She had almost stayed there. Almost.
It was too easy not to leave. Why shouldn't she want to stay? For the last 7 years, she had been wandering from one world to another desperately trying to find her family and in trying to find them found that they needed saving. Every version.
There was a pull there, an ache. She was drawn into worlds, shades of each other, where she didn't exist. Never born, never lived, never died. And yet in every world she had visited, this never girl had been needed to save them. By dipping into the stream, fighting the current in order to show up in time. It was always something. World after world there was always some disaster or miscommunication or disease threatening her family. There was always something.
She had been inventor, savior, friend. But never daughter. Never sister, never this. She had gone back again and again and again in order to move forward in the hopes of finding her own family. Hers.
It always came down to hers. That singular mystery. And she was tired. Too young to be this tired. Too old to have lived so alone for so long. Too young to have lived so alone.
Why shouldn't she want to stay?
For the first time in her life she felt what it was to have a family of her own, to belong to someone, to feel loved and wanted and cherished. She had a sister. She was someone's little sister. Someone who had known their mother. She was connected to something real and tangible and solid. It made her feel real. Present in a way that she had never felt before. This was real. What if there was nothing for her to find, no home to return to? Miraculous things had already happened. Her sister was alive and she was perfect and she believed her, wanted her, loved her. What if there were no more miracles?
Yes, it was too easy not to leave. And yet all the wandering, all her travels between the worlds only led her to one conclusion. She had to find her family. And before it was too late.
London Wednesday May 4th, 1912
"...but this is astonishing! You clever girl. Now I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are truly my mother's daughter." Christina was looking at her through eyes she'd never seen before, a peculiar variety of pride born out of love.
Christina had been Helena's One. Though but a child, their mother had made her privy to her work as a Warehouse agent, had told her about the time machine and her other inventions. Because of this, she was fully capable of imagining impossible things. And knowing this, the compliment was fully felt.
Charlie squeezed Christina's arm tightly and smiled. Yes, she was very much HG Wells' daughter. More than her sister could ever know. She had seen enough to know what that entailed. It was the strength in her and also her darkness. Yes, she was their mother's daughter, but she also belonged to someone else. Somebody that was able to amplify both Helena's strength and curb her darkness. The young traveler often thought that same blood must be working in her too. She had her suspicions but she couldn't know for sure, not until she found them. Mrs. Frederic had told her one part of the truth of her origins but confessed to be unsure of the identity of the girl's father. Charlie had long believed it was because she didn't have one. And she was desperately hoping that she was right.
Christina looked at the girl who appeared lost in thought. Gently tapping her sister's nose she brought her back to herself, eliciting a sheepish smile. "You were far far away my love." She continued quietly, "You've been so for a very long time. I would have you here with me." "Please don't drift away where I cannot find you." Christina at 26 years of age had already lost too much. She couldn't lose her sister too."
Charlie couldn't bear the fear in her sister's eyes. Couldn't bear the look that had settled on her face. She'd never felt so torn or anguished. This intrepid adventurer who had lived far beyond the number of her years was suddenly just a small child crying into her sister's shoulder.
"What my dearheart, what is it?"
"I can't stay here. I want to stay here with you."
"But I can't stay here." Her voice was so small.
Christina's eyes were swimming in tears at this admission. She knew this was true. And yet she had hoped otherwise.
The young woman was not prepared for the explanation that came. Nor however, could she have been prepared for the feelings it elicited: shock, hurt, loss, comfort and love.
"She saved you." Charlie breathed the words as if announcing a miracle. Looking up at the tear-stained face as if seeing it for the first time again.
"I don't think that even I can ever understand or really even imagine what it took. How many times she must have tried. Or in how many worlds she tried. And the toll it took on her spirit to survive, thinking that she failed."
"She saved you and she doesn't even know it. And that not knowing keeps her broken. Always. And time never heals her of that pain. Not ever."
"I can't stay. She has to know you lived. That pain inside her threatens everything."
"I've seen her Chris. Not her exactly but versions of her. And I never see her happy." She almost whispered the last part. "Even when she loves. Even when she is so completely loved."
"Shh-shh. There, there my love. Don't cry." She wrapped her up in her arms holding her fiercely. Telling her not to cry through her own tears.
"You cannot stay here. I see that now."
"You must go to her. You must find her."
"Only promise me that if it's safe, you'll come find me again when you do."
Charlie pulled away to face her sister and wiped her eyes. No longer a child. The child was gone now. There was the look of a determined woman on her face. Nodding emphatically she promised, "I will. And I will come back to you."
When they had both calmed down, when a peace had settled into their hearts. Christina asked almost shyly, "Tell me more about Mum. These versions of her, who is it that she doesn't allow herself to love?"
Charlie should have expected the question. Was even glad it was finally voiced. But it still knocked the wind out of her for a moment. She had to take a deep breath before replying.
"Myka. Her name is Myka."