Hello to the longest chapter in history!
I know that the last chapter left you all in despair, and it even had some of you disappointed. I'm sorry for that, but at the same time, I'm not. This was something I had planned from nearly the start of this story, and I could probably write for hours for the reasons I did it, but I won't because that'll bore you. In general, we all make mistakes, especially under the influence of alcohol. I've seen it too many times with my girlfriends, and I've also seen scenes that's similar to that one.
Okay, getting past that, I want to say I'm really happy you're all so invested in this story and I agree that Karen should be eaten by a shark. Emily though.. I hope that this chapter will clarify a few things, and that it lives up to your expectations. I really love writing this, and I have the rest of the story planned, have had for a while actually. And I'm sorry if it's not everyone's taste of cup. But I'm so so glad for everyone who like it and will continue to read. I want to make a story, and a believable one. It's based on own experiences, and I'm happy to share them with you. Woah.. Seemed like I ended up rambling anyway, eh?
One last thing - Go check out the story The Foreground by DesolateMoondust. I promise you that you won't get disappointed, it's a piece of art really.
I don't own skins.
Chapter 26: Love me again
Emily PoV
As I stood tripping on her doorstep I mentally prepared what I was going to say one last time in my head. Honestly, it had been the only thing that I'd been thinking about since I'd gotten sobered up. I had barely slept at all last night, so it was a rather new development - me being sober.
I had just gotten around to brush my teeth and wipe away my heavily smudged make up, but taking a shower was too much fuss, because I had something more important to do. And I hoped it was not too late.
A shaky breath escaped me as I stood watching the closed red door, and I felt the knots in my stomach tighten themselves. It was not at all a feeling I usually sported on these parts of town. My stomach was normally full of butterflies when I was about to see her, but this time … I didn't even know if she wanted to see me.
I felt roughed up, dirty and entirely tense at what was supposed to go down, but figured the longer I put it aside, the harder it was going to get. I looked at the time and noticed it was already after noon. She were probably up, and still hadn't answered to my hundreds of calls and texts. It was not promising at all.
I swallowed and closed my eyes as my hand darted ahead and pushed the button of the doorbell before the fight left me entirely. As I heard the resonance of the sound through the house, I suddenly caught myself in standing rocking on my heels and shaking uncontrollably. I was wringing my hands together, almost tearing off my fingers.
It was so unusual for me to stand out here and wait. Mostly I just ran through the doors and started looking for Naomi, as Gina had so kindly insinuated on numerous occasions that I should feel like home. And here I was standing out in the cold wondering what the hell is taking them so long. Maybe Naomi saw me through the curtains and don't want to talk to me? I hope she hadn't cut me off to that point, even though I deserved it. I wanted to make this right again.
I was about to ring the bell for the second time when the door suddenly flew open, and I got caught in windy blue eyes. We looked at each other with wide eyes for a minute. I noticed her wild look, unruly hair and make up free face. She looked incredibly tired and was just in her comfortable night clothes. I felt her study me too. Everything I had planned to say evaporated from my mind, and I just stared blankly at her.
Suddenly, like a jerk had found its way through us at the same time, we both blurted out "I'm sorry!" at the exact same time, and then looked at each other in wonder that we just did that. Until it registered in my brain what she'd just said.
"Wait, why are you sorry?" I nearly scowled at her in disbelief, not finding any reason what so ever for her to be sorry for.
"You know, the-"
I cut her off by moving towards her in a quick pace, capturing her bandaged hand I just noticed in my shaky hands, making her back up into a wall.
"What?" I ask with a trembling voice, "What happened?" I look up into her eyes, haven completely forgotten what we were talking about now that I see that she's hurt.
She looks anxiously into my eyes and biting her lip, contemplating what to say. Since she's taking so long, she's probably about to lie I figured, knowing her all too well.
"I… fell?" she comes up with in the end. So I was right then I thought.
"Like hell you did." I protested and started to take off the white clothing.
"Ems, don't." she protests silently, and it makes me stop my movements as I sigh with my eyes closed. She still uses my nickname, that's something. Finally I take a step back, understanding that I'm not allowed this proximity yet.
"Naomi, what really happened?" I asked. She looked at me with distressed baby blue irises, before taking her left hand and removing the rest of the bandage, revealing a beat up hand drenched in dried blood. I gasped out loud and moved closer again as to inspect it. Her beautiful, elegant hand - it almost looked like it was broken. I looked up into her eyes again, feeling a lump in my throat. "Is it because of me?" I whispered.
She avoided my gaze and tilted her head a little to the side "Well…" I gasped.
"Did you hurt yourself because of me?" I imagined her punching her beautiful hands numerously times into uneven rocks. It hurt me beyond what I could handle.
"No!" she exclaimed, "I didn't hurt myself … per say." she trailed off.
"Naoms.." I pleaded, feeling my jaw starting to tremble "what did you do?"
"I… I huh-" she swallowed before rushing it out in one breath "I punched Karen" and then scrunched her eyes shut.
My eyes, on the other hand, widened incredulously. I had a feeling I already knew the answer to my next question, but proceeded to ask it anyway.
"Why?"
"She… She said all these horrible things about you." she sniffed, looking down into my eyes. "About us." she whispered after a moment. Okay, so that was not my first guess.
"What did she say?"
"I'd rather not repeat it, Emily." she said tiredly, slumping against the wall.
I looked down, feeling a stream of tears on their way, and swallowed over and over to keep them at bay. It was getting harder and harder by the minute.
"Hey." I hear her say in a low voice. In a comforting voice even. I flinched away as she tried to grab my hand, turning around to wipe furiously at my eyes. "What is it?" she asks of my sudden avoidance.
"I don't deserve this." I state sadly, looking up into the empty ceiling to try to gather myself.
"You don't deserve what, exactly?" she asks confused from behind me. I turn around abruptly, looking at her with the probably most broken look I've ever sported.
"This. You. You caring for me, you not yelling at me and throwing my head first out the door. You saying you're sorry when you have nothing to be sorry about. You defending my honor when I was a jerk to you last night. I don't understand it Naomi. I don't." I realize that I'm hiccuping of crying so much by the end of that speech, that I have to hold for my belly because it hurts so much.
I can't see anything through the tears, but I suddenly feel some warm arms circling my shoulders and drawing me into her chest. I sob into her sweater, and try to breathe in a way that don't pains me. My hands instantly moves around her waist and holds her tight as I completely break down in her arms.
"Ssshh" she whispers tenderly into my ear, "I'll defend your honor 'till the day I die no matter what you do, okay?" I nod into her shoulder, gripping her tighter. Her soothing words helping me on the way to not behaving like an hysterical person. "But," she continues "we have to talk."
I nod again, moving away to dry my eyes and nose. God, I was a mess.
"Let's go upstairs, the folks are out." Naomi suggests, and I followed her up the stairs and into the living room where we sit in each end of a two seater sofa. She uses some time to resecure her hand with the bandage and I just sit watching her, back to fidgeting with my hands.
"I should probably explain myself… I had this whole speech made up, but I don't know anymore." I say while looking down.
"Hearing that you don't know if you want me or Karen was quite a shock." Naomi states coldly from beside me, making my head snap up.
"What makes you say that - I absolutely don't want Karen and I absolutely and solely want you." I clarified and tried to convey how true it was through my eyes. She looked at me for a while, before shifting her gaze down looking insecure and small.
"That's not what you said last night." she whispered.
I racked my brain to remember what happened and what Effy told me but came up with nothing. Nothing I could've said that implied this. But then again, there were huge black holes from last night.
"Naoms, I'm not gonna lie, there are a lot of stuff that's blanked out from last night."
"You don't remember?"
I shake my head.
"Well, what do you remember?"
"I, uh.. I remember sitting with Karen and catching up with her. She told me all these wild stories and then she got nostalgic and talked about the earlier days. And then it got more and more fussy the later it got, I'm not sure what was in that wine but it surely went straight to my head. I was feeling a bit sick after a while and then she suggested we'd move around a bit, or in her head it meant dancing, and so she dragged me to the dance floor and then one second later, or at least it felt like it, you dragged me out and yelled something at me. I remember feeling really guilty because I was supposed to spend the night with you, and I remember you being really upset. You asked me if I would still be with Karen if you never moved out here, and when I-"
"Hold up." Naomi interrupted me, holding up a finger hesitantly while looking at me skeptically, "I asked you if you would be with her if you and me weren't together."
"No, you must've said before you moved out here. Because that's what I answered to." I said dubiously.
"No Ems, even though I was smashed last night I remember everything clearly. I asked you if you would be with her if it weren't for me, and you said 'yeah, probably' and therefore I ran because you're apparently not quite sure about who you want to with if all it takes is for us not being together for you to go back to her." she said. Her eyes exposed her thoughts though. I could see fear in them. And pleading. And hurt. A lot of hurt.
I shot forwards and grabbed her left hand in both of mine, looking deeply into her eyes, praying that she listens to what I say.
"Naoms, that was not what I meant, you got to believe me," I said, half choking on my words. "I know how stupid I was, I know of how you have ignored all of my calls and Effy yelling at me whole last night. I know I should've been with you and not make you insecure by being around my ex all night catching up, but I would never ever go back to her. It was obviously a misunderstanding as I interpreted the question as of what I would've been doing if I had never met you, and that's why I said I probably would've been with her. Because without knowing you I would still be caught in her net and in her drama, I wouldn't have known how wonderful it is to have a healthy relationship with an amazing girlfriend like you. If you threw me out the window right now, which I deserve, I would not have gone running to her because A - she can never measure up to what you are and what we have, and B - now I know that she was really mean to you last night which made you punch her of all things. And since you're not a puncher at what I've understood, it must've been pretty mean."
"But…" she still looked unsure despite me trying to assure her "you let her touch you and flirt with you the whole night."
"I guess she touched me a little more than usual, but it wasn't that much, was it? And I guess when you say it, she was a bit more forth going than she use to be." I wondered out loud.
"Honey, she was eyefucking you from the moment you walked in. I wanted to strangle her. Did you seriously not notice that?" she asked incredulously. I pondered about it for a minute, stroking my thumb over her hand that was still in my grasp.
"Maybe you're right. But I didn't really take notice or care about it. If she had been like that with me months ago I would've swooned, because she never used to do that out in public in front of everyone, but last night… I guess it didn't have an impact on me what so ever, I didn't think much of it, because really - it made me feel nothing." The realization hit me hard at that. If Karen had put on the charms with me last night and I didn't even consider it for a second, it must mean…
I was sure in that moment then, that I was over Karen, like for real. She had always had this hold of me, but it had slowly ebbed away for every day I had spent with Naomi, and now… I was ruined for anyone else than Naomi. I smiled a bit to myself before catching a glimpse of a still apprehensive Naomi across from me.
"Hey," I prompted, yanking her a bit to me, looking into her eyes. "I only want you, you know that right? I'm really really sorry for being a twat last night, and I'm sorry I made you so unsure of me, but I'll do anything okay? God knows I'll never set a foot close to Karen again, she's poison."
"Are you sure? I mean, it's not so long ago you were with her, and-"
"I'm sure." I said a bit too loudly. "I'm really sure, and I'm really sorry, and I really want you back if you'll still have me? I promise to be faithful and not do anything for you doubt me. You're all that matters, really."
She nodded and looked down before seemingly swallowing a lump in her throat.
"And I'm really sorry for last week too." I added.
"What? What about last week?" she looked up from her furrowed brows.
"About avoiding talking about my family situation. I guess that was one of the reasons I hung around Karen, because she didn't know of it. And I know that you just want the best for me and protect me, and I've realized that not talking about it with anyone have made it hurt even more."
"You can talk to me anytime, you know that right?" she gripped weakly back with her hand, shifting back to her caring stance.
"Yeah." I breathed out, before a big grumble erupted from my stomach. Naomi chuckled a bit, like she always did when this happened. And her laugh, it was like music to my ears. When I laid barfing into the toilet at home at four this morning I wasn't even sure I'd ever hear it again.
"Hungry Ems?" she asked, looking at me with a softer look.
"Yeah, haven't really eaten today." I admitted. Her eyes shot open.
"What?" she asked out loud, shocking herself at the volume.
"Well yeah, I was too nervous to talk to you."
"Okay, but I was just making my hangover omelette when you came over. I'll make more for us." she offered, already on her way to standing.
"Wait!" I stopped her. She gave me a questioning glance. "I don't need, I mean… I feel like I don't deserve you being so nice to me right now." She just waved it away.
"It's just food Ems, plus you look like hell. No offense." she said before scurrying into the kitchen to make herself busy with breakfast. I moved to the kitchen table to sit and watch her while she worked. She seemed to function well with one beat up hand. I wanted to join in, but didn't want to make a fuss, plus the hangover made the world faintly spin around its axes as I walked. I took great pleasure in watching her body when it occurred to me -
"Are we okay?" I asked her when she took two plates over to the table.
"I'm still here if you want me." she answered casually.
"Naomi." I took her hand before she could work the cutlery. Her eyes lifted to mine. "I really want us to work. Of course I want you, that's what I've said all along. I think the question is, do you still want me?" I asked, a sudden vulnerable feeling taking over. She must've sensed it, because she moved around the table before she was crouching beside me, looking up into my troubled eyes.
"Can you forgive me?" she asked, and it was the last thing I expected to hear.
"Wh-what?" I took a double take.
"I mean, I'm also sorry for last night. I wasn't a good girlfriend to you. I knew you were out of it, far from okay really, when I took you out of the party... I should've taken you home, gotten you into bed and talked to you today. Instead I yelled at you and made you cry, and I'm not proud of it at all. I mean, you being all cuddly with your ex made me feel like shit, but me making you feel like shit in return is not what I wanted. And I see that I also was in the wrong. So… can you forgive me?" she rambled.
I looked between her eyes for a few moments, not really believing what I was hearing. Not really able to wrap my head around that she's actually this incredible person. Then I lunged myself into her arms, burying my nose in her shoulder and hair while she did the same with me. I felt it seep through my heart then. Love. And again I could feel the urge to burst out with the words. But really, I didn't want it to say it as a reason for her to take me back when we were in a wobbly faze. So I held it back and instead squeezed her tighter and muttered into her skin.
"God, I can't believe I was so lucky to get you as a girlfriend."
I meant every word of it, because when I was out making her jealous without a valid reason, she had beaten herself up because she didn't protect me in a moment where she had the right to do exactly what she did. And just her thinking about and apologizing for it, it was a level of caring I had not experienced from someone before. I could feel her smile and finally my heart settled its painful beats, because now I was sure that we were going to be okay.
We sat there for a long while, just hugging each other, learning to be safe in each others arms again. She needed to trust me again, and I needed to feel that she was there. When we finally drew back, she captured my lips in a small, but sweet, kiss that made all the knots in my body go away.
We took our seats again and started to dig into the food. I could feel there still was a bit of tension in the air, as to be expected, but I really wanted us to go back to the easy banter we always seemed to do. This being on edge was getting on my nerves. And I loved her, goddammit, I needed us to get back to normal.
Just when I was about to open my mouth and say something to break the tension, she did it instead.
"So Ems, I threw my cellphone in the sea last night." she cleared her throat and looked at me sheepishly. I couldn't hold back a surprised laugh at that.
"What?" I exclaimed, amused.
As she told me the story of what happened after she left the party, I felt the last bits of tension leave my body. Not because of what she said, mind you, that made my heart soar for her. But because she hadn't been ignoring my calls like I believed she had.
"Ems?" she said quietly, her hands still brushing through and caressing my hair. We had moved into the lounge, where there was a sofa you could make into a bed and a small tv. We had started out watching a bit of telly, but the hangover soon made us turn down the volume and in the end we muted it entirely and just laid there, waiting for the severe headache to be taken away with the painkillers we had taken.
My head was on her shoulder as she lazily played with my hair. We hadn't really been talking about anything important for a while, I was just incredibly happy to be with her. To not have ruined the best thing that had happened to me.
"Mmm?" I murmured, not even opening my eyes I was so content.
"What was it like being with Karen?"
The question made me a bit more awake, and I turned to look into her eyes, my hand finding its way around her waist.
"I mean.." she continued as she saw my look, "you've told me bits, but how was it really, being with her?"
I lay my head down on her shoulder again, searching for the right words to describe the turbulent relationship that was me and Karen.
"It wasn't entirely horrible. We had our good times." I start, feeling the need to be completely honest with her. It truly was time that I told her about everything. "I liked her from when she moved out here. She was older than me, and all the boys at school liked either her or Effy, and there was I, little Emily, silently joining in on team Karen. I found myself hanging around Effy and Freddie all the time just in case Karen should come over and say something to him. I wasn't as outgoing back then, so I never dared to make contact with her. About a year later she figured it out, and absolutely loved the attention of it. Always gave me knowing looks, but never did anything about it. But then suddenly… I don't know, something happened and she started to secretly meet up with me at parties where we fooled around a bit. But then afterwards when we got back to the others she acted like nothing happened before she usually went home with a boy. This went on for a while, and every time I thought that the next time maybe, just maybe, it would be me she went home with."
I took a break to wet my lips and snuggle further into Naomi.
"One party where we were drunk out of our minds we finally went further. It was fumbly and awkward and far from the best experience in my life, but it was also new and exciting and something I figured I wanted to do more. It helped me really understand that I was gay. The only one I confided in was Effy, and even though she wasn't ecstatic about Karen, she was happy I was finding myself. Karen avoided me for a bit after that, but then suddenly she wanted to hang out just the two of us and so on. That was before last summer, and it was her last couple of months here before she would move and continue with her education. We went on some date-like meetings and we had more fumbly sex. She always drew a line though, and it seemed like she wasn't as into it as I was. I suspect she was more in love with the attention from me than actually me. I told her about my dreams and thoughts and so on, and she were the first to actually listen to me. So in that way, she was special. And it got so good in the end that I wanted us to go official, I was finally brave enough to stand up for someone, to face the world as long as she was by my side. When I told her, though, she freaked and ran straight into the arms of Cook. I thought we were exclusive by that point, but we were obviously not. It broke my heart a little then, and I sunk further into myself, the braveness I felt from her disappeared and I was back to being Emily the doormat. But my feelings for her never did go away, and she knew it. So whenever she was feeling for it, she drew me in again for a couple of days or weeks, and I always let her because I thought she was the one for me, you know. But it never worked out. We seemed to click so well when we were together, but it wasn't enough for her. I'm not even sure she's gay or bi or whatever. But it's thankfully over now." I said, and smiled a bit bitterly to myself, remembering back to the hurt she caused me. It was quiet for a bit, Naomi never stopping caressing my hair, and me contemplating old memories that seemed a lifetime ago.
"Did you love her?" she whispers after a while. I bite my lip in concentration as to how to answer this crucial question.
"I thought I did. I even told her once or twice. She was really lovely to me sometimes, she really cared, so I even thought she could love me back. But now I know that I never loved her, it was just an illusion. That's not how love's supposed to be. When I think back at it, it seems more like fascination and desperation. It's not something I want to go back to, ever."
"And if she'd change? Would you go back to her then?" Naomi asked then. I turned to give her a soft kiss, before burrowing my face in her neck, deeply inhaling her smell.
"No. Not ever. Not when I got you." I said. I felt her smile to herself and my heart fluttered. Had I finally assured her? I hoped so.
She kissed my hairline a couple of times before leaning down to whisper in my ear.
"I would never be like that with you, you know. I would never hide you from the world or be ashamed to be with you."
"I know." I smiled, and sunk further into her.
"And you can tell me anything." she continued. I sighed in response, but knowing what I said before, I needed to share what I was feeling and thinking. I needed to talk about my mum.
"Okay, I…" I trail off, lifting off of her and sitting indian style beside her. She looked up into my eyes with something resembling … love? I couldn't be sure, but I sure felt loved right now.
"I think it's time I tell you about my mum." I murmur, feeling that I'd rather not discuss it, as I'm sure I'll just cry or get angry. Naomi nods at me as to continue. I take a deep breath, steeling myself.
"It… It's like she hasn't even acknowledged what I said, and now she's getting worse about me taking over the store too. And I hate that I have to work with her when she's being like that. Every break she's always talking about how it will be when I finish school, and maybe I'll find a nice boy on some of the neighbor islands, and whenever I try to protest it's like she's deaf. Whoever works with us always notices, but they don't say anything, just give me that look of pity. Like they feel so sorry for me that have a mother who is so rejecting. And it's not better when I'm home, but at least I have some help from the rest of the family. I don't know what to do Naoms, it's not like I can avoid her when we're living and working together either." I get more and more broken up the more I talk. This is really confession day, and I feel it taking a toll on my emotional state.
"Maybe we'll just have to show her that this is real and it's something she have to deal with." Naomi speaks while taking my hand in hers. I smiled through my tears, while gripping back.
"How?" I ask strangled.
"I dunno, I could come over to yours and we could make out right in front of her?" she smiles a bit, stroking the back of my hand. I chuckle and shake my head, thanking god for having this person in my life that can make me laugh when I'm so far down.
"She'll probably disown me before dismembering you. I wouldn't put you through that. I just wish there was some silent way for me to stand up where she can't catch me for being rude or what not." I muse. Naomi drags me down to her before kissing my mouth, then my cheeks where my tears were drying. It was so loving that I couldn't do anything but sink into her comfort.
"Maybe there is." she says after a while.
"What?" I ask, curiously. She scoots forward, making me miss her warmth instantly. I lay back watching her with interested eyes as she moved around the room, finding her iPad and a Macbook. She comes back over to me, gives me the computer and motions for me to open it. I do it with a confused face as she logs onto the iPad. I see her opening Facebook and I say the first thing that pops into my head.
"You're not meaning I write an update about how I'm all into fanny?" I say with wide eyes. She laughs out loud and kiss my mortified face.
"No, just log onto Facebook dumbarse, and wait." she winks at me, before turning away so I can't see her screen. I huff and do like she said, going through some notifications since the last time while I wait. I'm seriously expecting an update or some sorts from her, but when the little rectangle box in the corner comes up my breath hitch.
Naomi Campbell has listed you as her girlfriend.
I look up to find Naomi adorably looking at me. I quickly check the accept button, before slinging myself on her, peppering her face with kisses as she giggles deliciously.
"Just to check, your mum is on Facebook, right?" she asks breathlessly.
"Yes, and she'll go crazy since everyone in my family everywhere will know it now." I smile deviously, before cupping her cheeks and giving her a deep kiss. She moans into it, her hands moving around my body dragging me down with her so we're lying side by side, kissing blissfully. What started out like a hot and desperate kiss calmed down into a slow and heavenly movement. I caress her cheek as we break apart for oxygen, thinking that she's really something. She smiles happily at me.
"I know it's not much, but we'll get there, yeah?" she says. I shake my head.
"It's everything, Nai." I smile, making her eyes light up. I kiss the side of her mouth before situating myself in her arms, glancing at the mute screenplay on the television. My eyes begin to droop then, by both exhaustion and contentment. And I drift into sleep with a smile on my face, because I still have her.
I wake up a bit later of a low chuckling beside me. I open my eyes slowly to find that the room is darker than before, that someone turned off the light in the ceiling and the television. There is, however, a soft glow from beside me, and I turn on the pillow I'm now evidently lying on, to find Naomi lying straight forward in the sofa, while I was lying across. She's laughing at something on the screen of her iPad, and I strain my neck to get a better view, but to no avail, as my eyes are all blurry from my sleep.
"What is it?" I ask hoarsely as I rub at my eyes, sitting up. She chuckles again.
"Look at all these comments, Ems. I actually think that someone had a heart attack as they saw my relationship update. And someone are all like 'I knew you were of that kind, Naomi!' and so on. It's hilarious! Yours update is also full of different reactions, I'm pissing myself here."
"What! Let me see!" I instruct, snatching the iPad from her, and scrolling down her page. I see a lot of comments from people I don't know, obviously people she know from Bristol, and fuck me are they amusing. There were a fine line between 'WHAT', 'congrats' and comments like Cooks 'You muff monsters finally gonna let me watch now? No? Well, good for you anyway Naomi, she must've given you a great orgasm for you to agree to this.'. I shook my head and looked at the feed with great interest, what everyone had to say about our relationship. We had gotten a great deal of likes too. As I had read through all of the comments she got, I clicked in on my side to see what people I knew had written.
And the first comment made a big grin take over my face. It was my aunt on my mother side, saying that she's so happy and proud of me, and that Naomi looks like a beautiful girl. At least homophobia wasn't something genetic, it was just my mother being a fuckhead.
I felt Naomi circle my waist from behind and lay her head on my shoulder as we read through the comments together. It was some dirty ones from James, and some well wishes from friends along with the general ones from acquaintances. It was nothing from mum, not even a like, but I knew that if she hadn't seen it yet, she would soon, and she would see everyone accepting us. I prayed it would make her feel bad for what she's doing, but wouldn't hold my breath.
I closed the iPad, turning my head to kiss Naomi passionately. It drew a small sigh from her, before she delicately cupped my cheek.
"So, what do you want for supper Ems, ribs or chicken skewers? It is sunday after all." She asks as she suddenly leaned back, her fingers tracing my collarbone.
"It's supper time already?" I exclaim, looking down at the watch on my phone.
"Yeah, we slept for a while. So what do you want?"
"Anything." I smile.
"No, choose." She smirks.
"What's the least trouble to make?"
"Nu-huh, you're getting what you crave, and I'm making it for you." She answers, a spark in her eyes as she looks into mine.
"Alright, since you insist, I choose ribs." I smile gratefully before pecking her lips.
"Yes, madame." She answers nonchalantly before she rose and moved towards the door.
"But what will you eat?" I blurt out, always forgetting that she's vegan.
"I'll cook some onions and vegetables on the side, been craving it all afternoon." She opens the door, and move to get out.
"Wait, I'll help." I offer, already halfway standing.
"No! You rest! Check your pm's on Facebook, 'cause I got a few there too." She smiled and motioned for me not to follow. I sat back looking at her skeptically. She was really pampering me here. Not that I was complaining.
"Okay," I said hesitantly, "but yell if you need any help."
"I'll yell if something catches fire, since I'm not the best chief you'll find." she laughs before turning and walking into the kitchen. I hear voices and figures Kieran and Gina is around. I open the Macbook and surely enough there are a few messages like she said.
One of them is a long one from my aunt who commented on the update before, where she tells me in more detail how I must be strong because she knows how my mum is and how this couldn't have been easy for me and so on. I felt a sudden sadness that she lives further into the country and it's not everyday I see her, but felt incredibly lighter now I knew I had more people rooting for me. I quickly answered her with a thanks and asked if she maybe could send a message to my mum since I had no luck in getting her to accept my sexuality, and she responded immediately with a 'sure'.
Then there was some pm's with either congratulations or how shocked they were and questions of how long I've been gay. It was also a message from Katie telling me that mum was absolutely freaking out, and had shut herself inside the office and wanted no disturbance what so ever. I didn't know how to react to that, because she had seen it, and it surely had an impact, but was it the impact I wanted it to be? I didn't know, and thought that it was really unfair for a daughter to fight for her mothers love and acceptance while it should've been a given.
"Mum and Kieran had already made ribs, and luckily it was some leftovers for you." Naomi smiled from the doorway, holding two plates with supper. She then motioned with her head for me to follow her into the kitchen.
Gina and Kieran were snuggled up in the living room watching something on the television as I sat down with the table where Naomi had arranged what looked like a great meal. I smiled at her and sat down when Gina called from the living room.
"Hey Emily, lovely to see you!"
"Hi." I answered back, leaning a bit back so I could see them through the doorway.
We smiled at each other before I turned back to Naomi who was already eating her onions with great involvement. The sight of her made my heart go warm, and I had to remind myself to look at what I'm eating and not just her.
"So, any news?" She asks, taking a second serving.
"Well, my mum knows, and she's certainly not happy about it." I mumble between mouthfuls.
"Stay here tonight then, so you don't have to see her before tomorrow."
"Yeah, I think I'll do that." I smiled at her, figuring a night with her body heat within arms reach would maybe be the best thing in the world right now.
"Good." She smiled lazily at me, and poured us some soda.
"Oh, I must set the alarm before I forget it." I remembered, taking up my phone.
"What time are you getting up tomorrow?"
"At half past five, I leave at half past six." I say.
"Shit, that's early." she comments, looking at me with sympathy. I grimace at her, sticking out my tongue, before I finish what I was doing on my phone.
Our feet touched lightly under the table as we ate up the food, resulting in me, yet again, getting tired as hell.
"I'm knackered." I say as I lean back in my chair, eyes all droopy.
"I can see." Naomi smirks from across me. I scowl at her.
"How are you not tired?"
"I am, but I'm also happy." she smiles, which miraculously made butterflies erupt in my full stomach.
"I'm happy too." I murmur, before hearing a weak 'aaaw' from the living room. Gina was probably eavesdropping. I swear to god she's our biggest fan.
"Let's go to bed sleepyhead." She gets up and takes my hand, hoisting me to my feet. We say our good nights to Gina and Kieran before she leads me down to her room.
"Can I take a shower?" I ask as we arrive, "I didn't really get the time to fix myself this morning."
"Sure," she pecks my lips, "but I did, and I don't think it's such a good idea to join with my hand and all." she holds it up as evidence. "So be quick, alright? I'll keep the bed warm." she says cutely.
"Yes." I breathe out before scurrying into the bathroom. It was probably new record in shortest shower ever, and when I jumped into some shorts and a big t-shirt of hers, I found my phone to check Facebook one last time before going to bed.
I open the door, still engrossed in the newly made comments and walks blindly to the bed and sits down on the edge. I snicker to myself.
"People are crazy." I say.
Just when I discard my phone and lifts my feet onto the mattress she grabs them and pulls me towards her. I squeak at first, but it shortly quiets down when I find her in just a pair of small knickers. My eyes shamelessly pervs her up and down.
"If people are crazy, that means you and I also are crazy." she says as she guides me to sit on her lap. My hands drift up her long sexy legs behind me before I lay them gently behind her neck. Her hands disappear under my t-shirt straight away.
"I don't know about being crazy, but you drive me crazy." I whisper before closing the gap, trapping her with my wet hair. I feel her bandaged hand tracing up and down my spine, successfully making me shiver, while her left hand drifts further and further down. When it drifts under the shorts I'm wearing I have to break away from Naomi's magical tongue to look at her apprehensively.
"Are you sure that's a good idea, I mean with your hand and everythi-"
She cuts me off with another kiss, her hand successfully drifting under the material of the shorts to land straight on my buttocks where she massages and make suggestful movements which is totally unfair if she aren't taking it further.
"Maybe my hand is out for this round, but my mouth isn't broken." she mumbles against my lips before she discards my t-shirt and start kissing down my torso.
It's not broken at all is my last coherent thought for the night.
The lull of my alarm waked me up the next morning. With one eye open my hands fumbled around the sheets before it detected the annoying thing and managed to slumber it for another five minutes. I happily laid down again, not really wanting to leave this bed.
Last night was amazing, and so much more than I hoped for when I showed up that morning. I couldn't believe it had ended in us revealing our relationship for the world and her taking me to bed before making sweet love to me like we did every night. It was like a dream, and I was getting more and more sure that my feelings were reciprocated. They had to be, because the way she looked at me last night… I sighed of the memory.
Then I reached out my hand to find her warm and naked sleeping form, only… there were no form to be found. My eyes opened quickly at that, and I saw the empty side beside me. I swallowed thickly and tried to think rationally. Yes, we had had the biggest row until now - but it surely couldn't lead to her being so wonderful to me and then leaving me behind, right?
It got colder by the minute, so I quickly searched around for the clothes I wore last night and slung them on me in a frenzy. She was just out for a smoke or for a pee… probably. I needed to stay calm and keep my head from running off.
I took one of her large wraps and secured it around me, loving the smell of her radiating from it. I sneaked through the dark hallways and climbed the stairs before I found myself standing in the middle of the lighted kitchen, a wonderful smell invading my nostrils and making my stomach growl in hunger.
"Oh Ems, you're up! I made pancakes!" Naomi's happy voice came from the stove. My confused and wide eyes shifted to her, and saw that, yes, there were pancakes stashed on a big plate. On the table syrup and sugar and different jams were lined up.
"You… You made pancakes?" I ask, hearing the shock in my voice. She must've been up for a very long time, and I had no idea how she even woke up with no phone to set an alarm on. Maybe she could do it with her iPad? I didn't know.
She came over and kissed me out of my thoughts, before setting the plate down on the table.
"Come on Ems, gotta eat it before it gets cold." she urges me.
I sit down, still a bit shellshocked, but picking up a pancake never the less. I couldn't believe that I for a second thought she'd had second doubts about us. She was pampering me again. Being the most wonderful girlfriend one could have.
"This is-"
"Delicious? I know." Naomi moans as she digs into a pancake with blueberries on, cutting me off.
"No-, I mean yes that too, but god, I can't believe you did this. It's perfect." I smile.
"I wanted to give you a good start of the day. Is it working?"
"It's working very well, thank you." I chuckled and filled my pancake with all of the choices there was on the table.
"Oi, Em!" she snorts as she watches me, "I don't think that'll taste very good."
"Wanna bet on that?" I ask before shoveling my entirely too filled up pancake into my mouth, resulting in the contents flowing out of it and onto my hand, but also down my chin. We both laugh, and I lick my hand clean before taking another bite. It was messy and it was delicious, and it made Naomi laugh of me. It was everything I wanted to do before work … for the rest of my life.
"Here, you missed a spot." Naomi's hand shot out to wipe at the side of my mouth before bringing it to her own to lick it off. "You're right, that does taste good." she smiles, before stealing some from my plate.
"Oi!" I complain, dragging it away from her, but she answers with bringing her hand around my neck to drag me into a kiss. I'm a willing participant to put it like that. Her tongue darts into my mouth and she ends the kiss with lightly sucking on my bottom lip.
"Actually," she frowns a bit, "I changed my mind, that was pretty gross." And she goes to wipe at her mouth, but I see the smirk she's trying to hide.
"Liar!" I pout, crossing my arms.
"Yeah okay, liar." she finally smirks, giving me a small kiss, before reloading my plate with more pancakes. She knows me too well.
I eat a few more pancakes and steal a few more pancake tasting kisses from her before I finally feel my belly scream in protest for more food. I pat it as I lean back in my chair. I always found myself getting entirely too full with this table, both Naomi and Gina finding my appetite amusing. I'm secretly suspecting they're testing out how much I can eat before I literally explode.
"Thank you so much for breakfast, it was lovely." I said in gratification, looking at her through half open satisfied eyes.
"I'm glad you liked it." She smiled, before starting to clean of the table. I move to help her, but she takes my wrist and spins me around before embracing me.
"You should go get ready so you won't be late for work. I'll take care of this, yeah? Oh, and those clothes that were scattered about my room, my mum cleaned them, so you have some clothes by the end of the bed that's yours."
"You're a godsent." I say honestly.
"Yeah yeah, now go take a shower!" she slaps my bum before she continues cleaning up. Her caring and thoughtfulness have made my libido started running despite all the responsibilities I'm facing with a workday. I don't think she would've had any problems in convincing me to stay now.
"You could always join me." I suggest, watching her walking around in a small tank top. I could see she didn't have a bra on either, and it was really hard to restrain myself.
"No." she looks at me pointedly, "I won't be the reason of you getting fired, so you get your sweet ass downstairs now." She lifts her eyebrows in a challenge. I huff.
"You spoil all my fun." I pout.
"If you want fun, you can come by after work, and we'll do something fun." she smirks, eyeing me with that look. I literally feel myself coming undone there and then, my knees wobbling beneath me.
"You bet I will." I rush out, before running out of the room, hearing her chuckle behind me. I needed to get out of there before I did something stupid, and to be honest, I was ready to get this workday started - and ended. To get back to her and her addicting self.
I showered and stole some of her make up, which was normal to do by now, and found some jeans and a black shirt I had forgotten about in the pile of clothes. I put them on and fluffed up my hair, before being satisfied. I looked at the watch on my phone to see that time was running short. I hurried to the door and rang the doorbell to alert her I had to go right now.
"Hang on, just one second!" She yelled from upstairs as I stood there tripping, looking at the time. Finally she came bouncing down the stairs with some kind of package in her hands.
"What's that?" I ask, eyeing it with great interest.
"This," she holds up the package, "is your packed lunch."
I laugh out loud and can't stop grinning as I take it from her. "Now we're really jumping to the domestic part."
"It's three sandwiches, one with ham, one with bacon and one vegan I want you to try." she says cutely, leaning in to kiss my nose.
"Come here," I whisper, taking hold of her face and bringing our lips together. Her hands come up to grab the collars of my shirt, pulling me closer by them.
"Mmmm, by the way, you look so good in these clothes. Please come back later." she says against my lips, switching between grabbing and smoothing down my shirt in what seemed like a bit of desperation.
I lifted my phone from my pocket to see it's five minutes since I should've been going, and understand I need to wrap this up. We lean in for one last kiss, my hand around her neck as the other held my lunch, while she held my waist.
"I love you." I breathed out as we parted, having no way what so ever to stop the words falling out. I had never felt so loved as I had been since we made up yesterday, so I just had to return the gesture. I knew that she loved me too because of her actions, and I was prepared to hear the words and swoon the whole day at work, but instead I felt her hands freeze on my waist and her eyes widen. She looked hastily between my eyes before swallowing.
"That's… nice." She says in the end, looking all too panicky for this. I remember the time again, and know that this is not the place for this conversation.
"Yeah... it is." I say and scrunched my eyebrows while looking doubtfully at her. I know she love me. I know her.
In defeat I stepped back, and walked away as she closed the door behind me. I felt my heartbeat increase in trepidation. I had seen it in her eyes this morning and more times last night. She loved me. I knew her, because she was in my bones. I could feel it in every move and every caress. I could feel it in everything she did. But she was obviously still insecure about something. I sighed, dragging my hands through my hair before fishing out the phone from my pocket. I spelled out a quick message for Effy.
I told her I love her, and now I think she's running again.
Just after I sent it I remembered how early it was. Not that Effy had a circadian rhythm like anyone else since she wasn't much of a sleeper, but it was still a risk to expect answers so early. But I shouldn't have worried, because just a few seconds later a ping came from my phone.
I'm on it.
The answer calmed my heartbeat a bit. Trust Effy to get to the bottom of things.
.
Effy for the rescue!
Tell me what you think, I'll take everything I can get. It helps me getting a grasp on what was good and what was not.