II.

She parked her car in front of the Sac'n'Pac and took a deep breath. She definitely needed something to raise her sugar level before going home. Her dad was working overtime (and it wasn't the first time), so she'd have to face mom alone. Lianne was still trying to keep up her farce, but even she had noticed that Veronica had changed. A month after Lilly's confession she'd gotten sick of her pink and pastel clothes and ripped up half of it. Lianne had walked into her room, her eyes big as saucers, as Veronica was tearing up her frilly blouses and white cotton dresses.

'Veronica darling, your pretty clothes…' Her voice had faltered. For the first time in her life, Veronica had been overcome with rage, with an urge to hurt something or someone.

'Just go away!'

'Veronica-'

'Shut up!' Lianne's face turned white. Veronica had never said something like that before. 'You only make things worse. You always make things worse!'

Her mom didn't say a word before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Hours later, Keith found his daughter on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably. She tolerated his presence, and she tolerated his arms around her as he tried to comfort her.

'I need you, dad,' she'd whispered, while he hugged her and softly stroke her hair.

'I'm always here, sweetheart. It's gonna be alright now,' he answered.

'I need you,' she said again, putting as much meaning into those words as she could muster. She knew she needed him, and she needed him to be her dad. He was the only one who actually seemed to give a damn about her. She realized she didn't even know Jake Kane. He had money, lots of it, he cared for his children… at least, that's what it looked like. But not like Keith. Not like her father.

She needed to know.

The Sac'n'Pac was empty, save for the boy behind the counter. He was probably new here, since she was pretty sure she'd never seen his face before. Then again, he wasn't an 09'er, otherwise he wouldn't be working here. Did he just smile at her?

She grabbed a twinkie and a package of gum and went back to the counter, where the boy was clearly waiting in anticipation, an unsure smile still lingering around his lips. He looked like a little puppy, waiting for someone to throw a bone. Lilly would crush him, she couldn't help but think.

Would you? She hadn't really changed that much, had she? She wasn't sweet innocent Veronica anymore, but could she really be thinking like Lilly Kane? Well, they say blood runs thicker than water… She shook it off and smiled at him. He visibly relaxed. 'Hey.'

'Hey.' His nametag read Wallace Fennel. 'New in the neighborhood?'

'Yeah. We just moved here. I'm starting at Neptune High next month, junior year.'

Wallace flinched a bit, afraid his response might have been a bit too enthusiastic. Veronica couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 'Well, you already met one of your classmates then. Veronica Mars.'

'Wallace Fennel.' The smile on his face was probably worth a million. 'That's cool. I mean, cool name. Cool to meet you too, of course.'

'Yeah, that's okay.' She put her food on the counter. He carefully avoided Veronica's gaze, clearly embarrassed with his answers. There was something about him that endeared her. Lilly would certainly not approve. Well, screw Lilly, she thought.

'I'll see you at school then. Don't worry too much about it, you'll be fine.'

He looked up again, saw she wasn't joking and smiled. 'Yeah. See ya 'round, Veronica.'

She was still smiling when she left the Sac'n'Pac and returned to her car. She didn't even need the 09'ers. Maybe she was perfectly capable of making friends on her own.

Back in the car, she turned on the radio and pulled out of the parking space. Supertramp's Take the long way home was playing, and she smiled at the irony of that song. She was taking the long way home, after all. Everything to forget about her family and their troubles.

Her parents had thought it was just a bad break up, but after a month or two they actually began to worry. They started questioning if things between her and Lilly were still okay, if things were going fine at school, if some kids were bothering her…

She'd thought about telling him. She'd always hated lying to him, but somehow she couldn't come clean about this. It was grating on her, keeping the truth from him, but it hurt even more to think of him finding out what had been going on behind his back. Things like these kept her awake at night and sometimes she thought sleep deprivation was going to get the better of her. She'd come close to telling him a couple of times, but found the words just wouldn't come out.

She parked her car in front of the house, seeing a still vacant spot on their driveway. It must've been past 8, but her dad wasn't home yet. Another long day at the office, probably. She stuffed the twinkie into her mouth and sighed. Eating made her feel better – for a while. Running made her feel better too, but just as temporarily. Getting her mind off things wasn't that hard, but it would only take a couple of minutes for reality to kick in again.

The twinkie left a sickly sweet taste in her mouth. It was just too much, after her day with Lilly… She got out of the car and threw up.

What the hell is wrong with you, Veronica Mars?

She tried to steady her breath, but she was shaking all over. Ah, but that's the point. What's it gonna be? Veronica Mars, or Veronica Kane?

That thought alone was enough to make her throw up again.