I don't know what it is with Emilys PoV that makes the chapters so long … Oh well, the more the better, aygh?
I had a blast writing this.
Skins is not mine.
Chapter 8: I could hear rain coming
Emily PoV
She's not flinching away!
The need to touch her and an unexpected braveness had made my hand reach out for hers, and we were now holding on tight, stroking with our thumbs occasionally. I had almost expected her to shy away after the glances she kept sending my way, but the surprise was big when she gripped back, returning my caring petting.
I didn't dare meet her gaze though, not with everyone around us, and not when I couldn't answer the questions I knew would be evident in those, oh, so beautiful eyes. Because, why was I doing this?
I could blame it on the stronger and stronger pull against her I've been experiencing, but that would mean taking the weaker role, and it was way too soon for that. Plus, my past struggles with Katie and Karen caused by doing exactly that, stopped me.
Why now though? I could've taken her hand when we were alone on thursday or just given her a call yesterday to meet her. The safety of everyone around us making her not being able to acknowledge my affectionate touch, maybe. It sort of made a sacred haven for me to experiment in - or in this case, holding her hand waiting for the reaction.
Her believing in me after I told my story to her on thursday had just spurred these feelings on. She had faith in me in a way that not even Karen had, and only after a week. It made me find new strength and want to continue with my mission. The protests and complaints from my family only broke me down, but she, she lifted me up. And for that I was grateful, and it was maybe the reason I found the courage in me tonight.
We held hands for the rest of the movie, not moving closer or further apart. It seemed enough for now. Hell, it was more than enough.
When the movie was finished and all praises were made, JJ, Katie, Thomas and Pandora went home, leaving the rest of us - me, Naomi, Effy, Freddie and Cook. Cook declared that a game of poker were in its place, but was voted down by 2 to 3 when he suggested strip poker. Boys against girls. I had since let go of Naomi's hand, concentrating on holding my cards and hiding them from her sneak peeking. Effy got some beers and passed them around, and we were soon buzzing.
Fortunately it seemed like nothing changed between me and Naomi after my little stunt, we were still messing around and teasing each other. I certainly got to hear it when I lost half of my chips to her in a nasty bet. But to my misfortune, Cook was also totally flirting with Naomi. If she wasn't laughing by something I've done, she laughed about something he said. It kind of developed to an 'who-can-make-Naomi-laugh-most' contest.
"Okay, enough for tonight, me and Freddie need to get some z's" Effy declared when she was sick of our bantering.
"Are ya sure ya don't mean ya gonna get some d?" Cook asked and Naomi burst out laughing again. I had to giggle a bit myself, it was a good line.
"Yeah yeah, same thing" she said when practically pushing us out the door. "See you tomorrow Em."
She closed the door, and we were three. I lived right next door, so no hassle for me to get home.
"I'll walk ya home, Blondie." Cook offered.
Naomi gave me a quick glance, before accepting the offer. When we walked past my driveway, I stopped, gesturing to my house.
"Humm, so this is me." I look shyly up into Naomis eyes, the memory of our handholding coming back full force, making me slightly blush. She studies the house for a bit, before breaking out in a smile.
"It's really nice."
"Yeah, so see you?" I shuffle my feet a little, wishing Cook weren't standing right behind her.
"Yes, see you Em!" she reaches out her hand and squeeze my shoulder lightly before turning and walking off with Cook.
"Later, Red!" he farewells me, before he starts telling an amusing story to Naomi. I watch them walk away, an awful worrying adhering in my gut. I tell myself that this is not bad, that they are going the same way and it is natural for him to walk her home. Besides, it wasn't his hand she was holding tonight, it was mine. I contemplated running after them for a split second before thinking better of it. Don't be a gadfly like with Karen.
I retreat to mine and Katies room, finding her video chatting with some guy. I walk in at the worst moment ever, her taking of her bra. I slam the door close.
"Fucking hell, Katie! That is NOT what I'd like to see on a saturday night." I yell, angry at her, angry at our shared room, angry at mum and dad for taking this long to rebuild the house.
"Cool off Ems! It's not my fucking fault you don't have a fucking boyfriend to run off to!" she opens the door, clothes firmly in place thankfully, "Get out there! Live a little, and this" she gestures towards her chest before pointing to the now black computer screen "would not scare you so much!"
Oh yeah, my family don't know I'm gay. That would just be one more thing for them to be disappointed in me in, and I could just not handle that right now, therefore I'm holding it all in. Not so much to spill for either, it's pretty dreary on the girls-front out here. Until now that is.
"That's not fair! You can't just fucking sit and strip in my room! I sleep in here! And I'll probably have a nightmare about this!" I rip my hear out of shear agitation. She just raises her eyebrows in a silent challenge. Oh no, here it comes...
"For your information, it's our room. And second, where else can I chat with Ian? It's not like I can risk James seeing me, you know how he perves. So you just have to deal with it, alright? 'Cause if I can't get anything on this island, I need to get it elsewhere!" she practically yells into my face.
I shut my eyes as unwanted pictures sails into my head. I swallow a couple of times and breathe deeply in and out.
"Alright, Katie. Just, I don't want to hear it, see it or talk about it." I say with a finality in my voice, turning to head for the bathroom. Another fight lost, another dot to the growing storm inside of me. When I return to the bedroom later, she's sleeping. Thank god!
Before I fell asleep I thought of soft touches and long slender fingers intertwined with mine. In the state right before one's gone, I almost felt her in my hand again.
She looks down today.
It was the first period wednesday. Doug had been a pain in the ass about me working with Naomi these last two days, always placing me where she was not, mostly in the cutting machine, so my back was killing me. I couldn't exactly express my wishes to him either, chancing to reveal too much in case it came back to Naomi. This resulted in me only being able to talk to her in the breaks. Our little handholding saturday hadn't changed much between us but I had noticed she'd become more and more … almost sad, for every break.
This was the closest we'd been all week, and it still wasn't close enough to speak. We were both placed on the conveyor belt, but at opposite sides. This meant that if I glanced upwards, I would look right at her, but she didn't return any of my attention. She had turned up yesterday with a headset, and was now lost in her music as she had every time she worked since. It didn't matter to me as I couldn't speak to her anyway, but it sure as hell put a damper on her mood.
But now I was going to change that.
I grabbed a random piece of fish from where I was stood cutting, and made sure she was paying no attention to me what so ever. When I was sure, I lifted my fillet, slightly aiming. It wasn't far to where she were, maybe five feet. When I was feeling confident enough, I threw my fish over the conveyor belt hitting her square in the nose. Ha! Jackpot!
She tumbled backwards, being too lost in her task to predict anything like this happening. Her wide and surprised eyes snapped to where the fish came from, and she met mine who were now overflowed with tears. I was laughing so hard, doubling over trying to catch my breath. Thomas who was standing beside me was also full on laughing. When she caught on to what I've done, she narrowed her eyes at me, shouting something I couldn't make out in the roar of the machines. I kept laughing at her expression, my vision being blurred by the tears that wouldn't stop coming, until suddenly something wet and cold smashed into my cheek. I yelped, raising my hand to quickly wipe the unwelcome sensation of my face. Some of the fish got down into my thick wool sweater. God, that would smell bad later.
I look to Naomi, finding her with a triumphant smirk on her face while she was sorting through the fish on the belt. I guess I had that one coming. I reached over, messing up her system, flipping fishes so she couldn't see the bones. She swatted my hand away with a giggle. I giggled too, wallowing in the glint in her eyes when she laughed like that. It was nothing as beautiful as that spark.
The rest of the period I did everything I could to make her laugh like that as often as possible. I threw my cutted fillets over her hands, irritating the hell out of her. I did weird dance moves whenever I had nothing to do, making her laugh and shake her head at me. I pushed all of my fish over to her when she switched to cutting too. We made a game of it, sliding a fillet back and forth - trying to score against each other. It ended up with me throwing it in her neck, making up for my now soggy fish wet bra.
When the break made its arrival, I sprinted to the changing room, knowing she'd wanted to take revenge for the latest water splash. She came in when I had nearly gotten all of my plastic off, and stalked right towards me, a dangerous look in her eyes. I squealed as she got closer, twisting quickly out of my last attire. I barely got away, rushing up the stairs right before she reached me.
"You better watch your back, Fitch!" she yelled after me. I laughed, almost contemplating eating in the bathroom to escape her gruesome wrath.
When she arrives in the canteen I'm stirring my tea, looking at her with an innocent face.
"Those puppy eyes won't work for me." she rolls her eyes as she settles down beside me.
"How about now?" I pout, sticking my bottom lip out. She turns to me, and I realize I've leaned slightly into her, bringing our faces close together. She looks deeply into my eyes before she glances towards my pout and up again. Her whole expression changes, it seems. A serious look taking over, and that sparkle from earlier is back. I forget where I am and what I'm doing as I'm staring into her crystal clear orbs holding so much unknown feelings and secrets locked down. I wanted to know them all, I wanted to revel in what she is.
Cook clapping his hands and howling snaps us apart. If looks could kill, he would be in a heap on the floor by now. He stands leaning over the table with both his hands firmly planted on it.
"So, last weekend we were pussies, movie night and poker without stripping! This weekend, We. Will. Go. Fucking. MENTAL!" he emphasize every word with banging the table with his hands, shouting the last word. I roll my eyes as I glance over to Effy who's sporting the same look. This is so typical him.
"Saturday night, party at me house. Be there or be queer!" he sits down, seemingly done with his speech. I feel my ears turn red at his pun. Effy raises an eyebrow to me, daring me to stay home. We both know that the pun meant nothing, but it kind of hit me at my weakest spot.
Naomi nudges me. "You going Ems?"
"Yeah, I think so. You?"
"If you are, then I am." she smiles warmly at me before peeling a banana. I smile to myself. Party it is.
"What the hell Katie? Your tits are practically bulging out of your top! Why do you even bother with clothes?" I state exasperated when I find her arranging her hair in the bathroom.
"This is fine goods, Ems, better make a use of it." she turns to look me up and down. "But you wouldn't know that." she smirks cruelly, turning back to the mirror.
I sigh, sitting down on the toilet seat. I was used to this, she hacking on me to make herself feel better. I let her, because I knew she was severely insecure deep down. When I study her I note that she is looking good, like, too good for a typical island rave. Small red top, even smaller black skirt with ungodly high heels, lots of make up and soon with immaculate hair.
"Why are you putting in so much effort anyways?" I asked. I thought of my outfit for the evening. Nothing extravagant, some black cool shorts, a low cut shirt with some print on it, and my old summer shoes. I had my fringe up in a clench and let the rest of my hair flow freely. I had also dyed my hair, making the color more intense. I topped it all of with quite a bit of eyeliner. I hoped it would catch a certain blonde's attention.
"Why are you here bothering me? Why aren't you with Effy, as you usually are before a party?" she bites back. She was right, it was our ritual, until she decided to break it today, that is.
"She ditched me for Naomi, something about making her prepared for the first wild party out here." I answer off-handedly.
She scoffs. "I don't know why you're taking such a liking to her. She seems like a bitch and has no fashion sense, what so ever." she started plucking her eyebrows, making them perfect.
"Shove it, Katie, she's my friend! And don't avoid my question, why are you putting in such an effort?"
She turned to me, arranging her breasts in the top, making them stand out even more before sighing. She perches herself on the counter.
"I've been feeling a little lonely." she admits.
"And?"
"And I want to do something about it!" she crosses her arms in front of her.
"Not this shit again!" I throw my hands in the air, walking away from her.
"No Emsy, it's just … I need someone too, okay? I promise I won't get attached." it comes weakly from behind me. I turn.
"I don't know, Kay. I mean, you and Cook, it's kind of gross. He's a manwhore!" I shrug my shoulders. They have an on and off kind of thing that's been going on for years.
She scoffs. "It's not any grosser than this nun thing you've got going. Seriously, you need a decent shag." she goes back to the bathroom, to continue fixing her appearance.
I sigh. She's right, I do need some action soon.
We walk together to Cooks house. It's a great distance island wise, since he's living on the other side and the roads are curvy and unruly. We share a bottle of vodka on the way, not really caring who sees us. I think our parents are very aware of our drinking habits anyway. Katie's not a bitch for a change, and that's nice, me being one of the few that sees her like this. I update her on work and vice versa, then we slander the family and their fucking need to control us.
It's cloudy and I can smell rain in the air, but it's fortunately a warm evening. Yet.
When we arrive outside Cooks house, a bachelor pad in true style, we find that the party is already somewhat started. The party habit on the islands is something like - start as early as possible and stay alive as long as you manage. The after parties were often lasting well into the next day.
The gang is sitting in a circle on the floor, the people from Vader clearly not showed up yet. It looks like they're playing spin the bottle. I roam my eyes over everyone, stopping on Naomi with a hitch of my breath. I see her eyeing my outfit too, slightly biting her lip. Her hair are curled and messily arranged with pin bobs. She's sporting tights and a long top over it. Effy being the creator of this isn't so shocking, it's kind of her thing, this outfit. But I wasn't prepared that it'd look so good on Naomi. She also have a bit of make up on, a light eyeshadow and some eyeliner that makes her eyes pop. I notices that she's barefoot, and there's some ink on her left foot. I wonder what it is.
"Emily, stop being a freak and sit down." I jerk out of my perving at Katies call, turning slightly red. She has joined the circle already edging her way to Cook, and I'm standing like a crackpot alone. I join them, sitting next to Naomi, of course. I give her a small smile, which she returns instantly. I notice Katie giving Cook the googly eyes, but try not to think about it too much. As long as it's not Naomi.
"So," Thomas starts, getting up on his knees holding the bottle in his hands "we'll start with whoever the bottle stops on has to drink, that way we all get royally fucked up as soon as possible." he stops for dramatic effect, momentarily patting his pocket "And then I'll show you my magic pills." he grins as everyone starts to whoop and cheer.
Maroon 5 is playing and we've played spin the bottle, drink version, for over an hour. I don't think me and Naomi has ever laughed this much before, and the bottle has stopped so many times at me that my sight is blurred and my head is spinning whenever I move. Thomas handed out his drugs five minutes ago and I swear to God I'm already feeling it.
Looking over at Naomi, noting that she looks really tipsy, I'm guessing she's feeling it too. She gives me a crooked smile while saying something.
"What?" I answer as I can't make out any words, leaning closer.
"This is fucking good stuff, I swear you just had three eyes Em!" she yells into my ear. I giggle. I'm more lightheaded than I've ever been, and it's not only the drugs. Naomi lifts her finger, dragging it down the length of my arm, following it with her gaze. I shiver, a shaky breath escaping. She notices my flustered state, and smirks down at me, before returning to the game. I glare at her. Tease.
My sister is currently holding the bottle in her hands looking thoughtfully at it. Then she lifts her gaze to Cook who is smoking a spliff beside her, then back to her bottle. It looks like she's forming a plan in her head.
"Cook?" she purrs at him.
"Yeah, babe?"
"When was those people from Vader coming again?" she leans into him in a suggestive manner. He grins down at her, probably with a full view down her top before checking his watch. "Should be in an hour or so." She claps her hands, standing up in the middle of the circle.
"Alright losers, we need to turn this shit up! We're all pretty wasted, am I right?" she gets murmurs of agreement from around the group, Effy just simply raising a thumb in the air from where she's practically laying on top of Freddie. "So time to make this game physical!" she holds the bottle in the air.
"I fucking like your style, Katiekins!" Cook guffawed from down on the floor. He went and turned up the music, before we all got settled for an interesting couple of minutes.
The game was fucking hilarious! Everyone kissed and licked and touched each other in inappropriate places, and it was amusing as hell! Well, at least when it didn't involve me or Naomi though. We never seemed to get each other, always pairing up with someone else. So far I've licked Pandas throat, got felt up by Freddie and hugged JJ for a minute - nothing extravagant. But Naomi, though, I felt sorry for her! First Cook got to kiss up all her arm to her ear using too much tongue (I was obviously not okay with this, but it was a game and she looked fairly uncomfortable, so) and then she had to feel Katies tits, to Katies dismay before Thomas gave her a full on kiss. The others seemed to get the worse things, and the absolute worst was when JJ had to touch, and I quote, 'the Cookiemonster'. Somewhere in the game Freddie and Effy had to make out. We'd lost them after that and now they're sucking each other faces of in the corner.
It was currently Katies turn to spin the bottle.
"I've had enough of this amateur ideas, now I want some real action." she gives Cook a sultry look. "I call seven minutes in heaven."
Cook burst out laughing. "Right on Katie! But make it twenty, and make it to be in my bedroom." He waggle his eyebrows. She smiles sweetly back. "Of course, Cookie. So, the two next who gets picked will have twenty minutes in heaven." She starts to spin the bottle and my heart rate speed up. If it was something I wanted to do with Naomi, this was definitely it. I didn't know what would happen, but with the alcohol and drugs in our blood added with the touches she seemed to be giving me quite often, I was certain something could happen.
The bottle start to slow down, and I lean down on my hands to see where it ends. It ends with the bottom against me, and when I follow its direction with my eyes I look straight up into Cook howling.
"Fucking hell! Let's see who of ya fine ladies will get a good time tonight." he looks so cocky I want to leave the room, but I sit tight, folding my hands over my chest. I glance sideways at Naomi, noticing she's looking a bit worried.
Katies hand has found its way to the inside of Cooks thigh and it drifts up and down while he leans forward to spin the bottle again. "I tell ya, whoever it lands on will have the best time of her life."
The bottles spins and spins, and I see Katie subtly stretching out, taking up more space so it most likely will point at her. It slows and for a second it looks like I will be the winner, but it barely passes me, landing on … Naomi. I instantly clench my jaw, willing myself not to react the way I ache to.
"Yes! Blondie! Me and you, my bedroom, now!" Cook swiftly stands up from an angry looking Katie. Her plan was not so foolproof after. It was rather stupid, actually.
Naomi stands up from beside me too, and I turn around surprised. I had no idea she would do it so willingly. She eyes his big grin wearily before giving him an eye roll, playfully stating "You're such an ass, Cook."
"You love it Naomikins! Come on, come to uncle Cookie." he wiggles his fingers at her, signaling her to follow him as he walks backwards. She giggles a bit, but follow him nonetheless. My mouth hangs open in alarm, I'm stunned to my very bone. This was NOT how this night was suppose to go.
Right before she exits the door to the hallway she turns around and says with a dead serious voice to the room "If I'm not back within twenty, send a rescue team." Then she disappears.
I hear Cook yell from upstairs "Where are ya birdie? My balls needs some scratching!"
I feel sick to my stomach, the effect of the narcotics taking a negative turn. I hold my belly and feeling myself actually go green. Then Katie awakes from her daze.
"What the actual fuck!" she stands up, waving her hands. Everyone turns to look at her.
"What is it Katie? It's the rules, they have to make monkey now!" Pandora states. My stomach churns again.
"No they don't have to, they can refuse, they just have to stay in the room! I can't see why he would want to tap that anyway, she's such a prude." I want to smack her for saying that, but it kind of reassured me a bit. They don't have to do it, in fact, they don't have to do anything.
"Actually Katie, he always talks about what a 'fit bird' Naomi is…" JJ says nervously.
I can't take it anymore and excuse myself. I just reach the toilet before I empty myself. I sit there heaving and weeping away some stray tears. What a shit fucking wank night.
After a few minutes I get up, telling myself that no one gets to see me like this. I fix my running make up and pop a chewing gum in my mouth. After staring intently into my own eyes for a few minutes, manning myself up, I nod to the mirror and reach for the door. I'm not going to be that person, I'm Emily, I'm fun and I'm sure as hell not jealous of a girl I've only known for a couple of weeks.
Don't think about his big hands all over her. Don't think about she kissing him. Don't think about they undressing each other.
I find Effy leaning to the wall outside, smoking a spliff and staring me down. I position myself next to her, stealing her smoke and inhaling deeply.
"What do you think they're doing?" I ask weakly. She has to know the answer. She knows everything. When no answers return, I turn to find her looking at me with a sincere face. I instantly know I don't want her answer and turn away from her penetrating orbs before they get the best of me.
"I don't know, Emily. Why don't you find out?" she snatches the spliff back and put it in her mouth.
I laugh bitterly. "And how exactly will I do that? Barge in one them doing it?" I sneer at my own words, almost tasting puke in my mouth again.
"Do as Katie, she went upstairs five minutes ago to eavesdrop." she shrug. My eyes widens. Of course she did.
I contemplated my options, but the haze clouding my judgement and the yearning in my veins made me swiftly turn and head for the stairs. Even though it probably would ruin my night.
When I slowly walk up the stairs, my steps getting heavier and heavier and the hammering in the chest getting louder and louder, I recognize another hammering. I look up to the roof window. The rain is making a steady beat against the glass, almost in sync to my own heartbeat.
As I reach the top of the stairs, I see Katie bending down beside a door, her ear firmly planted against the wood. Her brows are scrunched in concentration, and it doesn't look like she like what she's hearing. I wave her over to me, and she comes over with fire in her eyes. Her every move is a strain to not bash wildly around herself, at the same time as she's careful not to make any sound with her heels. I've seen this before, only last time it was when I stole her favorite doll when we were ten. I gulp inaudibly, bracing myself.
"What is it then?" I whisper, afraid anyone else will hear.
She huffs and seems to be holding back tears. Fuck, she's attached to him already. She's always been a bit jealous of him, and now with the new girl and everything. Oh double fuck, Naomi. I feel the need to break something, to fucking trash the place. Why does this always happens to me? I don't even know why I bother with people anymore.
"Well, I definitely heard laughter from Naomi, and it sounded pretty breathless." she stops, biting her lip while looking down before continuing. "And I'm pretty sure I heard the springs in the bed in a steady rhythm."
Just as the shock and disappointment drains my body and I feel like I can't breathe, the door to Cooks bedroom opens. Katie looks as taken aback as me, but turns around either way, standing tall. I place myself beside her, convinced my eyes will tell Naomi everything, but right now I don't care. I'm tired of being hurt and tossed around, and for once I'm fucking upset. She can't flirt with me and hold my hand and make me believe and then fuck off with Cook. The drugs makes this all seem more overbearing. I cross my arms, protecting myself.
Cook comes out first, laughing loudly, stumbling about. His clothes are a bit misplaced. She comes after, face visibly pink and laughing as much as him. When they catch the sight of the fearless Fitch with murder in their eyes, they stop.
Her stance tells me everything, she looks like a deer caught in the headlights.
.
Woah! I sense some trouble heading this way!
Spoilers for next chapter: It will be titled 'She's a hurricane' and will be from Naomi PoV.
What do you think happens now? Destruction?