So first of all I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm just kind of stuck with how I should continue and second; I don't know a lot about PTSD but I tried the best I could. I hope you like it and tell me if you have idea's for other stories. I basically write everything.
Stef told me and the kids to sit down. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I was still in fear, but for what? The man is dead. Stef explained the situation to the kids but I barely heard it. "So you could have died today?" I heard one of the kids ask. I could have died. Stef could have died. We would have left our kids alone on this world. Not being able to see them grow older.
From that moment on my body didn't know how to react, like it had shut down. My face went emotionless and my body didn't move. I could feel the color draining from my face as I stared wide-eyed at something no one else could see. I completly freezed.
As soon as Stef realized what was going on with me, all her attention was focused on me. She shook my shoulder, stared into my eyes and yelled at me, but I couldn't hear her. I realized I had stopped breathing. That I had closed my mouth. I knew I had to open it but my body wouldn't do it. Stef opened my mouth and I gasped. Welcoming the air into my lungs. After a while I could feel my body would do as I said again. Stef placed her hand on my arm but I backed off. I couldn't trust anyone. I wasn't save, not yet. As Stef took a step towards me I took a step back. I could see in her eyes that I hurt her but this was the only way. I wasn't save. I curled up and hugged my knees. After Stef told the kids to go upstairs she came towards me. I was Already in the corner so I couldn't take a step back, although I wish I could have gone through the wall. Stef kneeled next to me. "You're safe, I'm not going to hurt you, Lena." she said almost begging. Tears formed in her eyes. I had never seen Stef cry. She wanted to put her arm around me and I couldn't help but shiver. She then walked over to the phone. I knew she was going to call the doctor.
When the doctor arrived he did some tests but all I wanted was to be left alone. "She has ptsd." Was all I heard before he left.
"Lena, baby, can I help you upstairs to the bedroom?" I saw Stef's hand and looked into her begging eyes. "Lena you're safe. I promise nothing will happen to you." I placed my hand slowly in hers and she helped me upstairs in our bed. She kissed my forehead and I let her but I did not react. "I'm gonna sleep right here, if you need me I'm here." I saw Stef pointing to a chair in the corner. I still didn't react. After a while I fell asleep because I was too exhausted to be awake. In the middle of the night I felt two hands on my shoulder and I heard someone yell my name. It was Stef. My cheeck felt wet and I realized I was crying. Before I remember where I was and that I didn't trust anything or anyone, Stef pulled me in a hug. It felt so safe. It felt like home. I slowly put my hands around her and burried my face into her shirt. That smell, it was one of the many things I love about Stef. She smells safe, like home. When she pulled away she took my head between her hands. We stared into each others eyes. "Please. Lena please. Say something." I could hear Stef say. She was almost crying.
I tried to talk but I just couldn't. I hugged my knees again and Stef sat on the bed next to me. Looking towards her feet. I felt sorry for her so I slowly moved my hand to hers and squeezed it. She looked at me and I could see a bit of happiness in her eyes. I knew what I did was a start. Even though there was a long road ahead. We sat like that for several minutes until she told me to go to sleep again. I was scared of my dreams but I fell asleep anyways. That morning when I woke up I saw Stef still asleep on the chair. I saw her waking up. She looked at me and told me she was going to get us some food. One way or another the kids helped themselves this morning and went to school without waking us.
Apperantly I had fallen asleep because when I woke up I saw Stef sitting on her side of the bed, staring out the window. "Hey, I have breakfast if you're hungry." She said when she noticed I was awake.
After breakfast she helped me towards the shower. I tried to wash away that man's hand on my body and I didn't even know I had been crying. I broke down and hugged my knees. I heard Stef turn off the shower and put a towel around me. She kneeled down next to me and she pulled me in a hug. After a few minutes of crying I stopped and I whispered in her ear; "I love you". She pulled away from and looked at me. She looked like she wasn't sure if I had just said that or if she had imagined it. I gave her a small smile. "I love you too" I heard her say.