Last chapter before the epilogue! I'd love to say enjoy, but I don't think anyone of you will. So yeah read for yourself :)
Chapter 5
Edward's POV
Of course I didn't find my car keys when I needed them the most. I was standing in front of my car and searched for my keys in literally all my pockets, but no keys. Some of my siblings must have taken it or I lost it. Just when I had to go as fast as I could after Bella. Suddenly I saw Kathleen running towards me, her hair totally wet. I thought she left with Bella? Then she must have left herself, because of me. Because stupid Edward couldn't listen to her.
''Edward! Have you seen Bella? She's not picking up her phone!'' Kathleen exclaimed desperately as she moved her hands hectically. I shook my head.
''I was just going to go after her, when my car keys suddenly dissapeared.'' I growled and searched for them again.
''Why did she leave anyways? She knows she is suppose to take someone with her.'' Kathleen told me with a frustrated sigh.
''I...- err wasn't the nicest to her. Didn't let her talk. I read her letter when she was already gone.'' I said shamefully and full of regret.
''Oh god Eddie boy really? You do know that's going to make her super depressive. She already barely eats and speaks and now the one who she still loves rejected her. I mean I don't blame you for being mad, but couldn't you have listened to her?'' Kathleen murmured.
''Guees men can get over emotional too. Can we, I don't know talk while we search for her? I'm really getting a bad feeling that something is wrong.'' I said nervously. I felt the rain mixed with my sweat prickling down my entire body.
''Same here. Uhm but how are we getting there again? Bella took the car.'' Kathleen informed me and I muttered some curse words.
''I'll take you.'' Jacob said, coming from behind me. Kathleen's face immediately lit up as she saw Jacob. He walked past me over to her, took her hand in his and gave her a quick kiss. At least their going to have their happily ever after.
''Kat, do you know where she might have went?'' I asked her as we walked to Jake's car. Both of them got in the front and I was in the back.
''She's probably visiting Valerie. You know how she wanted to make up with me, you and your daughter?'' Kathleen answered as she glanced back to me.
Another thing I've been trying to get into my head. The fact that I had a daughter. With Bella. I mean I know we had sex for the first time when she left, but I never thought she'd get pregnant. It was only one time after all, but I was foolish to think that. If I had only known. I was quite surprised when Bella told me of our daughter in the letter and that she's in foster system. I do not know my daughter yet, but there is no way I'm going to let my child suffer in foster system. I know how bad children have it there.
''Yes she told me of her in the letter. I can't believe I have a daughter. An hour ago I was a typical teenager, now I'm a father who is desperately trying to find his ex-girlfriend that is dying.'' I whispered at the end. It took all of me to maintain a cool face and not break down into tears.
''Yeah life sucks, but we can't change that. Are you going to adopt Valerie? She still hasn't been adopted and if you're not doing it, I definitely will. Though I thought I'd ask you since you are her father and Bella wanted you to have her.'' Kathleen told me.
''Yes of course I will.''
The ride to the Orphanage felt like a life time. Every second was innerly tearing me apart and I was anxiously shifting in my seat. I'd never forget myself I something happened to Bella now. It is my fault she left. She wouldn't have left otherwise, or at least someone could have accompanied her. I can't believe I was this cruel to her.
We finally arrived at the Orphanage and I saw a woman standing outside with a little girl on her hip. The woman looked shocked and stared into nothing and the little girl was crying heavenly in her arms. We immediately stopped and jumped out of the car. Kathleen rushed to the crying girl and took her out of the woman's arms.
''I have a feeling Bella was here.'' Jake murmured.
''Bella.'' The woman said, still in shock.
''Yes Bella. Have you seen her? Was she here?'' I asked her as I tried to bring her back to reality. The poor women seemed like she just witnessed a crime.
''She was here to see Valerie a-nd th-en suddenly she fell onto the ground. We tried to talk to her, but she was unconscious. Mrs. Layton then called the ambulance and said she was close to death, so they rushed her to the hopsital.'' The woman said painfully slowly.
''What?!'' Kathleen, Jacob and I shouted at the same time. I saw how Kathleen nearly dropped Valerie, before moving her a little higher again. And I, well I couldn't believe what she just said.
''Kat we need to go now. Take Valerie.'' I ordered her and ran back to the car. Jacob soon followed me.
''We can't just take her, Edward!'' Kathleen shouted.
''Yes we can, I'm her father so now take her. I don't care if I get in trouble later on, I do no want to worry about her too. So now take her or I'm going to do it myself.'' I slightly growled. My whole body was tensed up.
The woman nodded to Kathleen and so she ran back to us with Valerie. I took her and cuddled her in my arms. She wasn't crying anymore, but she was quiet. I just pulled her really close to me, to get some kind of comfort. I felt her warm breath on my shirt and soon my baby girl fell asleep on me. I gave her a soft kiss on her head. I had a daughter, a beautiful little angel.
After five minutes we arrived at the hospital. Meredith and her mother Renee were standing outside, Renee was crying heavenly in her daughters arms and Meredith tried to support her, although she looked pretty devastated herself. I gently shifted Valerie so I could carry her without waking her up and got off the car. Kathleen took Jake's hand and rushed to her family.
''She wants to see you.'' Meredith told me sympathetically, though her voice broke. I nodded and made my way inside. I asked a nurse to Bella's room and they told me I could see her now, since she just woke up.
I entered the room with my daughter and there she was lying on the bed. Extremely pale, all the colour from her face had vanished and she was breathing irregularly. Her heart wasn't beating regularly either. As she heard us coming in, Bella opened her eyes and a small smile came over her face.
''Oh Bella I am so sorry. I should have listend to you in the first place. I'm such an asshole, I'm sorry.''
''It's okay Edward.'' Bella said weakly. ''You came after all.''
''Yes I came, with our daughter.'' I said smiling as I took a glance down at the sleeping baby in my arm.
''She looks so much like you.'' Bella whispered.
''I think she looks more like you.'' I replied witha grin.
''I'm so happy you came Edward. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you.'' Bella barely whispered now. Her eyes were half opened. I walked closer to her, shifted Valerie onto one side so I could take Bella's hand. She was extremely cold.
''It's alright Bella, I forgive you if you forgive me.'' I told her. Bella smiled.
''I was never..'' Bella said, but had to stop to take a deep breath. ''.. mad at you.''
Her breathing got worse and worse and she stared shake. A white liquid came out of her mouth and I pressed the button for the doctors.
''No Bella! Don't leave me, please don't leave me.'' I begged and squeezed her hand tightly. I couldn't stop the tears who were now streaming uncontrolable down my cheeck.
''I- l-l-l ov-e y-ou'' Bella stuttered before closing her eyes. I felt how her hand dropped. The doctors rushed into the room, but it was already too late.
Her heart wasn't beating anymore.
Exactly a week has passed since Bella passed away. The love of my life wasn't living anymore and I still couldn't believe it. My heart was screaming she isn't dead, it's telling me how she's still alive, but my mind is telling me the opposite. I know she left the world. I wasn't able to talk after her death, which was seven days ago. I wasn't able to drink or eat anything, the only thing that kept me alive was our daughter. Without her I probably would have commited suicide. I didn't want to live in a world completely without Bella. Now I had a part of her.
Today would be the day of her funeral and I had mixed feelings. On one hand I was glad she would finally find her peace, but at the same time I didn't know if I'd be able to be there without having an emotional breakdown.
''It's time Edward. Come on.'' Meredith informed me from the door. She was dressed all in black, just like the rest of us.
We decided to burry her in the Swan's garden, so her family could visit her whenever they wanted. I on the other hand was either way going to move here, or stay in Forks. I haven't decided yet. It was going to be a small funeral, with all her friends and family members and mine. All the people she loved the most.
My mother agreed to look out after Valerie and Meredith's son Xander while we were going to say our last goodbyes to Bella. I made my way outside to the huge garden and walked over to the crowd. And then I saw it.
Her coffin. She was lying inside there. Dead.
I had to stop as soon as I saw it. It was decorated with a lot of white and green flowers and behind her coffin was her grave and gravestone. I took in deep breaths and didn't care as the people stared at me. I guess they stared at me, because I was the only one who wasn't crying. I couldn't cry. I've cried too much these past few days and as strange as it sounds, I guess I had no tears left. The priest began with the funeral. After that a few people held speeches, but I refused. I wanted to talk to Bella myself when everyone left. We all said our goodbyes and they finally burried her. After a while everyone finally left and there I stood in front of her grave.
''So I will talk to you now, because I never got the chance to. You will listen to me right?'' I asked.
''Honestly I'm going to keep it short, because that's always how our relationship was. We didn't talk about every minor thought or concern of ours, because we already knew it. We knew what the other one was feeling as if we were one. No, we were one. I can't thank god and your parents enough for creating such a wonderful human. You've always brought joy and happiness to everyone and then you, from all the people ,you had to get cancer.'' I said and stopped to wipe away a tear.
''I could rant here, complaining how cruel and unfair it is that you had to get cancer. But I won't. Because we already know that. Some would have completely lost their minds, but you stayed strong for the people you loved. Even after you knew you were dying, you tried to keep the ones you love safe. ''
''And I couldn't keep you safe. But now I will try and keep our daughter safe and happy just like you would have done it. Isabella Marie Swan, you were the best thing that has happened in my life. I will never forget you and I will forever love you.''
I couldn't stop looking at her gravestone.
Isabella Marie Swan
September 13th 1987- October 8th 2004
Beloved Daughter, Sister and Mother
You will never be forgotten.
Always and Forever
She was dead and lying under us. Or maybe she already travelled to heaven and is looking upon us. Yes, she's watching us. That's what Bella would do. Care and look out for the ones she loves. She will never be forgotten by anybody. I'll make sure of it.
''Always and Forever'' I said one last time.
There you have it. Such an emotinal chapter for me, sorry for anyone who hoped she'd survive. That's how I always wanted the story to end. Honestly I can't even imagine it and I'm here sitting on my bed and tearing up. Anyways before I start ranting I better stop.