Chapter 2
June 1812
The next three days were difficult for Elizabeth. Her head pained her fiercely, and she was not well enough yet to rise from her bed. When she was not sleeping, she was alone with the terribly handsome, yet solemn Mr. Darcy. He saw to her every need, she must admit that, but he avoided touching her unless absolutely necessary, and spoke little. She was relieved not to be touched by him, since she did not know him, even if he was her husband; but she wondered again how she could have fallen in love with such a man, and so quickly. Had she been dazzled by his looks? That was very possible. He was easily the most handsome man she had ever seen. But she did not think herself foolish enough to marry a man simply because he was attractive.
And did Mr. Darcy love her? She had seen no sign of it thus far. There were no tender words, no affectionate touches. He was diligent in seeing to her health and comfort, however. It would be wonderful to be loved by a man who took such good care of her.
On the third day, when she was finally well enough to leave her bed and sit at a table to eat breakfast from a tray, Darcy told her, "I sent word to your family in Hertfordshire, as well as the Gardiners, to let them know about your accident. The Gardiners and Mary should be arriving soon to see you."
Elizabeth felt excitement for the first time since she had awoken. "You did? Oh, thank you so much, sir!" She laid her hand over his in her effusions, and he stiffened when she did so. Frowning inwardly, she withdrew her hand. What kind of marriage did they have, when they could not even touch each other affectionately? "Jane is not coming?"
"Jane is on her wedding trip in Paris. I told you that when you first awoke, but perhaps you do not remember it."
"No, I did not. Whom did she marry? Is it someone I would remember?"
"I do not think so. She married my friend Bingley just a few weeks ago. We were in Meryton for the ceremony, then travelled back to Pemberley. I want the babe to be born safely in the country."
Elizabeth felt uncomfortable once again as she glanced down at her stomach. How had it gotten there, when her husband was not even comfortable touching her hand? Not that she knew anything about what happened in the marriage bed. Her mother had only ever used words such as "duty" and "submission" in describing the marital act, but she had no idea what else happened.
It occurred to her then that Darcy might want to share her bed again, once she was better. She was frightened of such an idea. Besides having no idea what to expect, she did not know this man. She forced her mind onto other things.
"Mr. Bingley? I recall that was the name of the new tenant at Netherfield, but I do not remember meeting him."
"Indeed. I was one of the party he invited to stay with him."
"Tell me how we met," asked Elizabeth. "Was it at the Meryton Assembly?" She must have fallen in love with him at first sight if they had married so quickly.
Darcy looked uncomfortable. "We did not technically meet at the Assembly, although I suppose that was the first time we saw one another."
"We were not introduced then?" she asked in surprise.
Darcy hesitated. "No, not until some days later. Our party met with the Bennets in several settings."
"And we got to know each other better?"
"Yes." The word was curt, and Elizabeth did not know what was troubling him. Why should the tale of their courtship bother him?
"But you said the Gardiners and Mary are coming here?" she asked, trying to divert the topic to something more comfortable for him.
It seemed to work, for his shoulders relaxed. "Yes. They are going on a tour of Derbyshire now that your uncle has some free time from his business. Mary accompanied them. They were going to come here to stay when they got closer to Pemberley, but once I wrote to them, they decided to come here immediately."
Pemberley. That was the name of Mr. Darcy's estate. Elizabeth had heard the name mentioned several times over the last three days. She had yet to venture outside her rooms, but she hoped to see it soon. She had learned that the cause of her head injury had been a fall while she was walking. Apparently the grounds of Pemberley were extensive and she enjoyed tramping through them frequently.
"They should be here tomorrow," Mr. Darcy finished.
"I shall be very glad to see them," she said.
Darcy smiled at her, but it was a timid thing, as if he was afraid of her response. She could understand why he would be so unsure with a woman who did not remember him.
"You will forgive me if I seem distant, Mr. Darcy. It is simply hard to accustom myself to being married when I do not remember anything." She gave an apologetic smile.
He gave a smile that was more genuine. "There is no need to apologize, Elizabeth. It is natural that we should both be a little unsure around each other."
"Will you not tell me more about our courtship?" she asked. "You told me we were married in early December. If that is the case, we must not have known each other long before we became engaged."
Mr. Darcy looked uneasy. "I think it is time for you to have another rest," he said. "You have been up from bed for an hour."
"I am not tired, nor do I need to return to bed," said Elizabeth, feeling a bit annoyed that he would not answer her question. It was almost as if he were hiding something. "Mr. Thomas said I may stay up as long as I do not tire, and I feel quite rested. In fact, I would like to walk around a bit and see some of Pemberley."
"I would love to show you my home," said Darcy. "As long as you are sure you are feeling well enough?" He looked concerned.
"I am certain," she said. She privately wondered why Mr. Darcy had said "my" home, not "our" home. Was she not now mistress of this estate, and his wife? Was it not her home too?
She was distracted from the point as Mr. Darcy lent her his arm to support her as they left her bedroom. She could feel the muscles of his arm beneath his shirt, and once again recognized that she had never come across a more attractive specimen of the male sex. No wonder it had not been hard for her to fall in love with him! His personality, however, was harder to accustom herself to. She could not see herself being attracted by such a solemn and dour personality. He seldom smiled and she had never yet heard him laugh. She had always seen herself marrying, if she married at all, a man who enjoyed life, who saw the humour in things, and had a ready wit. Mr. Darcy did not seem to have any of those things.
Her mind soon wandered from the point as Mr. Darcy led her down the halls of Pemberley. She had never imagined that Mr. Darcy had such wealth, or that his estate was so grand! She had thought that perhaps he had an estate of £2,000 or £3,000 a year, that was similar to Longbourn. She had certainly never aspired to anything higher. But when she asked Darcy, he told her that Pemberley alone brought in £10,000 per annum, and that he had several smaller estates in England and one in Scotland, all of which brought in more.
She could not imagine having married such a man. She was not even in the same social sphere as he. Mr. Darcy must have faced the disapproval of the ton and his family to marry her, with little dowry and poor connections. What an amazing thing to be loved thus!
"Do you have any family, Mr. Darcy?" she asked.
"I have a sister more than ten years my junior. Georgiana. You and she are great friends."
"And where is Georgiana now?" Elizabeth wondered, if they were such good friends, why she had not been at Elizabeth's bedside.
"She has gone with my aunt and uncle, the Earl and Countess of Matlock, to Ramsgate for a holiday to enjoy the seaside. I wrote them a letter as soon as you woke to let them know you were recovering."
Elizabeth was stuck on one point. "You have an earl for an uncle?" she asked, even more astonished.
"Yes, my mother was Lady Anne Fitzwilliam. The current earl is her brother."
Elizabeth was amazed. That such a man of wealth and connections should marry her, a mere country miss, was incredible. She felt a warmth that she was loved so much. It still did not explain how she had fallen in love with him, but she was sure she would find out.
"Your father is gone also?" she asked.
"Yes. He had an older sister, my Aunt Constance. She is Viscountess Melbourne."
"And all these august people approve of me?" Elizabeth teased.
Darcy frowned briefly. "You have not met them. At least, not all of them. You have met my cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, and my aunt Lady Catherine de Bourgh."
"Were the rest not at our wedding?" she asked in surprise.
"No, they were – unable to make it," Darcy said stiltedly.
From this, Elizabeth assumed that they did not approve of her. She would have to make inroads on those relationships.
"I hope I have no caused a rupture in your family?" she asked in concern.
Darcy hesitated. "My aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, had always wanted me to marry her daughter, Anne; but neither Anne or I wished for it, and there was no engagement between us."
"So she broke off the relationship?" asked Elizabeth, aghast.
"No, I did that," said Darcy. "She was so offensive to you by letter and in person, that I vowed we would not speak again until she apologized."
"I am very sorry to be the cause of such strife," said Elizabeth earnestly.
He looked down at her and his face softened. "It is not your fault. It is Lady Catherine's. But let us speak of pleasanter topics. Would you like to see the library? It used to be your favourite room in the house."
"I would be delighted!"
November 1811
Darcy was finding himself more and more bewitched by the beautiful Miss Elizabeth Bennet. He had realized how truly lovely she was at the party at Lucas Lodge. She had teased him about listening in to her conversations, and he had admitted to Miss Bingley that he found Elizabeth's eyes very fine, which he had instantly regretted. He had thought it would deter Caroline, but it appeared to simply make her more snide and vicious when it came to the Bennets.
He had asked Elizabeth to dance with him that evening, but she had declined. He was surprised – women lined up to dance with him – but was also impressed that she was not influenced by his wealth and position.
Now that she was staying at Netherfield to care for her sister, Jane, he was able to see her every day and bask in her presence. He was still unsure whether he wanted to offer for her or not, so he gave her no encouragement, although he did ask her to dance a reel with him. To his surprise, she turned him down again! That was when he realized that perhaps she had overheard him when he had insulted her at the Meryton Assembly. At the time he had not really cared who overheard, but now he was regretful that he might have hurt her. No wonder she turned down dancing with him! She was clearly getting a little revenge, which he could not fault her for. But she was playful and teasing with him, so he knew she was not truly angry with him.
It was only after she and Jane had left Netherfield that he realized what desolation there was in his life without her, and he decided to propose. His family would not approve, except perhaps Richard and Georgiana, but it was his life and his happiness at stake. He decided to wait for the Netherfield Ball to reveal his heart. Perhaps he could suggest to Elizabeth a walk in the garden and he could propose then. It never occurred to him that she might not accept.