Note on the German:
Alle Gute zum Geburtstag = Happy birthday, literally "all good things for your birthday".
Hoch soll er leben… Drei mal hoch = similar to the happy birthday song, "high shall he live... three times high" (yes, I know, terrible translation).
Every time a member of the 104th turned twenty-one, the weeks leading up to the big event were met with great excitement. This would be the last of the twenty-first birthday parties, however. Armin was the youngest and this was his turn.
He awaited the day with some trepidation. While he'd been coming along on the 104th's booze cruises for a long time now (always as a designated person to walk his friends home), this would be the first time he'd be drinking himself. He always liked to think of himself as being a level-headed and rational person; it was only a matter of time before he found out what he was like under the influence. One thing he could be certain of was that it would be a fun night, and despite the antics, he would be surrounded by good friends.
Dressed in his favorite argyle sweater vest, with khaki chinos and his "space cadet" shoes as Eren called them, Armin met Mikasa and Eren in their common room. "Do you want our presents now?" Eren asked excitedly, thrusting a brightly-wrapped box towards him.
Mikasa gave Eren a look of vague annoyance. "Eren, we're supposed to wait until we get to Schultzy's," she reminded him.
"Why can't I just give it to him now?" Eren grumbled. "That way I don't have to carry this box all the way to the Ave and Armin doesn't have to carry what's inside the box all the way home."
"It's okay, Eren!" Armin said with a smile, "If you guys agreed to open gifts at the bar, then I want to wait until then." Clearly there was something planned for him. Having seen eleven twenty-first birthdays before his, this was no surprise, but he found himself slightly disappointed that he had not yet figured out what the scheme was.
"Let's go," Mikasa said as she grabbed her keys off the kitchen counter and opened the door for the boys. "We wouldn't want Armin to be late for his own birthday party."
Their apartment was on the other side of Greek Row, overlooking U Village. Other than Annie, they lived further from the Ave than anyone else. It was early in the evening— only 7:00— but that was in their favor. Armin was terrified when they drank well into the early hours of the morning. That's when people were mugged, and Armin was no good at self-defense.
"There's the birthday boy!" Sasha yelped, thoroughly surprising Armin. She was behind him, carrying something absolutely massive in several garbage bags duct taped together. Armin felt a burst of fear at the sight. What in the blazes did the group have planned that necessitated whatever Sasha carried over her head?
"Hello, Sasha!" Armin exclaimed in greeting, a smile spreading across his face despite his apprehension. "Is your week going well?"
"I don't have any exams," Sasha said excitedly. "Otherwise, I'd be unable to celebrate, and that would just be awful. Do you know what you're getting to drink?"
Armin did not want to quite think about that yet. The first (and last) time he'd been drinking was on the mildly disastrous trip to Vancouver, B.C. that Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie had spearheaded. There Armin had his first taste of alcohol, and the 104th had earned their rather unfortunate title. "No," he finally said, "but I certainly don't want to go as hard as Connie."
Sasha let out a loud laugh. "Connie made bad life choices, for having an exam the next day."
He looked up to see the rest of the 104th gathered before Schultzy's, each with a brightly colored package or bag. He took in a deep breath, preparing for the night ahead. The first thing to greet him was an onslaught of "happy birthday, Armin!", a few voices in German adding their own "Alle Gute zum Geburtstag!".
Before Armin even knew what was happening, he was swept off his feet. The strong hands holding him up like Simba could only be Reiner's. "Bertholdt, help me here!" Reiner grunted.
Armin had seen this several times before, but even with that preparation, he was not ready for being half-lifted, half-tossed into the air by the two men, a chorus of "Hoch soll er leben, hoch soll er leben, drei Mal hoch" belted by his German friends. Even Annie joined in, clearly amused by the look of terror that must be on his face.
Feeling thoroughly scrambled, Armin was finally placed back on his feet. The world spun around him for a moment and he felt as though he was going to be sick. But he was too sober to feel sick, he decided, and still feeling dizzy he walked into Schultzy's.
"We have a reservation," Marco said to the hostess, her eyes widening at the sight of twelve people crowding the entrance. "Birthday party for Arlert."
"Ah, yes…" the hostess murmured, grabbing several menus automatically and leading the group past a sign that read "This area is reserved".
The group collectively mobbed the free tables, pushing them together and arranging the chairs so that Armin sat at the head. On his right sat Eren, on his left sat Mikasa. His heart was swelling with joy at the sight of his friends lined up on either side. The whole of the 104th had come— wisely, Jean had been seated far from Eren. Krista was chirping something about how Armin should get the alcoholic root beer float while Ymir argued that Armin should go fast and hard with a vodka slamminade. Reiner was pushing for a German beer, while Connie said that Armin needed to have the whiskey cider.
"Guys, guys," Armin blubbered, feeling slightly overwhelmed. "I didn't realize you felt so impassioned about my first legal drink… in the U.S., that is."
"Of course we do!" Eren yelled back. "I have money riding on this!"
Armin had seen all of this before, but it was beyond overwhelming when it was directed at him. With everyone was taking bets, Armin had to make a choice: whether he chose the drink that sounded good to him or if he supported the one who would use the money gained most wisely.
Just as their waitress (she looked terrified, and justifiably so) came to their table, Armin decided that Krista's bid was simultaneously the best-tasting and also the best place for the money to go. Armin held off until the very end, when with a slightly wavering voice he said, "I'll have the vanilla vodka with root beer?"
The waitress let out a small chuckle. "Are you the one celebrating a birthday?"
"Yes," Armin admitted, preemptively pulling his driver's license out of his wallet. "Here."
"Thank you, and happy birthday," the waitress said as she returned the ID back to Armin. She jotted down the last of their large order and returned to the bar.
An excited chatter erupted around the table as everyone decided what they were having for dinner. Unsurprisingly, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie lamented the lack of real German food, while Sasha debated with Connie over how much food she could order without completely trashing her budget. Armin decided that he only wanted a side of mashed potatoes; he never ate much food anyway but he knew better than to drink on an empty stomach.
An excited silence fell over the group as the waitress returned with their drinks; Armin marveled at how she could keep the drinks and people straight. "Do you know what you want?" she asked genially, but by the forced smile on her face, she was terrified at the prospect of running everyone's orders to the kitchen. The only one who will be really picky is Jean, Armin thought, inwardly chuckling. Sasha's order would just be massive.
They would have to tip their waitress well, especially if the party went down the road he'd seen other twenty-first birthdays go. After she left, Eren turned to look down the length of the table, tapping his glass with a fork to get everyone's attention.
"Armin has selected the alcoholic root beer float!" Eren announced. "The final winner of the first legal drink bet is Krista Lenz. Fork your money over!"
With grumbles, the 104th fished out their wallets and pulled out the proper amount of cash ($10) to Krista. She gathered her winnings with grace, grinning from ear to ear. Krista would put that money to good use. Armin hoped that she would put a good chunk of it towards their tip.
"Time for the toast," Marco proclaimed, lifting up his tequila sunrise. "Happy birthday to our space cadet and not-so-secret genius, Armin Arlert!"
Armin could feel his face grow red, though it was more out of happiness than embarrassment. All around him, his friends raised their glasses. "To Armin," they cried out, as loud as they possibly could. Armin could not help but notice the few nasty looks cast his way by other patrons, but he ignored them. Tonight was his night.
And with that, he downed his first legal drink.
Dinner was, as always, rather rowdy. Sasha scarfed her food as fast as she could; the 104th had tried to keep pace with her, but there was simply no competing with Sasha. Reiner and Bertholdt ate off each other's plates; Jean and Eren argued over anything and everything. Today they argued over whether high-priced liquor was nasty. They seemed to share in their vehement hatred of scotch, but when it came to bourbon, apparently Eren had no taste and Jean was the height of sophistication.
Unfortunately, since it was a school night the amount of drinking that could occur was minimal. Normally Ymir and Reiner would try to out-drink the other, but tonight Reiner simply settled for refilling his beer; Ymir tried to make her own whiskey cider last a while. Armin was unsure whether he was grateful for the mildness on everyone's part. While he did not want to disturb other patrons on a week night, there was something wonderful in watching the chaos that ensued whenever the 104th partied a little too hard.
After their plates had been cleared away and their bills settled (Krista used all her earnings on the tip), in concert everyone slammed their present on the table, Sasha's garbage bag monstrosity swamping the cramped space. "It's time for the second competition of the night: whose gift wins the best gift award," Eren proclaimed. "Who's going to admit defeat by going first?"
Mikasa shoved her parcel towards Armin. "I didn't care about winning the competition. I just thought you would like this."
Armin carefully undid the wrapping to reveal a thick tome on pinnipeds. His face broke into a grin as he flipped through the pages, the furry faces of seals greeting him. "Thank you, Mikasa!" he said, unsure how Mikasa thought she wouldn't win.
Annie was next. "Here," she said tersely, pushing a small box towards him.
Armin gasped in surprise as he opened the box. He pulled the item out of the box to show everyone. "A seal wine opener?" Connie said in shock. "Where the hell did you find that, Annie?"
She simply shrugged. "It was an appropriate gift."
Armin felt like he could already see a theme. Bertholdt nervously passed his gift down the table, and excitedly Armin pulled out a pair of socks, the fattest, whitest harp seal pups embroidered on them. They were so incredibly soft and he had to resist the urge to put them on. "Bertholdt, thank you!" Armin said with a big grin. Bertholdt reciprocated with a little smile.
"I'm… glad you like them," Bertholdt stuttered, seeming surprised by Armin's approval.
There was definitely a theme running, he realized as he received another book on seals from Marco. So far though, surprisingly, Jean was winning. He had found a seal-shaped flash drive. Ymir passed her gift down without a word. Inside was yet another book about seals, with a hand written note on the inside cover. "Check out the back of this book, there's a special message" it read. Armin flipped to the back of the book excitedly. The special message read: "A seal walked into a club."
"Ymir!" Armin exclaimed, giving her a slightly betrayed look.
Ymir smirked. "You couldn't expect me to resist, Armin."
Krista buried her head in her hands. "Ymir… that's not a funny joke."
"Sure it is, Krista! It's so simple and so dark." There was no wiping that smirk off Ymir's face, no matter Krista's protests.
"Here, Armin. I hope my gift redeems the evening." Krista passed a rather squishy package over to him.
Armin ripped the paper off to reveal an adorable seal plush. He wasn't sure what he expected, really. "I have a question: was everyone obliged to get me a gift with seals on it?"
Eren did a spit-take. "Armin, it took you this long to realize it?"
Armin laughed. "No, Eren. I got it right away."
"That was a condition of the challenge," Mikasa explained. "All gifts for you had to do with seals in some way. At the end, you'll decide which seal is the best."
Connie passed over a flat parcel, poorly wrapped. Armin's face changed from smiles to a look of puzzlement as he pulled out a calendar of sea otters. "Connie… you do realize that sea otters and seals are not the same thing?"
"What? No!" Connie gasped. "They're not the same?"
Armin shook his head. "No, seals are pinnipeds. Sea otters are mustelids. They're closely related, but in different families."
Connie stared at the wood grain of the table. "I'm stupid," he admitted. "I thought they were like… little seals or something."
"At least you're honest about it," Ymir added smugly. "You're out of the running, Connie."
"Armin has yet to receive my gift," Reiner reminded them. He passed a rather large box to Armin with a big, confident smile. "Happy birthday."
Armin stared at the contents of the box for a long time. "Reiner, where in the blazes did you find this?"
Reiner let out a booming laugh. "I'll never tell. I just hope it fits."
Armin got out of his chair to pull the seal onesie over his clothes, Jean, Eren, and Connie unable to contain their laughter. Much to Armin's chagrin, the onesie did indeed fit.
"Now our Armin even looks like a seal!" Krista said gleefully.
"Here!" Eren exclaimed, pushing his box towards Armin. "I… did get some help, but I made it myself."
Armin pulled the plaque out of the box, his name neatly stenciled in black upon a pale blue background. Surrounding his name were shiny seal stickers. "I was reminded of how you put seal stickers on our doors, back when we were in the cluster. Always during test weeks. It made me smile every time, and I thought you deserved seals all the time in return."
Marco nodded. "I liked the seal stickers! Back when we lived in the cluster. They were so happy."
Bertholdt added, "I liked it when you put the one in the O of my name." He flashed Armin a shy smile.
Armin felt as though his heart was going to burst with joy. Now he had a hunch about what was in Sasha's garbage bag monstrosity.
"You haven't opened my gift yet, Armin," Sasha reminded him, pushing the thing across the table and nearly toppling beer into Annie's lap.
It was soft and squishy, Armin realized as he ripped the plastic open. Out poked the head of what could only be an enormous seal plushie. He looked across the table. Everyone was staring at Sasha, who had a smug look on her face.
"Sasha… this is something else…" Armin murmured, wrapping his arms around the seal's fat neck and giving it a huge hug. "I love it! Thank you Sasha, and I do believe you've won."
"YES!" Sasha exclaimed, jumping up in her chair and nearly knocking everyone's drinks to the floor. "Hand over your money so I can spend it on more delicious food!"
With a resigned grumble, the group fished ten dollars out of their wallets again.
"What are you going to name it, Armin?" Marco asked, smiling widely.
"I have no idea— Bertholdt, give me an element on the periodic table?"
Bertholdt jumped, surprised to hear his own name. "Argon?" he replied, a combination of his accent and his inflection turning his answer into a question.
"There we go! My seal's name is Argon," Armin announced, wrapping it in another hug. Seals were so happy and fluffy, this was true, but they meant more to Armin. For a moment he was transported to a different time, a time when his parents had been in his life. He could remember that day at the aquarium so clearly, when he'd first seen the animals alive with his own eyes, and his childish glee as his mother placed a seal plush in his hands. His parents were gone now, but he still had the seals. He could feel himself tear up.
"Th-thank you everyone," he choked out, trying to master his emotion. "You guys… have really made tonight special."
"The fun's not over yet, Armin," Eren said deviously, eying Argon. "You'll have to catch me!" With that, Eren got up abruptly, hoisted the seal about his head, and bolted out of Schultzy's.