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It was hard to block Lissa out that night, her emotions were ruthless and her pain unbearable through the bond. I couldn't even start to imagine how they felt to her, first hand.

After what seemed like hours of twisting and turning in my sheets I finally fell asleep, but my dreams didn't bring much comfort.

It was dark, and when I say dark, I mean pitch black can't see your own arm raised in front of you dark.

I tried to grasp my surroundings by squinting, but even my advanced dhampire vision couldn't make out a speck of light.

I shuffled my feet hoping to get a feel for where I was, at least. Nothing. Shit.

I decided against my better judgment to say something, "You know I'm not afraid of the dark." Someone chuckled in response. I tensed when I realized who it was, Christian. I was about to ask him if he was alive or not but he spoke before I got the chance.

"Such a charmer, Rose," his voice sounded different…colder. Yes, he was mocking me, which was the normal Christian I was used to, but…something was off.

"You smell like Belikov."

"I wh-what?!" What the hell was that supposed to mean and how could he smell me?

"You're…romantically involved with him, aren't you? I've been noticing the way you guys act around each other, for a while now."

"You're…you're wrong," I couldn't think of anything else to say. I was still stuck on the whole smelling Dimitri on me thing.

"I can hear your heartbeat. You're lying to me."

Okay, wow, now we were getting into severely creepy Christian mode.

"Christian, look, I don't know where you're getting this bullshit from but you know it's not true," I really hope my voice didn't quaver, I could feel him staring at me. My eyes still weren't adjusted to the light, so my attempts at looking around for an exit were pointless.

"I'm a lot of things, Rose, but stupid isn't one of them," he sneered. Why was he acting so strange? "Stop looking for an exit," he added abruptly.

"Alright, buddy, stop acting so freakin' weird it's- wait, how did you know I was looking around? I can't see anything so I know that you, for sure, can't see anything." I was answered with silence. I expected him to come up with some snarky Christian comeback, but all I heard for another thirty seconds was silence.

It was starting to make me more than uncomfortable; it was making me scared, but that was ridiculous, this was Christian for crying out loud.

I was proved wrong when I felt a piercing pain on the side of my neck.

I was roughly shaken awake by an agitated Alberta, "You wanted to come on this mission so badly and you didn't even think to set an alarm!"

Relief flooded through me, Christian wasn't a Strigoi! My subconscious had just wanted to torment me last night.

Now that I was over the fact that my best friend's boyfriend wasn't a part of the undead club, I had to deal with Alberta, a very pissed off Alberta.

I looked up at her, still groggy, "Sorry?" she didn't looked very pleased with my response.

"Get dressed Hathaway. We leave in fifteen minutes, with or without you." Geez

"Alright, alright," I mumbled as I threw my comforter off me, exposing my bare legs. I usually only slept in a t-shirt and underwear. Alberta was still looking at me.

"What…?" I asked slowly, trying to piece together why she was staring at me so oddly.

"You're lucky, I almost sent Guardian Belikov up here to get you."

It took me a second to understand why she was saying that I was "lucky" because she came up to my room to retrieve me instead of Dimitri.

Then it clicked. A normal teenage girl would be embarrassed if her Russian god of a mentor saw her half-naked. I obviously didn't care if he saw me completely naked but, I hope it wasn't too obvious to Alberta.

"Oh!" I tried to mock surprise and embarrassment, "of course! That would suck," I threw in a thin-lipped smile to try to tie the lie together.

Alberta bought it, maybe, probably not.

"Okay, Miss Hathaway, we'll be waiting at the gates. Hurry" I could tell she was trying not to think too much about our awkward exchange.

Cold air was ripping apart my lungs as I jogged towards the academy's gates. My mother, Dimitri, Alberta, Stan and two other guardians I didn't know the names of stood, waiting for me.

"Are we just going to stand here or are we going to collect some bodies," I flinched as the words left my mouth, not realizing how harsh they sounded before they escaped my mouth.

"Sorry," I added quickly.

I am not going to say anything else, unless I proofread it first, I promised myself silently.

"Yes…we should get going," Dimitri broke the awkward silence, always my savior.

We broke off into a fast jog towards the caves that we had run from only yesterday.

I quickened my pace so I could be next to Dimitri.

"Couldn't remember to set an alarm, Rose?" He laughed despite the running and harsh weather.

"Hey! I'm surprised you could even get up this morning, you must've been exhausted from that erotic dream you had last night. Tonight I'll dream about you. I'll dream about the way you smell and how your dark hair feels like silk between my fingers. I'll dream about the smoothness of your skin and the fierceness of your lips when we kiss," I quoted him.

He didn't respond, or even look at me. He just kept running.

Then I noticed it. A flare of scarlet was making its way up his neck and it definitely wasn't from the warm weather.

"You're blushing!" I gasped, holy shit! I didn't know he was capable of the feelings a blush usually ensued…he was embarrassed from the heated words he had whispered to me last night.

It was adorable.

I elbowed him in the side, giggling.

"Rose! Leave Guardian Belikov alone," the annoying voice of my mother interrupted my happiness.

I glanced back, groaning, "Talk to you later," Dimitri gave a curt node in response; he was strictly back in guardian mode.

I slowed my pace so that I was running next to Janine.

"Why'd you do that? We were just talking,"

"Because, we're here."

"Since the Strigoi are obviously not here anymore, we need to make a plan," all of Alberta's light heartedness from earlier was gone. "Rose, Dimitri, you two look for survivors. Janine, Emil and I will look in the right tunnel for bodies and the rest of you look in the left tunnel," everyone agreed solemnly.

The violent events of last night were coming back to me, and I realized how lucky I was that I was standing here helping with the body count, instead of being a part of it.

"Are you okay?" I had been so engrossed with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed Dimitri looking at me.

"Yeah, of course," that was my instinct reply and Dimitri knew it.

"Roza…"

"Do you think the Strigoi could have made Christian like…like one of them?" The thought of Christian actually being turned Strigoi was unfathomable, but my dream from last night was still tugging at the back of my brain.

Dimitri didn't answer right away. Not a good sign.

"Probably not, but if they recognized him as an Ozera, then they might. Just to mock us." It made me sick thinking that Christian being turned Strigoi was just a punch line of some joke.

After picking through various bodies; Moroi, Strigoi and guardians alike, we still hadn't found Christian and I was starting to worry, like really worry.

If Lissa couldn't handle the thought of Christian possiblybeing dead, how on earth was she going to handle Christian being a Strigoi?

"That's the last of them," Emil interrupted my thoughts.

"Are you sure? We still haven't found Christian Ozera."

"I guess he really was destined to become Strigoi," Stan added morosely.

"Don't say that!" I shrieked, "We still don't know for sure, he might have survived or he's in the woods somewhere or-or," my breath was coming in short bursts and I could feel hot tears starting to leak from eyes. It wasn't just Lissa's emotions seeping into me, I cared about him, he was my friend, and it was my fault he had succumbed to a fate worse than death.

Kirova told me I didn't have to be the one to deliver the news to Lissa, and I almost took her up on it, recalling last night's argument with her, but I had to be brave.

I stopped at her door, trying to conjure up the courage to knock. Right now she still had a little hope for Christian, hope that I was about to obliterate into a million pieces.

I cleared my throat and lightly knocked, "Lissa?" I heard her slide off the bed and come to the door. She slowly creaked it open and peeked out at me.

"Where is he?"

"Lissa, I'm not telling you anything unless you let me in." She considered whether letting me in was worth knowing about Christian or not. Geez, how bad was I?

After I convinced her to let me sit on the bed next to her, I broke the news.

The tear-enraged fury that I thought I was going to receive didn't happen.

Lissa looked up at me, emotionless, "Okay."

"Okay?" I asked, bewildered.

"Okay"

"Lissa, I don't know what to say I…I can't do anything about it. I'm sorry."

"I know that you can't do anything, Rose. It's okay, go to bed."

"What? No! Let me be here for you Lissa," it was driving me crazy, knowing that I couldn't take this pain away from her, the bond could only do so much.

"You need to rest, goodnight Rose."

"Fine…I'll leave, if that's what you really want," I looked up at her hoping she would tell me to stay. Hell, I was hoping she'd tell me anything. She was blocking the bond and it was driving me insane.

"Wait – why are you blocking the bond?" She finally showed some emotion on her face, "I'm not. I don't feel anything. Christian took my soul with him. I'm gone, Rose. Goodnight," and with that she shut the door; leaving me torn apart and breathless, by her words.