Of Mortification and Explanations

"So Laurel contested my being ousted-" When Oliver swaggered into the lair in the way that must bring people to their knees Felicity knew that something good finally must have gone his way.

Friendship is the ability to sit by someone and not have to say anything. To be completely comfortable with the silence, and content with the company.

Her and Dig, they had a system set up. It wasn't always that way. In the beginning it was Dig-and-Oliver. Dig and Oliver.

"-the head consolers are being regrouped for a quorum-"

And then it was Dig- Oliver-Felicity. She and Dig where two planets drawn into the gravity of Oliver, unable to resist his pull.

But Felicity wasn't on the same rung as Dig. Dig-Oliver and then Felicity. It wasn't the trinity that it was now. Not yet at least.

"People love a good salvation story-"

Dig and Oliver had a brotherhood forged with blood, and shared secrets. Trust, and honesty. A taciturn understanding of one another of the war they survived and the one that was still raging both on the streets of Starling and within themselves.

"-I should be reinstated within the next month-"

Felicity had no footing within such a dynamic, nothing to relate to. She was unscarred and wholesome. No horrors to escape from. No blood on her ledger.

"-We are still working on regaining the rest of Queen assets-"

And then Oliver left. He gave her direction, stability and friendship. Adventure. He gave her a life that transcended the mediocritythat was her trajectory. Through him, through Arrow, she was extraordinary.

Arrow wasn't Oliver, Arrow was a symbol. It was the good that everyone was capable of. It was uncorrupted and untouchable. When, one day Oliver put the hood down, Arrow would continue.

Oliver gave her place within a legacy to do real good within the world. He gave her a place to belong, be accepted and thrive. He brought her into this, and then left.

As if his leaving wouldn't affect others.

As if his leaving didn't rend an Oliver-shaped whole in their little piece of fabricated reality.

While she lost a friend, Dig lost a brother. Again.

Part of her still doesn't understand the selfishness that Oliver is capable of. Not really. It is a piece of Ollie that survived through the five years stranded. An ugly piece.

But without Oliver keeping them grounded, Dig and Felicity were more lost than initially.

But through the destruction left by Malcolm and Oliver's disappearing act, Dig and Felicity were left with one another to keep each other going.

So they tracked Oliver. She taught him some security tech basics, and he taught her how to rip drywall, and remodel the inside of the Quiver.

They shared meals together.

Stories of their lives before this. She told him about MIT, and how hard she had to work to go their full-ride. About how hard it was growing up with a single-mom.

Felicity watched AJ on the weekends so he and Carly could have date nights.

And in turn she came to their family dinners. He told her about Afghanistan, and before that WestPoint.

He told her about the stupid shit him and his brother would do in the Glades and closely escape getting in trouble for. About how much he missed Andy. How looking at little AJ made him want to fight for the Glades, for Starling, to give AJ a better city than what it was before.

And so a friendship was forged from the clawing depths of loneliness. And of mutual need.

And so there system was set up. Whenever life became to hard, to difficult to breathe they went and sat at the largest dock of Starling City. Watch the ships sail in then watch other disappear into the horizon.

Probably the very dock the Gambit left from so long ago.

Whenever Felicity went, Dig always knew. Always. She couldn't figure out the pattern of how he knew, and to be honest if it was anyone else it would have been creepy.

Felicity created a program to track whenever he was within a mile radius of the dock so that it would alarm in a very specific alarm to notify her. Vibrations of Morse code signaling SOS. The very vibrations going off again her leg within her pocket.

She flinched so noticeably at the second set of alarms that Oliver paused and looked at her with furrowed brows and confused eyes.

"Felicity." She was already gathering her suit jacket, and her tablet. Pushing wayward pens to the bottom of her ridiculously small bag. Seriously, how did she fit anything in there? She felt unhinged. So much for a clandestine sneak out she hoped that he was so into regaling his success that he wouldn't notice her leaving.

Laurel had edged closer to see what was happening, and Roy had stopped beating the dummy rendering the lair silent.

"Fe-li-city."

"Sorry Oliver, I've got to go. Not like go as in go to the bathroom, but like I have somewhere to be. I didn't wanted to rain on the I'm-a-billionaire-parade, but I am running really late and I gave to go-go."

She was frantic. Lying always made her skin itch and her heartbeat sped up. And she had never lied to Oliver before. Well, when she and Dig knocked him out technically that was lying by omission, but it was to keep him from a suicide mission.

Felicity took a moment to breathe, and then smiled at him, "I am really happy that you aren't jobless, and that-"

"It's twelve-thirty at night, where are you going?" Any other night she would have bristled at that tone, but rather than hash out an argument, she just needed to get to where Dig was.

This is what fish feel like when they are caught on dry land. She was floundering. Terribly. She felt heat creeping up her spine and ears. Was the lair exceptionally hot, or was she just a liar. She looked at Roy, help me. Please.

He smirked.

Damnit, Roy. She sent him her stink-eye.

"My er boss is calling me to help smooth some of the finer details of this new product. I can't really say because it would be divulging company secrets, but know that it will be really-"

"Blondie, here," Roy cut in. She was already nodding to whatever excuse he was going to create, " is being called by Mr. Penny-"

"Mr. Pennyworth-" She bounced back. Look at Roy, already understanding the team dynamic. She was so proud of him!

Always help one another out. She was going to bake him cookies as soon as she had the time.

"-For some good ol' sex."

Oh my God. Someone put me out of my misery with one of the arrows. I am going to crash your credit score, Roy. Hack all your accounts and change the passwords. Put you on the no fly list, and then erase you social security number…

The amount of mortification she felt was unparalleled; it was worse then when she had to be escorted out by an ambulance for the pot brownie incident, at her first college party ever. Worse than when she accidently laughed when she saw her first boyfriend naked for the first time. Worse then when she told Oliver she loved having him inside her.

Felicity fled the lair like it was burning, and looking back she couldn't remember a single detail from after Roy had started to speak.

Ho-lee Shit.

If anything the whole ordeal made Dig laugh in that booming way of his. In a way she hadn't seen or heard probably from before Oliver returned.

She and him sat together huddled against the bay's breeze and the world.

Finally of hours of silence, with dawn approaching, he spoke, sounding like he had gravel in his throat.

"Lyla's pregnant, Felicity. She is pregnant, and she doesn't want the baby."

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