Author: Feather (Flightf)
Warnings: Spoilers all the way through Twelve Sharp.
Disclaimers: I own nothing…JE owns it all….I will return everything when I am finished
Rating (K-M) M (for language)
A/N: This was a challenge sent by the Twelve Sharp group. 'Ranger in the hospital of any point of view.' This is 8th in a series of 12. Thanks to everyone who gave me feedback…it is always appreciated.
Also a very HUGE thank you to Melle who has been acting as my editor extraordinaire. Without her my story would be full of creative grammar and would consist of the never-ending sentence. I think that I am trying to set the record for the most use of "and", "but", "or" and of course just the plain commasJ in one sentence.
MagnificentSin…..I salute you! Thanks for being my second set of eyes. I really appreciate your tough love J
Dr Phil says that on any given day you should be able to identify 10 defining moments, seven critical choices and five pivotal people that shape you into the person that you are today. (I wouldn't know this crap but my crazy old bat of a mother in law won't miss a damn episode) I can honestly say that my daughter Stephanie has a place in all 3 categories.
The day that she was born was the day that I truly became a father. Valerie is two years older but I was in the army when she was born. I was busy being a solider instead of a father. The day that Stephanie was born; the air was unusually warm for October, and the sky was clear and crystal blue. When they handed me my second daughter my eyes saw the world in a whole new light. I became a father in act not just in name that day. Hands down it was one of the scariest days of my life.
As a father I'm not proud of all my choices. While growing up, my mother primarily raised the children. She made almost all the choices and my father backed her up when needed. As us boys got older he would step in and show us how to be men but with the girls he stayed in the back seat and deferred to my mother. I choose this same path and I can tell you that it is one of my most critical choices and not my best one. It has defined everything in my life, from how people see me, to how my marriage works, and of course the kind of father that I have been to my daughters. I can't count how many times I have sat at my dinning room table listening to my wife berate my children. I know that she means well, she loves them and wants them to be happy but she cannot understand that they might not want the life that she has. I love my daughters and I can see that they are two beautiful women that have completely different wants and needs. But still, I have put my head down and shoveled food in my mouth pretending that I didn't hear what was going on around me. I'm not sure who has failed more, Ellen for not supporting our children's decisions and pointing out every flaw or me for taking a passive role in our family.
Watching Stephanie grow into the women that she is today has been a roller coaster ride. When she was a baby it was the step climb up the peek, then when she hit toddler hood we started down the hill flying at full speed. With her school-age years we were in the crazy turns one minute she was an angel the next she was trying to fly off the roof. The teenage years were the small loop, the one that when you were finally through it you thought aw that wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. College and her marriage to the Dick you are climbing another hill. The ride is so deceptive that you think that you are getting close to the end of the ride. Then the car levels out for a brief second and you are flying down the hill, you are going so fast that you can't see what is ahead of you, was what the divorce and her job as a lingerie buyer felt like. Then you come to where we are now, we are in the series of loops each one bigger than the last. You think whew that was a wild ride, I'm ready for the long straight away, but all that comes is a bigger loop. With a daughter like Stephanie, it's a damn good thing that the roller coaster is my favorite ride of all time.
I have a ritual that I go through on the ride to the hospital. I hold Ellen's hand giving her the comfort that she needs. I tell her that Stephanie always lands on her feet. I remind her of the times that Stephanie has amazed us with her ability to bounce back. While I'm saying these things to my wife in my mind I'm preparing myself for the worst. Hoping that today wasn't the day when the doctor meet us at the door and ushered us into the little room with the mauve walls that they only use to tell people bad news. I go through these mental games all the while knowing that I'm never going to be ready to hear those words.
Pulling into the parking lot ends my mental Olympics and the dread sets in. I direct my wife towards the door with my hand on her lower back, with the voice in my head screaming at me to turn around and run. As we approach the door automatically slide open and the stale hospital air slaps you in the face. My body is on autopilot steering me towards the front desk. I approached the receptionist and inquired about Stephanie Plum, she directed us to 2nd floor waiting room. Stepping off the elevator we walked over to the waiting room and I could finally breathe again. I turn around and my eyes scanned the room for Stephanie.
She was sitting next to Morelli. He turned out to be a better man than I would have ever predicted. I think he might be the first decent male from that gene pool. He was a good man but he just didn't understand Stephanie. He couldn't see what a truly unique and special women that she was. He wanted her to be his mother and that is never going to happen. I'm not saying that Stephanie couldn't fill the roll of a wife and mother, she could and I hoped someday she would. When she decided to take on that roll she would do it in a way that the Burg would never understand. Her husband will have to be strong and patient enough to see that she won't be a traditional wife and mother but she will be an exceptional one.
Ellen and I walked over to them, Joseph stood up and took my hand to shake it and kissed Ellen's cheek.
"Ellen. Frank," he said.
After shaking his hand, I immediately pulled my little girl into my arms. I could feel all the fear and sadness radiating out of her body. I tried to absorb it all; I wanted to take it all in. I poured all the strength and love that I could muster into that hug. I could feel her silent tears soaking my shoulder but my girl was keeping it together. When she pulled away, she had a little bit more color but her eyes were still haunted.
"Thanks Daddy," she whispered with a wobbly smile.
I directed Ellen to some chairs in the corner of the room. We sat down and waited. We waited for our daughter to look like the women we know. We waited for news about the man who has saved our daughters life too many times to count.
Ranger is a mystery to me. He has been to our house for dinner once when Stephanie first started bounty hunting. At that time he was dressed like a street thug. It was a typical Plum dinner. I tried to ignore everyone. If I knew then how big of a part of Stephanie's life he was to become, I might have asked more questions, paid a little more attention or maybe just talked to the man. Instead, I have to settle for listening to the gossip and seeing him in passing. It's strange that I barely know this man… hell until last week I didn't even know his given name all I knew was Ranger, but I feel more comfortable when Stephanie calls and says that she is with him because I know that he will move heaven and earth to save our little girl. To a father this means everything.
When they finally moved Ranger into the ICU room, I leaned over to Ellen.
"Ellen, why don't we head home? There is nothing more we can do here and Stephanie is getting ready to go in to see Ranger." Ellen walked over to where my mother in law sat and talked with her in low tones. When she returned we walked over to Stephanie. I slightly watched her interaction with Morelli and I knew that my baby wasn't happy. When she was a little girl I could just kiss the pain away or maybe a trip to the Dairy Queen but what does a father do when his grown daughter is lost? After Ellen hugged Stephanie good-bye, I took Stephanie into my arms and gave her a fierce hug.
I whispered into her ear where nobody else but us could hear "Stephanie, I know that I don't express this enough but I am proud of the women that you have become. You do what you need to do to be happy and everything else will fall into place. Call us if you need anything."
I released her from my hug, but I couldn't take my hands off of her. I felt like I did the day that she was born. I was uncertain of my next step. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears, and it was all I could do not to tell her that everything was going to be okay; because she was fighting an inner battle that no one could take away her fear. I was looking at my daughter the women, but I could still see the mischievous little girl she had been. I could see the problem weighing heavily on her; only time would tell how she found the answers.