*Thanks so much for the faves/follows and reviews! It is much appreciated. :) I hope the story is beginning to pick up a little? I may not be able to update as quickly as I have, since school is going to be calling me away for a bit, but do not fear! I plan on at -least- updating once a week. Now, enjoy the show!

Merlin closed the door to Arthur's chambers, wincing as he knocked his wrist about. His deep blue eyes looked down at the angry purple, swollen joint. He could fix it with a bit of magic but.. He closes his eyes, set his teeth and whispered a phrase, gasping in pain as the joint popped back into place. Breathing out slowly, trying not to groan, he opened his eyes. 'I wonder what's happening between Arthur and... P-Percival...' he asked himself, the night flashing like lightning inside of his head.

Percival yanking him into the room.

Percival slamming him into the wall.

Percival smashing his mouth against Merlin's.

The acts of the night didn't seem real. It almost seemed as if he was floating as he remember, becoming detached from the actions and pain that the night had ensued. However, one thing, a phrase, stayed loud and vivid in his mind, drowning out almost every other thought.

'I'm tainted...'

No one would want him now. He was damaged goods, tainted by another man, tainted by the experience of his first time. Just thinking about having someone's hands on him set him to shivering with fear and nausea. He never wanted to experience the fear, the pain, again. But another part of his mind whispered to him, as if gloating.

'But you enjoyed it...'

Merlin could deny this, push the thought back so far that it was buried beneath all of his other secrets, everything he kept hidden. He would not acknowledge it, he would not feed it. Instead, he would let it fester and grow in a different manner.

The sounds of night life drifted up from the prince's open window, drowning out the silence within the room. The echoes of drunken laughter, the chirps form the night time crickets, a hoot of an owl. Merlin closed his eyes, allowing the sounds of normalcy to help him calm down. He wouldn't let this defeat him, he thought. He could be strong.

With these thoughts, Merlin set about trying to find something to cover his bruised and battered body. After a few minutes of searching, the only thing he found was an extra sheet for the prince's bed. 'I'll need to wash it anyway...' he thought to himself as he wrapped it around his body. He couldn't bear having Arthur seeing him like that again.

Making his way to the hearth, the fire within groaning and crackling happily, Merlin sat himself in one of the chairs to wait for the prince. After the anger that Arthur displayed, he didn't want to upset him further by leaving when the prince had told him not to. So he waited.

~3 months later~

Things had steadily got back to normal, Merlin putting the night from his mind, until his dreams dredged the memories back up. Dark circles formed beneath his eyes, the blue seeming less bright. His skin had taken on a kind of sickly pallor, an unhealthy looking grey. Those around him worried, Arthur in particular, but when questioned, Merlin would grin and shake away his friends' worries.

They noticed how he avoided physical interaction like the plague, dodging worried, comforting gestures with the deftness of a drunk cat. He would usually knock something over, or drop something, which would send him into a flurry of apologies and action that would get him away from the situation quick, fast, and in a hurry. No one, besides Percival and Arthur, knew why.

Percival had tried apologizing to Merlin, explaining that the last thing he remembered was the day before Arthur had hurt him in training. He had had a restless night, whispers of forbidden desires gently prodding his self control. He had told himself that he couldn't, that he didn't even find men attractive. That Merlin was Arthur's manservant, therefor an extension of Arthur himself.

But his desires wouldn't listen. They wracked his mind, causing him to lose rest, which allowed the thoughts to persist. They dark whispers almost became a physical force, as if driving him towards the end goal. He had tried to stop himself but his body had not felt like his own. It was like he watched from a distance, honestly believing that what was happening was a dream. A nightmare, one that he wished fervently to wake from.

However, he couldn't. Not until Arthur's burst of anger, the punch that seemed to shatter the window he had been looking through, hit him. It had taken him a few moments to understand what had happened. And the guilt that accompanied the realization had been overwhelming. He would have tried taking his own life, had he not found the weird pouch of herbs stuffed under his pillow after returning home.

He had brought it to both Gaius' and Arthur's attention, trying to explain that he wasn't a sorcerer. Gaius had believed him, saying that the herbs that had been within the bag could only come from a certain valley that lay a week's ride outside of Camelot. If he had taken the time to gather the herbs himself, everyone would have noticed his absence. The older man did explain, however, that the herbs were meant to awaken the dark side of desire, a treatment used on the Old Religion's enemies, to tear apart those that were close to them and, eventually, the guilt would cause them take their own life.

The two men had stared at Gaius, to the pouch, then to each other.

'Percival, it wasn't your fault. This was the work of sorcery, not your own hand.'

'I-I know, Sire...' Percival had replied, looking down guiltily. 'But Gaius just said that it wouldn't have worked had the desire not been there in the first place... It just... twisted it...' His eyes dragged from the floor to his prince, worry and apprehension flashing in them.

'I understand that, Percival, but I also know that, had you wanted to court Merlin, you would have come to ask for my blessing.' Arthur placed a firm hand on Percival's shoulder. 'You are an honorable man, Percival. I understand that you would never have harmed a hair on Merlin's idiotic head unless it was for his own good.' The small smile the Arthur gave Percival had made the man relax a bit.

'I still blame myself but... knowing why this happened makes it a little easier to bear. But now the question is... why?' Percival glanced to Gaius, who had been turning the rather ordinary pouch around in his hand. 'Why Merlin? It just kind of seems off for this person to target a knight that would just happen to target his prince's manservant.'

'We can't rule out anything, Percival. However, I do think you are correct. We need to figure out who is doing this, and soon. I fear it may happen again.' Gaius looked at the two men in front of him, his grey eyes stony, serious.

'We have to protect Merlin.'

Merlin had not been included in the conversation between the three men, constantly keeping himself busy so that his mind couldn't think on anything besides his current job. He worked tirelessly, cleaning the stables, washing the floors, even tending to the knights' laundry and armor. He was losing sleep, but he didn't care. The less he slept, the less he had to remember what had happened.

One night, after a particularly exhausting day of cleaning the armory by hand, Merlin stumbled through the halls towards Gaius' chambers, wanting nothing but to fall into the dreamless oblivion that he hoped was awaiting him. He was so preoccupied with his plans of a dreamless sleep that he didn't pay attention while he rounded the next corner, running headlong into a hard body of armor. He fall backwards, and would have landed against the wall had the hand that shot out not caught him.

It took Merlin a few moments to realize that, not only had he not fallen but someone was gripping his arm. His pulse jumped, adrenaline pouring through his veins. Without even taking a look, he screamed, yanking at his arm to free it from the other person's grip. However, the other party wouldn't let up.

"Woah woah woah, Merlin. Settle down, it's just me." Gwain said, pulling the boys arm enough to get him upright. Merlin yanked his arm free, his blue eyes wide with fear. "Woah, now. Everything's okay." the man said softly, taking a tentative step towards the fearful boy.

"I-I-I'm sorry Gwain... I-.. you just... startled me is all.." Merlin mumbled, keeping his eyes glued to the ground between his feet. Gwain noticed that Merlin was obsessively rubbing the place on his arm the he had caught the boy, as if rubbing it would make the sensation go away.

"Is everything... okay Merlin? You've been acting rather odd for the past few months." Gwain asked, taking another step toward the boy. His heart ached for the poor lad, wanting nothing more than to wrap his arms around him and show his that everything would be okay. But he knew that Arthur would probably not approve, as jealous and overprotective as he was over his young manservant. Instead, the knight laid a hand on the boy's shoulder, trying to show the boy that he was concerned, which startled Merlin all over again.

"I-I.. I have to go, Gwain..!" Merlin squeaked out, ripping his shoulder from the man's grip and running around the rather shocked man. Tears had begun to fill his eyes, gently and silently falling down his pale cheeks. A shudder wracked his body, sending him sprawling. Crumpled on the ground, Merlin sobbed silently, his hands gripping the stone floor as if it could somehow save him from the overwhelming fear.

"Merlin...?" The voice caused his sobs to stop immediately, catching in his throat. Slowly, the younger boy looked up, the tear tracks down his somewhat dirty face sparkling in the soft light from the surrounding sconces. Arthur stood in the hallway, concern etched over his facial features. "Merlin, what's wrong?" the prince asked, taking a slow step forward.

Merlin backed away, his body now visibly shaking. "N-n-nothing, Sire... I uh-um... t-tripped.." He said clumsily, trying to give Arthur a confident smile to show him he was okay. It didn't work. Arthur took a few more steps towards the boy on the floor, his servant, his friend, and offered his hand to help the young warlock up. Merlin stared at the hand, swallowing a few times to help keep what little food he had eaten that day down. He didn't want to touch his prince's hand, but he didn't want to insult him by not doing so either. So tentatively, Merlin reached out his hand and grasped his prince's, wincing at the contact.

With a gentle pull, the blond man helped up his servant, making sure not to tug too hard at the frail-looking limb. He was beginning to really worry over him, his guts twisting as he watched the younger boy mumble a goodbye before running around him towards his chambers. The pain in Arthur's chest nearly took his breath away, wanting nothing but to wrap the other boy in his arms to protect him from anything, and everything that would wish him harm.

Sighing, Arthur continued on his way from the courtyard to his chambers. Having nothing more to do that night, he planned to get undressed and flop into his warm bed, hoping that his worry for his servant would abate long enough for him to catch a few hours of sleep. Considering the tonic Gaius' had given him earlier that week, the prince was sure that his sleep would at least be dreamless, if not particularly restful.

Closing his chamber doors, Arthur disrobed and, since he had nothing but training tomorrow, decided to forgo his bath for the night in lieu of getting a little more sleep. He pulled himself into his bed, his mind still whirling with worried about Merlin. Grunting, he whipped his head back and forth, trying to get the thoughts to leave. He took the bottle resting on the table beside his bed, took a large gulp, and pulled himself under the covers, his eyes beginning to close. As he drifted off to sleep, one small part of his mind was wondering why he suddenly had this odd, sweet scent drifting into his dreams.