expecting someone.
Tina and Quinn seem to notice her freeze up, and step into action. "I'll get the door," Tina says, standing up. Quinn scoots closer and gives Santana's knee a squeeze, trying to get her to relax.
"Hey, it's fine." Quinn tells her. "It's probably Rachel, or Sam," She says, considering the two are supposed to be joining them soon. "Go back to stuffing your face," she says with a smirk, pointing to Santana's plate.
Santana just smirks and relaxes back into the couch, scooping up another bite onto her fork and shoving it in her mouth. She knows that she over reacts to things like the door and the phone but she can't help it. And none of her friends understand it or can even attempt to. They've never had to deal with anything like this.
"Santana," Tina's voice says quietly, making her look up at the Asian. She sees the girl looking like she's going to burst into tears and it confuses her. "What?" She asks, looking past Tina. She feels her heart drop into her stomach when she doesn't see Rachel or Sam, but two men from the Army, looking at her solemnly.
A/N: Alright well we're still in the beginning stages of this story, but tell me what you think so far! (: