Catharsis

Oliver crashing at Felicity's apartment after a rough night as Arrow

W

With the car closing in on Westside highway, the very highway that would take them into the city, Felicity waits for the dam to break; for her sanity to bend under the weight of the past forty-eight hours, but it doesn't. She tests the bounds of the strange hopefulness in her chest and imagines the imminent invasion of the foundry by Laurel. She could see it so clearly, her safe haven taken away because gorgeous Laurel just has to be trained by Oliver. Becoming even gorgeous-er with the toning and definition that the training would imbue. They would become some kick-ass duo who are crime-fighting vigilantes at night, and a beautiful- sexiful-couple by day.

While Oliver had no problem refusing to train her, he wouldn't deny Laurel anything. Kind of like the speech he delivered, Felicity supposed, to her about not being able to 'be with someone he could really care about.'

Yea-fucking-right. He cared for Sara. Too much, apparently, that it sent her straight back to Nyssa. Unbeknownst to Oliver, he was her rebound, but for him she was his girl-girl.

She pushed the jealousy down. She had no right to be jealous. It was an unneeded use of energy. An illogical reaction. She beat it down viciously. Jealousy was caused by the brain, not the heart. Her brain had never failed her yet, and she refused to accept that it would begin now. No. She could shut of the jealous switch as easily as flipping the lights.

Felicity pokes at her inner-strength and imagines the worst case scenario: her team broken up. Without a family once again. But then she realizes she would never let that happen. Not ever. Any person, thing, or even evil-arch-nemesis, could suck her non-existent dick before that would come to pass.

Whoops, Felicity thought, exhaustion really does bring out the colorful language.

Her silence gains the concern of both her boys, she knows. She can read both of them so easily, not the secrets they safeguard as strongly as their lives, but their emotions and facial features are as to her as reading Java script.

But in this very moment, she was selfish and kept her gaze on the encroaching skyline. Dusk was so stunning in Starling City, and sometimes Felicity was so caught up in the worry and fear of when her guys went out to fight the bad guys, that she forgot how much she loved the nighttime.

Thankfully she has the window seat of the town car allowing her full access to the glittering towers of Westside Starling. Dig pitted himself between her and Oliver in the back, sacrificing his comfort and leg-space to abandon the empty front passenger seat. Giving her breathing room. (Lyla had something to take care of back in A.R.G.U.S and hadn't ridden with them back into the city.)

It must be weird for Dig to be in the back of a car with Oliver, instead of driving him around.

The snort from the opposite window broke Felicity from her thoughts.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

She didn't need anymore of an answer than the amused quirk of Dig's lips.

"But it has to be, right?" Felicity says in defense. She rambles on trying to hide how obviously she was self-conscience, "I can't picture it, in the early days, did you listen to his Queen-ess's orders?" Felicity added a flick of her wrist to emphasize Oliver's mannerism. "'Dig, bring me to my castle.' And then realizing that he disappears like a ninja, or maybe a shadow. Not that Queen manor is a castle, or you know, yours anymore. My God, I can't control the filter when the brain is this tired."

Are you awake? is the text she received from Oliver three hours after arriving home. She had just finished drying her hair when she saw it.

In the shower, before, she scrubbed the grim, sweat, and blood of her body under water too hot to be actually comfortable. She sat in the corner of the shower, under the burning spray, and cried. Not the silent weeping like on the plane to leaving Lian Yu, that was born out of exhaustion and sadness. No. This time she cried not for herself, but for Starling City. For Oliver and Thea. For Dectective Lance. For Shado. For the tragedies she had witnessed, and the carnage that was wrecked on her city. For the body count that was climbing as more of the destruction was unveiled. There was no greatness in war, no glory in the blood that stained the sidewalks. There is only broken souls, and lifeless bodies. But as the tears were finished and the water ran cold, she realized something. She needed to be more. More than who she was before this moment.

When Felicity read the message she was very tempted to not answer, to not confirm that, yes she was awake, because honestly she needed time to process privately. She needed to sleep, and sleep, and be selfish for once. She had just showered and readied for bed. For all she cared, tonight of all nights, Starling could manage without her. But could Oliver?

And he had asked the driver to drop him off at Laurel's apartment building, so what could he possibly need from her, Felicity? There were no computers in sight, no networks to be fixed. She knew she was being unfair and that she was more than just technical support, but she was in an unforgiving mood. An unpleasant, unforgiving mood.

What could he possibly need from her now. She had given all she could. Laid herself bare and vulnerable at a psychopath's feet for him, for the city. She thought she was entitled for a night off.

She always tried to make up her distinct lack of combat skills with other things, namely her technical prowess, but other ways too. She hugged when they returned from mission, tended to wounds when they were hurt. She nurtured their damaged prides when things went badly. She carried her weight within the team in a different way, a much softer way than Dig. If she didn't answer, then she would be letting him down.

She sighed. Yes.

There was a knock on the door.

Her footfalls echoed in the silence of the house.

"I'll make up the futon." No greeting. No awkward small talk. Whatever reason he was here, she would ask in the morning.

Sometimes one of the boys, or both, would stay at her home. An advantage of being on the outskirts of the Glades was that it was in the direct path to and from Queen Consolidated and Verdant. She opened her house early on, enjoying the company of another person, of lack of silence. On the infrequent occasion that either Diggle or Oliver was too exhausted to make the trek back to their respective homes, they stayed here. Oliver less so than Diggle, who kept a change of clothes her place.

"Thank you, Felicity," Oliver mumbles quietly as he worked to help her fit the sheets to futon. She remembers teaching him how to correctly make a bed, laughing as he rolled his eyes at her 'here is how the ninety-nine percent live' poke at the luxury he was accustomed to.

"If you need anything, help yourself. Sleep as well as you can, tomorrow we'll tackle everything, me, you, Dig, Roy. We are going to get through this together." She nods, before retreating to her room, "And always, Oliver. You can always come to me, you know that."

Two for two friends. WOOHOOO. Hopefully this chapter came out alright, I struggled a bit with it to be honest. READ. REVIEW. ENJOY. Onwards to tomorrow!