Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the franchise's characters, places, etc. I am not making a profit from this work other than the joy I take in writing it.
Previously: Despite their honest work together during crypt renovations Buffy became suspicious of Spike's activities. When she interrupted his plan to rob a furniture store those suspicions were confirmed. Resolving that they would forever be enemies first and reluctant allies at best, it would never be his job to save the world. Nor would she rush to protect him should his unlife become in danger. So when a bar brawl turns deadly and Spike becomes gravely wounded questions surfaced. If not Buffy who can he go to? What was that invisible force that saved him? And most importantly: What does this mean for the Prank War?
WHITE HAT: PART I
SMILE BOOK (BETA v1.8) – Presented By UC Sunnydale Technology Department
SB PRIVATE CHAT ROOM: "Scooby Speak!"
COLD_HARD_$$$: So then XANDER wouldn't jump!
REDHEAD_LOVER: Jump off the Golden Gate?
COLD_HARD_$$$: Yes! I swear he was the one that talked the talk about all the romance but when the moment comes does he follow through? Of course not! Because THAT would require a little thing called commitment!
CHOSEN_SUX: I you may b minsterpreting a lil Anya. C, Niagra Falls is romantic. Golden gate suicide not so much
COLD_HARD_$$$: I know! But Xander won't go for that either!
REDHEAD_LOVER: Well it is kind of on the other side of the continent.
COLD_HARD_$$$: That wasn't the issue. He is more than ok with driving. No! Aparently barrels over the falls are 2 dangerous also!
CHOSEN_SUX: Why are you trying to kill Xander?
COLD_HARD_$$$: I'm not! Why do peolpe keep saying that?
CHOSEN_SUX: because those are popular methods of suicie?
COLD_HARD_$$$: Well so is attacking a giant snake but he had no problem doing that! Besides this isn't about death!
REDHEAD_LOVER: Then what is it?
COLD_HARD_$$$: Proving our love for each other!
CHOSEN_SUX: ANYA! There is NOTHING romantic about dying!
COLD_HARD_$$$: Well tell that to my old friend Shakspeare!
REDHEAD_LOVER: Oh! You knew William Shakespeare?
COLD_HARD_$$$: Yes of course, how else do you think he became so famous!
CHOSEN_SUX: You cursed shakespeare with fame?
COLD_HARD_$$$: That isn't a curse Buffy. No it was all about this other writer and how he cheated on her! His wife was so mad she made a wish that he would stop being good as a writer. So he can feel what it's like to lose what you love. Shakeseare was just the guy lucky enugh to inherit the gift when I removed it frm the two-timing pig of a husband!
CHOSEN_SUX: That's an interesting story Anya but death and romantic don't go hand and hand. Romeo and Juliet for example. While nice and sweet there is nothing romantic about killing yourself to be with someone
COLD_HARD_$$$: Really?
CHOSEN_SUX: Yes reall! Oh! and neither is spending your life pining for some guy you can never be with! U know? Wasting years waiting for some miracle to happen that'll make things ok between you 2?
COLD_HARD_$$$: Like you and Angel
"What?" Buffy said aloud into her bedroom, after seeing Anya's latest chat comment. She was hoping that she managed to get through to Anya about the woman's misguided notions about death and romance but then she went and pulled a Spike by flipping it around on her.
REDHEAD_LOVER: What? Anya, this isn't about Buffy and Angel.
COLD_HARD_$$$: The similarites are there though. No reason to talk abut a play written by a guy over three hundreds years ago when there is a perfect example right there in Sunnydale
REDHEAD_LOVER: Anya some things are really sensitive to talk about. Past loves fall into that category!
No kidding. Since when did my love life become town gossip?
Granted that it was only Anya who was making with the tactless, which Buffy not only expected but even had come to accept over the past year. It was a situation where Buffy reasoned that if the ex-demon made her best friend happy, then that was what mattered. It was the same story with Tara. Admittedly she had been surprised when Willow first told Buffy about her feelings for the other woman but the shock didn't last, especially after she had come to know Tara better over time. No it was the "other" resident demon who had been playing too much Doctor Phil of late.
CHOSEN_SUX: It's okay, Anya's right. It's the big reason why Angel left. It is also partly why I have a very nice and very non-angsty boyfriend who will not turn into a psychopath and kill my friends
REDHEAD_LOVER: Hey, speaking of vampires, how's the "prank war" going? Is Spike waving a white flag yet?
CHOSEN_SUX: vampires = ugh! If only Spike had the same sense to just leave!
REDHEAD_LOVER: Is it that bad? You haven't said anything about him since that one night he hijacked your account some weeks ago.
She knew the smart play was to just rant on about how evil and annoying Spike was. To repeat the party motto of: "Demons are evil. Spike, is a demon. Spike's chip comes out so comes out the dust pan." Only it hadn't been like that this summer. The snark was still there but it wasn't as intense as before. If Spike had been human she would even consider having him as a friend. Only that wasn't the case and never would be. Angel was the vampire who wanted to be human. Spike reveled in being a vampire; evil through and through.
Which is why playing this game with him is so dangerous!
CHOSEN_SUX: It's complicat...
Buffy paused in her typing, staring at the words she had repeated so often in the past whenever discussing her rivalry with the blond vampire. They still applied to the current situation but Willow, Xander, Giles, and the others with whom she usually discussed all things Spike with were absent from this current chat. She knew what they would say, of course, but without them here this might could be an opportunity for some fresh perspectives. Backspacing what she'd started to type she went with a different approach.
Well, almost different.
CHOSEN_SUX: It's complicated, only not in the overly over too overly over complicated but maybe only sort of compliucated comply?
Overly complicated? Smooth, Summers.
COLD_HARD_$$$: You mean you are understanding him more?
Why couldn't I say that?
CHOSEN_SUX: Its different. I think a lot of it has to do with he's the only person I have for companyu right now. All the more reason on why I CANNOT WAIT for you guys to come back
REDHEAD_LOVER: It is that bad?
CHOSEN_SUX: No it isn't. And that's the problem it''s getting to the point where saying the name Spike doesn't send the same sdisgusted chill up my spine. And that is so not a good thing!
COLD_HARD_$$$: So call him smething else
CHOSEN_SUX: Like what? Pig? Disgusting? Evil? Vampire? Demon? Kind of running the whole gauntlert
REDHEAD_LOVER: How about "enemy?"
Enemy?
Buffy scrunched up her face.
That's so lame!
CHOSEN_SUX: I don't know Tara. That's kind of bland and lamey, yu know?
REDHEAD_LOVER: Yeah but that is kind of the point, Buffy. There is nothing cute or creative or any sort of quip-like nickname about it.
COLD_HARD_$$$: Tara does make a good point. You have a lot of enemies Buffy. When you call Spike "enemy" it'll be hard to associate that as a nickname soley for him. Itd be hatrd to forget what he is. The only word that would fit better is something like "murderer" or "person who will kill me someday"
CHOSEN_SUX: I get what you two are saying, I do. It's just that enemy is so blahg and unfun
COLD_HARD_$$$: Well yeah, isnt that the point?
Isn't it?
REDHEAD_LOVER: You might as well try it, Buffy. If it doesn't help you can go back to calling him what you were before. When will you see him next?
CHOSEN_SUX: We don't exactly sertup dates or anyhing like that. Although I have been avoiding him this entire past week. Not goin into details but something happened that irked me, Decided some time apart would be for the best. I think he got the same impression as he has avoided me also.
REDHEAD_LOVER: Then maybe tomorrow night can be a test run? If nothing else you can see what he has been up to. In a way you are his parole officer.
CHOSEN_SUX: because so many mass murderers get out on parole
REDHEAD_LOVER: Well? How else would you describe that part of your relationship?
"Oh my God," Buffy groaned and closed her eyes as Tara's words hit home. Was it really that surprising though? She did want a fresh perspective after all.
Well I got one! Juvenile delinquent Buffy Summers, unofficially appointed parole officer to mass-murderer William the Bloody.
"Only on the hellmouth."
"Hakuna matata, what a wonderful phrase," Clem warbled with his voice fluttering nervously. He had been standing outside of Spike's crypt for well over an hour. Since his arrival, what confidence he had continued to dwindle minute by minute. "Hakuna matata, ain't no passing craze."
A branch broke somewhere off to his left and Clem's head whipped around towards the direction of the sound. His eyes swept the rows of several dozen tombstones spread out over a large stretch of Restfield's cemetery. Swept and searched for any inkling of movement. A lone crow cawed before beating its wings to fly away, leaving the jittery demon alone with only dead men for company.
Idly twiddling his sweating fingers, his flaps of excess skin not helping in the slightest, Clem was again left feeling utterly alone in a perpetual sea of grass, marble and granite with only his wild imagination for company. Such imaginings ranged between a gang of demons catching and skinning the layers of skin from his flesh all the way to a petite blonde girl severing his head with an ax. If his death were to come though, he would prefer it to be at the Slayer's hand. The likelihood of being flayed and tanned postmortem was clearly the worse of the two afterlifes.
"It means no worries for the rest of your days," Clem sang, picking up from where he'd left off earlier. His fingers continued to twiddle and he thought back on Spike's offer to partake in a smoke earlier on. He had declined then but were he to ask him now, Clem realized he would be hard pressed to not accept such a gesture, if only to ease the building stress.
Six nights before, he had told Willy that taking in Sunnydale's most wanted vampire was as far as his "help" extended. There weren't enough free drinks and poker games in the world that could convince Clem to team up with the Slayer. Working with her was what had brought Spike into this trouble to begin with.
And he can have it!
"It's our problem-free philosophy, Hakuna Matata," Clem continued but then his voice drifted off as his eyes at last found the person he had both hoped and dreaded to meet this night.
He had only heard of her by secondhand accounts but living in Sunnydale for as long as he had, he could point her out in a lineup. It wasn't so much her small frame or the flashy clothes she wore to attract the attention of preying demons, it was more how she carried herself. Reading people was the bread and butter of any poker game and by Clem's estimation, this was a walk the Slayer had taken before.
Her step was sure, following an invisible path only her eyes could see. Her armor was nothing more than a simple blouse and pair of blue jeans. The resemblance of an oblivious coed wandering around the dark was uncanny. So much so that her facade was offset only by the ease with which she carried herself. Rather than playing the baby seal, her presence exuded was more of the shark, patrolling for its next kill. The cemetery was her hunting ground and any demon foolish enough to be caught in such an obvious kill zone was signing their own death warrant.
Now, within a hundred feet of his position, Clem gulped nervously when he saw her gait slow and come to an eventual pause as she recognized him for what he was. Despite never seeing her up close, Clem knew the exact moment that her eyes narrowed and her jaw became set as she poised herself.
As if aiding and abetting a fugitive wasn't bad enough! Secretly meeting the SLAYER while she's out killing my drinking buddies? And then! Even if tonight goes right – oh my uno and checkers that's a big knife!
"Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh – help?" Clem stuttered and began to take step back only to find himself trapped against the wall of the mausoleum.
"Help?" the Slayer mimicked as a cold wicked grin froze Clem to the spot. "Help who? I offer all sorts of help to all sorts of people. I'm help-y like that. For demons like you?" The Slayer paused and masterfully twirled the eight inch blade betweenst her fingers. "There's only one kind of help I offer," the Slayer explained. Her grin folded as her voice lost all pretenses of sweetness and dropped to what was to be a cold promise of death. "I'll help you straight to hell."
Help who? Help me. Help me! Help – oh right!
She closed in. The power in her hand betrayed its miniature size as she pressed him back against the outer wall of Spike's crypt. Clem turned his face away, closed his eyes, and said what he hoped to be the magic name that would save him from her chosen destiny.
"Spike!" Clem yelped just as he felt cold tip of her knife poke his skin.
The shift happened immediately. One moment the pressure on his neck was suffocating and in the next it had slackened. The knife that had begun to dig into his chest was pulled away. It was enough assurance for him to peek between his eyelids and witness the difference in her expression. Before, it had been nothing but business. Ruthless professionalism. Now, however, there was a clear look of hesitation. It was remarkable that something as little as a name could prove to be the catalyst for so radical a change. So dynamic its effect, Clem was certain that if other demons knew the charm that name held, it would be dropped more often.
His reprieve though was short lived. The moment that captured her in uncertainty had come and gone, only to be replaced by something far worse than her lethal demeanor from before. "What do you know?" It wasn't a question. It wasn't a request. It was a demand and if he didn't tread lightly, that knife she held would find itself a new sheath.
"He's in trouble!" Clem exclaimed. In response he only felt her hold on him tighten. "A lot of trouble. Sunnydale's demons are out to get him!"
"Why?" the Slayer pressed.
"Because of you!" Clem burst and there was no mistaking the terror in his voice. Still that did nothing to change the dubious look on her face. "And because of how he kills his own kind! How he betrayed Adam and the others!"
Her response was to roll her eyes and scoff. It was then that Clem realized this was hardly news to her. "I've already had this conversation with him," the Slayer said shortly. "Whatever has happened since then, doesn't change a thing." That hadn't been the response Clem had hoped for and neither was the way her eyes narrowed. "Who are you?"
"Clem!" he squeaked, the tremors in his voice far from subsiding.
"Okay, Clem," the Slayer nodded and relaxed her hold as she realized that the demon was more likely to pee his pants than take a swipe at her. "You're a demon, why are you playing messenger boy? Why aren't you out for his dust?"
"Not every demon wants him dead," Clem explained, realizing the open handed candidness was his best bet. "Most don't care either way, certainly not enough to help him. Government chip or not, in their mind, Spike dug his own grave. Those that do care only want him dead and since that night, they've been looking all over town for him."
"Really?" Buffy said skeptically. "If they're out in force then why haven't I run into any?"
"We all know better than to cross paths with the Slayer, even more so since you're protecting him." Clem picked up that this wasn't something she had expected to hear, which confirmed Spike's denials about his partnership with the Slayer being anything more than mercenary. "That's just what's been assumed by everyone else," Clem clarified. "The guy denies anything other than killing to get his rocks off." At her arched eyebrow he held up his hands in surrender. "His words!"
"Obviously," the Slayer said and looked to be giving thought to Clem's explanations. Eventually though, she shook her head and made ready to leave, intent on continuing her patrol. "Again, this doesn't change a thing. It's not my job to save his skin or play demon referee. He needs to leave town."
"He can't!" Clem said quickly, before she could turn away. "He's been hurt."
Given how unattached she had been to Spike's welfare and her determination to leave the vampire's problems behind in the cemetery with the "messenger boy," Clem was under the impression that nothing would change the Slayer's stance on the matter. He was wrong.
Hearing his words, she stopped and let out a long tiresome sigh. "Of course he is," she grumbled and turned to face Clem and listen to the rest of the demon's brief. "How bad?"
"He can't walk," Clem answered, with a look of relief washing over his face when he at last go through to her.
"Wow, history repeating itself," she replied with a roll of her eyes. Despite the callousness of those particular words Clem could have sworn that her voice had filled with something nearing nostalgia. Such a random twist the gentle demon couldn't even begin to speculate on what she might really feel. "Take me to him."
It wasn't a request.
To Be Continued...
Reviews:
Thank you for the kind words everyone, reviews help to encourage any writer. This is a fun story and a story that I immensely enjoy writing. Which, by the way, if any reader has an idea for a fun prank either involving Spike and Buffy themselves or (any other BtVS character) please include in a review. With a story like this I have a lot of rope to play with.
AN:
Shorter chapters means frequenter updates and a easier reading on the eyes. As always a big thank you to the story's beta, All4Spike. Without her this story would be sorts out of whack.
-S