A/N: It's been ages since the last update and I'd love to apologise for that, but after completing several work projects I managed to find time to spend in the US with the love of my life and for that I'm totally not sorry. Anyway, enjoy a little Protective!Jane as a thank you for your patience.
Chapter Four – Dessert
Felix's hand rose on automatic pilot to meet Jane's. He winced inwardly at her death-grip handshake before clearing his throat, "I'm sorry, and you are…?"
Jane's smile fell from her face in a nanosecond, "Rizzoli. Detective Jane Rizzoli."
Felix raised an eyebrow in Maura's direction, causing the blonde to swallow nervously, before turning back to the brunette. "Oh." What the fuck is shedoing here? "Well, I sincerely hope you're not here on official business."
Oh sure, I always go on official business looking like I've just stepped off a Paris runway! Jane frowned and glanced down at her attire, gesturing her free hand like 'really?' as Felix continued.
The professor looked pointedly towards the doctor, "It wouldn't serve you well to leave in the middle of dinner, Maura."
Maura opened her mouth to speak but Jane beat her to it. Incredulously she asked, "What did you just say -?"
Nick muscled a shoulder past Felix, inserting himself into the awkward tension. Proudly he declared, "No, no, she's here on a date. That's my date."
Maura pressed her fingers to her mouth to stifle a smile. Bless his little cotton socks. Even if she liked to reserve judgment for more than just a person's appearance it did seem that he was… what metaphor would be Jane-appropriate here? Batting out of his league?
Jane turned to Nick and pointed an index finger near his face, "I'll get to you in just a second, Danny DeVito." Turning back to Felix she gripped and pulled Maura's hand so fiercely it caused the blonde to lurch, side-stepping and bumping Jane's hip. The brunette practically growled, "Now listen here - this is official business; official best friend business. And you just ruined the best date of your life, buddy."
Felix sputtered - he'd never been spoken to by a woman this way before.
"You -" She pointed back at Nick, "You've got a goddamn nerve."
Nick cowered, shrinking backwards and standing partially behind Felix.
"Making jokes about a woman make you feel big, huh?" She released Maura's hand in order to gesture with both of hers, wiggling her fingers in the air in front of her face. "Ooh, the scary woman with a gun might blow your balls off…" She teased with a wry smile before turning serious again a split second later, "Grow up! If you think any officer of the law takes pulling out their weapon lightly you need a serious reality check. I wouldn't waste a bullet on either of your sorry asses."
Felix was affronted and took a step forward, "Now, listen, this is no way to behave in public -"
Jane stood almost nose-to-nose with the professor, "No, you listen. You lost the right to talk about public decency the second you started talking shit about my girl in a bathroom with paper-thin walls."
Felix's face said everything. His eyebrows rose as the penny dropped, "Oh…"
Jane quirked her head to the side, pleased that he was smart enough to follow along, "Yeah, oh." She let that sink in for a moment; let him squirm as he frantically tried to recall everything they might have heard and whether or not he had any chance of resuscitating his date. "Now, Maura won't tell someone they're a douchebag because she's impossibly polite. She'd probably even sit through the rest of dinner feeling uncomfortable because she's a saint. I, thankfully, don't suffer from that particular affliction, so take this as your only warning," She leaned in further, breathing on his face. "You contact her in anything other than a professional capacity from here on out, you talk to her in anything other than a perfectly polite and respectful manner and I will personally haul your ass straight over to Fraud and have them check every transaction that ever went through your foundation. Understood?"
Felix nodded meekly - his focus pinned on the ground. He was caught and he knew it.
Nick wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. He was rubbing furiously at the back of his neck, sure that he was in Jane's sights and next to receive a tongue-lashing. The wait was torture.
When Jane did turn her attention back to the baker she was quietly fuming.
Maura reached for the detective's hand once again and murmured, "Jane." It was a request. One word that only the brunette could hear said numerous things. You've done enough. It's all right. Go easy on him.
"Nick… uh -" The brunette breathed in deeply and let it out slowly, trying to calm her heart rate. "You really tried, you did. I'm sure you're a nice guy on the inside. But you're not the guy for me and I'm certainly not the girl for you." She waved a dismissive hand in the space between them before latching an arm around Maura's waist. "You need to grow a pair and… like, I dunno, marry Betty Crocker or something."
Nick's nervousness came out as a trembling snicker, "Hehe, Betty Crocker, good one." But his relief at avoiding Jane's verbal firing squad was obvious as he fished a handkerchief from his trouser pocket and dabbed at his clammy brow.
Standing up tall and being as ladylike as she could manage Jane smiled sweetly, "Now, if you'll excuse us, my friend and I are going to take our leave. You'll be fine picking up the cheques, won't you, gentlemen?" It wasn't really a question; her inflection made it very clear that they should not even think of asking the two women to go dutch.
The detective leaned down to whisper in Maura's ear, "I… er, I gotta go grab my coat." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder, indicating the vague vicinity of her table. Her expression was soft and apologetic. Suddenly she was filled with regret; had she overstepped? Would Maura be pissed at how she handled things? Did Maura even want to leave her date? She acted without much forethought and now she panicked.
But Maura smiled sweetly, her eyes twinkling, and whispered in return before walking away. "I'll meet you at the door."
When Jane turned back around Nick had vanished, clearly the man was smart enough to take his leave when the opportunity had arisen. But Felix stood unmoving, his arms crossed over his chest.
He was a good-looking guy. She wasn't too proud to admit it; she could see exactly the traits that would attract a beautiful and successful woman like her best friend. She wasn't sorry they'd discovered his true nature in this odd and unconventional manner, not that there was ever anything conventional about finding out that a guy was a total creep. It was much better to find out now rather than later when… he could have, gah, she didn't want to even think about the possibilities.
Felix scoffed, "Why am I not surprised she's going to go with you? I knew there was something wrong with her."
Jane had to practically bite her fist to stop her flinging it into the professor's chiselled fucking face.
The feeling that he simply wasn't worth an assault charge made her laugh and he screwed his face up in confusion.
"Here's the thing, Mr. Boob… there is nothing wrong with her. Nothing. She's perfect. It's you who's the jerk. Now I'm gonna take her home 'cos she's done wasting her time on you and I'm done talking to you."
Jane turned around to find Maura standing behind her holding her coat. "Nick asked me to give this to you."
Jane sheepishly swiped at her nose wondering how much Maura had heard. "Thanks. You ready to go?"
Maura nodded, "Mm-hm."
Felix reached out to touch Maura's wrist as Jane donned her coat, "Wait, Maura, I'm sorry. Let's -"
"No," she snapped, taking up Jane's hand once more and giving her a shy wink. She turned back to him as she pulled on the brunette's hand and started to move towards the exit, "Let's not. Like she said, we're done. Come on, Jane."
When they reached the sidewalk out in front of the restaurant it was still pouring with rain. Jane shuddered and flicked up her coat collar as Maura stopped and covered the pair with her umbrella.
"Now what?" Maura enquired.
Evidently she wasn't upset about Jane's interference but now the pressure was on for the detective to prove that being with her best friend was infinitely better than eating crummy food with a two-faced tool.
Jane turned to Maura. They were standing close together, sheltering under the one-person umbrella. "Do you want me to take you home?"
"Yes," Maura replied without missing a beat. Then after a pause, she added, "Eventually."
Jane beamed. "Okay, let's go." She held Maura's hand and turned to walk down the street towards the parking lot where she'd left her Crown Vic.
Maura trotted along, trying to keep up with Jane's longer stride, "Where are we going?"
"To get dessert."