Risen
Chapter 5...
Two days we've been running through the desert. Red exhausts herself every day callin' the rain that washes away our tracks and keeps the sun away from Buffy. She sleeps all night and one of us wakes her up before the sun comes up so she can call the clouds again and we're running all day again. Giles swears he knows this desert, and that we're gonna get to a city soon, and Red'll be able to rest up in a real room, and we can keep Buffy inside all day in a building, and we'll travel by night.
But he said that yesterday, too. And there's still no end of the desert in sight. The demon I'm lookin' for, the one that'll be able to give Buffy her soul back again, he's in Phoenix, Arizona. If we were goin' the right way the whole time without bein' turned around, we'd have been in Phoenix already. But we're not.
"Hey, Red, you got enough energy left to call us up some kinda compass?"
"Better. I grabbed some stuff before we left." She reaches into her backpack and brings out a smart phone and a laptop. Giles can manage small magic stuff, so he creates some kinda shield to protect Willow's electronics from the rain.
"I can create a Wi-fi hotspot with my smart phone and connect to the internet with my laptop." She explains, then starts typing something up.
"What are you doin'?" I ask her.
"GPS." She answers. "Okay, we're... here." She mutters under her breath. "And here... is Phoenix." She grins happily.
"What, are we almost there?" I ask.
"Nope." She sing-songs.
"Then what's with the face?"
"He, Giles, told you we're lost!" She says. I think the desert's gettin' to her. She's actually glad we're lost, 'cause it means she one-upped Giles.
"Bloody hell." Giles mutters when he looks at the screen. "We've gone completely around Phoenix."
"Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?" I throw my stuff down, ready to strangle someone.
"No, I'm afraid not. When last we took the detour to avoid that vampire encampment, I'm afraidwe didn't correct our course enough. We should have been in Phoenix early this morning. I'm afraid we need to go east by north-east for about ten miles, then due east for another twenty before we get to Phoenix. And by then, I'm afraid the Council will have no doubt discovered where we are headed, and will most likely have a trap set up for us there. It would more than likely be more prudent to skip Phoenix and head to the nearest village or town. From there, I believe I have sufficient funds with me to purchase a vehicle large enough to transport us all to the nearest Soulkeeper demon."
"Soulkeeper?" Buffy asks. She turns and glares at me. "I knew it. You want to get my soul back!"
"No. I want to get B's soul back. You aren't B. You are a monster. You're a demon wearin' her skin. And we're goin' to get the real Buffy back. And I'm warnin' you now, vamp, if this doesn't work, or if you give us any trouble between now and the time we get B's soul back, I'll personally drive a stake through your cold, lifeless, blackened, disgustin' heart!" I must look insane right now, and probably because I am. I've been losing a little bit more of my sanity every day since B died. It's only a matter of time before I actually end up in the loony bin. Of course, there's a bright side. I'll probably die before then, so guess there's no tapioca puddin' in my future.
B looks at me, murder in her eyes. She looks like she actually feels betrayed, like we're the best of friends, and I'm joinin' the Mayor all over again.
"Faith?" I look at Dawn, and she recoils. I look around at everyone, and every last person around me but Angel flinches. I walk over to a puddle in the ground and knel down by it. I'm actually terrified myself of what I see.
My face is filthy, not an inch of flesh is clean, though the rest of the group is the same. My hair is matted, and looks like a colony of rats is livin' in it. It's caked with mud and somewhat dried blood from a recent vamp attack. I have a couple fresh scars on my face from the same vamp attack, and a thin white line just outside my left eye from where a coyote jumped me when I wasn't prepared.
But the part that's scarin' me is my eyes. They're deranged. Mutated by nearly a straight week with no sleep, other than that time I fell asleep outside Buffy's cage back at the compound. Twisted by not being able to grieve over Buffy, since I have to see her face every day.
I may not be completely insane, but I definitely look the part, and my reflection makes me hurl. I feel everything catchin' up to me at once. The girl I love died. She came back as the very thing we're sworn to kill. She killed other girls who have our callin' without hesitatin'. Four other Slayers, and I feel like the blood is as much on my hands as hers. Nearly a week with only a couple hours of sleep. Betrayin' my callin' by rescuin' a vampire, twice, and forsakin' all the other Slayers.
I'm losin' my entire stomach , haunted by the sight of my reflection.
Seems I'm hunched over, clutchin' my stomach for damn near ten minutes before I'm finally finished, and I'm able to move even the slightest bit. Instead of gettin' up, I roll over to my side, shiverin' and sobbin'. I don't care that everyone's watchin', starin' at me in disbelief. I don't care that I have the lives, and undeaths, of six other people in my hands, and that I need to be strong. Right now, I just wanna be a little girl again, curlin' up in Buffy's mom's arms while she's rockin' back and forth to comfort me.
I feel a hand on my back, pattin' me, like someone tryin' to burp a baby, lettin' me know it's alright.
It's Angel. The only person I know who could possibly understand what I'm feelin'. Me and him have a special bond that others could never understand. We're pretty much the same, just he's a male vampire, and I'm a Slayer. But both of us know what it's like to embrace the darkness for a time, only to come back to the light and feel the need to make up for what we did while in the light. On top of that, both of us know what it's like to be in love with B, but to be separated by some kind of veil from her.
I sit up and lean into him, burin' my face in his long black overcoat, my tears addin' to the wetness on his chest due to the rain. He holds me tight, and I realise I'm findin' myself in this position more and more lately. Leanin' on someone else to hold me while I cry. I feel so... weak. So powerless. So vulnerable.
I've always been seen as the strong one, able to live with my mistakes as long as I'm tryin' to make up for them. Always takin' what life throws at me and throwin' it right back in its face. Makin' my own destiny instead of takin' the one the Powers That Be have given me and followin' it to the letter.
But now it's clear to everyone that I was only ever strong because of Buffy. The real Buffy. Without her... I'm nothin'. Nothin' but some weak little girl not capable of even takin' care of myself, let alone the people I call my family.
"Look." Giles says, and points to a large hole in the sand. "It appears to be some kind of den for a larger animal. Perhaps a pack of desert coyotes. I can check to see if it's inhabited. If not, we can stay in there for the night."
I separate from Angel, noddin' my thanks to him, and he flashes me a reassurin' smile that's comfortin' despite the fact that he's not sure about what we're doin' either.
I nod in agreement to Giles, and he rushes over to the cave. He looks inside, then glances back to me and waves. It's clear.
It's tight and cramped in the den, and only a few of us can fit, so Red, Buffy and Dawn decide to sleep there for the rest of the day. The men and I stay outside to keep watch. Angel's wearin' his amulet thing that lets him stay out in the sun without burnin' up.
"Hey, G, maybe we should go look around and see if there's any towns or somethin' nearby where we can get a real room for the night, and maybe get a ride out of this desert." I suggest. I actually feel a little better since my cry.
"Yes, perhaps you're right. Though, two of us should stay here in case something happens." I catch Giles' meanin'. He's afraid that Buffy'll wake up first and gorge herself on a certain couple of women in that dark cave while they're asleep. He wants me and Angel to stay here so we can kill her if we need to.
"Yeah. Probably right. So me and Angel will stay, you and Xan should go off lookin' around. We'll keep watch here until you come back."
Giles nods and he and Xan run off into the desert. Somehow, I get the feelin' somethin' big's about to happen.
They're gone for an hour before I decide to try and have a conversation with Angel.
"So... Just curious... You still in love with B?"
He chuckles. "I thought we'd have this talk eventually. Yes, I still love Buffy. But you don't have to worry about me. I'd only end up hurting her if I tried to pursue her. I knew that a long time ago. Don't forget that I was the one who left her."
"Yeah. I remember. Still... people... vampires... they change their mind."
"That's true. But mine hasn't changed. Besides, Buffy... well... she's beyond my reach now, anyway."
"But the whole point of this little mission is to get her back."
"I know. But it might not work. Either way, that's not what I'm talking about. Her heart is as much yours as it ever was mine. She loves you now. Not me. I'm not so blinded by love for her that I can't see the obvious. But apparently you are."
"What?"
"She's loved you all along, and you never even noticed."
"No. I noticed. I was... afraid. Afraid that if I tried to make a move, and we decided to make a go of it... somethin' would happen, and it either wouldn't work out, and we'd lose even the shaky friendship we'd worked so hard to build, or one of us would die. Go figure, the day I finally realise we're gonna both be around a while, and decide to risk it, she goes and gives up. She goes and dies." Here come the tears again. But this time, I fight them back down. I refuse to feel weak again. If I'm gonna have any chance at makin' this work, I need to be strong.
Angel laughs again.
"I should have been more clear. I don't mean you're blinded by love. You... You are blinded, but not by love. You're blinded by hate. Your hate of the undead. Especially vampires. You don't think vampires can love, but they can. Look at me."
"Yeah, but you've got a soul."
"Fair enough. But take Spike. He fell in love with Buffy long before he got his soul back. And don't tell me he didn't, because he did. He nearly got himself killed by a hell god because he refused to tell Glorificus that Dawn was the key. Don't tell me being willing to sacrifice yourself to protect someone else isn't love. Even you know that."
"He had that chip."
"Okay, but he didn't have a chip when he was with Drusilla. He loved her. He really loved her. Besides, that chip only stopped him from hurting humans. It didn't affect his emotions. It only kept him from hurting Buffy long enough to have time to fall in love with her. Faith, vampires can love just as much as humans. They often have the same feelings for certain people that they did in life. Just take Spike and his mother. In life, he was a momma's boy. He loved his mother more than life itself. When Drusilla turned him, he went back and turned his mother so they could spend eternity together. He tried to save her by turning her. He loved her in life, and he loved her in death."
I feel like there's some kind of hidden message in what Angel's tellin' me, but I don't get the chance to ask before Xander runs up.
"Faith!" He's wheezing. He looks terrified.
"What is it, Xan?"
"They... They have... Giles!" He coughs. "Watchers! We... found... town... twenty minutes... north... Watchers... waiting... trap!"
"You found a town, but somehow, they knew we were headin' there, and they captured Giles?"
"Yeah!"
"Fuck!" I kick a stone on the ground and watch it fly through the air and sink into the ground a hundred feet away.
"Damn it." Angel curses. "It was Willow."
"What? Willow lead them there?"
"Not on purpose. They must have been tracking Willow's magical storm. Following it. They had to have figured it out."
"But how?"
"Probably because Phoenix was the obvious place we would go. It was the closest city to the compound, and there's a Soulkeeper there. They saw a storm heading from the compound to Phoenix, so they put two and two together."
"Damn it. So we can't use that storm thing again."
"We have to go get Giles back!" Xander says, havin' finally caught his breath.
"Yeah." I agree.
But we don't get the chance to go after him. The Watchers followed Xander.
We saw their vehicles pull up and surround us, keepin' at least a football field's length between them and us.
"High Slayer Faith Lehane!" One of them calls through a megaphone. "Step forward! We have you surrounded!"
No shit, Sherlock.
"We want to talk peacefully with you. I'm sure we can reach some kind of negotiation."
I look to Angel.
"I think we'd better do what they say. I can feel about a hundred or more Slayers with them, plus more than twenty Watchers with assault rifles."
"Damn." I curse under my breath, but put my hands up and walk to the guy with the megaphone.
"Fine. You got me." He leads me past the line of trucks to a Watcher standin' next to a buggy of some kind. It was the lady Watcher from the meetin'.
"High Slayer Lehane." She says grudgingly.
"Councillor... Vera, was it?"
"It is. Vera Bixley."
I snort. "I'm sorry, 'Bixley'? Someone must've hated your family."
"Shall we drop the antics and get to the point?"
"Fine. What's up?"
"You have something we want, and we can give you several things you want."
"Okay, you said let's cut to the chase. I'm not givin' Buffy up. I believe I can get her soul back, and everything'll be back to normal."
"No, I'm afraid it won't. You see, Ms. Summers herself has killed four different Slayers, one of which was a very prominent Slayer. And even if you do get her soul back, she'll have to live with the fact that she killed those four Slayers, and she'll still have the strength and speed of a Slaypire. Should she decide to leave the organization-"
"You mean if she decides to have a mind of her own again and refuse to be your plaything."
"Call it what you will." Her eyes confirm it. "In any case, she could still prove to be too dangerous. I admit I supported your plan to reensoul Ms. Summers to begin with, but that was before she killed three Slayers without hesitation. One of whom just happened to have been my daughter. Sarah Bixley."
"Oh, so that's what this is. Revenge. She kills 'mummy's little girl', so 'mummy' has to kill her back."
"Again. Call it what you will. But let's just say I've had a change of heart. I agree with the Council. Buffy Anne Summers, former High Slayer, will be executed. Now, you have a choice. You and your friends, including Mr. Giles, can die with her, or come back to the Organization with clean records. Your little bout of treason will not be held against you. On top of that, we have a few... tokens, shall we call them, that I think Ms. Rosenberg and Mr. Harris will personally wish to see."
"What?"
"Well... they're actually persons. By the names of Tara Maclay and Anya Jenkins."
Oh shit. How'd they manage to pull that one off?
"How?"
"Well, it appears that Ms. Jenkins' sacrifice in the battle against the First counts as unnatural, so her resurrection was actually as easy to accomplish as Ms. Summers' was after her death after defeating Glorificus. Ms. Maclay's ressurrection, however, was significantly more difficult. But, in the end, the Powers That Be recognize the necessity, and she, too, was allowed to come back. However, their return to life is conditional. If Ms. Rosenberg and Mr. Harris don't come back with us, Tara and Anyanka will return to their graves. Take this message back to your friends. If they wish, they can even see Anya and Tara themselves before making a decision." Vera smiles confidently.
"Tara?!" Willow gasps when I tell her. That was basically Xander's response, too, before he ran off to go see her. Buffy's sittin' against the wall, frownin'. She knows as well as I do that with Anya and Tara in the picture, Willow and Xander are puppets with the Watchers pullin' the strings. They're gone.
"Yeah. So they say. I'm not entirely convinced, though. How the hell did they get them back? I mean, even if they did what you did to get B back after that hell god thing, wasn't there supposed to be some kind of consequence?"
"Yeah. When we brought Buffy back, a demon came with her. But the Watchers knew that, so they probably had an army of Slayers standby and kill the demons after they got Tara and Anya back. It makes sense. The Watchers may be assholes, and we may not like what they do, and how they see us, but if anyone could do it, they could. I don't doubt that it's actually them." Willow's cryin', strugglin' inside. She's starin' at Buffy, knowin' if she stays, Tara dies again. But if she goes, she'll be abandonin' Buffy.
"Look, Red... I'm gonna need help to get Buffy back."
"I know."
"Let me finish. I'm gonna need help. But... I know how much Tara means to you. Buffy told me all about her. And it seems like she means as much to you as B means to me. I can't ask you to give her up so I can have B back. You should go back. Get Tara back. You deserve her, and she needs you. Go back for her. Angel, Oz, Dawn and I can get Buffy back. We'll have to make do without you. It's not an option, Red. I'm not givin' you a choice. Go back to her."
Willow takes one more look at Buffy with tears in her eyes, but nods at me. Without another moment's hesitation, she runs out of the cave and disappears amongst the Watchers. After about ten minutes, she and Xander are back with tears of joy in their eyes.
"It's them." Willow confirms. "They told us to come get you."
"Red, we're not comin'. We're not goin' back to those fuckin' Watchers. And the openin' to this cave is too small for more than two Slayers to get in at a time, and there's no way the Watchers can shoot us through the sand. If they come after us, there'll be too much bloodshed. Even they aren't willin' to risk the lives of all of their Slayers just to kill one rogue Slayer and a Slaypire. You just go tell them that." Red and Xan nod.
"We already told them that. We just came to say goodbye."
"See ya."
"Bring Buffy back." Willow says forcefully.
"I will. But you know the Council won't let her come back, whether she's got her soul or not."
"We know. That's why we're here to say goodbye." Xander says. They walk into the cave and hug me. It feels good, to be loved like this.
When the hug finally ends, they walk over to Buffy.
"Hey, Buff." Xander says. "I know you're not in there right now, but when you're back, you're gonna remember this. I think so, anyway. Um... so... Goodbye, Buff. I love you." He pulls the vampire into a tight embrace, afraid to let go, knowin' he'll probably never see her again.
"Goodbye, Buffy." Willow cries, huggin' Buffy. Buffy just rolls her eyes, not returnin' the hug.
And then, as fast as they disappeared the first time, they were gone again.