Chapter 8(B):

(continuation of last chapter)

But no.

His mind refused. Shizuo stared as he continued taking deep breaths, wondering what the information broker might want to say that made him put so much thought into it before he speaks. It was so unlike him – he always never seemed to have a need to think before speaking; he was always having that shitty smirk on his face, spouting any shit he feels like. But what does he want to say now? His expression… What's he trying to tell me?

On the other hand, Izaya was fighting his own battle – a battle of dominance between his want and better judgment of his mind. He was dying inside to have his position restored. He never wanted to show his weak side to his dear Shizu-chan, neither he is going to tell him the truth he had been hiding in his heart for so many years. But if he doesn't tell him right now, he knows that he would be replaced.

Once Shizu-chan leaves this country, he wouldn't need of me. There is no way that he would miss me. He would be happy his life is finally peaceful –wince- without me… And after that, he may not even… r-return. And daresay… to me… I can't let him have the taste of that sort of life… I just can't…!

These were the thoughts that were clouding his super genius brain, making him tremble at the thought of the loss of the man who was standing at a few feet distance from him. Shizuo Heiwajima, the man, no, the monster he claimed to hate his whole life.

But even if you tell him, what would change? He won't accept your feelings. For all I know, he's not gay, he's straight! Do you want rejection? On the very day when you are so torn from the fact that he would be leaving the country?

His mind had fought back with such strong reasons, Izaya as well knew that all the reasoning his mind was doing against his desires was fair.

And that made him favor what his mind was offering.

Yes, he was afraid of rejection, at least this rejection. From this certain person, on this certain day.

So he finally looked up.

"Shi…" He cleared his throat, "Shizu-chan…"

"Oi Izaya. Whats wrong? Are you okay?"

Izaya blinked in panic, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

"A-ah! What are you saying, Shizu-chan? I am perfectly fi-"

His words were strangled and his thought process just came to a halt as he felt the touch of a strong hand on his cheek near his eyes.

"Are you… crying?" asked Shizuo, his hand sliding over the wet eyes of the informant, staring slightly wide-eyed in surprise.

And Izaya couldn't help it anymore. The barrier broke and his emotion flooded out. Slapping Shizuo's hand away, he took a few steps back, eyes wide in shock and misery. He couldn't even stand straight anymore. His heart was throbbing so fast, and he could feel his body trembling, his legs were suddenly gave in and before he knew it, he was on his knees.

"A-am I cr-crying?" he said in disbelief through his quivering lips.

Just as his own hand felt the wetness streaming down his cheeks, he couldn't believe at the one who had written his fate like this. How could this happen to him? He had no idea. He always thought of himself as God, who controlled all – not vice versa! He was supposed to always be in control, yet why could he let this get out of hand? Why did he let his emotions get out of hand? Why his heart is so afraid that it makes his whole body tremble and tears roll down his cheek? Why is he so scared of being rejected?

Is there someone above him who controls even Orihara Izaya's strings?

But alas, even his genius mind is too confused to even understand the question in the first place.

"Izaya…?"

Shizuo's voice brought him back, he looked in his direction. Shizuo was coming toward him, his hand outstretched, intended to help him stand.

He felt a strange power returning to his feet, the pang in his chest increasing and the trembling elevating as well. For a moment he felt like the whole world was quivering, his vision was suddenly just as fuzzy as his current state of mind. The strength returned and he was on his feet, slapping the helping hand of the blonde once again, and making a sprint in the opposite direction.

"OI! IZAYA! WAIT!" yelled Shizuo

But as the newly found strength grew, his trembling also increased, and then he realized it was fear.

The same fear, the fear of rejection and loss that was making him run, that was giving this strange strength to his whole body to run far out of the reach of the only person he has ever came to love.

"IZAYAAAA!"

He could hear the voice of the Monster of Ikebukuro calling out his name, his ragged breathing hinting that he was running too, but there is no way he is going to let him see his teary face.

Damn it!

Stop, you shitty tears just stop.

But they didn't.

People turned and witnessed the duo's chase. But their eyes instead of being filled with fear, they were filled with curiosity and with a hint of unease. For what they were seeing today was a once in a million year sight. As the man who is involved in 99% of the wrong shit happening in the city, who was entertained, and even make fun at people for their misery – was in tears, and the other man, who always glared at him and sworn and had tried to kill him countless times, was wide-eyed with anxiety and worry, calling his name not as a battle cry, but as a normal person trying to beckon another.

And then Izaya knew it was once again time to fool the monster of Ikebukuro and escape this chase before things go even more out of hand.

Okay so i changed it, Thanks to BlazeTakishima once again for helping me out ^^;