Chapter Two: The First Era of Bryan Kirkwood
Becca Dean
I open my eyes, it was just a dream...but it was an awful one. I looked towards my little sister Nancy, she's sleeping. I have to wake her and tell her. Tell her that she has to look after herself when the worse happens.
"Nance!" I call with a tear falling down,I know she will be tired but I don't have the time to wait.
She awoke from her sleep. We look the complete opposite but we love each other of cause. We're sisters and we stick together. I've been through a lot these last few weeks and she has helped me.
"I'm here" Nancy speaks as she leans against the bed-frame; bags under her eyes.
I feel so numb. I can barely move and my voice shows no passion or emotion. I was verging on lifeless. I guess I deserve this for what I did, why should I have use of my body after what I chose to do with it?
"I had a dream...it was a bad one and it scared me" I tell her like I was a child telling their mother.
Nancy's eyes widened as this.
"It's okay,it was just a dream" Nancy replied with no emotion as she grabbed gently onto my arm.
She must think I'm losing it. I'm talking about dreams after all but it left that much of an impact. I had to tell. I feel it was symbolism for something in my life. Like a child, I start to tell her what happened...
"You were drowning... and although I could see you...I couldn't help you because when I looked properly...I wasn't there...You're going to have take care of yourself from now on" I weakly explain, tears steaming down my face.
"Untill you get better? Of cause I will" Nancy tells me as she wiped away tears from her eyes.
She was still clinging onto the hope. I accepted that I will not make it so why can't she? I don't want her to ruin her life because of this. I know Nancy and I know something could throw her off the rails. I just hope it isn't me.
"I'm not getting better" I tell her, I see my husband Jake...The one who I betrayed.
She shakes her head as she places her hand back on my arm.
"Don't say that...Don't" Nancy bade me, my attention turns elsewhere.
"You promise me you'll finish your A-Levels? They're more important than you think" I urge.
I never thought about what I would say on my deathbed, who does? Now I'm here, all I can do is advise and hope they listen to me for once. I notice Jake standing around and looking useless. I hope he knows how sorry I am.
"Yeah okay" Nancy speaks but I don't believe her.
"Don't lie to me, not here, not now...You promise?" I ask in a serious tone.
"Okay I promise" she cries.
This time I do believe her because she doesn't break her promises easily. Never has done though that doesn't mean that she won't do something stupid. She will do as she doesn't always help herself.
"And make sure you live a long and happy life...And you be a big sister to Charlie as well as an auntie...the sort of sister I wish I been to you" I speak, it would sound so cliché written down.
Nancy gives a little nod. Jake walks over as he places both hand behind a tearful Nancy. I don't even know why's he here. I done nothing to deserve his company and deep down, I wish Justin was here instead. He betrayed me but I still love him, I had his baby and that has to count for something. Besides, loving men who are no good for me is something I've done all my life.
"Well you're the best big sister" Nancy insists, that isn't true, I been an awful one.
"No...I let you down...let you both down" I tell them both, now including Jake.
Nancy began to sob. With Jake still holding onto her. They both seemed adamant this wasn't true but I knew it was and deep down, they knew too. I guess the mind goes foggy when faced with death.
"Don't say that" Jake pipes up however I can see it in his eyes that he knows it's true.
I cheated on him with a student. I must have humiliated him. I don't care anymore if he cheated on me once, two wrongs don't make a right. I was childish for doing what I did and stupid for falling in love with Justin. Breaking Jake's heart in the progress.
"You're each other's family now and I love you both so much...You make sure that Charlie knows that his mummy loves him..it's just all been too short.. it's been too short.." I say as I close my eyes.
I was still alive but only just.
"Becca...Becca" Nancy calls...
"It's just the morphine..." Jake states..
"What?"
"If she was really going, look, the machines would be beeping...Nurses would be running in, doctors too...She's not going to die; it wouldn't be fair"
I hear shrill cries again. I don't know how long I was out of it. I never had any dreams this time, I can't remember anything anyway. I re-opened my eyes and this time I couldn't move an inch.
"Becca" Nancy said as she noticed I was awake.
"Don't be scared" I try to tell her, I wasn't one to be subtle.
I hate seeing her upset and I hope this isn't my last image.
"Oh please don't" Nancy pleads again.
"I love you both so much" I say with my eyes closed once again.
I could already feel death coming, I wasn't scared though. I thought about Charlie, he's young enough to forget about me. All he will know is that I loved him very much. I hope that Justin grows up and becomes the father he deserves. I know he could be if he puts his mind to it.
"I love you too" Jake replies though I pretend to hear Justin's voice instead.
You could call this my final betrayal to Jake. Even when I'm dying, I still feel guilty about this. I start to lose conciseness...
"Becca?...Becca wake up" Nancy softly speaks through tears.
I cannot answer as I'm too weak to even speak right now.
"Please don't leave me" Jake speaks just as the beeping starts...
I can barely make out the words as the doctors and nurses rush around me. Though they are fighting a losing battle. I'm dying and all I got is one image in my head...This image is everything I ever wanted..It's..
...
Melissa Hurst
I arrive at Hannah's house with her, we are going to run away we will be free and we will not be forced to eat disgusting food. I don't want to gain any more weight do I? I feel so weak but it's worth it. I can hear her parents arguing, mine use to do that. They think we have a problem but we don't. We wander up the stairs with Hannah being my only support. She's the only one who understands me. I give a small laugh of relief as I sit down on the bed. She gets her passport, the thing we need. She's holding onto her teddy now and I give another little laugh.
"You won't need that when we're there" I insist, I have a sore throat.
She turns around and doesn't seem quite as eager as me to get away. I don't understand.
"Melissa, what if there's no flights? You know... we could be waiting around for hours" Hannah presumed.
"There are...I checked" I paused as I noticed her staring down at her childhood bear...I sigh..."Are you backing out on me?" I ask.
"I just hate not being able to say goodbye" Hannah tells me.
She is backing out isn't she?
"Well stay if you want to...Find out for yourself what it's like to be force-fed but not me...I been there and I done that...Keep letting them control your life...I'll send you a postcard" I bitterly tell her.
I go to stand up, it feels like I'm back home. I can remember being in my bedroom while my parents fought and fought about what 'is right for me' I ended up resenting them as they forced me to eat, knowing it would just make me sick. I was tied down to the chair while my father forced the food down my throat while my weak-willed mother was crying...I left home that day. Hannah chucks her teddy down on the bed and we go to leave again. She has come to her senses. I knew I could rely on her. We went back down the stairs, once again Hannah held me up. I walk right into a table and groan.
"Shhh...Come on...come on" Hannah speaks with a small smile as she leads us towards the door.
I hear a footstep and a voice...
"Hannah?...Hannah" Josh speaks,that's her brother...
It stops her in her tracks, I knew it would.
"Josh...Josh...Don't say anything" Hannah answers while still holding onto me.
"What you doing?" Josh asked her, I grit my teeth, he better not ruin it for us.
"Please...Josh...No...Don't" Hannah begs, I grab onto her in fear.
"Mum" Josh began to call...
"Please" Hannah beseeches...
"Mum...Mum" Josh calls again...
She panics as we go to turn around. I grab back onto her arm. This can't end well, all these people want to do is ruin our chance of living our life without hassle or control. Why can't we just live in peace?
"What the hell is she doing here? Suzanne asks like I was an untamed beast.
I could see her looking at me with hatred. What did I ever do to her? Hannah is doing this out of choice. Yet I'm being looked upon like I forced her and made her do this. I never forced her into anything...I just gave her tips...You know...
"She's my friend" Hannah tells them as we go to leave again.
"I can't believe they discharged you from hospital looking like that" Suzanne tells me, another knock to my ego.
I look fine..I just feel weak. That's all. Hannah knows that so why can't everyone else? If I look as bad as she says I do then Sarah and Craig would had mentioned it when we said goodbye. Right?
"Let's go" I harshly tell Hannah now in a rough sounding tone.
"Hang on! Let me phone the hospital" Suzanne tells us as she looked at Rhys who looked at Josh; he went towards the phone.
"We're going for a walk...You know, work up an appetite; I thought you be pleased" Hannah lied.
Though they will not let us go. I can't stand this. I just want to go into the sunset and never look back. We could go to a place where nobody tells us what to do or judges us. Surely Hannah wants this too. Rhys started to walk towards us...
"And where exactly is it you're walking to, eh? Australia?!" Rhys hissed as he yanked the bag off her back.
I can't stand Rhys and he can't stand me.
"Rhys!...You were going to leave?...With her? Where to?" Suzanne questioned in disbelief.
"You can't stop me from going anywhere" Hannah stated.
She was finally sticking up for herself. I knew she would eventually, I did the same thing to my parents. I think she got it from me and I'm proud of her. I feel like we known each other all our lives.
"Aww...This is all you this...You know she was fine til you turned up...Made her just like you...Screwed her head up!" Rhys shouted as he pointed in my direction.
I was not going to take that and I'm past caring about trying to respect them.
"If you were her proper family...She wouldn't need to run away...If you respected her...Let her do her own thing" I was cut off.
Rhys was shaking his head.
"What? Like starve herself to death?" Rhys hissed.
"You don't understand ...None of you understand...That's why we need each other" I say while looking at Hannah.
"I trusted you" Suzanne informed me though that did little to change my mind.
Hannah looks angry as we look into each other's eyes.
"We're going" I alert them..."Come on" Hannah replies to me...We set off again.
"No chance...Get off me!" I hear Rhys say as we go to open the door.
He lunges at Hannah as he pulls her away. Pulling her away from me as a scuffle occurs between the family. Shouting is going on as both Rhys and Suzanne pull her towards the stairs.
"Please Hannah...tell us what we done wrong...Tell us what we done to upset you" a helpless Josh says as he watches.
I feel my shoulder as everything starts to go blurry. I fall further onto the floor as my hand is the only thing keeping me it's not enough! I lay across the floor and I feel pain still in my chest.
"Melissa? Open your eyes...Can you hear me?..It's okay...Melissa? Stay with us...Melissa look at me...Melissa? It's me Suzanne..."
I'm ugly inside and out. I will never be beautiful. Not after this. I hope my parents don't remember me this way...I hope they remember me as the girl I was once was before I stopped eating...I glance over at Hannah...What have done to her? What have I done...
...
Max Cunningham
Who would have thought that this would be a part of the happiest day of my life? Carrying a cupboard that is. OB always picks the hardest thing to carry doesn't he? We're trying to carry it across. I can't help but hear a car revving. I then see my little brother Tom chasing after a kite, a picture of innocence if I ever saw it. I glance at Niall, who is in the car, he doesn't look like he is paying attention and this does bother me. I know I have to get to him for when something bad happens.
"Tom! Tom!" I shout as I frantically run towards him, the car is now on the road. What is Niall playing at?!
I pick up Tom and move him away from the road. Before I can even think, I get knocked dow by the car in question. I hit the ground! Yet I can't stop worrying as I look across and see Tom's toy hit the ground like me...
"Max!" I hear OB shout, he rushes towards me, everything goes all quiet for a little bit.
All I can hear is Niall coughing and the crowd surrounding him. I think he has got out of his car now. He avoids them and walks towards me and OB. What rights does he think he has? I can see that OB doesn't like him near us either.
"Phone an ambulance now!" OB hisses at Niall while holding me in his arms.
He's my best friend and I don't think I could have died next to anyone else. Sentimental I know but sentimental's all I got right now.
"OB!" I shout out in panic, I feel scared now and I make it clear as everyone is looking.
"It's okay Max, you're gonna be fine,you're gonna be fine" OB tries to tell me however this is not good enough.
I feel terrible.
"OB? I question, looking up at him.
Does he really know it's going to be fine? I don't know and that scares me more than anything else. What will happen to Tom when I'm gone? He already lost his dad and mum and now he might lose me too.
"I called an ambulance, it's gonna be here any minute" OB insists.
I turn my attention elsewhere.
"Tom!" I shout, I haven't heard him for a while but I know he will be okay.
"He's safe! Tom, it's fine... it's not as bad it looks...it's nothing" OB tells an upset Tom but he even understands it might not be.
"Hello?..Yeah I need an ambulance now!" Niall shouts...He only just called.
"It hurts...I can't breathe" I say as if that's going to take the pain away.
I'm waiting for death to come because I know that's going to happen. Every word I speak, it weakens me. I can hear people looking in shock yet none are helping. Why are they not helping?
"No listen...You're in shock, that all there is..You're in shock" OB insists, still not letting go.
"Steph..." I was cut off.. "Shh" OB says however I need to say this before the worse happens "Tell Steph" I try again but I was cut off once again "Shh, it's alright, it's alright" OB speaks..."Tell her! Today...Today was the best day of my life" I state..
I need her to know that because it really was the best day. She was one of the best things to ever come into my life. I love her so much and I hope...I know she will know this already. I had some pretty bad relationships in my life. Steph was the best one...She really was.
"No...no...You're gonna tell her...You're gonna tell her at the hospital" OB tells me.
I say something but I don't think they heard. I'm out of breath and I don't want to repeat it. Why does my life have to end today? I bet someone up there in the sky is having a right old laugh.
"Max? Max!" OB shouts as if that's going to make everything better.
I hear Tom sobbing and that breaks my heart; he has been through too much in his young life. Watching our father die, losing his mother just days after, almost drowning and now watching me die...What has he done to deserve all that?
"Max?" OB calls again as he notices I'm losing focus however I still got a bit more life yet.
"I love you mate" I tell him, barely breathing.
He's my best friend and I love him for that. He's one of the few people who have stuck by me, nearly all my life. Steph is my wife and I love her to pieces but OB is my best friend and that's always how it's been.
"What?..Listen...Don't be gay" OB paused with a little laugh but it's not a time to be joking..."See, I can hear it...The ambulance, it's coming, it's coming..."
It never came...
...
Father Kieron Hobbs
I had duties as a priest and let's be honest, I squandered them all. People use to come to me for help and that's why I found myself here. I'm helping a mother look for her son and I've found him. He was living with me and I didn't even know, I made friends with him. This strikes me as a little odd to say the least. I knew I had to go to him first because I need answers. This is clearly not just a coincidence.
"Hello stranger...Where have you been? Heard from John-Paul yet?" Niall asked as soon as I opened the door.
I breathe at the thought of his name. That's not why I'm here though, I'm here to tell Niall the truth about where he came from. I think he already knows but I need the truth for Myra. She wants my help.
"No...Erm...I got a few texts but I had to.." I pause slightly, trying to figure out how to tell him.
It could be in my head, the whole 'him knowing already' thing. Except I'm very certain about this.
"Had to what?" Niall asked me with that knowing look, I really don't trust him.
He's hard to read sometimes.
"Er...Do you mind coming to sit down mate?" I question.
This feels wrong somehow; perhaps I should have gone to Myra first or even John-Paul. Someone who I know well enough and someone who I know will not do anything to hurt me because Niall makes me feel uneasy.
"Erm...No...No...I'm alright..You sure you're alright?" Niall ponders, looking straight at me.
I'm a nervous wreck and I think he is too. We are both worried and that's not a good sign is it? Though I still have some duties and I have to get to the bottom of things because well...I'm still a believer of God and I don't think he would appreciate me not going through with this.
"Look mate..erm...I know you've not been entirely honest and I just want to say that...I think I understand why...Look, I never went delving into your life... okay; I was trying to help someone else, I was trying to help someone who wanted to find their son...honestly I never thought I was going to find out that son was you" I explain.
He had a look of sadness in his eyes, I can also understand why he would be this way too. It must have been hard to find out that your mother has kept six other children but let you go. Hopefully they can learn to forgive and love each other again. That's what the bible teaches us.
"I don't know what you're talking about mate" Niall replies except I think he does.
He started to sort out his papers as a distraction but he can't run away from this. Not anymore. He has a mother out there who loves him and regrets ever letting him go, I know deep down that this fact would make him happy.
"I know you were fostered...I met up with Jean Snow...Your real name's not Niall, it's Matthew" I tell him however he looks like he already knows.
I think this could work because Niall went looking for his mother and that has to count for something. It means he is interested and that's not always the case for people who were brought up in care.
"Was" Niall hisses with an angry expression on his face, once again I understand, he has every right.
"And all that stuff you said about your mum...about how she died on Christmas Day...that's when you were found at St. Eustace's" I softly speak.
All throughout this talk. I could see the pain and the feelings of betrayal that he had inside him. I'm sure he would had been a great son if she kept him but she was only a child herself. Her mother knew that but I still can't help but feel that they could have handled the situation better.
"Yeah? Cause that's when she died..in my head..Cause I was a couple of days old and that bitch left me in a box with a blanket...It was December...You get that bit of information did ya?" Niall paused briefly.
He was upset yet he carried on his tale...
"Jean flew in and out did she?" Niall asked and that's when I think I got it.
He just wants to be loved and he never has been. Not truly, I can't picture what it was like growing up. Every Christmas, when everyone else was having a good time. He was there care, alone and without a proper family. Not only that but he also knew this was the day his mother abandoned him. I feel sorry for him.
"Mate.." I was cut off.
"Cause I don't know about you father but I wouldn't treat a dog like that...Would you?" Niall asked, he was fighting back tears.
I shake my head. I watch him walk away in anger.
"Please...don't think she hasn't lived to regret it...She did a terrible thing...yeah but..If you knew her...If you even knew her like I do. And I don't have to say this, it's out. I just will...It's Myra McQueen..I mean she's your mother" I say out in the open.
He rushes away and into the bathroom, I leave him alone for about a minute. I walk towards the door and I can hear him crying and I think that's my cue to try to make things better. I know this is a shock to him. Whether he knew or not...Did he know? I don't know anymore. I put one hand against the door as I lean across the opposite wall.
"Maybe I should had kept out of it but I was just trying to help...I could help you if you let me...I promised Myra I'll...I'll find her son so I'll be the one to tell her if you don't think you can do it..Only if you want to me to of cause...cause she's gonna be stunned..Yeah...Of cause she will...she's expecting a total stranger. Not someone who lives round the corner" I stop as he opened the door.
"Still, the lord moves in mysterious ways, eh?" Niall replied as he looks in my direction.
That's when it triggers me again..He does know. He stumbles over to the fridge and collects two beers from the fridge.
"You knew?" I ask dumbfounded as it clicks in my head.
"Knew what?" Niall asks like he doesn't know what I'm on about.
"You didn't flicker..when I told you it was Myra" I answered, I feel my heart beating quicker.
He looks at me and doesn't say anything for a while, feels like ages.
"Yeah I knew" Niall finally confessed, just what I suspected all along.
"Niall..What?..Erm...I don't understand..I..You" I was cut off by Niall..."Look reasons or..." I cut him off..."What?" I paused before he said..."Look mate...can we just...can we just sit down? Cause I could use a drink...eh?" Niall asked and he didn't give me much of a choice.
So I walked towards the table and chairs.
"Sure" I spoke without much refusal.
"She was in...Have you told anybody else about this?" Niall asks, what was he suppose to say before that question?
This made much more sense in my head but now it's all out in the open. It's messing with my head. So all this time, he has spent with John-Paul. His little brother, he never once mentioned it. Why did he always stick up for me if that's the case? You would think it would be the other way round, wouldn't you?
"No, no... I haven't told anyone. I thought I owed it you to come to you first" I honestly spoke.
He breathes. I look at him and I feel nervous all over again. What else could he be keeping from me?
"You know what would have been better? If you just stayed out of it...Now we're both in a right mess aren't we?" Niall asked rhetorically before passing me a beer.
He's on the opposite side of me now. I take a sip out the beer and I notice that he moves closer towards me before ordering me as he says "Move over" Niall demands before going serious again.
"I did wanna tell her, like straight away" Niall informs me.
I lean in closer slightly.
"So why?" I ask, I already feel a bit stranger then before, a bit woozy.
I feel tears coming down but they never do. I guess I feel sorry for everyone involved and it's very emotional for me. I knew that from the start and now it's here, it's just all too real now and the missing son has finally got a face and a name.
"Well..Why you think? I was frightened...What if she didn't want to know?" Niall asks, he is close to crying.
I learnt a thing or two while being a priest and that is to always highlight the bright side.
"Well..All she wants is a chance to make things right..."
"Yeah?" Niall ponders, he's like a lost child and in a way, I guess he is.
"Yeah...To have you back in the family where you belong" I try to say.
I think I'm finally getting to the root of the problem and I think I know how to fix it. Not all of it but some of it. I just want to reunite mother and son, that's all I ever wanted from this. Everyone should know their mother, for better or for worse.
"That wasn't the only reason why I didn't tell her...I found out she had six kids...I waited so long for her to miss me...Yeah...She wanted loads of kids her...Not me...Never me" Niall breathes with a small tear.
I place one hand on his shoulder.
"I'm on your side...There is only really one person who knows the answer to this" I tell him, referring to Myra.
I take a huge gulp out of the beer so my emotions will not get to me.
"What's so bad about me? Was I that unlovable?" Niall asks with actual tears steaming down his cheek.
I feel bad for him. I really do and I can see how this has effected him however I think I'm making progress here.
"Of cause not...She loved you, she did...She was just a kid" I remind him, she was just fourteen when she had him.
Not even out of school yet and I think her mother knew this too. I still think that they should have taken more care but she was just a kid. She panicked and left him, I know she regrets it more than anything else.
"All I wanted was mum...A rubbish one would have done...I mean, it's your mum innit? It's constant,she's suppose to love you when nobody else will...They put me in the church orphanage...By the time I was 3 or 4...I just...I just thought my mummy had died you know...I wish she had...It still would had been easier" Niall cries.
I take another sip because I'm close to...reacting badly.
"Look you don't have to tell Myra you knew all along if you don't want to...you're right. We'll keep that between us. Important thing is that we do tell her" I vow.
"No I don't think I can do that mate" Niall weakly protests.
"Well look mate, you're gonna have to cause if you don't then I will" I promise harshly.
I know this isn't fair but Myra has a right to know. I catch his gaze and he looks furious.
"And what if I don't want to? You don't know me...there are things you don't even understand" Niall insists.
"Like what?" I ask with wariness.
"Take my confession" Niall simply replies,taking me back to my priest days which were only a short while back.
He stands up and moves away as he walks towards the kitchen and returns with another beer. I take it again and start to drink to calm my nerves however it's only making me feel worse the more I drink it. I don't know why.
"I have been something to be proud of you know...I never got the chance you know...this is all I got left" Niall begins but I don't know what's he on about.
"Sorry mate...Look what is?" I question...getting my words messed up...everything is going blurry.
He leans in closer towards me.
"Should I show her how bad I can be instead? Before I got started, I wanted to know what they were really like...She was a silly cow when she kept on"
"Hm?" I ask.
"I mean... we all know about Jacqui and Mercedes...thieving jailbird...dirty little slag and then Michaela, what a waste of her that girl is...sat smoking sniffs when she's suppose to be at school...dropping her knickers every time somebody whistles right? So I thought to myself.. you know what. Her mum deserves to know about that don't she? So I got myself a little birthday treat...it made me sick cause I thought I killed her and I swear to ya...I never meant that...but then there's the ones that pretend to be nice.. right...like Carmel; caught cheating with her sister's husband...and Tina. Like mother, like daughter that one...You know she was gonna get rid of the baby? Just like Myra tried to get rid off me...I didn't think twice about that one...she" Niall pauses..
"You could have killed that baby" I remind him, feeling sick to my stomach.
I change my mind, Myra no longer needs to know. He is twisted and he doesn't even realize it. He...he thinks he is superior. When he was the one who tried to seduce Steph after running over her husband...What right does he think he has to judge anyone's standards of living?
"Would had been better off dead...You know what I mean..cause..cause...cause kids want a stable upbringing...They want a mum and a dad...They don't want to be passed around like some doll" Niall hisses.
I stop and pause. I think about John-Paul...my dear John-Paul. What has Niall got against him? I don't know if I want to know but the urge is too much.
"What about John-Paul?" I dare to ask as I lean in closer slightly.
"What? My little brother? Apple of his mum's eye? Sleeping with the family priest while there back's turned...I mean no offence mate but her fawning over the two of you is a little bit too much for me to stomach" Niall hisses.
"Leave me" I speak however I get an unexpected reaction.
"Ah! Come on! Eh! I mean, who do you think put it on your sink?" Niall asks, I piece the puzzle together.
"I thought we were.." I stop.. I can't even finish that sentence with a straight face.
"Mates?" Niall asks..."Yeah" I clarify however it feels absurd now. He was never a 'mate'. He holds onto the back of my head; grabbing tighter.
"Mate...You know what the sad thing is? We could had been...Me, you and John-Paul...We..We could had been one happy little family couldn't we?" Niall asks, he sounds...bitterly disappointed.
He paces around before giving me another drink...he must think I was born yesterday if he thinks I'm going to drink that. I feel so sleepy as I place my head on the desk though I manage to get a little more strength when Niall sits back down.
"Can you absolve me father? Cause I need that" Niall insists, I can think of a few other things he needs.
I look at him with hatred, I have never felt this way about anyone before. Not about my strict father, not about his unconcerned family and not about my boyfriend's ex. No...Just Niall... because he hurt the one who I love the most.
"Go to the police...Tell them that you...I know it wasn't your fault...You need help as much as you need forgiveness.." I pause as I placed my hand around his neck..."I mean you mustn't hurt them anymore...No..Promise me that? Not my John-Paul..." I begin to sob..."They done nothing wrong" I say through tears.
I can't stop because I'm in pain and I all I think of is John-Paul and how I might never see him again. I let go from him and sink back down.
"There..drink that" Niall says as he puts a drink in front of me again.
I pick it up and go to drink it but then I remember. I start to sob again but I then start to choke too.
"I think I'm gonna be sick" I say in hope that he comes to his senses and helps me like I helped him.
Please God...Save me. If not me then save John-Paul. I'm sorry for leaving the church but that's not John-Paul's fault. Please protect him and his family if I go because they have done nothing wrong. I collapse into Niall's arms as we both land on the floor, I feel awful. I start to have a little bit of a fit.
"It's alright" Niall speaks but it doesn't mean a thing as I lay in my killer's arms.
"What have you done to me?'' I ask through sweat and tears.
I think back to when he was in the bathroom. He must had spiked my drink there but I don't care how he done it. The fact is, he has done it. I project vomit several times as Niall still holds onto me.
"You're a good bloke mate...Just a shame you have to go and top yourself isn't? it" Niall asks in tears.
This results in me being sick again, again and again. I can't stop...Please God. Take this pain away. Niall lets me go as he paces around the room...I think. He chucks stuff on the floor, I don't know what it is or why. He then leaves...it feels like ages. I just lie, not being able to move, see or speak. I can only hear...
"Kieron?" I hear a familiar voice speak and it's not Niall...it's John-Paul...I won't die in Niall's arms then...
He rushes by my side as he wraps his arms around me and cradles me in his arms.
"Kieron sweetheart wake up...Kieron...What have...What have you taken? Kieron? Come on sweetheart,come on sweetheart..."John-Paul begs...
I gave up the church for him and I know why now. He means everything to me but I don't mean the same to him. He's in love with Craig and I was a fool for thinking I could make him fall in love with me. Though I can pretend on my last breath can't I? He loves me and I love him...That's how this will end...I don't know where I'm going. Where does a fallen priest go?...I...I can no longer hear...It's just nothing...
...
Tina Reilly
I couldn't believe it when Niall said he was our brother. He captured us all and forced our mum to choose who lives and who dies. What sick person does that? Our mum was fourteen when she gave him up and he can't forget. We are in the very church he was left in right now. He has John-Paul in his grip and he won't let go. We can't leave, not until John-Paul is safe. How many more have to die because off Niall?
"No!" John-Paul shouted as Niall refused to let him go, me and Dom ran past them.
What are we suppose to do? We don't know what to do and I always know what to do but not today. The whole church could come crashing down at any moment and then we would all be dead wouldn't we?
"Stay there! You stay where you are! Don't go another step!" Niall shouted before hurting John-Paul again.
He was in pain and it was horrible to see. I went to walk over but my husband Dom stopped me. From the corner of my eye; I could see my mother walking towards her two sons. Surely she can stop this because if she can't then I don't think anyone can.
"That's enough now, stop it!" Dom shouted however it was no use as I grabbed onto him.
Everything was going so quick and I just couldn't comprehend it all. I didn't have time to think therefore I didn't have time to come up with a solution or a conclusion. My mind just went blank. Our mother pointed her finger firmly at Niall...
"You let him go" she demanded as she looked at him with denial, this was her son.
She doesn't want to accept that he is a bad person. She just can't do it and I know I'll feel the same way about Max.
"What? You playing mother now are ya?" Niall asked her, he sounded bitter about the whole thing.
Why did he have to resort to this? To hurting his family? I don't know what growing up in care is like but I know I wouldn't have turned out like this. I wonder if he would carry on if he could see himself through a mirror.
"I'm not playing Niall..You let your brother go now!" she shouted, pointing her finger back towards him.
The whole church started to rock again like an earthquake has shook it. It was an old church so the explosion has damaged it and it can't stand still anymore. This was never going to end well.
I screamed as I suddenly fell down as the floor beneath me fell through!
"Tina!" I heard my mother shout before I hit the ground and get trapped under the rubble.
I think I've broken most of the bones in my body. I feel like I have been dragged through the worse place in the whole world twice. I don't think I could move even If I tried, my body just wouldn't be able to take it. I have my eyes closed but then I open them again.
"Dom?' I ask...I can barely feel anything but the pain...It's the worse pain in the world.
"Tina" Dom replies; it was him...I knew he would be here.
"I tried to help her but my shoulder's dislocated and my ankle's bust" Tony clarifies in a guilt-ridden voice
That's his excuse for not helping sorted then. I close my eyes again because I can barely keep them open. I hear someone trying to get to me as they are on their hands and knees.
"Tina" Jacqui calls as she comes closer towards us both...Why isn't she up there with everyone else?
"Jacqui" Dom speaks, almost as if he's answering for me.
I feel like they are both near me now and it's feels alright. Well as alright as this can be right now. Jacqui tries to take the huge stone off me though I think it be too heavy. She doesn't get very far anyway.
"No,No..No...It might collapse...You need to get more help" Tony reminds his brother and girlfriend.
"I'm not leaving her" Dom replies to Tony in a serious manner.
Dom and Tony always disagree, even when faced with this. I don't think I would believe Dom was here if they didn't.
"I won't let anything happen to her" Tony promises...agree already Dom; I love you but agree.
I will be fine on my own. I got Tony to keep me company. He can keep me going with his crazy ideas and entrepreneur talk.
"She's my wife" Dom noted...it was clear that he will not leave my side...I suppose it's a good thing.
"Yeah and if you don't get help...You won't get her out" Tony reminds him.
Jacqui finally has the smart idea to go herself.
"I'll go" Jacqui declares as she stands up and leaves my side to go and fetch some help. "Jacqui...Jacqui be careful" Tony advises before turning his attention back to Dom.
"We're gonna get her out of here...I promise...I promise" Tony adds before going silent.
We all sit in silence for what feels like ages before help arrives in the form of Craig and Jack. Dom attempts to remove the huge stone off me despite Tony's warning. I can't exactly protest and neither can Tony as he is saying nothing else.
"Won't be long now I promise...Here...We're getting you out of here..." Dom says and he fully believes what's he saying.
"Okay we got it...good luck" Craig speaks to Dom before walking towards Tony with Jack.
I can't understand what Tony is saying as Craig and Jack take him away as he is groaning in pain at every step. Dom's still here as he pulls me closer towards me and cradles me in his arms.
"Sorry" I manage to speak...I'm sorry for that one night stand with Russ...I felt nothing towards him.
I love Dom and always have done.
"What you got to be sorry for eh?" Dom asked as if he doesn't know what I did. He places one hand against the side of my face.
"You made everything so perfect...I destroyed it" I insist with every confidence.
"You haven't destroyed anything" Dom replies, equally as sure.
"I'm sorry...With Russ...I...I'm sorry I hurt you" I honestly confess.
"I don't care about any of that now...we're gonne be alright; you and me...we're gonna grow old together like I promised" Dom cheerfully declares.
He has a heart of gold. I couldn't have asked for a better husband and a better father figure for Max. Our time was short but sweet, I wouldn't have changed the time we spent together for anything. Except more time.
"Can you tell him about me?" I ask.
"Who?" Dom wonders..
"That baby boy...When he's older...Tell him about me...Tell him how much I loved him" I just about manage to ask...
"You tell him yourself" Dom replied in a serious tone as he held onto me tighter.
"Swear you will" I speak...
I close my eyes again and start to lose sense of everything around me. I hope I'm Niall's last victim...I hope they open the newspapers tomorrow and it says that Niall lost his life at the sight of the crime because nobody else deserves to die...Nobody...I can't feel now...I just can't feel or hear or...see...
...
Niall Rafferty (Born Matthew McQueen)
All I ever wanted in my life was a mother who loved me. I came to the village and I wanted to know my family, like I told Kieron. Poor Kieron never got much luck. You know I done him a favour...John-Paul would had broken him way worse than I ever could because he is poison... poison like the rest of his family. Sitting with my mum in the church made me realize what I have been missing all my life except it was a nasty trick. She left as soon as she got the chance...again. What type of mother does that? Talking about running away, now Steph doesn't want anything to do with me. She's scared...I hate seeing her scared. I never meant to scare her...I hate the thought...but she has to understand how much I love her.
"No! Please don't come any closer! Please!" Steph begs as she stands right at the edge of the cliff we are on.
I disobey her. I have to come closer because I can't go letting an upset girl like that alone so close to the edge. She could slip; one step wrong and that's it. I can't risk that...I'm not a monster. I grab onto her and hope to make her feel better.
"Hey...I saw erm...I came to watch you, Tom and Craig playing the other day...like a proper happy little family and I just erm...er...wanted a little taste of that...I mean... it's not too much to ask is it? Eh?" I ask.
I know she will understand because I know Steph. She knows me too you know and this is just a misunderstanding.
"Please...Please" Steph cries...she is just in shock isn't she?
"I love you Steph...I need to be with you...I have to be with you. Alright? Yeah..And I'll do anything to make that happen...Do you understand? Listen...hey...listen..You can't choose how you come into this world can ya? Eh? We could go at the top" I suggest..
Die together I mean. If I go back to the village then I will just get arrested and she understands this. I just want to be loved and I know she loves me, she is just scared. I am too. She is the most beautiful and amazing person I have ever met and dying with her will be a fitting end...the perfect end.
"She doesn't love you!" Craig shouts as he stands bloody and bruised on the filed across from us.
This stops me in my tracks. I look at him...he ruins everything. I let Steph go as she falls on the floor in tears. This is Craig's fault...She would had been fine. She would had been happy if he didn't come along. I walk towards him, this isn't just for me and Steph but also for Kieron...I punch him and he falls to the ground.
"What?" I spat before kicking him to the ground in disgust, he already ruined one relationship but I will not let him ruin mine too!
"Stop it! Please! Stop it!" Steph cries...She doesn't like watching people hurt each other.
She is a nice person like that but when Craig is gone. She will thank me later...I know she will. I punch Craig again and again...and again.
"This is not the best time to get on the wrong side of me is it?! Hey!" I scream with punches in between each word!
I grab onto his jacket tighter.
"She never loved you" Craig choked...He is looking for a death wish!
I shake my head.
"You're lying!" I shout; giving him another punch in the face.
"She's terrified! Will you look at her?! Look!" Craig shouts as he grabs onto me and forces me to look.
She is crying however that's not because of me is it? It's the thought of losing me...I know I might look like a monster right now but this is all for her..for us. We need each other and we both deserve love.
"We're meant to be together...Aren't we Steph? Hey..Steph?...Hey? Steph?" I ask as I manage to form a smile.
She wasn't answering but I know that she does. Actions speaks louder than words don't they? Everyone knows that and she showed me that she loved me so many times before. I know Craig wouldn't understand but I understand and that's enough. I hear Craig give a bitter and weak laugh.
"What's funny?!" I demand to know as I look down upon him, he can't make a fool out of me. I'm no Kieron.
"You're kidding yourself...you're kidding yourself...Tell him Steph! Tell him!" Craig yells.
I look at her in disbelief and in discontent. If I don't have her then I have nothing else. If she says it then I admit defeat. She looks at me with a look of false pity...the type of pity that nobody wants. She doesn't anymore but use to kind of pity...
"I'm sorry...I don't love you...I don't love you" Steph sobs, she said the words I feared most.
I feel like I lost everything I hold dear all over again...Why didn't I accept help when it was given to me?
"What?" I ask in disbelief...
"I don't" Steph confesses while shaking her head...I finally realize that she is scared of me.
I have nothing...Nothing at all. I grab Craig and pull him across the ground and place him next to Steph. I grab the necklace I brought her back before placing my hand behind her neck for a few moments. I let go seconds later and walk towards the edge...I'm a broken man. I take one last glance at Steph who is consoling her little brother Craig.
"Bye Steph" I bid...she looks at me before screaming "No!"
She knows exactly what I'm about to do. Before she has a chance to do anything...I place my arms out and lean back on purpose. I have nothing. I don't have a family that loves me, my only mate died because of me and the only girl I ever loved doesn't love me back. I could either spend life in prison or die. I know what is the better option. I feel the wind against as me as I fall further down. I hit the ground and die within seconds...Nobody is gonna miss me.
...
Louise Summers [Since we never saw her death in full, I have to try to write her last moments freestyle]
Weddings are supposed to be happy aren't they? Not mine though, never mine. I'm scared of my husband-to-be after all...he killed a man. To make matters even worse, I found I'm pregnant with Warren's child. Story of my life. That's not all, I also plan to kill him. You think I'm crazy don't you? I promise you, the only crazy person in this is Warren. I walk towards the room where I kept the gun and enter after scanning my card. I then freeze...Warren is there sitting on the couch. He wolf-whistles as he stands up and walks towards me, I feel so scared.
"You look amazing...It's beautiful isn't it? Just how I dreamed it eh" Warren complimented me which makes me paint on a smile again as I have to face him.
I try to act natural and fail I must add.
"You're not suppose to be in here" I reply with a small laugh as I stand in an unnatural posture.
"I wanted to surprise ya" Warren tells me unfazed however I was shaking like a leaf.
As you could guess, this isn't what I usually do. I'm not like Warren. I don't know how to act like nothing is wrong when everything is in fact; wrong. This is even worse than my last wedding as you could expect.
"Well you did" I point out and he gives a little nod; obviously he wasn't going to leave any time soon.
"Turn around" Warren demands with a straight face..."What?" I ask nervously. "Turn around...I got something for ya"
I do so with caution as I look across; shaking and shivering. "Lift your hair back" Warren adds and once again, I oblige with reluctance.
He places a necklace around my neck and I feel it as he does it. This should be mundane but it's not. He breathes down my neck and I forced another little smile still holding my hair up. "Take a look" Warren speaks and I do so immediately.
I walk towards the mirror and sit down on the chair to have a proper look.
"So; what you think?" Warren asks as we are both looking into the mirror together.
I can't deny that it's a lovely necklace but that really doesn't cut it. Not by a long shot and I do my best to play along. I'm so nervous and I think he knows it which is unsettling however I'm reading too much into it.
"It's beautiful; thank you" I reply as I kiss him on his cheek with a small smile; in that one moment, it was bliss.
"Merry Christmas...And thank you" Warren says with a smile before walking away again.
I stand up, I find this strangely odd. Warren is not usually this chipper. Unless he has everything under control. Does he have everything under control is the question and so far, it seems like a 'No'.
"For what?" I ask with a little nervous laugh as I arise from the chair and look on as he turns around and scoffs.
"My gift" Warren starts before pulling out the gun I was supposed to have hidden! "I'm guessing you didn't have time to wrap it"
The whole world feels like it has stopped moving. Warren looks devasted as he holds the gun close to himself. I'm close to tears, we both are. This isn't suppose to be way and I feel like everything is messed up.
"I mean...This is for me isn't it?" Warren asks as he points the gun upwards and I watch on in horror.
"Warren" I say in a calm voice however he starts to cry, an emotion I haven't seen for a while.
He paces around for a moment or two before facing me again. I'm standing here, frozen to the spot.
"On our wedding day?" Warren asks out of disbelief as he breaks down in tears. My ploy brought him to tears...I didn't want this.
"I'm sorry" I say through tears myself though I don't think I can be sorry.
It's too late.
"You're sorry?! What? That I found it or you we're gonna kill me?!" Warren snaps, putting the fear back in me.
"No...I just...I didn't know what I was doing" I try to say but he is shaking his head.
"Why? Just tell me why please" Warren pauses before he breaks into unexpected laugh. He sounds bitter and like he thinks this is a joke.
Does this excuse of a relationship mean that little him? That even when he knows I want him dead, he is still going to carry on his so-called life messing up everything for me. Including his own demise. Were those tears just an act?
"I mean there mean their must be something...something must have got your back up" Warren panders.
"You think this is funny?" I ask with disgust..."Just tell me!" Warren shouts, he is unpredictable.
I loved him once I suppose. The danger use to excite me but now I just want it all to go away. We use to be just as bad as each other. That's what people think anyway, they all think we are both just as criminal as each other. You know, I use to think Warren was my hero but not anymore.
"Because I want to finish you and me! I want it over! And I wasn't going to let you carry on screwing up my life Warren!" I shout back with fresh tears.
"I love you" Warren strongly declares with every bit of anger in his body.
I couldn't believe that, did he really love me all those times he was hitting me? Attacking me like I was some punch bag. He hurt me inside and out; then he cheated on me with one of my friends; Mandy. I hate him!
"No you don't...You might think you do in that twisted head of yours but you don't love anything...You contol it" I grimace.
"Everything I ever done...Everything was for you!" Warren shouts with passion in his voice.
"Like killing Sean?" I ask in a patronizing tone.
He was my ex-husband was Sean and he wanted me to give him £10,000 which Warren paid off and then he 'got rid of Sean for good'. I didn't want him to but he never listened and did it anyway.
"You do remember what he did to ya?!" Warren asks in disbelief again.
I pace around a little bit, wiping away more tears before going back to my orignal spot.
"Now you see, you haven't heard the best part yet Warren...because some sick little part of me thought that what you did was wonderful" I pause with tears as I laugh at my naivety. "Because you did it for me" I add.
He held the gun in the air as to make a point about the whole absurdity of it. Was this an overreaction from my part? I wish I could say yes but no, I don't think this is unreasonable. Not in this relationship anyway.
"But this?...This isn't you" Warren claims while looking at me with the same expression.
"You killed for me...Because you loved me that much...That's what I told myself" I confess.
"I'll do anything for you" Warren replies with a hint of sadness in his voice.
He would also do anything to me; hit me, cheat on me and lie to me. I can't deal with it anymore.
"Yeah...You do anything for me...Even sleep with my best friend" I hiss slightly and he looks stunned that I knew.
He sits down on the bed as he looks like he doesn't even know how to speak anymore. He looks gutted about this.
"I wanted to tell you how it felt when I found out but I can't..because there are no words and a part of me is glad...because otherwise Warren we could had just carried on living our messed up life like it was somehow normal" I sob.
He doesn't understand what he has put me through and I think he has finally let all his walls down as have I.
"What's normal?" Warren asks like a repugnant child.
"Not this! Not us! You don't see it do you?" I ask with bafflement.
We can never be together again and I don't want to either. I want no part of him and this baby inside of me. I would never let Warren near it because he would mess the child up like everyone else he touches.
"So now you want me dead?" Warren asks.
When he puts it like that then it does sound wrong and insane. Though what does he expect after the way he treated me?
"I just wanted you somewhere you can never come back from" I tell him as a last resort.
Warren is lost right now and he doesn't know how to reply to me. Yet another defend himself and his sordid actions. He stands up and I can't help but notice that he still has the gun in his hand.
"I know I hurt ya" Warren begins, understatement of the century, he has done more than that.
I laugh at his pathetic excuse of an apology.
"Hurt me? You have got no idea" I cried before walking away..."I thought we were finished" Warren spoke which resulted in me turning back around "What?" I ask.
"You were a mess; you were all over the place" Warren states, what does that even mean?
I did everything to make sure he was happy but it was never enough...because he got into my best friend's bed.
"Oh I'm sorry! Was I not paying you enough attention?!" I shout with disgust.
"You know what; I didn't even think you be bothered" Warren answers, he looked pathetic.
"Are you serious?" I scoff.
"It was like I was dead to you" Warren cries.
"I did everything for you Warren! I lied for you and I went to prison! And this is how you repay me!" I bawl.
He broke down on the floor in tears. He is sobbing as he looks back up at me with guilt and sorrow. The mere thought of me in prison seemed to have broken him and that surprised me.
"I'm sorry...I just wanted things back to the way they were..Back when I could talk to ya. It's like you just wanted to get of your face every night" Warren wept.
I held onto my hair as I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Why didn't he just tell me all this before? I sit down on the sofa.
"If you were so unhappy with me Warren..why didn't you just leave me?" I ask.
"I could never leave you...It's me and you...it's always been me and you!" Warren declares.
"And what if I done this to you Warren? What if I been sleeping with one of your friends? Would it still be you and me forever then?" I ask through tears.
I wonder what everyone downstairs is thinking. Mandy,Spencer,Calvin,Carmel,my mother...They be thinking what's the hold up and I'm secretly hoping that one of them comes in here so I can just leave without the fear of getting hurt.
"Everything you touch...you destroy it" I insist..."No" Warren whimpers..."People hate you Warren...They hate us" I tell him with bitterness..."I don't care!" Warren shouts.
Since getting with Warren, people have been put off me. I lost friends because of Warren, including Mandy. I always been 'up-tight' as people would call it but I use to know how to have a laugh. I mean, I use to go out with Darren Osborne. That was a joke and a half wasn't it?
"Even Mandy" I add, even she hates us and she use to be a close friend but not anymore
I miss the life I use to have, the life where I never knew Warren and he never knew me. I wish I could turn back time so I could never meet him and I still have my friends and I would know how to relax.
"What about her?" Warren asks as he doesn't seem to understand, even when it's staring him in the face.
"What about her? How do you think I found out?" I ask and I think it finally clicks.
She told me that Warren and her were going to run away together. Then he changed his mind and stayed. We were going to make him confess to Sean's murder and hand it in to the police until I discovered CCTV footage of Warren and Mandy kissing and I thought to myself. Why not kill two birds with one stone? I plan to kill Warren and frame Mandy for it, they both betrayed me.
"You think I still want to marry ya if I didn't love ya?" Warren then asks...he still doesn't get it.
"Maybe I know too much...Maybe you're scared of me talking" I suggest and he should be.
If he marries me then he can keep tabs on me and make sure I keep my mouth shut. He knows that I could just go to the police and confess all, then he get arrested for life and I wouldn't have to worry about it.
"Or maybe the thought of living without you is worse than if you pulled the trigger" Warren replied with enough tears to fill a house.
This could just be an act for all I know.
"Well it's easy to say when it's in your hand isn't it?" I ask, he pauses before chucking the gun on the couch next to me.
"I swear Louise, today was gonna be the happiest day of my life...And I was gonna change for you! Cause I know you still love me" Warren persists.
I shake my head, a little part of me still loves him but the rest hates him.
"No...I hate you" I confessed while crying...We were both a wreck... "No" Warren weakly protests..."I was gonna kill you Warren" I evoke.
"You have never of gone through with it" Warren insists, he thinks he knows me so well but he doesn't.
How can he?
"You don't know that" I tell him with tears steaming down my face as I watch him do the same.
"I do! Cause you're not me" Warren states, I'm nothing like him I like to think but today proves that I could be.
"You turned me into this!" I shout with disgust and anger.
"Look...We might be messed up but we can't not be together...I know it and you know it...And you still love me...I know you do" Warren insisted, he was so deluded.
"No" I say while shaking my head, why can't he accept facts and leave me alone?
"Look...We can go down there and we can still do this" Warren carried on to my shock.
I stand up as I think it's time to leave. I cannot stand his company any longer and this is getting very tiresome.
"Are you insane?" I ask while scoffing..."Nobody needs to know!" Warren cries..."I know!" I protest.
"It doesn't matter cause it doesn't change how I feel...I still wanna marry ya and I want us to be a family...me, you and kids" Warren declares.
Since when? When has he ever hinted at this? I guess it's because our children would be something else he could control. Something he could ruin, I don't think he does it on purpose. I think it just happens because he is so used to doing it.
"I could never bring a child of yours into this world" I tell him out of pure spite; I can't tell him I'm pregnant.
"You don't mean that" Warren persevered and he generally believes that.
"Yeah...I do" I reply.
He breaks down into a fit of tears on the floor as he keeps saying "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry"
I have actually broken a man and every meaning of the word. Warren looks distraught and for a brief moment, I actually feel sorry for him. I break into tears myself before looking at the gun on the couch. I shake my head and snap out of it before grabbing the gun and I point it towards him.
"So am I...I need you out of my life" I tell him...I want to see him gone forever.
"No please! Louise! Don't do this! Please!" Warren begs as he is now begging on his knees while I point it straight at him while shaking... "I love you!"
I cry and close my eyes before pulling the trigger. Yet no bullets come out! I fiddle with the gun,quickly glancing at Warren who arises from his knees. I keep trying to work the gun but I don't know how to! I look up at Warren again and he holds up the bullets in his hand. He knew along! I should have known!
"No!" I shout with tears before dropping the gun because it's helpless with no bullets.
I watch him walk towards the dresser. I feel like someone has played a very sick joke, Warren played a very sick joke. He begged for me to save him despite knowing I couldn't have done it anyway. He picks up another gun and paces around the room with it, my heart is beating faster than ever before!
"No! Please Warren!" I beg as I run towards the exit, the tables has now turned!
He pushes me onto the couch like I'm a piece of dirt and I guess he thinks I am. I pick up the closet thing to me which is a remote control and attempt to harm him with it but it's no use. He grabs it! I roll of the couch and rush towards the bed. I pick up the phone but he grabs that too and shoves me onto the bed!
"No!" I shout in panic as he grabs onto my arms and hangs them over my shoulder. "Please!" I cry as he is hurting me.
-Freestyle Now-
He lies on me while grabbing tighter onto my arms. I'm sobbing as I watch him grab the nearest pillow and he places it over my face. I can't breathe as I start to kick again and again yet he is unfazed by this...I try again and he takes it off.
"I loved you Louise but you made me into this" Warren hisses, taking my own words and twisting them.
"I hate you and so would your child" I sob as I would rather die with him knowing that then carrying on living and pretend I love him.
I'm pregnant and I feel sick that I will die with a child inside me however he can never know. I see one last glance as he doesn't seem to take much note of the secret confession. He places the pillow back over my face.
I begin to kick again despite it all and I start to worry...Okay! I don't want to die!
"I'm pregnant!" I shout however it's muffled and he can't hear me!
It's too late...Everything has gone to black.
...
Sarah Barnes
Once upon a time, I thought Craig Dean was the love of my life. That's still true however I feel that I found someone who could replace the hole in my heart that he left. Zoe makes me feel like the most important person in the world. Though I'm not with Zoe...I'm with Lydia. Typical right? Well not really, I feel really bad for Lydia. I never wanted to hurt her because I know how it feels but I can't help it. Can you help who you fall in love with? Everyone thought I was crazy when I came out but the truth was that I still fancy boys. You can't just turn something like that of. Craig is still the one I truly love and I would drop everything if he wanted to give our love another shot however that's never going to happen. I never really dated girls before because I was in high school and I didn't want people to know I liked girls too. That would have been their excuse for teasing me. A bit like Craig I suppose...
Anyway, enough about that. I'm about to skydive...It will give us something to take our minds of this...Whatever this is. I feel excited but I can tell that Zoe is nervous. I give her a smile as I put my hands on shoulder. Lydia seems unfazed but she always is as I give her a smile too. I don't want her to feel left out again as she hasn't done anything wrong.
Zoe is the first to go...
"Come on. Jump it" the instructor tells her and she does so on point...I feel glad about it.
Now it's my go and I look across to see the land. It looks so small from up here. I then jump out as I feel the air in my hair. I wonder what everyone at home would be thinking now if they saw me jump out a plane. I've gone crazy enough as it is with the whole liking girls thing so this would be just another thing to add to the list. I look around in amazement and look up at the plane where Lydia is. We all float around each other while we all laugh...like being in the sky is normal. I hold hands with Zoe and Lydia before letting go. I give her thumbs up which results in Zoe going in the air and that's the last I ever see of her. I then give Lydia thumbs up with a smile and press the button however it doesn't work! I start to scream! This is the most terrifying thing in the world!
"No!" Lydia shouts however she has to go up too and she leaves me to fall to my death!
I close my eyes and try to think of happier times...I can't! I think of my parents, Amy...Leah and Lucas...Rhys...Hannah...Lydia...Zoe...Craig but none of it can stop the impending doom! I panic and panic! I wish someone could save me!
"Help!" I shout out of desperation as I plummet to my death! They have to save me!
I think back to every good moment of my life and every bad moment of my life but it can't distract me! I feel like my whole life has built up to this moment...Has it? I don't know! What will happen to me when I die? I cry.
"Oh my God! Oh my God! Somebody help me!" I shout before I fall to the ground!
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TBC: Next will be Paul Marquess's era