Well, well, well. What do we have here? It seems after months and months I've decided to finally update. I could rattle off a bunch of excuses about how busy was but it's simply not good enough. Anyways, I won't waste your time by writing heaps here because I'm pretty sure most of you would rather me just get on with the story. But I do have some important news. I have indeed decided to do my Levy chapter but that comes later. This chapter (8) will be a strictly Lucy chapter, chapter 9 will be a Jerza chapter and then finally, at chapter 10, we'll have a special Levy's perspective on the whole thing. So look forward to it~!
Oh! And shit gets a tinsy bit real this chapter so be prepared, the rating has changed! :O
It's not that bad but yeah, I can't leave the rating at T anymore.
Enjoy the latest chapter :)
Chapter 8: Of sisters and street corners
Lucy's POV
It had been a couple days now since the incident and Michelle had been sleeping in my room the entire time. Granted, I liked having my little sister around - it reminded me of better times in our past - but I also liked sleeping in my own bed instead of on the faulty air mattress that deflated throughout the course of a single night.
But then again, I was terrified of what would happen to Michelle if she went home.
I knew father would be angry but I also knew there was nothing I could really do to stop him. The two of us had to suffer for our mother's sake. If it wasn't for our poor, sweet, but sickly mother, Jude Heartfilia would have been behind bars already.
I do not resent my mother for her illness. Cancer isn't something you can help having, nor is it a disease that can just disappear with a bit of chemo or whatever. (Most of the time).
Sighing heavily I lean over and move Michelle's hair from her face so I can kiss her bruised forehead lightly.
My little sister had sustained injuries that were a lot harder to cover up than mine. The majority of her cuts and bruises were on her sweet, innocent face. They could be partially covered by makeup but it was still obvious as to what had happened.
Whereas my marks were mostly on my torso, upper thighs and arms. Something that could easily be hidden with a sweater or a jacket and some less revealing clothing - something I wasn't used to wearing.
After showering, applying makeup and tying my hair in a high ponytail I went to my wardrobe to selected my outfit. A baggy black sweater and a baby pink skirt that fell just above my knees, the perfect length to hide the marks of my beating. I slipped on a pair of black ballet flats and gathered my school supplies, piling them into my satchel bag and slinging the strap over my shoulder as I exited the room.
I gave a small wave to Michelle and whispered words of love and support that she probably couldn't hear since she was asleep. Though I swore I could see the corners of her mouth curve up just a little.
Upon leaving Michelle, I found the face's of Levy, Juvia and Erza rather close to my own as I exited the room. Concern was plastered all over their features.
"Is Michelle ok?"
"Just how sick is she?"
"Is there anything we can do for her?"
The three of them bombarded me with questions about my little sister.
I had told them that my parents were away on a business trip and that Michelle had nowhere to go so I said she could stay with us. I also told them that she had a rather nasty case of the flu and was practically bed-ridden for the time being.
They were all rather concerned about her and wanting to talk with her, make sure she was ok but I wouldn't let them. I had said that I just didn't want them to catch the flu but honestly I just didn't want them to find out how wicked our father really was. I mean, what would they think?
They would probably assume that I was a pathetic coward who couldn't even defend my little sister from our monster of a father.
And that was true.
They would no doubt call the police and have my father arrested. But then what would become of my mother? We weren't able to look after her like father's staff were.
And if Jude Heartfilia were to be carted off to jail, his loyal employees would do nothing for my family. They were completely devoted to him, no one else.
And without him around, we would no longer have the finances to support my mother's treatment.
It all seemed so utterly hopeless.
"Oi, Lucy? You listening?" I blinked rapidly at the sound of a soft voice interrupting my thoughts.
I came face to face with Levy, whose overly long lashes were practically entangled with my own.
"AH, shit!" I yelped and stepped backwards hurriedly, almost tripping over my own feet. I hadn't even realised that I'd begun to lose myself in a daydream.
"Get your head outta the clouds girl, Erza and Juvia have gone on ahead and we're on the verge of being late. We gotta get going." The bluenette instructed and without a word, I nodded and followed her out of the apartment and into the elevator.
My first class of the day was Creative Writing. I've always liked making up little stories, bringing the fantasies inside my mind out onto the paper. It gets me out of my head for at least a little while. Today we were tasked with writing a descriptive piece that reflected upon a hardship we had encountered during our lives or the lives of someone close to us.
I gulped. I could write so much about this subject that if I were to compile it all together, I'd have a novel or two. There's so much to write about but only one particular situation to choose.
'Soft waves of hay coloured hair curled and swirled in the air, drifting down past trembling hands and slender arms, coming to rest at paled feet.'
The sound of scissors snipping sharply, brutally cutting the luscious locks short echoed in my mind. This moment was ever preserved in my mind, sitting there, seemingly fresh, despite the fact that this particular situation had occurred a few years ago.
'The small girl in the pale pink dress fluttered her lashes, trying to hold back tears. The door clicked open but the sound fell on deaf ears. The shouts from her sister go unheard. It's only when a pair of little hands grip her shoulders tightly does she snap out of her daze.
"What have you done?! You're hair...you're beautiful hair…" The older sister mumbles, pulling the younger against her.'
The way I went about writing this piece was rather delicate and maybe a little gentle. The harshness of this particular moment was left untold.
'The smaller girl lower her head of haphazardly cut hair in both shame and frustration. "I didn't want Mama to be the only one."
The older girl cocked her head to the side, slightly confused as she urged her sister to elaborate.
"All her beautiful hair is fading away with each treatment. It used to be bright and vibrant, like sunshine falling around her lively face. Now what's left of it is dull and straw coloured, not lovely at all. I didn't want her to be the only one so I decided to cut my hair too." The shorter one whispered, her eyes watery and her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
The taller of the two gasped and her vision blurred with the onset of tear. She gently took the scissors from her sister's tiny hands, opened them up and cut off each of her ponytails, leaving her golden blonde strands to trickle down and mingle amongst the darker locks already residing on the bathroom floor.
The older now had a shaggy head of hair poking out around her ears, whereas the younger's hair resembled a lions mane.
"All three of us are the same now." The pair whispered, embracing each other, letting tears the tears flow and praying that their mother would be ok.
I set down my pen and leaned back in my chair, stretching my arms out above my head. "Ahh, done" I softly, feeling a little nostalgic yet rather sad as well. Poor Michelle, she just wanted to make sure Mama didn't feel alone. I guess the two of us didn't exactly succeed in the end.
"Oh, you're finished as well Lucy?" A familiar voice purred into my ear.
I looked over to see Loke sitting next to me, bruised and bandaged but still smiling. Guilt instantly washed over me and I just wanted to curl up in the corner and disappear.
"Loke...When did you get here?" I whispered, unable to look him in the eyes.
"A fair while ago, I came in a bit late and said hi to you as you sat down but you were so immersed in your work you didn't seem to notice."
"Ah, sorry." I mumbled pathetically.
An awkward silence took up residence between us. I looked up at Loke who was looking at me intently with those seductive green eyes of his. The eyes of a playboy, there was no doubt.
He smiled cutely before reaching out to rub my arm gently, "Lucy…" he whispered in a low voice.
I shivered, his touch sending what felt like an electric shock straight to my heart.
"I was wondering...Would we be able to talk after school today?"
My eyes widened a little at his question. Oh god. He wanted to talk about what happened the other day didn't he? He was going to get made and say he never wanted to speak to me again. But then why was he touching me like this? Speaking to me in such a way that made my heart feel like it was going to burst? It was weird. I was about to agree since I probably deserved whatever mena things he was going to say to me, but then I realised today was Friday.
"Oh my, I'm so sorry Loke, I can't tonight. It's Friday so I have to work." I smiled awkwardly at him and was about to apologise again when the bell went signifying the end of class.
"Ah.." He looked slightly disappointed as he turned away to gather his things, "Another time then. I'll give you a call tonight maybe?"
"I finish work at 1am, I doubt you'll be up late. Besides, aren't you guys going out drinking tonight at Cana's anyways?" I hated to say this when his face looked so hopeful. Seeing his face fall made me feel all kinds of awful inside.
"Oh yeah, we are. We'll probably be back even later than you.." He mumbled as he walked off without even saying goodbye.
"Are you Lacey Heart?" A gruff voice addressed me, through the slit of a partly wound down window.
I could make out long blonde hair, almost identical in colour to mine and a pair of red rimmed shades but that was it. I smiled the most seductive smile I could give and leaned forward a little, very aware that my tight, low-cut black dress revealed plenty of cleavage. He would down the window completely and I resting my folded arms across the space where it used to be, giving him an even better view.
He smirked, and nodded approvingly, liking what he saw.
I backed off and we opened the door for me so I could slide in. Here I took a better look at him. He was ok looking, nothing spectacular and certainly nothing compared to the boys from college but he was rather good looking compared to some of the other customers she'd had. Though that sly smirk on his full lips made her slightly uncomfortable.
"Home." He instructed the driver and they took off without a word from the front seat.
"Anything I should know before we get down to business?" I asked him, tucking a neat curl behind my ear, looking at him through hooded eyes, running my tongue over my slightly parted lips.
"You are to address me as Master or Master Rufus, whichever you prefer. Tonight you are mine and mine alone. If you have a problem with anything I'm doing say red light and we'll move onto something less intense."
I bowed my head, "Yes Master." I replied before gritting my teeth.
Another guy like him, they were so common. Ugh. I clenched my fist ever so slightly and attempted to calm myself down.
Focus! You are Lacey Heart now, not Lucy Heartfilia. You've gotta do what you gotta do or you're gonna have to go back to living with that abusive father of yours!
"Good…" He smiled darkly, slithering an arm around me and pulling me close to him.
My legs, clad in leather thigh-highs brushed against his dress pants that wrapped around those strong, muscular thighs of his.
Almost immediately his lips were on my neck sucking lightly so he wouldn't leave any marks before caressing my shoulder ever so gently.
I could tell he was definitely experienced, not just some teenager who knew nothing of how to treat a woman. And his choice of clothes and the sleek, expensive car they were riding in suggested that he would pay quite handsomely.
His hand slide over her shoulder again, then down over her waist before grazing against her inner thigh.
"Hmm, so eager so soon?" She hummed, smirking at him seductively.
"We've got a fair way to go before we get to my place." He breathed in her ear, nipping at her lobe ever so lightly.
"Then I guess I'll just have to entertain you until we get there...Master" She giggled lightly, tracing a delicate finger from his bottom lip, over his chin, down over his neck, taut pectorals and well trained abdomen until she reached the bulge in his pants. She ran a finger over the hardness before pressing her palm against it, earning a slight hiss from her client.
"I can already tell," She whispered hotly in his ear, "You're going to taste divine."
I pushed my fingers towards the back of my throat, tears stinging my eyes as I dry heaved several times. Still I kept pushing until I felt that familiar feeling stirring within my stomach. I shifted my fingers out of the way and leaned over the toilet bowl, effectively throwing up a shit tonne of food.
I did what I always did after a night of work. I came home, got overwhelmed with disgust and guilt, ate and ate and ate before throwing it all up again. But it's not like I had a choice, I wasn't going to be able to get through college if I didn't do this. No other places seemed to be hiring and I was desperate to stay in school and away from that monstrosity of a father.
I repeated this action several times until tears were streaming down my face and my stomach was empty. My throat felt like it was on fire but I was relieved to have gotten rid of all that food.
"Lucy?" Levy's quiet voice drifted through the wooden door and my head shot up.
Why was she here? She wasn't meant to be back for a while yet. I could have sworn her and Juvia had said that they'd be out until at least 3. Damn it!
"Y-Yeah?" I called back to her and she opened the door, her hazel eyes peering into the bathroom to check on me.
"Did you just get sick?" The bluenette asked, biting her lip out of worry.
"Mm, yeah I did. It must have been something I ate." I mumbled and the short girl came and rubbed my back, attempting to make me feel better.
"Are you ok?" Levy looks at me quizzically, her blue head tilted slightly to the right as her concerned eyes search my blank facial expression intensely.
I plaster a big fake smile onto my face and nodd, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just not feeling very well is all."
No, no I am not ok. In fact, I haven't been ok for quite some time now. I'm sick. Very, very sick. But not physically, oh no, my physical health is still intact for now.
Rather, it is my mental health that is severely under the weather. There is something quite wrong with me, something that has been lurking around within me for years now. A demon, that feeds off my pain, suffering and self hatred. It is the burning sensation in the back of my throat as I bring up the meal I had five minutes ago, the growling of my stomach after I haven't eaten for three days straight and the dizzy feeling I get when the lack of food finally starts to take a toll on me.
This demon whispers horrific things in my ear, telling me just how stupid, ugly and worthless I am. It tell me when my next meal shall be, whether I need to empty the contents of my stomach or hole up in my room where the calories can't touch my bones. Sometimes it says in a voice so soft it's barely audible, "Maybe this time you should go a little further, starve a little longer, go over the edge and past the point of no return…"
~ End of Chapter 8 ~
And just so are clear, eating disorders are very serious and should not be taken lightly. If you are struggling with things such as bulimia, anorexia or EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified), I advise you to seek help immediately.
It is not healthy and it's not attractive. Take it from someone who had been through it herself.
Just be aware, all mental disorders a very serious and you should seek help right away if you think you are suffering from these, or any other kind of mental illness.
Recovery is possible.
You just need to reach out, talk to someone you trust about these things. It's never healthy to keep it bottled up. You can talk to you parents, a sibling, a teacher, a friend, your doctor, a counsellor. There's numerous support networks around you and they're not all that difficult to access. Most importantly, you have to remember that you are not alone.
Sadly enough, there are so many people out there going through the same things as you. But you can get through it. I'm getting through it day by day and I have no doubt that you are strong enough to make it through as well.
If you or someone you know if suffering from mental illness, feel free to talk to me about it. I'll be here for you and help you in anyway that I can. Just don't wait until it's too late. Please.
Your life is important to me.
It's finally done D;
I swear, I'm wasting all my study lessons at school writing fanfictionI hope you guys don't hate me too much for taking so long to update. I'm so sorry!
Well thanks for reading everyone! Reviews, favourites and follows are all much appreciated :)
- LittleWonderland xx
Please feel free to read my other Fairy Tail fanfics: Pain can lead to love, Those Lost Years and Have Faith in Me. Thank you so much~