Leo: What. The. Shell?
Katana: Uh-oh.
Leo: What the shell? What do you mean, I'm being abused by Splinter?! That is a lie! Why you - "
Katana: AHHH! *runs and hides behind Donnie* Donnie! Explain that this is an AU fic and completely noncanon and that I made this entire universe up and that he has no real reason to be upset with me?
Donnie: She's right, Leo. In a way.
Leo: Fine. Just - just get on with it. *stalks away*
Katana: Whew! Thanks Donnie!
Donnie: So what is this about Splinter abusing my brother? *dangerously calm voice*
Katana: *gulp* Um . . . Readers, enjoy! Thank you for the reviews, I enjoy each and every one of them! Now, pray I can sort this out with Donnie and Leo.
Because of You
DONNIE
Donnie stared at the horrible, horrible word on the page in front of him. Just the shape of the letters, the way they looked on the page, made him feel sick to his stomach. He had heard of abuse before, of course, and it has always made him feel disgusted with the human race. How could someone do something like that to one of their own? How could someone tear a human being apart and destroy them, physically and mentally? Whenever it came up, Donnie felt a rare happiness at the fact he wasn't human.
He had never thought for even a nanosecond that one of his brothers would ever fall victim to abuse. Especially not his brother Leonardo.
But it all made sense. Everything. Leo was being abused, and had been ever since they were little kids.
A horrifying, sickening mental image of a toddler Leo being attacked by a faceless enemy forced its way into Donnie's mind. He bit his lip as he swallowed down bile and blinked back heavy tears. How could anyone abuse a child? How could anyone even think of hurting Leo? He was so sweet, so trusting as a toddler. Donnie's memories of Leo from before were hazy, but he remembered how Leo was always thinking of them. Tucking them in at night, kissing their boo-boo's better, helping them every step of the way. He was both their brother and their mother, in a way.
Then . . . Donnie realized his mental image was wrong. Leo wasn't being abused by some faceless nobody; he couldn't be. No, he had to be abused by someone in the Lair, and the only candidate was -
A knock at the door forced Donnie out of his train of thought. Feeling both guilty and relieved at not following that thought to the end, he leapt up from his chair and practically ran to his lab door. He opened it to see April waiting. Rather impatiently, if her body language was any indication.
"Hey April." Donnie struggled to keep his voice sounding normal. It was close.
"We need to talk." April said, sounding upset. Donnie moved to free the doorway for her, but she held up her hand. "Privately."
Donnie swallowed nervously. "Oh-okay."
He gestured for her to follow him towards the entrance. "We're going for a walk!" He shouted in the general direction of the two present brothers. They both acknowledged him in their own ways, and Donnie lead April out of the Lair and into the sewers.
"Follow me." He said over his shoulder as they navigated the dark passages.
"Not planning on going off on my own." She said, and Donnie chuckled awkwardly.
They walked into the maze of tunnels for about five minutes before Donnie disappeared down a small tunnel, April close on his heels. On the other end of the tunnel was a small room full to the brim with pipes, gauges, cables, nozzles and ducts.
"What is this place?"
"Old pump room, or something similar. The place was covered with dust when I found it so it's safe." He explained, sitting down on a spot on the floor so he could see the door. "I never told anyone about it, so even if they come looking for us, they shouldn't be able to find us."
April nodded and sat down across from him, crossing her legs and arms in a self hug. All was silent, and Donnie waited patiently. Then April blurted it out.
"I had that feeling again."
That caught Donnie's attention. "The feeling you got with Dr. Rockwell?" He asked urgently.
"Sort of. It felt the same, but the results were . . . Different."
"Different? Different how? No, wait. Start at the beginning. Leave nothing out."
"I was in the pit, waiting for Leo to come out of the dojo, when that feeling came over me. It - it felt like I was underwater, sort of. You know, that feeling that your head's being squashed?" April explained uncertainly. At Donnie's nod, she continued.
"When I got the feeling, something told me to look at the area between the dojo and your bedrooms. I did, and I caught a glimpse of Leo racing to his room. And that's when . . . " She trailed off.
"When what?"
"When I - I think I went into Leo's mind."
Donnie flinched, his eyes going wide. "What?!"
"I - I felt things. Emotions, and even a memory that weren't mine." April sucked in her breath, hesitating, then plowed on. "And that's what I wanted to talk about. What I felt. What Leo felt."
Donnie bit his lip. April had been in Leo's mind. This could be the conformation that - that Leo was being abused. Or it could prove something else is going on! A desperate voice inside of him cried. But, would April be this upset looking if it were something else?
"What did you feel?" He asked softly.
"At first, all - all I could feel was pain. Then I felt anger, and humiliation, and uselessness, and timidity, and hurt. But, the most - the most powerful emotions were sadness and fear. He was afraid, Donnie. And he thought - he felt like he was worthless and - and - and I saw a memory!" April babbled, her voice getting louder and higher.
"He was just standing there, holding his a-arms up and his f-feet apart, a-and th-there w-was a pra-practice sword. I-it - h-he - he wa-was ge-getting b-beat with it!"
April was blubbering now, tears streaming down her face.
"He di-didn't fight ba-back, ju-ju-just let himself be be-beaten to the ground!"
April finally let her tears flow freely as the full impact of what she had seen hit her. Unsure of what to do, Donnie reached a hand out and pulled her into a tight hug. April immediately latched onto him and continued to cry into his chest. Normally, Donnie would be reveling in the close contact with his crush, but all he could think about was the scene April had described.
His brother had been beaten.
His brother had been beaten for who knows how long, who knows how many times, and he had never noticed.
His mental image from earlier came back, only with Leo looking like he did now, and the picture turned into a movie, a clip of their old wooden practice weapons bludgeoning Leo to the floor. Tears once again welled in his eyes, and he furiously blinked to clear his vision. Who could do that? Who could harm an innocent person, in the beginning an innocent child, in such a cruel, heartless way? Who could beat a gentle soul like Leonardo?
Once again, Donnie found himself on the train of thought known as "Who is the abuser?", and this time, he rode it to the end of the line.
Tears sprang up again in Donnie's eyes, too fast for him to suppress them. He let them leak out and drip down his cheeks, and because that release of all the emotion that had been building up inside him (so much, so quickly) had felt sooo good, he didn't stop the rest from flowing. He buried his head in April's fiery red hair, and began to cry as well.
April felt the tears in her own hair, and pulled back, tears staining her cheek. "Why are you crying, Donnie?"
"I was right. I was right."
"Right about what? About Leo being beat? You knew?!" April cried furiously.
"For about a minute before you knocked on the door, and I didn't know for sure until just now."
April's gaze hardened. "Explain. Now."
So Donnie went over the way Leo had reacted to the song on Pandora, how he had been acting the way he had since they were little kids, how he, Mikey, and Raph had vowed that morning to figure out what was wrong with Leo, how he had read the PTSD section if the book, and, inadvertently, stumbled upon the real answer flipping through the book.
"I was in shock, and that's when you knocked on my door." Donnie said, tears slowly falling down his face. "I didn't have time to process it all until just now. And it - it just hit me. My big brother . . . My big brother is being abused, and he - he's being abused by the person who I thought of as my father until five minutes ago! He's been abused all this time, and we never even - even thought about it! Splinter is abusing Leo!" Donnie shouted painfully, tears falling faster and faster down his cheeks. This time it was April that held out the comforting hand, and Donnie that latched on for some pillar of support as his heart went through emotional turmoil, April who hugged tightly, and Donnie who sobbed his heart out in comforting arms.
APRIL
It was an eternity before Donnie let go of her and wiped his tears. He spent a good few minutes wiping his tears and sniffing, trying to get himself back under control.
He finally regained some control. "What am I going to do?" He whispered through a raspy throat.
"What are we going to do?" April corrected. If Donnie thought that she wasn't going to do everything in her power to help Leo, he was sadly mistaken.
To Donnie's credit, he looked up at her, but upon seeing the look of pure determination on her face, he swallowed any arguments he may have had.
"Okay, what are we going to do? I - I never - I don't know anything about abuse." Donnie admitted. "I have no idea what you do to help abuse victims."
"Then, maybe that's what you should do first. Learn. Use the internet, see what it says."
Donnie nodded. "Okay, but, I'd like a second opinion, from someone I know knows what they're talking about."
April thought for a second. "Well, I guess I could talk to my school psychiatrist." At Donnie's startled look, she rushed to explain. "I tell him I think that a friend of a friend is being abused, and I'm not sure what to do."
"Alright, that might work." Donnie sighed. A silence filled the air, one that hung heavy on April.
She had never met the turtle's "Master Splinter", but she hated him with all her heart. While she couldn't claim to know Leo very well, she knew that he was kind and gentle when not in battle. No one deserved to be abused, but especially not one like Leonardo.
I will never let that rat come near Leo again. April thought defiantly, very much aware that she wouldn't be any use in a fight, but still willing to do anything she could to get Leo out.
Her defiant vow prompted another thought. It wouldn't be enough to just help Leo with what he was going through. If they truly wanted the abuse to end . . .
"Donnie."
Donnie looked up, pulled away from his own thoughts. "Hmm?"
"You know, we can't just help Leo with what he's been through. It - it won't make a difference unless we get him far away from Splinter." She spat out the name, feeling dirty, like she had just cussed. "We need to get Leo far, far, far away from him."
"But where? Where could we go?" Donnie said helplessly. "We've only ever known the Lair. I can't think of anywhere that we could reasonably access without being discovered, that would be safe from humans, and that Splinter doesn't know about."
April bit her cheek. She hadn't thought about where they could go, only that they should go.
"I'll think of something." April answered determinedly. She would. She would help Leo, whatever the cost.
"Thanks, April." Donnie smiled wanly. He proceeded to stand up and stretch, and April rose with him. "We need to head back. They'll come looking for us soon if we don't."
"Alright. Can - can we see Leo?" She asked timidly.
"If he lets us in." Donnie said grimly.
Leo did not. His door remained locked and only a small "I'm tired, Donnie" came from the other side. Donnie told April they shouldn't push it, and, reluctantly, April agreed, and went home for the day, mind spinning in anger and sorrow on behalf of Leo.
RAPH
Raph had no clue what time it was when he was shaken awaken only that it was an hour no sane turtle should be up at.
"Whasa . . . ?" He moaned, prying his eyes open.
"Shhh!" A voice whispered sharply.
Raph blinked several times, and frowned as Donnie's face came into focus. "Donnie? What . . . What the shell are you doing here?"
"We need to talk."
Raph groaned and stuffed his head under his pillow. "Couldn't we have talked when I was awake?"
"No. I need to talk to you and Mikey privately. It's about Leo."
Suddenly, Raph was wide awake. "Leo? You found out what was wrong?"
Donnie didn't answer. "We need to get Mikey." He stood up and walked to the door, then turned and made sure Raph was following. He was.
"Donnie -"
"Shh!" Donnie hissed, holding a finger to his lips. He crept up to Mikey's door, shell against the wall, then slipped inside. A minute later, Donnie came back out, Mikey in tow, rubbing his eyes.
Donnie gestured to both of them and led them into his room. He waved them in, then gently shut the door and locked it behind him.
"Donnie, wh-what's goin' on?" Mikey yawned as he silently jumped into Donnie's bed and sat crisscross.
"Yeah Don, what's so secret about Leo that you couldn't tell us before we went to sleep?" Raph added, crossing his arms as he leaned against the wall by the head of the bed.
Donnie stood at the door, fidgeting and biting his lip, fiddling with his fingers. Even Raph could tell he was nervous. Extremely nervous.
"Spit it out Donnie." Raph ordered.
Donnie walked over to the desk in his room, and picked up a thick book.
"April brought her psychology book. I read about PTSD and depression, and, while it fit, there was something I wasn't seeing. I stumbled upon that something by accident in the book." Donnie said grimly, a frown etched deep in his face.
"Enough with the riddles, Donnie. What's wrong with Leo?"
"He - he's - Leo - he -" Donnie stammered, his voice choked like he was fighting back tears.
"He what, Donnie?" Mikey urged.
Donnie made a strangled sound in his throat, and instead of answering, flipped to a page in the textbook and shoved it into Raph's hands.
One of the benefits of being a humanoid turtle. Turtles have excellent night vision, and so Raph was able to read the section heading clear as day.
Abuse.
"What?!" Raph barked loudly.
"Shhh! Raph, do you want to wake Leo or Splinter up?" Donnie hushed.
Raph scowled, but lowered his voice. "You're insane, Don, if you think this is the answer."
"What?" Mikey asked curiously.
"Raph, I know, I wish it wasn't true either, but it is. If you read the entire section, you'll notice that the example could be a description of Leo. And - and April got that feeling and accidentally read Leo's emotions, like with Dr. Rockwell. Raph, it's true."
No. No, no. Donnie was lying. There was no freaking way Leo was being abused.
"No way, Donnie. It's not possible. No one here would ever - "
"Raph, it's true. I know it. You can either accept that and help Leo, or let him continue to suffer." Donnie said coldly and firmly.
"What are you talking about?" Mikey asked, lost. But his brothers had forgotten about him.
"But who could - "
"You know who." And Raph did. There was only one person it could be. But, why? Why would the person who cares about them, raised them from mutation, saved their lives countless times, ever hurt one of them? Why? Why would Splinter abuse Leo?
"What is going on?!" Mikey whisper-shouted.
"Mike, Leo, Leo's being - a-abused." Donnie whispered, stumbling over the last word.
Mikey's eyes instantly filled with fear, shock, and horror. "What? But - but - no! Leo - he - he can't be!"
But Mikey's eyes told a different story. His mind was racing, connecting dots, drawing conclusions. Just like Raph's was. Suddenly, memory after memory poured into his head. Of mysterious injuries, days and weeks spent in his room, food on Leo's plate sitting until someone else cleared it. The look of fear in Leo's eyes when they made a sudden move towards him, the defense way he sat and walked, the quietness of his voice.
"No." Mikey whimpered, and silent tears ghosted down his face. Donnie immediately rushed to him and hugged Mikey. Mikey's face disappeared into Donnie's shoulder as sobs began racking his body. On Raph's part, he collapsed into one of Donnie's chairs, his mind and body in shock.
It was forever before one of them spoke again.
"What are we going to do?" Mikey whispered.
"I - I don't know, Mike." Donnie said. "I talked to April. She - she said she'd inquire about abuse victims with her guidance consular at school -"
"You told her before you told us?" Raph hissed.
"She came to me. In that emotion scan, she also saw a memory of Leo being beaten!" Donnie hissed back. Mikey gasped, and Raph reeled back like he had been hit by a nasty punch.
"B-beaten?"
Donnie nodded. "She found out a couple minutes before I did. Anyway, she said she'd ask, and try to think of a place we could go."
"Go?" Mikey echoed.
"Mikey, we can't stay here, or Leo will only continue to be abused. We need to find our own place." Donnie said gently.
Mikey nodded through tears. "We won't let - let - let him hurt Leo anymore."
"Right." Donnie smiled sadly.
"Shell no. We aren't going to let anything ever happen to Leo again." Raph swore, his famous temper beginning to bubble. "Leo's been acting like this since we were freaking six. The only thing that could hurt a six-year-old is a monster!"
Mikey nodded grimly, and Donnie narrowed his eyes in agreement. But before anything more could be said, a beeping came from Donnie's belt pocket. Confused, Donnie slipped it out and checked the screen. His eyes widened.
"What now?" Raph groaned.
"Someone's set off an alarm in my lab. Someone's in there." Donnie whispered.
LEO
Leo was 6 years old, and his father had just called him into the dojo. Leo was excited at the prospect. Maybe Master Splinter was going to train him some more. Earlier that day, he had been staring at Leo as he went through his katas. Maybe his father thought he was worth training.
On legs that were extremely graceful for a child his age, Leo walked into the dojo he knew so well and shut the door behind him, unaware that today was the day his childhood ended.
A part of Leo was aware, aware that this was only just a dream, a nightmare of a memory. That part wasn't strong enough to get him to wake up.
Leo was tossed against the floor, thrown aside like a rag doll.
"Sensei, please. You're hurting me!"
Tears bubbles in both dream Leo and real Leo's eyes.
"If you are to lead my sons in the war against Oruku Saki and evil, you must be strong. You must learn to accept pain. Pain must not slow you down. Only a strong turtle can lead my sons. You must not show any weakness! Are you a strong turtle, Kame?"
"Y-yes. I - I am strong!" Three words that sealed his fate.
Leo bolted up in bed, his ragged covers falling to the floor. Sweat and tears streamed down his face, and he trembled, for a moment stuck in the past. Then Leo was in the present, and the present was much, much worse.
Leo wiped his eyes half-heartedly, but the tears continued to flow. So Leo gave in and curled up on himself and sobbed. He was so tired of reliving that day, that day all of this began. He was so tired of the beatings, the coarse words, the disappointment. He was tired of everything, tired of life itself. This was a worthless existence. Why did he put up with the pain of living? Why didn't he run, or hide, or simply let himself die from his treatment? Why did he hold on?
Leo knew the answer. His brothers, the same reason he was in this to begin with. He was treated like this so he could protect his brothers, and he lived with it so he could protect his brothers from both the opposing sides and Splinter.
But sometimes, sometimes it got so hard, living. Sometimes, it was just too much and it rocked Leo to his core. Those times were the nights that Leo woke up in a fearful sweat, and cried, like tonight. No one knew about these midnight sob-fests. Leo had long ago mastered the art of silent crying.
What had overwhelmed him this time? The beating? The song from last night? Donnie and April wanting to see him? Most likely a combination of all three.
The song. Oh, the song. Leo tried to bring the words of the song up from the murky depths of his mind, but found that he couldn't remember the exact words. But he needed those words! He needed to know them, to feel them. Those words were his life and soul now. Without them, he had nothing. He needed to hear the song again, now.
Mind made up, Leo quietly stood up off his mattress, wincing slightly at the ache of his muscles, and crept to the door. He mentally crossed his fingers as he turned the doorknob, and breathed a silent sigh of relief as it turned all the way. Master must have unlocked the door earlier in the night.
Silent as, well, as a ninja, Leo padded down the halls, careful to use everything he knew about stealth. He wasn't supposed to be out of his room this time of night. If he was caught . . . No. He wouldn't be. He was almost at his destination, and he would get there unharmed tonight.
And he did. Almost smiling, but not quite, Leo reached the door to Donnie's lab. He slowly eased the door open, careful not to cause any groans or creams, and slipped inside, before repeating the process and shutting the door behind him.
His eyes were used to the dark by now, and he could see the outlines of the various machines, parts, and half-finished projects scattered around the room. But Leo only had eyes for one, and the minute he locked eyes on it, he scurried over. He gingerly sat down in the chair in front of Donnie's desk, and slipped on the pair of headphones connected to the computer. He pushed the button that clearly was the power button, and the monitor burst to life. Luckily, Leo guessed the password easily ("APRIL" wasn't a very secure password), and quickly opened up the internet.
The home page of Google appeared before him, and Leo only hesitated a second before clumsily typing in the name of the song. Several videos popped up, and he clicked on that had words on the screen. The page switched to YouTube, and after a small pause, the music began to play into the headphones. Leo sat his head down on the desk, on top of his folded arms, and stared slightly upward at the screen as the music flowed over him.
The song ended, too soon. Leo immediately clicked a button, and the video started over, now playing on a loop. Leo stared at the screen for what felt like hours, memorizing the lyrics of the song, burning them into his cerebral. He drank the words in, and let them settle in his core. Eventually, he closed his eyes, and muscles released their tension. He fell asleep, and dreamed of nothing for the rest of the night.
He never noticed the three figures watching him from the shadows, preoccupied as he was, nor did he wake when his immediate younger brother carried him to Donnie's room, or when his second youngest brother checked him over and did what he could for his wounds, or when all three of them tucked him in in Donnie's bed, and began to keep watch over him for the rest of the night.
Hey! Thanks for reading! I really appreciate it! This is probably a halfway point chapter. I do know what I'm going to be doing, so hopefully I'll be finishing the story soon.
Please review, tell me your thoughts, what you like, what you don't, what I can do better, etc.
Caleoforever: I know, I'm sorry. I just haven't been too motivated lately. I will try to make another chapter.
Have a great Labor Day!
-Katana