Chapter 3
I don't own PLL
A/N You finally get a Spencers pov in this chapter :) (P.s everything will be in Arias pov unless it says the pov has switched)
I searched all around the school looking for Noel. But couldn't find him anyway. Not at his locker, not in the courtyard, not in the library, not in the gym, not fucking anywhere! It was 8:20 now, and I would have to start heading to first period. I sighed. Well I'll have to see him in music I guess. I told myself and started walking back to my locker to get my books. People were calling me 'slut' and 'whore' almost all morning and it was making want to explode. All these judgement stares. I don't even get what the big deal was. So what, I slept with Noel, I'm sure almost everyone in this hell hole has had sex before so why was it such a huge deal that I did with Noel Kahn.
I walked up to my locker and got my books. As I closed my locker though, a familiar face stood there. Looking between a strong mix of hurt and anger. "You slept with Noel" She spat. I looked up into those beautiful brown eyes of hers, but they were glossy and I could tell she had been holding back tears. She really was jealous. Really jealous. I felt guilty. Even though I know I shouldn't, she broke up with me, I did nothing wrong.
"Yes" I said calmly. "W-Why?" She asked her voice cracking slightly. As I looked at her, I could see her whole body tense, and her fists balled up at her sides. "We were working on a duet for music class together, he kissed me, I let him, and I don't know…it just kinda went from there" I spoke softly. Looking down. I didn't want to stare into her hurt, judgemental eyes any longer. It hurt to much.
"How could you" She asked anger coming back. "Spencer, you're the one who broke up with me remember? I did nothing wrong" I said, now feeling angry myself. How could Spencer seriously ask that. I can understand her being hurt, and jealous too. But she can't feel betrayed. I didn't betray her. Were not together.
"Yeah, but while I've just been sad and missing you, you've been going around sleeping with people!" She argued back. "Person" I corrected. "I slept with one fucking guy, because these past two weeks have been hell for me! You have been completing ignoring me when you said you still wanted to be friends! And my family has been absolute shit! And I don't have any friends anymore! And lets not forget the fact that my ex-boyfriend who was stalking us for 3 years just died a month ago! You're not the only one with problems, Spencer." I spoke. Finally letting all my anger from the past month out. Spencers face quickly changed. Her angry expression changed to a more concerned, sad one. "Im-Im sorry Aria, you're right. Im sorry" She stepped closer attempting to grab my hand. I stepped back. "No Spencer, you don't get to just grab my hand, and tell me your sorry, and be the hero. Not this time. You hurt me Spencer. And I know I hurt you too, but I wanted to fix my mistakes, and you didn't even give me a chance. You just gave up on us. You broke me, Spencer" I said not once making eye contact with her.
After that I walked away from Spencer. Away from the girl I loved. She didn't get to be the hero. Not this time. I kept telling myself Because as much as I wanted to turn around and jump into her arms, and kiss her, and let her love me again, I couldn't. We were broken. Both of us. And we couldn't be fixed. So I kept walking and when I didn't hear foot steps following me, I didn't know if I was glad, or disappointed.
Spencers pov
"You Broke Me, Spencer" She spoke, before walking away. My heart broke while hearing that. I wanted to follow her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, ask her, no, beg her to give me another chance. Beg her to let me make this right. Beg her to let me fix her. Fix us. Fix what I broke. But my legs were frozen. I couldn't run to her. I couldn't make this better. I screwed up. Really fucking badly. It was going to take a lot more then one simple act of kindness to make it up to her.
I forgot how messed up her life was right now. She wasn't just dealing with the break-up like I was. She was dealing with a boat-load of crap, that I had completely forgotten about. These past two weeks and the thought of Ezra Fitz hadn't even crossed my mind. That obviously wasn't the same case for her. Two weeks and I had forgotten about her shit family issues, I hadn't even wondered if it was getting better or worse. And two fucking weeks and I hadn't even thought about what the effects of me avoiding her could have done to her. I know that it hurt me. Not seeing her, not talking to her. But I forgot all about how it might be making her feel.
No wonder she hates me. No wonder she doesn't want me. Ive been selfish. I shouldn't have gotten so angry when i heard about her and Noel. She was right! I broke up with her! I had no right to be angry about her and Noel.
I love her so much. Yet, I haven't even thought about her feelings for two weeks straight, and now I'm starting to hate myself too. I can't loose her. Shes my everything. I need her. I had to win her back. No matter how hard it was going to be, no matter how many road bumps we hit along the way, I was willing to fight for her. So thats exactly what I was going to do. Im ready to love Aria Montgomery the way I should have loved her all along.
Arias pov
"Fuck you Noel Kahn!" I shouted as I entered the music room and spotted Noel. "Whoa Aria, calm down" He said stepping closer to me. "Calm down!? Are you serious!" We attracted the attention of the students who were in the music room and Noel quickly grabbed my arm pulling me into the hallway. "Aria I'm sorry ok! I only told a couple of guys, I swear I didn't mean for it to go this far." Noel told me. "Well it did! And now the whole fucking school thinks I'm some stupid slut!" I shouted at him angrily. "Listen I didn't know the guys were going to spin the whole thing, I just-" Once again I found myself cutting Noel off. "What?" I asked. He furrowed his brows. "Do you not know?" He asked. "Know what!" I yelled frustrated. "Aria, uh, people kinda think you..um.. forced yourself on me" Noel spoke quietly. "They what!" I asked Practically fuming now. "I didn't say that! I swear Aira! Its just the guys, they completely changed the story" Noel said taking a step back from me, only to have me step closer. "I cannot believe you! Now the whole school thinks I'm a desperate stupid slut!" I said, getting so mad I wanted to just hit him. "Well you were kinda desperate" Noel mumbled. I widen my eyes. "I can't believe you!" I shouted as I started hitting his chest repeatedly. "You're such a jerk!" I continued. "Ow! Aria stop!" He tried telling me, and grabbing my hands. But I couldn't stop, I was losing control, and I felt that familiar rush of panic take over me. I was having an anxiety attack.
Spencers pov
I needed to find a way to win Aria back. But I couldn't think of anything. Im pretty sure she doesn't even want to talk to me, let alone be with me again. But I had to think of something. I knew I could get Aria to love me again. It would just take time.
I was making my way to my next class and as I made it to the hallway, I saw a familiar pair. Aria and Noel stood outside the music room. Clearly in an argument. Aria had started hitting Noel's chest, and I couldn't help the smug grin that came to my face. He deserved it. "Ow! Aria Stop!" I heard Noel say as he tried to push Aria's hands off of him.
Aria continued to hit his chest however, and then all the other signs started showing up and I knew what was happening. The fitting, the heavy breathing, her eyes being shut tightly. Aria was having a panic attack.
Aria had always had anxiety issues for as long as I could remember. And when we were together, after everything happened with Ezra, and her parents started fighting she got panic attacks a lot. I was able to help her through them though. And I knew I had to do the same thing now.
I rushed up to the couple and immediately wrapped one arm around Arias waist, while the one tried to contain her hands. "Hey, hey, Aria stop, stop, you're ok, I promise you're ok, alright?" I told her holding her tightly, not allowing her to squirm out of my grasp as much as she was trying to. "Is she ok" Noel then asked. I sighed. "Can you tell the teacher that Aria went home early?" I asked him. "Uh yeah" Noel spoke before disappearing back into the classroom. "Aria hun, your ok" I told Aria, now wrapping both my arms around her, and letting her arms fall to her sides. "S-Spe-Spencer" She stuttered out while trying to take shaky, un-even breaths.
"Shh, its ok Aria, its ok" I said again, trying to sooth her. "Im here" I said. Aria fell into my arms, laying her head against my chest. She was crying now, and it took everything in me not lean down and kiss her. Kiss all her pain away. But I couldn't because, her letting me hold her right now, was progress. And I couldn't screw up this little bit of progress by kissing her and her hating me more. So I settled on trying to hug away her pain instead. "Let me take you home" I softly whispered in her ear. She nodded against me. "Come on" I said pulling back slightly but still keeping an arm wrapped around her as I began leading her to the school parking lot.
She calmed down a little, but her tears were still falling, and her breaths were still shaky. I tried to count the times her chest rose and fell, but it never did. I made it outside with her and walked her to my car.
"Aria you're ok, I'm going to take you home, and everything is going to be fine" I told her once we reached my car. Arias eyes widen as it looked like she had a realization. I saw panic fill her eyes once again. "Aria whats wrong baby" I asked confused, and concerned. "I-I can't go home, m-my parents" She began saying quietly, she started crying harder again, and I pulled her into me once again. "Shh, please don't cry Ari, its ok, I'll take you to my house" I said it before I could stop myself. Its not that I didn't want her there. In fact, I would love to have her at my house again, in my room again. I would absolutely love that. But Aria hadn't been to my house since I broke up with her. And I didn't know how she would feel being there again.
Aria looked up into my eyes. And my heart broke looking into her soft, sad, teary hazel ones. "Y-your house?" She softly asked. "Only if your ok with that" I reassured her. She nodded. "Yeah I am" She said once again calming down, as her tears stopped, and her shaky breath got a bit stronger.
"Ok, come on" I told her. Opening the passenger side door to my car, and letting Aria get in. I then made my way to the drivers seat, and drove to my house. The whole car ride was silent besides Arias shaky breaths that I would hear every minute or so. Although it was quiet, I didn't find it to be that awkward silence, it was more of a comfortable silence that I enjoyed. I enjoyed just being able to be quiet, and peaceful with Aria.
I pulled into my driveway and was thankful to see my parents cars gone. The last thing I needed right now was their questions. I got out and made my way to the other side of the car opening the door. As I looked at Aria its almost as if she didn't even notice I was there. Her gaze was fixed on my house ahead her. Her face held a worried expression. "Aria, its ok, I promise" I told her holding my hand out for her to take. "Its just been a while" She said sadly, taking my hand and standing up, out of the car. "I know. And I'm sorry. When I said I wanted us to be friends still, I meant it, and its my fault you haven't seen my house in two weeks." I told her. Guilt starting to creep its way into me. "Its fine, I get it." She said, looking down. "Come on" I said pulling her up to the door and into the house.
Arias eyes took in the place. And sadness took over her face. "I miss it" She spoke so quietly I'm not even sure if I heard right. I let go of Arias hand and instead wrapped my arm around her waist. "Lets go upstairs" I said continuing to pull her up the stairs. As much as I would love to have a heart to heart with Aria right now, she just got over a panic attack, and I know now was not the time to have a serious talk with her. Her breathing still isn't completely back to normal, and I need to keep her calm for the time being.
We entered my room and Arias sad expression had only gotten stronger. "Lie down with me" I whispered pulling her to the bed. "What?" She asked. "Trust me, ok" I told her, bringing her down to my bed. We laid down next to each other and I wrapped my arms around her pulling her close to me. It took her a moment but her arms soon went around me too and she burrowed her head into my chest. I sighed happily. Ive missed this so much. The feeling of having Aria in my arms. I loved it so much.
I could tell that Aria fell asleep soon after, watching as her breathing slowed and finally returned to normal. Her grasp on me stayed the same, as did mine. "I love you Aria, Im going to make you mine again, I'm going to fix us, I promise" I whispered to her before kissing her forehead.
A/N Ooohhh Sparia is starting to happen again ;)