A/N: What have we learned so far?...

We now know I speak no Spanish whatsoever and I put far too much trust in a slightly misogynistic Google Translate! You say tomato, I say... tomata? *facepalm* Whatever.

But thank you if you pointed it out. I fear you might do the same with this chapter, since I speak nothing but Northern English-English and a little bit of Hoosier *wink wink*!

p.s. Apologies for the delay. The flu has been successfully kicking my lily white arse.

I hope you like this next bit and thank you for following along.

Chapter Three - Bathroom Break

For no apparent reason, well none that Maura could easily discern anyway, the restaurant was marred by a hideous design feature - split down the middle by a huge partition. The wooden structure hid the main bar and the remaining tables from view as she moved quickly through her section with phone and purse in hand. Simultaneously, the doctor wished two things she never thought she'd wish for on a date; that her designated table had been both situated closer to the bathroom as her ankles were screaming in protest at her haste in choosing four inch heels, and also closer to the bar, permitting her the opportunity to efficiently request and gulp down the strong shot her tattered nerves were demanding.

Three large glasses of water was too much for Jane's bladder to cope with. She figured the absence of her date and her need to call Maura was good enough reason to take a bathroom break.

She swaggered huffily into the ladies room, cursing her outfit choice as the fingers of her left hand gripped and pulled at the hem of her dress, stretching it lower down her thighs. Right hand still clutching tightly to her cellphone, she was in no rush to get back to her companion, and was patiently allowing Maura the five or so minutes she'd promised before calling to check up on her.

Upon entering the ladies room, all the stall doors appeared to be closed. The detective peered closely at the handles to see if there was any indication if they were free or occupied. Suddenly the door immediately in front of her opened with a whoosh of air and she found herself face-to-face with her best friend.

Startled, the brunette slammed both palms against the centre of her chest and jumped back yelling, "FU-crying out loud, Maura!"

Maura's eyes were wide as she gasped, "Oh, Jane!"

Jane was panting dramatically, hands still splayed across her chest, "I think I'm having a heart attack."

Maura rolled her eyes at Jane's theatrics and dismissed her with a hand as she moved past the brunette to the sink basins, "Oh, stop."

Jane's shoulders slumped as she whined and gestured towards the exit, "Well can we at least go get me checked out so I can get out of here?"

Maura turned to her with surprise, "You mean you really did have a date?"

Jane's face fell, "A person could take that the wrong way, y'know."

"What? I -"

Jane's hands were firmly planted on her hips now as she accused, "What? You didn't think I could have a date or you didn't think I was telling the truth?"

Maura tried to formulate a response; both were true in a way but she would never admit it. She let her eyes sweep up and down Jane's body as she scrambled to find a way to deflect. She settled on Jane's hands, where hips were encased in a very flattering, tight, black dress. It couldn't be a real Herve Leger, Jane would never spend that amount of money on such a garment, but it wasn't a bad reproduction. In fact it was perfect for the brunette. The length perfectly showcased Jane's model-like, silky smooth, tan legs…

"Maura!"

"Sorry… I just didn't know you were going to be here."

Jane swept her hands up and down her body, her eyes peered downwards as she searched for whatever had drawn Maura's attention. It wouldn't be the first time she'd spilled something on herself during dinner. "Yeah, well… it's more your kind of place."

The doctor sat her purse on the vanity counter, "It's really not my kind of place. I've had better."

Jane raised an amused eyebrow.

The double meaning registered in Maura's face a second later and she smirked at Jane's baser level humour.

"The food, Jane. I've had much better French cuisine elsewhere."

"You mean it's not just me and my unsophisticated palate that's the problem here?"

The blonde giggled, "Not this time."

"Thank god," Jane sighed. "The food is awful."

"It's no L'Espalier that's for sure."

Jane's eyebrows drew together as she stared wistfully off into the distance, her features softened as she smiled and subtly nodded her head. She whispered reverently, as if remembering a past lover, "Sure. L'Espalier." She'd never heard of it.

Maura's quiet chuckle was adorable and it warmed Jane's heart.

"So who's the lucky guy?" prodded the brunette.

There was a brief pause before Maura found the item she wanted from her purse and replied, "It doesn't matter. I won't be socialising with him again."

Jane was intrigued by Maura's semi-cryptic and deflective response, "Maura."

"Felix Arreola."

"Oh, god!" Jane slapped a hand to her thigh and her mouth hung open, "you're dating Professor Nipples?!"

"How many times…" Maura huffed in annoyance and closed her eyes for a beat. The blonde exaggerated her facial movements in the mirror, watching Jane watch her mouth with a smirk. She pinched the thumb and forefinger of her right hand and gestured with it in true European style, "…his name is notareola, Jane! Two R's… it's pronounced ah-ray-uh-luh." Her Spanish accent was impeccable, she knew, but the importance of inflection was totally wasted on the Italian. She lowered her eyes back to her purse and shook her head, "You're such a child."

Jane bumped shoulders with the younger woman, "Oh, come on! It's funny!" When Maura remained quiet and simply began reapplying her lip-gloss, Jane continued, "If it makes you feel any better, Ma set me up with a man called Baldi."

Maura almost snorted. Her mouth hung open a little as she tried to stop it from turning up at the corners.

Jane nibbled furiously on her lower lip as she braced her hands on the countertop either side of the sink basin. She couldn't contain the tiny squeak that snuck out with a nasal exhale as deep brown locked with golden hazel in the mirror.

Maura, with her lip gloss still in hand, watched Jane clamp her lips tightly together. She watched as Jane squeezed them further, turning them inward, bringing out the deep dimples in her cheeks, "Does he… I mean… how much -"

Jane shook her head wildly, rushing the words out with a single, large exhale, "Not-a-solitary-hair-on-his-head, Maura. I swear to God."

Both women collapsed against the vanity unit in fits of giggles.

"Oh god, I needed that," Maura blurted breathlessly as she rubbed an index finger under each eye to wipe away any stray mascara.

Maura straightened out her dress, running her hands down the front to smooth the fabric, before raising her arms and doing the same to the thick waves of her hair. She leaned closer to the mirror, giving her make up another once over and spoke softly to herself in practiced Italian, "Il riso fa buon sangue."

Jane bowed her head to hide a brief smile. For several beats there was no sound, only comfortable silence. Maura was putting the last of her things back into her purse as Jane turned to her with a serious look. She inhaled deeply and her gaze fell to the floor before her low, husky tones halted Maura's movements, "La tua risata è come la bella musica."

In the silence that followed, as Maura suddenly became aware of her own pulse and her eyes searched out Jane's, two clamorous male voices could be clearly heard through the wall to the adjacent men's room.

Maura's nose wrinkled as she recognised one of the voices.

"UGH, GODDAMN WOMEN!" Felix growled as he slammed his fist down on the vanity counter. "I just don't get it… she was all over me when we got here. All. Over Me. And then she starts ignoring me… I mean, not even halfway through dinner and it's like she doesn't even want to be there!" He shook his head, holding his own bewildered gaze in the mirror.

Nick was washing his hands vigorously at the next basin, "Bad date, huh?"

"Women these days… they're crazy, I'm telling you."

"Oh, you don't have to tell me, pal. This girl I'm with, she's scary. Look at her the wrong way and you're liable to get your balls blown off!"

Felix let out a full-bellied laugh, "Aw man, you gotta toughen up. Show 'em who's boss."

Nick was aghast, "I'm not joking, man! She has a gun!"

Felix wasn't deterred from his grand-standing, looming tall over the diminutive and average-looking baker, "Gun or no gun, women don't really like to be independent, trust me."

"Heh. Trust me, you got it easy if she's a quiet one. This girl would not… stop… talking. Work, work, doctor, work, suspect, work, doctor. God!"

"Well, shit, if I could get my woman to talk more about work I might get somewhere. But no – she's all 'tell me about you' and 'oh what a sexy accent you have'. It's like they don't wanna just get off any more."

"Well, keep at it, pal. You never know. If dessert goes well she might come around."

"I don't know what I did wrong, to be honest."

Nick chuckled and shook his head, "Don't ask me, man."

"It's such a shame 'cos she's gorgeous… a bit weird… but she's loaded! She'd be a great asset for my research foundation fundraisers -"

"You should see my girl…" Nick whistled. "You could put her on the front of any magazine, I'm not kidding. But crazy and scary trumps gorgeous any day. I ain't letting a friend of a friend of my aunt set me up again anytime soon!"

Instantly Maura's eyes followed the movement of Jane's left hand to her hip. It was instinctive for the detective, to be prepared for anything, but there was no holster to be found and she watched panic flick across the brunette's brow before it was hidden a second later. The blonde tracked the change in every one of the brunette's muscles, from relaxed to rigid, tension infiltrating her from scalp to toe. She watched Jane transform seamlessly, from friend to protector, and all it took was a single raised voice.

When the second voice spoke, Maura watched that edginess seep subtly from her friend's posture to be replaced with something else. Wonder. Curiosity.

The brunette's brows were drawn together as they listened in silence, her head quirked to the side as she registered some of her date's words.

Maura was emotionless on the outside, a swirl of disappointment and embarrassment on the inside. She fought valiantly against the colour that quickly rose across her cheeks, turning her eyes to the floor and clearing her throat against a demure fist.

She thought for a second that her miniscule reaction to the clamour next door had escaped her friend's attention but as she looked back up and met Jane's steely gaze she was corrected.

A myriad of emotions rolled across her friend's face, one after the other, settling only for a split second before being replaced – sympathy, fear, compassion, anxiety, and anger. The latter settled and remained, sparking a flutter in Maura's stomach that made her feel slightly nauseous.

Jane's eyes continued to burn but when she spoke it wasn't the growl Maura expected. Softly, almost apologetically, gesturing towards the mirror on the wall, she asked, "Is that him?" Her gaze held, asking silent questions that Maura would swear she could hear just as clearly. That shallow, gold-digging, chauvinistic, passive-aggressive asshole that just called my best friend a weirdo is your date?

Maura wanted the floor to open up and swallow her. She physically shrunk into herself as she whispered, "Yes."

Jane grabbed Maura's wrist and pulled her firmly towards the exit.

"Jane, don't -"

They came to a stop outside the restroom and the door swung shut behind them with a clatter. "Don't what, Maura?"

The blonde was at a loss for words but her eyes made an impassioned plea. Please don't make me beg, please don't make a scene, just get me out of here.

Jane breathed deeply and squeezed her eyes closed for a moment. She fought valiantly against the anger that threatened to overflow and spill out onto her friend. She didn't deserve that. She released her grip on Maura's wrist, rubbed the jutting bone with her thumb to soothe the sting she no doubt caused on the younger woman's skin, before letting their fingers interlink in a gentle hand hold.

Just as she was motioning for the two of them to move back into the restaurant the door to the men's room swung open.

Nick's entire body was a picture definition of shock and awe as he froze on the spot. Felix swallowed the tail end of a chuckle, coughing quietly as he too came to an abrupt halt, face-to-face with the lanky brunette. Nick ducked his chin and took a half step back as Jane squared her shoulders and stuck out her right hand.

The detective's eyes flicked over to her friend momentarily as the blonde gave a sharp tug to their still-joined hands. With a quick shake of her head she dismissed the doctor's plea to retreat. She smiled broadly at the man who, despite being a right royal douchebag, could have easily been mistaken for her brother.

"Dr. Nipples, I presume."

Italian Translations:

Il riso fa buon sangue - Laughter is the best medicine

La tua risata è come la bella musica – Your laughter is like beautiful music